Divorce

[PreachersWife2004]

All women have a way out of abusive relationships. It's not 1812 anymore; women need only to do one thing to get out of an abusive relationship. Leave.

That is SO inspirational, I think I'll tell all the ladies at our next session to let their friends know that all they have to do is LEAVE! Then all their troubles will just be gone in the wind!!

Dude, have a little sensitivity. Many women are trying to work up to leave...some are killed in the process. My own ex tried to kill me when I was in the process of filing the protection order - he cut the brake lines on my car.

Leaving is not as simple as you try to make it.

Divorce is Satan's way of getting people to commit adultery by remarrying.

Whatev. My one and only comment to you in this thread will be this: your gospel that you preach is deadly and I hope every woman and man who hears it IGNORES it.

 

[mpok1519]

If a woman is in an abusive relationship, she should have absolutely zero tolerance if she has any self respect. The moment the man hits a woman is the moment the relationship should end.

This is why:

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered. Proverbs 28:26

There is way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 15:12

It might not mean death for the woman, but for the soul of the man who was not prayed for, it could mean eternal hell fire. So we must walk in wisdom.

And where can you find it?

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5

And WHY must we go to God first before acting? Because His word says:

IN ALL THY WAYS acknowledge him (God), and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6

God made it clear that we should not acknowledge Him in SOME of our ways, but ALL of our ways. You can read in the word what happened to those who chose NOT to acknowledge God in all their ways. They ended up in unfavorable situations.

Seek first the Kingdom of heaven and His righteousness and all else (the answer to what you are going through) will be added unto you!

 

[Jade Margery]

If a woman is in an abusive relationship, she should have absolutely zero tolerance if aw has any self respect. The moment the man hits a woman is the moment the relationship should end.

There are many, many reasons why a person might stay in an abusive relationship.... including not having self respect or self esteem, which doesn't mean they deserve the situation they are in. And it does go both ways--plenty of guys I know have been in relationships with girls who were horrible to them and did nothing about it. Some people were abused as children and think it's normal, or don't believe they deserve better, or believe it will get better if they just hang in there, or fear for their safety or that of their children, or feel like they depend too much on their abuser for things like food and shelter, etc. etc. etc.

Something odd I learned in my psychology classes was that people like to spend time with other people who reaffirm their view of themselves. We all have a picture of who we are in our heads, and when others treat us in ways that contradict that picture, it messes with our sense of self. Confident people seek out people who make them feel more confident, happy people look for people who encourage happiness. People with low opinions of themselves find others who confirm they they are lowly. It's a vicious cycle, if you'll excuse the cliche. Of course that is not always the case, just another factor that contributes to the problems of abuse.

It's so, so easy to be outside a problem and say 'why don't you just do this?' but there's always more going on beneath the surface. Things are the way they are for a reason, and if you can't fix that reason the problem isn't going to change.

 

[Verv]

There are people who leave their abusive spouses without divorcing them.

Leaving and divorcing do not have to be one in the same.

 

[clep]

There are people who leave their abusive spouses without divorcing them.

Leaving and divorcing do not have to be one in the same.

Can you give me one good reason why someone would want to stay legally married to someone who is abusive?

They don't have to be the same, but I can't think of any person that would want to be joined with another legally after leaving an abusive situation.

 

[Steffenfield]

My wife decided to end our 7 year marriage stating she felt trapped and wanted the house to herself.

I would give everything I have (except my clothes, hair products and blow dryer) to be with her again.

I so wish someone would talk scripture with her.

I would try it myself but it's been over three months now since I've last talked to her and I don't know what to say without her thinking that I'm being manipulative.

I think she's in love with a nurse I know.

She's also against counseling because she doesn't see the point to it.

At first, I thought she just needed some time by herself. I had no idea it would actually go this far.

Now, all I want is for her to find salavation through Christ.

 

[mpok1519]

Only if you count a woman hitting a man not abuse, which many do. The standard for what counts as abuse is completely different, and a man who is physically abused by his wife is nothing but laughing stock. If you get beat up, you don't report it, because to do so would do more harm than any good.

No dude; any abusive relationship is unhealthy. One is a laughing stock for taking the necessary steps to end an abusive relationship? Who is laughing? Total morons? So what if they laugh? Isn't health more impotant that that?

 

[JustMeSee]

My wife decided to end our 7 year marriage stating she felt trapped and wanted the house to herself.

I would give everything I have (except my clothes, hair products and blow dryer) to be with her again.

I so wish someone would talk scripture with her.

I would try it myself but it's been over three months now since I've last talked to her and I don't know what to say without her thinking that I'm being manipulative.

I think she's in love with a nurse I know.

She's also against counseling because she doesn't see the point to it.

At first, I thought she just needed some time by herself. I had no idea it would actually go this far.

Now, all I want is for her to find salavation through Christ.

I can imagine the pain you are going through right now. I hope that your wife comes around, and you can reconcile your marriage.

 

[Duckybill]

Whatev. My one and only comment to you in this thread will be this: your gospel that you preach is deadly and I hope every woman and man who hears it IGNORES it.

Warning against adultery is deadly? You got it backwards. Advising to commit adultery is deadly. Satan has filled churches with his ministers who are giving Satanic advice to divorce and remarry.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[Duckybill]

There are people who leave their abusive spouses without divorcing them.

Leaving and divorcing do not have to be one in the same.

Thanks for stating the obvious. Many use abuse as an excuse to divorce and remarry rather than believe God's MANY promises.

 

[Duckybill]

Can you give me one good reason why someone would want to stay legally married to someone who is abusive?

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

That's a pretty good reason.

 

[Duckybill]

My wife decided to end our 7 year marriage stating she felt trapped and wanted the house to herself.

I would give everything I have (except my clothes, hair products and blow dryer) to be with her again.

I so wish someone would talk scripture with her.

I would try it myself but it's been over three months now since I've last talked to her and I don't know what to say without her thinking that I'm being manipulative.

I think she's in love with a nurse I know.

She's also against counseling because she doesn't see the point to it.

At first, I thought she just needed some time by herself. I had no idea it would actually go this far.

Now, all I want is for her to find salavation through Christ.

Acts 16:31 (NKJV)
31 So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."

 

[KCKID]

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

That's a pretty good reason.

Duckybill, I don't agree with you personally on this issue but I DO agree that those who use the scripture above to condemn homosexuals should also be willing to use the SAME scripture to condemn themselves if it should apply. But ...they DON'T! The (biblical) facts are that those who divorce and REMARRY are guilty of scriptural adultery! And, repenting and remaining in such a relationship sorta cancels out the repenting.

* As always after my little tirade about this particular issue and scripture I wish to say that "I" personally have NO issue at all with those who divorce and remarry. What I DO have an issue with, however, is blatant hypocrisy!

 

[Jade Margery]

So, Duckybill, have you stoned any disobedient children to death lately? And I assume you've given most of your worldly goods to charity, of course.

 

[butterflyring09]

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

That's a pretty good reason.

 

[butterflyring09]

Acts 16:31 (NKJV)
31 So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."

Nice! And very true!

 

[butterflyring09]

That is SO inspirational, I think I'll tell all the ladies at our next session to let their friends know that all they have to do is LEAVE! Then all their troubles will just be gone in the wind!!

Dude, have a little sensitivity. Many women are trying to work up to leave...some are killed in the process. My own ex tried to kill me when I was in the process of filing the protection order - he cut the brake lines on my car.

Leaving is not as simple as you try to make it.



Whatev. My one and only comment to you in this thread will be this: your gospel that you preach is deadly and I hope every woman and man who hears it IGNORES it.

Preacherswife2004, I understand that what ducky says seems cold and curt, but he's simply coming from a point of scripture. Remember, faith is the enemy of feeling, so having faith in the Word of God is hardly EVER gonna feel good.

However, I know that what God has put together cannot be broken and if you DO break it then you are committing the sin of adultery.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6

Personally, I believe that God had in line for you already the husband you are married to now (I'm just using your situation as an example). But perhaps, before you could be with the person God called you to be with, God needed you to strengthen your relationship with Him through prayer and seeking out His will, getting in your Word, being surrounded by the multitude of counselors, and simply developing an even closer and more personal relationship with Christ Himself. The relationship you had with your ex- was perhaps a catalyst for that.

Perhaps the first man you married wasn't OK-ed by God, but through logical thinking and personal experiences with that person. God saw it too and allowed you (or anyone in a similar situation) to make the choice for marriage, however, He knew that you or ANYONE would pay dearly as a result of NOT seeking God's blessing before getting married.

This is not always the case with everyone. Sometimes, someone MAY marry someone who has gone to the left. However, God expects us to fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

Sometimes you may have to flee for your own personal safety. But flee to be able to be still and seek out God's will.God will not forsake a righteous person but will preserve them. Psalm 37:25, 28

All we're saying is seek the wisdom of God... because who knows what better to do in ANY situation... than the Creator Himself?

 

[butterflyring09]

My wife decided to end our 7 year marriage stating she felt trapped and wanted the house to herself.

I would give everything I have (except my clothes, hair products and blow dryer) to be with her again.

I so wish someone would talk scripture with her.

I would try it myself but it's been over three months now since I've last talked to her and I don't know what to say without her thinking that I'm being manipulative.

I think she's in love with a nurse I know.

She's also against counseling because she doesn't see the point to it.

At first, I thought she just needed some time by herself. I had no idea it would actually go this far.

Now, all I want is for her to find salavation through Christ.

Is she saved???

 

[butterflyring09]

Better to know now than to find out too late on Judgment Day.

 

[Jase]

Duckybill, I don't agree with you personally on this issue but I DO agree that those who use the scripture above to condemn homosexuals should also be willing to use the SAME scripture to condemn themselves if it should apply. But ...they DON'T! The (biblical) facts are that those who divorce and REMARRY are guilty of scriptural adultery! And, repenting and remaining in such a relationship sorta cancels out the repenting.

* As always after my little tirade about this particular issue and scripture I wish to say that "I" personally have NO issue at all with those who divorce and remarry. What I DO have an issue with, however, is blatant hypocrisy!

What I find particular interesting related to the verse ducky quoted is that the NKJV translates a different word as homosexual than the NIV or KJV lol. Minor side point, but goes to the hypocritical lack of consistency in conservative viewpoints.

As for divorce - I don't care what a verse 2000 years ago by a chauvinist says - a woman should not stay married to a wife beater.