Do White Lies Matter?

[Hazelelponi]

True, he is lonely....and paranoid.

I probaly wasn't clear that I get along with the guy and we help each other out on occasion. I don't shut him out altogether.

For example, I'm inviting him for lunch today, and he has no car, so I help him out there..

But I can only tolerate so much of him. He's one of those people who will go on for hours, if you don't stop him. I also tell him he's paranoid, and explain why. It doesnt seem to do any good, but who knows, maybe it will help him over time, if only a little.

Just remember that it's not your job to change his opinions, or anyone else's for that matter. Just to share there are other viable and intelligent thoughts as well that are alternatives.

If you need, change topics. It's generally pretty easy to change the flow of any conversation, people like talking about themselves and their life experiences after all. Some of the people I have treasured most in life were far far older than me. I've heard stories of a man's first Model T car, and how he went from one ditch to the next trying to drive it... haha. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of all the people who have touched my life that are no longer with us.

Just be a friend to your neighbor, people aren't projects to be fixed.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Just remember that it's not your job to change his opinions, or anyone else's for that matter. Just to share there are other viable and intelligent thoughts as well that are alternatives.

If you need, change topics. It's generally pretty easy to change the flow of any conversation, people like talking about themselves and their life experiences after all. Some of the people I have treasured most in life were far far older than me. I've heard stories of a man's first Model T car, and how he went from one ditch to the next trying to drive it... haha. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of all the people who have touched my life that are no longer with us.

Just be a friend to your neighbor, people aren't projects to be fixed.

But it sounds like you are making it a project.

Hey, if I have to start thinking hard on what to say to him, I wont last 5 minutes around him. Just doing what comes naturally.

 

[David Hunter]

For me, I'd rather not go down the path of telling 'white lies' because then it may turn into something bigger.

Plus, ask someone how many lies they've told in their lives and many will say, "Oh, they've only been little white lies."

If you don't want the truth don't ask me! haha

 

[pgp_protector]

Sorry, Lying is sometimes better than the truth.
Therapeutic Fibbing: Why Experts Recommend Lying to Someone with Dementia – DailyCaring

When is it okay to lie to somebody with dementia?

 

[Kenny'sID]

For me, I'd rather not go down the path of telling 'white lies' because then it may turn into something bigger.

Plus, ask someone how many lies they've told in their lives and many will say, "Oh, they've only been little white lies."

If you don't want the truth don't ask me! haha

Agree, if we aren't careful, white lies could be dangerous. I mean whats to stop us from telling a white lie today, tomorrow a bit darker a lie becsuse the first was ok, and so forth, till telling any lies are not such an issue.

Again, I'm only saying, be careful.

 

[Saint JOHN]

Gods main focus is on lies about his word !! his word (Jesus Christ is truth) eg to say a person is saved and they are not no matter how smiley or well meant it is BAD as God word clearly states how and now made someone think they are ! killed them.

human to human its not good to lie either.

 

[Neogaia777]

Okay the title is a joke (and I hope it's non-offensive) but I think it's something we've probably all had to form a view on.

The definition of a white lie by Merriam-Webster is "a lie about a small or unimportant matter that someone tells to avoid hurting another."

Colossians 3:9 says "Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices."

So what should we say if someone asks us something like "Do you like my new haircut?" which may not be a big thing in itself usually but still the person will probably feel hurt if we say that we don't?
Or should we pretend to like a present that someone gives us that we don't really like or should we be honest and just burst into tears or tell them to consult us first next time?

I tell a white lies quite easily but I'm aware that I also tell small lies just to make life easy sometimes so I wonder if telling white lies can spill over into telling more serious lies. Or are white lies simply prohibited along with all lies?

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Any lie not done for a higher and greater purpose, or to prevent and not do or commit greater sin than the lie, is greater sin than the lie, etc...

Or, in other words, cause I understand that can be a bit confusing, any lie that is not done to prevent committing or taking part in a, or some kind of sin greater than the lie, is a greater sin than if you had told the truth, and taken part in that greater sin, and had not lied, etc...

But and/or because, any lie that is not told or done for only that reason only, and only that reason alone specifically, is a just a very old plain (probably selfish) sinful old lie, etc...

God Bless!

 

[Neogaia777]

Any lie not done for a higher and greater purpose, or to prevent and not do or commit greater sin than the lie, is greater sin than the lie, etc...

Or, in other words, cause I understand that can be a bit confusing, any lie that is not done to prevent committing or taking part in a, or some kind of sin greater than the lie, is a greater sin than if you had told the truth, and taken part in that greater sin, and had not lied, etc...

But and/or because, any lie that is not told or done for only that reason only, and only that reason alone specifically, is a just a very old plain (probably selfish) sinful old lie, etc...

God Bless!

This is where wisdom/cunning will come into play when you are living under a very wicked, sinful, or extremely oppressive, kingdom, or rule, or system of government, etc, or just a lot of very bad, evil, and wicked sinful people/culture in general, that might be doing some very, very bad things in general maybe, etc...

In order to not take part in it/them, or be involved in any part of it/them, it might sometimes be necessary to lie to them, etc... But it must be for a higher moral reason or purpose, and also not just for yourself, or just only to protect just you yourself and yourself only, etc, but maybe some or many (what you might deem to be better, or more righteous) (or else more innocent/pure, etc) (need to be protected/preserved) "others" maybe, etc...

So this might be for the future, etc, and possibly the very near future maybe, etc...

God Bless!

 

[Hmm]

This is where wisdom/cunning will come into play when you are living under a very wicked, sinful, or extremely oppressive, kingdom, or rule, or system of government, etc, or just a lot of very bad, evil, and wicked sinful people/culture in general, that might be doing some very, very bad things in general maybe, etc...

In order to not take part in it/them, or be involved in any part of it/them, it might sometimes be necessary to lie to them, etc... But it must be for a higher moral reason or purpose, and also not just for yourself, or just only to protect just you yourself and yourself only, etc, but maybe some or many (what you might deem to be better, or more righteous) (or else more innocent/pure, etc) (need to be protected/preserved) "others" maybe, etc...

So this might be for the future, etc, and possibly the very near future maybe, etc...

God Bless!

Do you mean as in the example of Nazis in WW2 knocking on your door asking if you are hiding any Jews and you saying "No" when you are?

I would lie in those circumstances if l had the courage to. I'm not sure it would be a white lie though because there's a lot more involved than simply not hurting someone's feelings.

 

[Neogaia777]

Do you mean as in the example of Nazis in WW2 knocking on your door asking if you are hiding any Jews and you saying "No" when you are?

I would lie in those circumstances if l had the courage to. I'm not sure it would be a white lie though because there's a lot more involved than simply not hurting someone's feelings.

I was talking more about lies and lying in general, but yeah, lying to the Nazi's in WWII, also Rahab in the OT, was some examples that I was maybe thinking of, etc...?

God Bless!

 

[Hazelelponi]

Do you mean as in the example of Nazis in WW2 knocking on your door asking if you are hiding any Jews and you saying "No" when you are?

I would lie in those circumstances if l had the courage to. I'm not sure it would be a white lie though because there's a lot more involved than simply not hurting someone's feelings.

I think that example is an exception...

However, think about it. When our soldiers are captured in war and are tortured for information they are trained not to lie, but to repeat name rank and serial number in answer to every question or simply say nothing because it's too easy to get tripped up in a lie.

Lying has a very very narrow and limited use, in very rare sets of circumstances... while on the other hand, most people cant make it a day without lying about something.

 

[Hmm]

I think that example is an exception... Lying has a very very narrow and limited use, in very rare sets of circumstances.

I agree. That example isn't a white lie but in a different category that seems even more justifiable.

 

[Mountainmike]

You could try the ' thomas more' approach to having to give a verdict ' I do like your (hair, music, clothes..whatever is asked about) but it is widely known my taste is deplorable!

Or dont ask me, my taste is appalling!

As to the serious question, taste is a very personal thing so when speaking of visual appeal, an answer even if not entirely honest, provided 1/ given for no self advantage 2/ on a subject that is subjective provided 3/ to make someone else feel good is to me not an issue. Motive matters.

 

[Dpca10112]

When in doubt, Jesus’ example can always be used.
“He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth.” Isaiah 53:7

The Bible says,

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” Exodus 20:16 (NKJV)

“But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” Revelation 21:4

“Bear False Witness- To lie about or misrepresent the truth about some event, person, or thing. In common usage, it usually refers to perjury (telling a lie while under oath in a court of law) or to the Ninth Commandment in the Bible, from which the phrase is taken: "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."Even if it is a small lie and seems harmless, if you bear false witness under oath, you may endup going to jail yourself.” See bear false witness

There are many other Bible Verses that speak against lying, false report, false witness. For example:

“You shall not circulate a false report. Do not put your hand with wicked to be an unrighteous witness.” Exodus 23:1

“He who speaks truth declares righteousness, But a false witness, deceit.” Proverbs 12:17

“A faithful witness does not lie, But a false witness will utter lies.” Proverbs 14:5

“These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.” Proverbs 16:19

“A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who speaks lies will not escape.” Proverbs 19:5

“A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who speaks lies shall perish.” Proverbs 19:9

“A false witness shall perish, But the man who hears him will speak endlessly.” Proverbs 21:28

“A man who bears false witness against his neighbor Is like a club, a sword, and a sharp arrow.” Proverbs 25:18

“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” Matthew 15:19

“He said to Him, “Which ones?” Jesus said, “‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’” Matthew 19:18

“You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ ” Mark 10:19

“You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ ” Luke 18:20

“For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear falsewitness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Romans 13:9

 

[Noxot]

brother curtis from offthelefteye on youtube made a short video somewhat concerning this threads topic. wow, he gave some pretty good answers for what exactly is truth. he basically said that the truth is that a person is beautiful. that we would think someone does not look good is in some way a lie from hell. goodness and truth can't be separated. I know that my attitude concerning this topic could be utilized in a hateful manner if i'm not careful but I think there is enough room for different personalities to interact in good but different ways. I think that intention matters a lot.

 

[public hermit]

brother curtis from offthelefteye on youtube made a short video somewhat concerning this threads topic. wow, he gave some pretty good answers for what exactly is truth. he basically said that the truth is that a person is beautiful. that we would think someone does not look good is in some way a lie from hell. goodness and truth can't be separated. I know that my attitude concerning this topic could be utilized in a hateful manner if i'm not careful but I think there is enough room for different personalities to interact in good but different ways. I think that intention matters a lot.

That's a nice way to capture the classical: the good, the true, and the beautiful.

 

[pescador]

There is no such thing as a "white lie". Something is either true or it's not.

Of course, there are idioms that are exaggerations, such as "it's cold as hell" or "it's raining cats and dogs" but those are spoken for effect; they aren't meant to deceive.

 

[Hmm]

they aren't meant to deceive.

I read an article on this which defined a lie as "an intentional falsehood that violates someone’s right to know the truth." It argued that there are cases in which people forfeit their right to know the truth and so in these cases deception is ethically permissible.

It looked at two cases from the Bible to support this view which I've quoted below. I think it's interesting at least.

"1. Pharaoh’s demand that the Hebrew midwives kill all newborn male babies (Exod. 1:17–21).

When asked by Pharaoh why they didn’t obey his command, the midwives tell him it’s because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before a midwife can arrive. God appears to issue his verdict on their behavior: he “dealt well with the midwives” and “gave them families” (vv. 20–21).

The midwives deliberately deceived Pharaoh—and God appears to reward them for it.

2. Rahab the prostitute, who tells a falsehood to protect the Israelite spies (Josh. 2:1–7; cf. Heb. 11:31).

James 2:25 appeals to Rahab as an illustration of how good works flow from genuine, saving faith: “And in the same way was not also Rahab the prostitute justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way?” Rahab communicated a falsehood to protect the spies—and is apparently applauded for it. And note that Joshua sent spies into the land, whose purpose was to deceive and undermine the enemy in order to gather information the enemy hopes to conceal. God had spies working for him in the Old Testament."