Divorce ok, but re-marriage not?

[RollinStoned]

This doesn't apply to me, but to my mother.

I won't get too much into my story, I'll try to make it short and sweet.

My mom has recently become a more "strict" christian (IE actually trying to follow the word) and has had 2 marriages. Her first, her husband cheated on her and she got a divorce. Then she married my father.

My father stole, lied and used for years. He broke her financially for his heroin habit, and she finally made the decision to divorce him.

She's been "with" this guy Jim for somewhere around 7-9 years. They're afraid to get married for 2 reasons, one with it's basis in the word..

- afraid of what it would do to me, how i wouldn't be comfortable with a "new" dad, etc.

- bible strictly says divorce is ok under certain circumstances, but re-marriage is not acceptable.

Is re-marriage acceptable for Christians, does this matter, or does my mother have to live her life free of marriage and never get married again?

Please, she's been worried for years. I need some scripture (NT).

Thanks guys.

 

[porcupine]

1 Corinthians 7:10-11
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
(KJV)

 

[In Christ Forever]

The way I read this, she can marry or just live with the guy but not have sex with him!!! God deems marriage sacred and does this to prevent everyone from going from one person to another for the pleasure of sex only, instead of love I believe.
God did divorce 10 tribes of Israel in the OT, but promised to bring them back together, so that is one example of God Himself giving a certificate of divorce[ for adultery of course ].
Here is a link to this article and you may go to some good bible study sites [search google] and of course have her read the bible and get in a loving relationship with God as He is a forgiving God if you surrender yourself completely to Him and follow Jesus's teachings[God and Jesus always comes first in our lives]. God bless.

http://www.biblestudylessons.com/cgi-bin/gospel_way/divorce_remarriage.php
Note that anytime she has sexual relations with a man other than her scriptural mate it is adultery - as long as her first companion is living, the passage says. Whether she has just a single act of intercourse, or has an "affair" involving a number of adulterous acts over a period of time, or whether it is a second marriage to another man - in any case every time she has sexual union with another man the passage says she is guilty of adultery.
This is "adultery" because the woman is Scripturally committed to have the sexual union only with one man as long as he lives, but instead she is having it with another man. This is why it is proper to refer to the second marriage as "adulterous" or "living in adultery," just as it would be if she were living with him but not married to him (Col. 3:5-7).

 

[JohnJones]

(Mat 5:32 KJV) But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

(Mat 19:9 KJV) And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

 

[James1979]

Matthew 19 talks about God joining two people becoming one flesh and they're are not suppose to seperate. I think in verse 3 the pharisees ask Jesus if it was okay to put away your wife for every cause? Keep the verse 3 in mind. Verse 9 says that you can't divorce your wife except it be fornication. Now compare verse 3 with 9 and the fornication is part of every cause that is mentioned in verse 3. So you cannot divorce under any circumstances. The only way you can marry someone else if your current spouse dies and then you're free to marry whoever only in the Lord as this is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7:39. But if the wife does depart from her marriage, she is to remain unmarried or reconcile to her first husband (1 Corinthians 7:11) So in God's eyes she has committed adultery two times with her first husband and second husband. After she had divorce her second husband she should treat him as her first husband to remain unmarried or reconcile because if she marries this 3rd person, it's another rebellious act against God.

 

[bahgwan shando kiyando]

Single people fornicate, married people commit adultery. The verse being used has to do with the act of betrayal to someone just married. In Jewish law, the wedding sheet was hung out to prove the virginity of the woman. There could be no divorce if their was blood on the sheet. If there was not any blood present, it was proof of previous fornication and the bridegroom was not held to the marriage contract. There is no reason for divorce between Christians because forgiveness has no end. If there was a limit to forgiveness,
then we would all be in trouble and the Cross would have been limited. The problem most of us have, is what is a Christian, what is a believer. If we want to marry someone it should be a believer. All you have to do is say you went forward at camp when you were seven, and accepted Jesus, and you are in the band. Even the "demons believe and tremble" that doesn't make them part of the Christian community.
Does the Lord sanction a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever? He says not to marry one. do you suppose he looks down and says" oh well the kids got married anyway, so they'll have to work it out! In Ezra he tells them to separate and divorce their foreign wives. He never sanctioned their marriage. If an unbeliever departs or will not live at the believers level, the believer is not in bondage. I don't believe that the three men in the life of this woman were believers. Nor do I think she is, she just thinks she is ! She married unbelievers, and she did not understand what her forgiveness from the Lord meant. She must have enjoyed the company of unbelievers to marry them! This should have been a warning sign to her that she was in contradiction with Scripture !Too many Pastors today marry anyone and call it an act of God. Just because you live in a garage does not make you a Buick. Just because you call yourself a Christian does not make you one. Why the Lord ever bothered with me, I do not know. But, I know that he died for me and knows that I despair of my sins. He alone is my hope. Even if I was guilty of divorce and remarriage, I also know that if I confess my sin to him he will forgive me, and lead me on the path I should take. The woman in question at the beginning of this thread should go the the Lord with this matter. He will be faithful and just, and no stones will be thrown.

 

[bkg]

This is a wonderful topic, and it has the potential to get pretty emotional. Just to set the stage: I am divorced. I am standing.

Now... If you notice the verses that discuss divorce, they all "seem" to be addressed to the person seeking to separate from his/her spouse. There doesn't seem to be a specific address to those who were divorced... those who did not want the divorce. With perhaps, the one exception of "let the unbeliever leave", but that assumes that the person leaving is not a Christian.

What does a person say to that?

Is there ANY chance of restoration for your Mom's marriage? Not sure which one would/should be restored, but is it at all something that might be explored?

 

[The_White]

Take context in consideration, at that time a man could legaly divorce his wife for any reason ranging from adaultery to burt toast to 'the chick down the street is hotter than you'. These days divorce laws are a lot stricter than that. Those commands were quite possibly meant to curb that.
I thik that given the situation described here it is fine and the more pressing concern is the first one you mentioned (wether or not you would be OK with a new dad) and in that case they should just ask you and you should answer truthfully.

Also note my old minister was divorced and remarried (I think his wife left him for another man, but I am not sure) so this is part of how I came to that conclusion.

 

[Colossians]

Looking over the posts there appears to be the usual legalism prevalent.

A Christian is not under any law except the law of love. A Christian is therefore called upon to act according to love.

If a Christian lacks love, that is no excuse for divorcing. Having said that, it is nevertheless a fact that there are many young-in-the-Lord Christians out there who understand very little except "Jesus died for my sin".
Such Christians will commonly not feel constrained to 'stick it out' with what they feel is someone who is not treating them like Jesus treats them. They will often divorce such people, and remarry.

This activity is not right, but the Christian who engages in such is nevertheles not under condemnation. What do we mean here? - that they can do what they want and get away with it?
Not quite. The answer is found in 1 Cor 3:11-16, where we are told that many will be saved, yet there works burnt up at judgement.

So then, the issue is not whether the thing is right of wrong according to the law, for the law does not apply to a Christian.
The issue is whether the Christian is being fed properly in an understanding of jointly suffering with Christ, for His sake, and His glory.
Too often people centre the issue on an austere view of salvation. Salvation is not simply about getting to heaven, but about how much of what you do will survive the fire of the judgement of heaven.

But it can be expressed more concisely: "Jesus". Anything else is simply legalism dressed up as life.

 

[oldrooster]

Looking over the posts there appears to be the usual legalism prevalent.

A Christian is not under any law except the law of love. A Christian is therefore called upon to act according to love.

If a Christian lacks love, that is no excuse for divorcing. Having said that, it is nevertheless a fact that there are many young-in-the-Lord Christians out there who understand very little except "Jesus died for my sin".
Such Christians will commonly not feel constrained to 'stick it out' with what they feel is someone who is not treating them like Jesus treats them. They will often divorce such people, and remarry.

This activity is not right, but the Christian who engages in such is nevertheles not under condemnation. What do we mean here? - that they can do what they want and get away with it?
Not quite. The answer is found in 1 Cor 3:11-16, where we are told that many will be saved, yet there works burnt up at judgement.

So then, the issue is not whether the thing is right of wrong according to the law, for the law does not apply to a Christian.
The issue is whether the Christian is being fed properly in an understanding of jointly suffering with Christ, for His sake, and His glory.
Too often people centre the issue on an austere view of salvation. Salvation is not simply about getting to heaven, but about how much of what you do will survive the fire of the judgement of heaven.

But it can be expressed more concisely: "Jesus". Anything else is simply legalism dressed up as life.

Amen to you.....

 

[Daedalus]

Divorce & stuff is bad for a christian, but in your mother's case it's better if she re-marries.
The "don't re-marry" stuff applies for someone who divorced and didn't have sex ever after.
It would be so stupid to be with someone all your life and not marry him/her.
So your mother shoud eighter not be with someone her whole life or marry the person she is with.

 

[bkg]

The "don't re-marry" stuff applies for someone who divorced and didn't have sex ever after.

Could you please site a source for that definition?