Divorced..and feel a calling to pastor

[TheReasoner]

So...You sinned, and want to serve the Lord?

What's stopping you? We know God forgives our sins. Sadly though, humans do not always follow God's example. As far as marriage is concerned I kind of understand it, as Paul says whoever is living in adultery will not inherit the kingdom of God (1. Corinthians 6:9-11)... Ofcourse, this is a deep theological debate I will not go into now. But it alone makes me want to study theology. What is meant by it?

Anyway... We are all sinners. We all fall short of God's grace. none of us can buy our own ticket in to heaven. We cannot follow the law, so we need the mercy of Christ. That is as true for a pastor as it is for everyone else.
So you're divorced... Serve Him anyway. I bet it'll be harder to become a pastor in many congregations, but... Try. If God has called you, He will find a way. Trust Him and follow Him.

 

[dwhitaker]

I appreciate the words of faithguardian, "Trust Him and follow Him". It is really the heart of the matter of determining what God would have any of us do.

I encourage anyone to stand tall, love others, and serve God, share the gospel, minister to the hurting until Christ comes...whether you have been divorced, or sinned a great sin in your past, or whoever you are and whatever your situation is...just trust the Lord and obey Him!

David Whitaker, PhD

 

[bellantara]

Dr. Charles Stanley here in Atlanta is divorced. Of course, he was already a pastor.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Dr. Charles Stanley here in Atlanta is divorced. Of course, he was already a pastor.

I just HAD to google that, thanks for the scoop. He's always on the radio when I go home. His wife gave him the boot! I wonder if they are still married in God's eyes.

 

[dwhitaker]

I just HAD to google that, thanks for the scoop. He's always on the radio when I go home. His wife gave him the boot! I wonder if they are still married in God's eyes.

Charles Stanley is a positive example of a divorced pastor. What is important to note about his sad situation, is though Dr. Stanley's wife left him, and there has never been any unfaithfulness on his part, many Christians have labeled him as unfit for ministry because tradition says that a man who has been divorced is not qualified for the ministry. I have great respect for Charles Stanley, and admire him for standing his ground and being obedient to God, staying in his pulpit at First Baptist Church, Atlanta.

Let the gainsayers speak...it is contrary to the voice of Scripture. 1 Timothy 3:2 does not prohibit a man from ministry because of divorce. This traditional view is forced upon the Scripture.

Thanks Dr. Stanley for your example!

Dr. David Whitaker,

 

[dwhitaker]

Does anyone have any stories about how God has restored someone who has fallen to a sin, and is now serving God?
I know that sharing what God has done in the lives of others, often helps us in our particular situation.
David Whitaker, PhD
Author, Full Restoration: Rethinking Issues Concerning Divorced Pastors

 

[dwhitaker]

My prayers are going out to the man who said that he is in youth ministry, and has been divorced. God will use you mightily if you continue to trust Him. God looks at the heart, while man looks at the outer appearance. God forgives and forgets, man, typically, does not. Remember that as far as the east is from the west our transgressions are removed from us in Christ. Christ's death covers sins past, present and future.
I hope every person who has sinned in their past realize God's grace. After we have confessed, and seek Him, He continues to use us as He did before...as if we had never sinned. Don't let anyone tell you your past sin(s) limit your service for Him in the present and future. The Bible does not teach this-it teaches full restoration!

David Whitaker

 

[dwhitaker]

My prayers are going out to the man who said that he is in youth ministry, and has been divorced. God will use you mightily if you continue to trust Him. God looks at the heart, while man looks at the outer appearance. God forgives and forgets, man, typically, does not. Remember that as far as the east is from the west our transgressions are removed from us in Christ. Christ's death covers sins past, present and future.
I hope every person who has sinned in their past realize God's grace. After we have confessed, and seek Him, He continues to use us as He did before...as if we had never sinned. Don't let anyone tell you your past sin(s) limit your service for Him in the present and future. The Bible does not teach this-it teaches full restoration!

David Whitaker

Some today may be taken a back by emphasis upon divorced pastors receiving restoration, especially if they see this emphasis as downplaying the importance of marriage. In Full Restoration, I explain that it the one who upholds the biblical position of marriage and sees divorce as a sin in our society, that is one who is fully restored. A person who is restored by God for past acts of sin, will also be one who steers others away from sin. Their testimony is that of warning others to not go down the same path that he or she has taken. God uses that kind of testimony. I am not saying that we have to sin to be a good testimony, but oftentimes God uses those who have sinned to testify of His grace and mercy and of His power in their lives.

It is wrong for us to assume, that one who is forgiven for a sin in the past, will promote that sin by visibly serving God. This is wrong thinking. We should not think that because a man has divorced, and has been restored to ministry that he is somehow weakening the testimony of the church. If anything, he is showing the strength of the church to restore, forgive, act as a refuge for the hurting and reflect the power and grace of Jesus Christ.

I thank all who realize this and understand it. To those who cannot accept this, I feel quite sorry for. Legalism has you around the neck and you are bound. May God by His Spirit set these free!

With love,
David Whitaker, Phd

 

[Christina M]

I will share that you rarely hear of Pre-marital Relations Pastors, or Felon Pastors, or Bad Attitude Pastors...you assign the sin a pastor has committed. The point I am trying to make is that any forgiven in the past makes a man fully restored.

God forgives, but people don't :o

I was in one church where an ex-felon, an ex-heroin addict and an ex-prostitute were all considered "redeemed of the Lord" and fit for ministry.......... but God forbid, the man whose wife had committed adultery, abandoned him and forced a divorce, was not 'allowed' to minister. Another man was once married and divorced before getting saved. He, too, was not allowed to be an associate pastor because of his "prior life" horrendous sin. Gimme a break.

People are so falsely pious........ and self-righteous. Man-made rules, based on arrogant opinions, are loathesome.

 

[Christina M]

Let the gainsayers speak...it is contrary to the voice of Scripture.

More of us need to STOP listening to other people, and only listen to God! It is difficult, for sure, with so many self-righteous & man-made regulations attempting to bind us, but it CAN be done!

God will open the doors for those of us who are so black-balled in the eyes of "some" men.

 

[rocklife]

but God forgive us of our sins? I think he does. Amen. That's the End of this little discussion

replying to post #9, so you say its okay to continue in sinful ways because "god forgives everything?" a serial killer can go on killing because jesus forgives everything? that isn't how the christian life works.

 

[rocklife]

God forgives, but people don't :o

I was in one church where an ex-felon, an ex-heroin addict and an ex-prostitute were all considered "redeemed of the Lord" and fit for ministry.......... but God forbid, the man whose wife had committed adultery, abandoned him and forced a divorce, was not 'allowed' to minister. Another man was once married and divorced before getting saved. He, too, was not allowed to be an associate pastor because of his "prior life" horrendous sin. Gimme a break.

People are so falsely pious........ and self-righteous. Man-made rules, based on arrogant opinions, are loathesome.

you have a good point here. I believe the bible mentions that only those with spotless reputations are to be in church leadership positions. The rest can be laypeople, common servants of God. Jesus says the greatest will be servant of all, we don't have to be paid church people to be in His work.

I do believe that even the most evil sinner who repents can be exalted and put in high position of God, but it will be by God's hand, not man's. The apostle Paul was exalted, but he proved himself by not even taking money for mission work, and he went to prison and was beaten several times as part of his testimony to Jesus. If we put ourselves in this kind of work, surely God will exalt us, we won't have to do it ourselves.

 

[dwhitaker]

More of us need to STOP listening to other people, and only listen to God! It is difficult, for sure, with so many self-righteous & man-made regulations attempting to bind us, but it CAN be done!

God will open the doors for those of us who are so black-balled in the eyes of "some" men.

Christina M. and Rocklife-
Praise the Lord! Your comments are refreshing! You are soooo right on!
David Whitaker

 

[dwhitaker]

Christina M.and Rocklife
Praise the Lord! Your comments are refreshing! You are soooo right on!
David Whitaker

I recently put an add in our local paper about a new ministry that my son, and I have begun in our area. We are excited about ministering to the hurting in our community, and believe that God is leading us to minister to them.

A person who knew about my divorce emailed me and told me how he was praying that God would prick my heart to ask others for forgiveness. I was amazed at the judgement. It has been seven years since my divorce, and few, but my family and the Lord knows the pain that I went through, wrestling the first year only to pray to God, "be merciful to me", working through guilt and seeking forgiveness of my family members, and trying to rebuild what had been destroyed by my unfaithfulness. The wonderful thing is how God showed me great grace through many people, and raised me up in a wonderful way. I personally went to my former church, attended services, and sought their forgiveness, as well as friends, family and former church members. This person who was judgemental never asked me what has happened to me over the past seven years, or seemed to even care about it, but assumes that I have not been careful to seek the Lord's restoration.

I sought counsel about this email, and was told, not to respond-that it was the kind of message you would receive from self-righteous pharisees. That counsel was right. This person didn't love me enough to ask how I was doing, and when he saw that God was doing good things in my life, he was unhappy with this and decided to verbally attack and suppress my joy. It seems as long as I was going through difficulties, he was happy, perhaps thinking I am getting what I deserved. And you know, I never thought I deserved the good things that I have received of the Lord, but that is grace...He gives us who are underving what we don't deserve. I praise Him for that. That is the message I want to share with everyone, who is going through what I did, and went through what I did. God forgives, and forgets. You are sooo right on though, people don't!
I do thank the Lord for those believers like you, who have God's Spirit and forgive just as He does! Praise the Lord!

David Whitaker

 

[Shannonkish]

My old pastort (I say old because I moved and no longer attend the church) was a divorcee. I do not believe that it disrupted his ability to shepherd our flock. He is happily married now, and expecting a baby.

I believe that it is more than possible, it does happen, that God uses people regardless of their past.

 

[Shannonkish]

you have a good point here. I believe the bible mentions that only those with spotless reputations are to be in church leadership positions. The rest can be laypeople, common servants of God. Jesus says the greatest will be servant of all, we don't have to be paid church people to be in His work.

Praise God that my old pastors have been sinners... men (and women) who loved the Lord and did what they could to please him. They were not perfect... however, someone who is spotless does nothing to minister to me, since I am not spotless.

 

[walkin2e]

How about some of these "rejects"...

Pastor Search Committee
Interim Report
​

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The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for our church leader.
​

Adam: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how his wife and he enjoy walking nude in the woods.

Noah: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.

Abraham: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem to show he never slept with another man's wife, but did offer to share his own wife with another man.

Joseph: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.

Moses: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.

David: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor's wife.

Solomon: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.

Elijah: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.

Elisha: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.

Hosea: A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife's occupation.

Deborah: Strong leader and seems to be anointed, but she is female.

Jeremiah: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.

Isaiah: On the fringe? Claims to have seen angels in church. Has trouble with his language.

Jonah: Refused God's call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.

Amos: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people--might fit in better in a poor congregation.

Melchizedek: Great credentials at current work place, but where does this guy come from? No information on his resume about former work records. Every line about parents was left blank and he refused to supply a birth date.

John: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn't dress like one. Has slept in the outdoors for months on end, has a weird diet, and provokes denominational leaders.

Peter: Too blue collar. Has a bad temper-even has been known to curse. Had a big run-in with Paul in Antioch. Aggressive, but a loose cannon.

Paul: Powerful CEO type leader and fascinating preacher. However, short on tact, unforgiving with younger ministers, harsh and has been known to preach all night.

James & John: Package deal preacher & associate seemed good at first, but found out they have an ego problem regarding other fellow workers and seating positions. Threatened an entire town after an insult. Also known to try to discourage workers who didn't follow along with them.

Timothy: Too young!

Methuselah: Too old . . . WAY too old!

Jesus: Has had popular times, but once his church grew to 5000 he managed to offend them all, and then this church dwindled down to twelve people. Seldom stays in one place very long. And, of course, he's single.

Judas: His references are solid. A steady plodder. Conservative. Good connections. Knows how to handle money. We're inviting him to preach this Sunday. Possibilities here.
​

[Author unknown, from
walkin2e​

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[Christina M]

Praise God that my old pastors have been sinners... men (and women) who loved the Lord and did what they could to please him. They were not perfect... however, someone who is spotless does nothing to minister to me, since I am not spotless.
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Very good point, Shannon! One pastor we had was so squeaky clean it was hard for him to relate to people......everything shocked him. He used to brag that he had never smoked, never chewed, and didn't go out with girls who do... and how "never a drop of alcohol has touched my lips"....... sheeeesh...it doesn't make it very welcoming for the poor guy in the pews struggling with alcohol and lust to make an appt to go see pastor!

Not to say everyone has to have done through terrible sin to serve.... but sometimes, knowing the pastor is human, or has gone through some trials, makes it more easy to relate.

 

[dwhitaker]

I appreciate the good information you are sharing! If we put every person to the same litmus test that the divorced are given, no one would be serving Christ!

Grace and Peace
David Whitaker

 

[dwhitaker]

Walkin2E,
I would have loved to have had the Pastor Interim Search Committe Report for my book, Full Restoration! It makes a great point that absolutely no one is free from sin, and therefore has earned the right to serve Christ-it is all by His grace!
Thanks
David Whitaker