Do most millennials spend their time alone?

[silver_belle]

Unfortunately, yes. I have social anxiety, otherwise I would go meet more people. Now I'm just growing my friend circles online and at church. I wish more people would reach out, honestly, because even though I have "friends" it doesn't feel like I have friends... or at least not many.

 

[RDKirk]

Yeah. I haven't made friendships at work, and I have not kept in contact with college friends other than social media. No one ever wants to invite me places. I feel like there is something wrong with me. Maybe it's just my anxiety and I am overreacting.

Invite them.

 

[RDKirk]

100% true. When I was a young adult, the Boomer adults expected us to know what we wanted to do with our lives, we were expected to go to college (if you didn't you would end up a loser), and you better be making good money when you graduate college. That didn't happen.And also, we were told that we would meet our future spouses at college. That didn't happen either. So I ended up single with a college degree and several lousy, low-paying jobs.

The world changed drastically in the early 2000s. Maybe it had already changed and we just didn't see it until 2008.

Those of us Boomers who had children graduating college about that time saw it. And those who got laid off in their 50s about that time saw it. But a lot of Boomers are still pretending the world didn't change and all those old rules no longer apply.

But people are still pretty much people. The rules of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" still work.

 

[Trophonius]

Yes.
Not completely by choice, I'd like to have a few close friends, not acquaintances but a few people to bond deeply. But socializing is hard for me, in part because of social anxiety, in part for undeveloped social skills that are a product of the latter, and there is some underlying trauma that I think makes me overall rather unpleasant company.

There has been very few people with whom I've felt close, this because we were in similar circumstances and affected by similar personalities, but we've lost contact over the years.

It's not clear to me what I should do to have a social life, and the myriad of social interactions that for other people are as natural as breathing seem to me a complex puzzle to be solved.

 

[RileyG]

Where I live, my only support is my immediate family.

 

[RileyG]

Invite them.

I went out with some friends from my now former workplace. IT's been fun.

 

[Plenipotent]

Maybe I am an outlier, but I don't think so.

I read this and had a chuckle. I have a friend with the last name Dunbar and he's exactly the same way.

I'm in an odd spot where I seem very extroverted to everyone, but I'm not. I just want to help everyone and I care very deeply about the people in my lives so I sacrifice my peace for them.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I don't know I've noticed that in school like high school and college it was easy to meet friends. Now after school everyone that I was close to moved away and now I only have like 1 close friend and some cousins and even then that equates to once a week talking to my friend. JESUS is my only closest friend and then I go onto CF and sometimes walk with my Mom.


I'm 31 and the older I get the less and less people I seem to have in my close enclosure of friends.

Not sure why that is, I feel like I’m introverted maybe that's why but also I would love to have some more like 1 or 2 close friends I could do everything with. I often fantasize about having a clone of myself that I could spend time with and be friends with lol

 

[Going_Nowhere]

I'm alone most of the time and wouldn't want it any other way.

 

[RDKirk]

Depends on the situation. I had no problem making fast friends in the military, even when moved frequently. I still correspond with people I originally knew for only a few years 50 years ago, and we still get together whenever possible, and I wasn't unique at all.

I think it was a matter of two things happening: One, being in a situation that put us "through some things" together and, two, that being a situation in which we were not in any way competing with each other, but needed each other's full cooperation to overcome the common obstacle. That combination results in long friendships.

 

[Sir Robbins]

I spend much of my downtime alone. I do go to cigar shops though to enjoy cigars and great views. I am not personable with people in those environments and really, no one else is either. I just deal with loneliness a lot failing to meet anyone that I really click with. Everything is just on the surface with those I know and I am content with that but I do often feel better being by myself.

 

[Owlette]

I feel like the quality of social interactions have decreased over time, but it also can depend on your family, their connections, their social habits, and your personality. If you have an introverted personality, and your family is pretty introverted, it makes it hard to break out of that “lifestyle”. At least for me, it does.

I’m pretty introverted. I like my alone time, and I honestly don’t have many friends. I have tons of acquaintances, and some coworkers I hang out with from time to time. Most of my social life is centered around my husband and our families. It’s hard. sometimes I don’t feel like I “click” with people. Or I feel like I don’t keep up with people’s expectations for a friendship. I get drained kind of easily, and sometimes I’m scared of getting close to people. I constantly worry that I’ll say something wrong and they’ll cut me off, or I won’t keep in touch as often as they need. I feel like I’m a terrible friendship candidate, lol.

 

[silver_belle]

I feel like the quality of social interactions have decreased over time, but it also can depend on your family, their connections, their social habits, and your personality. If you have an introverted personality, and your family is pretty introverted, it makes it hard to break out of that “lifestyle”. At least for me, it does.

I’m pretty introverted. I like my alone time, and I honestly don’t have many friends. I have tons of acquaintances, and some coworkers I hang out with from time to time. Most of my social life is centered around my husband and our families. It’s hard. sometimes I don’t feel like I “click” with people. Or I feel like I don’t keep up with people’s expectations for a friendship. I get drained kind of easily, and sometimes I’m scared of getting close to people. I constantly worry that I’ll say something wrong and they’ll cut me off, or I won’t keep in touch as often as they need. I feel like I’m a terrible friendship candidate, lol.

I feel this. I've really had to go out of my comfort zone again and again. After time, I've gotten better at identifying the types of people I want to stay connected with. Having a few good friends is so valuable in life.

 

[Owlette]

I feel this. I've really had to go out of my comfort zone again and again. After time, I've gotten better at identifying the types of people I want to stay connected with. Having a few good friends is so valuable in life.

Glad someone can relate. I’ve put myself out there to make friends, but I don’t think I’ve been good at identifying the type of people to be friends with. That’s a really good point.