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Featured Do White Lies Matter?

Discussion in 'General Theology' started by Hmm, Feb 23, 2021.

  1. Hmm

    Hmm Rapture Threat Level: ORANGE

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    Okay the title is a joke (and I hope it's non-offensive) but I think it's something we've probably all had to form a view on.

    The definition of a white lie by Merriam-Webster is "a lie about a small or unimportant matter that someone tells to avoid hurting another."

    Colossians 3:9 says "Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices."

    So what should we say if someone asks us something like "Do you like my new haircut?" which may not be a big thing in itself usually but still the person will probably feel hurt if we say that we don't?
    Or should we pretend to like a present that someone gives us that we don't really like or should we be honest and just burst into tears or tell them to consult us first next time?

    I tell a white lies quite easily but I'm aware that I also tell small lies just to make life easy sometimes so I wonder if telling white lies can spill over into telling more serious lies. Or are white lies simply prohibited along with all lies?

    Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
     
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  2. alllivesmatter

    alllivesmatter EL ROI

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    Somethings you just have to. Am I beautiful? Someone who is dying and doesn't want to hear the truth, needs that little hope.
    Am I ugly? Am I fat? There are many. Somethings are just too hurtful to tell the truth and it depends on what you think the person wants to hear in a dire situation.
    I do believe the more you lie the more you lie. The easier it becomes so I am glad I very seldom have the need.
     
  3. .Mikha'el.

    .Mikha'el. Young Fogie Staff Member Supervisor Supporter

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    I take no issue with "white lies". They are necessary, sometimes, to keep peace and maintain a civil society in my opinion. I understand the references you made to lying in Scripture to refer to habitual or malicious lying, and that's not what white lies are.
     
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  4. Hmm

    Hmm Rapture Threat Level: ORANGE

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    Yes, it is hard to see how society can function without them. It would be very hard just to have an everyday conversation with someone. We often need reassurance and comforting remarks.
     
  5. Hmm

    Hmm Rapture Threat Level: ORANGE

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    I had to laugh when I saw your member name against this thread title!
     
  6. Noxot

    Noxot lone coyote Supporter

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    I prefer the truth though I should not be hateful or malicious. I don't have time for tiptoeing around an issue, for relations based on nothingness, for constant attempts at mind reading, or for being surrounded by and dominated by my enemies. free dialogue is important for growth and understanding. I don't want to be with people that hate the truth so much that they will cancel anything that they think is a threat to themselves. people love white lies because they can't handle reality. I want to be me, not a false image that someone else desires.
     
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  7. Noxot

    Noxot lone coyote Supporter

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    when I tell someone that I liked the food they made, I mean it and when I said I don't like it I mean it. I have seen a few episodes of nightmare kitchen and it is egoistic pride and stupidity that has a person thinking they make the best food in the world and nothing is wrong.

    those who do not want their family members to improve their cooking are doomed to forever eat subpar food. I am doomed to never improve if I am constantly lied to about the quality of my food.
     
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  8. Hmm

    Hmm Rapture Threat Level: ORANGE

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    But what would you say in a situation like that described in the OP where someone asks you if you like their new haircut and you don't, especially if they are very happy with it?
     
  9. Noxot

    Noxot lone coyote Supporter

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    if I liked it I would tell them such.

    if I did not like it I would tell them such and then maybe tell them that if they like it then they should stick with it and who cares what I think if they themselves like it.
     
  10. Hmm

    Hmm Rapture Threat Level: ORANGE

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    Fair enough. How important would you say the Bible's injunction against lying is in you coming to this view?
     
  11. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I had to get rid of a conspiracy theorist neighbor today. He does this often, he will not listen to reason, and goes on and on how they are out to get him. So I told him I had to get some sleep because my sleeping hours are all messed up, and I do that often with him.

    Not positive what God thinks of that but I don't feel particularly bad for doing it, if that's any indication.
     
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  12. jacks

    jacks Er Victus Supporter

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    Being polite is not lying.
     
  13. Noxot

    Noxot lone coyote Supporter

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    what the bible says is very important. what a lie is at a deeper level is to lie against God who is the Truth and it is to be against your divine ideal that God knows us as.

    telling the truth to someone is a sign that you are with people who love you and who you trust enough to be vulnerable with. it can be very difficult at times, we should try to be skillful in how we communicate the truth. I don't like lying in general. I would mostly do it to try to protect myself from people that don't have my best interest in mind.

    sometimes being told the truth sucks and it's hard for someone to fully explain to another the situation but I know in those instances that my loved ones confronted me because they care about me. if I can I would prefer to say nothing than to lie. extreme shame is something else that could get me to lie but if that is the case i'm probably already in a battle of fighting with the extreme shame so in some way I would not be lying since that which causes me shame is not what I want to be.
     
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  14. alllivesmatter

    alllivesmatter EL ROI

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    Sounds pretty cold to me:) We live and learn. Hopefully
     
  15. Noxot

    Noxot lone coyote Supporter

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    I don't approve of false relations but most people are fine with them. you will never resolve anything with your constant acceptance of him speaking gibberish and you delaying it over and over. maybe one day he will see through your lies and see that you don't really like him.
     
  16. Noxot

    Noxot lone coyote Supporter

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    some people want an appearance of the good rather than the actual good. it's called play acting and whitewashing.
     
  17. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I guess I'm a baaad man. :)

    No worries, I got this.
     
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  18. Noxot

    Noxot lone coyote Supporter

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    good luck lol
     
  19. alllivesmatter

    alllivesmatter EL ROI

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    Some people are rigid and don't care if they hurt
     
  20. alllivesmatter

    alllivesmatter EL ROI

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    I would just say it looks nice because it may not be pretty but you can find something nice about it mostly.
     
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