Do You Believe In Courtship?

[esseJ]

Just out of curiousity...why is Josh Harris a hypocrite?

 

[Hewitt]

Just out of curiousity...why is Josh Harris a hypocrite?

I wouldn't consider Josh Harris a hiypocrite by any means, he lives his life the way he teaches to others. His books may be a little different, but that doesn't make them a waste of money. I don't agree with everything he wrote but the book Boy Meets Girl was filled with great advice for any couples!

 

[esseJ]

I wouldn't consider Josh Harris a hiypocrite by any means, he lives his life the way he teaches to others. His books may be a little different, but that doesn't make them a waste of money. I don't agree with everything he wrote but the book Boy Meets Girl was filled with great advice for any couples!

No but Cammie did. I was wondering why? I'm not familiar with his stuff, or his lifestyle.

As far as "courting" goes, I'm not even sure what all that entails...

 

[IslandBreeze]

Oh boy...where do I start?

First of all, I read both of Josh Harris' books. They are a waste of time and I'm glad I didn't spend the money to pay for them.

Some of the things that I really had a problem with keep sticking out in my mind whenever he or his books are mentioned. One of the things he talked about was waking up in the morning (we all know that guys wake up with erections). Well, he said that he had to get out of bed in the morning and ask for forgiveness because of that. A natural occurence and he has to ask for forgiveness? I thought that was totally ridiculous and giving teen guys the WRONG idea about normalcy vs. sin.

The BIGGEST reason I found him to be a hypocrite was because he went on and on and on about sexual sin and not even THINKING about sex. Then, later on in his book, he details things he and his girlfriend would not do---in explicit detail. Some of the stuff he described could very easily lead a person to think about sex--which he said earlier on was a sin. So, he's knowingly leading people to sin (according to HIS WORDS)...sounds like a hypocrite to me.

And overall, I don't believe in courtship anyway. I don't believe there is anything wrong with a little intimacy (kissing, hugging, etc.) before you get married. In fact, I believe it's NECESSARY to build a strong relationship that will last thought the trials of marriage. I think time alone is also important (something Josh Harris thinks is a carnal sin). There are things that engaged couples NEED to discuss about their future together that they need privacy to discuss such things.

I just think his message is warped and way out in left field, and I think he's a hypocrite.

Read the book "I Gave Dating A Chance" instead. It teaches you how to set boundaries between yourselves vs. giving everything up.

 

[Hewitt]

Well, one thing I like about Josh is that he writes from his heart. I've read way too many dating books that are less interesting than my school text books. I don't agree with everything he writes, but I wouldn't go as far and calling his material a waste of time. He even says in his books, you do it as God is leading you. The books are merely a guide for one style of dating/courting.

 

[psycmajor]

Cammie,

Well, if he's like that, I'm not too interested in this Josh Harris.

 

[Athlon4all]

I read I kissed dating goodbye and I think that it was very Biblical. I don't remember he ever saying anything about asking for forgiveness because of getting an erection. Was that in Boy Meets Girl?

 

[Hewitt]

I read I kissed dating goodbye and I think that it was very Biblical. I don't remember he ever saying anything about asking for forgiveness because of getting an erection. Was that in Boy Meets Girl?

I do remember hear that part and I believe it was Boy Meets Girl. I still feel that this thread is tearing Josh Harris down. We must remember he is our brother in Christ and is entitled to his ways of dating as well. If you read Boy Meets Girl, you find that it worked for him and he is now happily married. On another note, if you are a guy and want a book about dating or girls in general, read Every Yound Man's Battle. Incredible book written from the heart!

 

[IslandBreeze]

There is a book that gives some balance to Josh Harris and his ideas of courtship. It's called "I Gave Dating a Chance." It has excellent reviews, and I believe they have it at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

 

[Bunker]

Wow!! I have to say that I have read Josh Harris's books..because we are raising 3 boys and want to raise them up right....to honor women, and I really, really liked what he had to say...all biblically based. Cammie, I think you are being much, much too harsh on this young man. If our boys were to hold his same views, well, I would'nt be happier!!! Do you really think that he was being a hypocrite by stating what he and his girlfried wont do..perhaps he was just trying to 'lay it all out' for some people...as some need it explained more explicitly than others. Reminds me......We were flipping through some channels a few weeks back and came upon this show about surfers living in the same house...a reality show....what caught our eyes and ears was a young guy talking about the Lord...he said that he and his girlfriend did not believe in sex before marriage and what a struggle that was....BUT here is the thing......she was laying all over him in a tiny top and even tinier pants with her THONG showing.....and then was in a teeny tiny bikini all over him as well!!! WELL DUH!!!!!!!!! Of course it is a struggle when you dress that way!!!!!!!! Its hard anyway...why ADD to it?!?! I thought that it was awful as did my husband....that poor guy...why oh why would this young lady dress that way..pure torture!! They also slept in the same house...DANGER....but the show did show them in seperate rooms! Why make walking the narrow path any harder than it already is?! I dont get it! ANYWAY.....I will say that I think that Josh Harris is a wonderful example of a Christian Man......girls out there would be blessed to find a man such as him.

 

[okeydokey]

I think courting - which I basically define as spending time together to get to know the other and come to love them - if that happens - is a good idea. I think it would help people respect each other again and I think it would make physical intimacy much nicer for both sides.

 

[jenptcfan]

I've read both "I kissed dating goodbybe" and "Boy meets girl" by Joshua Harris, and I didn't see him as a hypocrite. I don't remember the asking for forgiveness b/c of an erection part, but I will look for it when I get home.

I didn't think the rules he layed out for he and his girlfriend were too explicit at all. He did give details like "we will not cuddle together or lay entangled while watching a movie." That's about the most explicit thing I can remember. I think the reason he showed the detail of his "rules" in his courtship was to express the need for strict boundaries. Sometimes we tend to just lay out general rules like "we will not have sex before we're married", but if we don't have little safeguards (even if they seem extreme to some) along the way, we can find ourselves gradually tempted toward breaking "the big rule". The thing I liked about Josh Harris was that he repeatedly states in his books that not everyone will have the same rules b/c not everyone will have the same temptations. If you're tempted by kissing your significant other, then you shouldn't do it, whereas I might be perfectly fine/untempted when kissing mine. I think he was just using his life as an example so that others could modify it to work for them.

 

[Saucy]

Yes.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Bro, this has to be a record for oldest thread resurrection.

Buuuut OP is a valid question.

There has to be middle ground. I think a lot of the ways Christians think of courtship nowadays are silly and naive, but I think the secular idea is terrible (cohabitation, premarital relations, never marrying and just being 'partners').

 

[Travelers.Soul]

What on earth?
Why was this thread resurrected? hahahaha.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

We should have a designated day of the week that is Thread Resurrection Day. Haha. Could be fun.

 

[Saucy]

What on earth?
Why was this thread resurrected? hahahaha.

Cause I'm WEIRD, okay? Geesh.

 

[Citanul]

Cause I'm WEIRD, okay?

Post noted for the next time you call me a weirdo.

 

[Saucy]

Post noted for the next time you call me a weirdo.

Do you deny being weird?

 

[PeachieKeen]

A conversation I had with a friend last week had me thinking about courtship after he said he doesn't believe in it. He said it's a "waste of time and money, and girls use it to get a free meal." [my friend's obviously non-C].

If I remember correctly what Elisabeth Elliot wrote in Passion and Purity, a romantic relationship begins with friendship, then progresses with courtship, and finally, the end result is the relationship itself. Do you think it is possible to skip the courtship part?

Also, what, in your opinion, constitutes courtship?

All the relationships ive considered positive or meaningful in my life began as friends first. Honestly, I can't imagine going straight to courtship because the few men I've dated before I KNEW them were utter failures. Courtship to me is two friends agreeing there is something more there and deciding to pursue an exclusive partnership. Or friends working together to see if they are compatible partners for marriage.