Discouraging

[Linnis]

There are six women at church, due in the fall like me. Speaking with them today I said I was going to try breastfeeding and hopefully it may work. I've had surgery on one of my breasts so we're not sure if it'll work at this point. One of the girls, 19, has a year old pregnant with # 2 told me how disgusting she found it and told me she thinks I should go out to the car to protect everyone else from my "bodily funtion". She went on about I may have the right but what about everyone's right to not have to see it and how EVERYONE else was really uncomfortable with it. She made it sound like I was asking to take a pee in the sancuary or something. Another, also pregnant with number two suggested I go to the bathroom and says she could never breastfeed the idea is disgusting but I could stand in the bathroom and feed the baby.

Only one woman suggested the room they use to let the small children sleep, as it's quite and nobody but nursery staff and parents go in there. I think I could handle that, don't know how brave I'd be to nurse in a more open area until I get used to doing it.

I wonder the next time their eating if I should tell them to go to the bathroom or the car to do it. Or the parking lot since I walk to church.

 

[newcreature]

How YOU choose to breastfeed is your decision. Where YOU choose to bf is also at your discretion(sp?).

I think you will do just fine.

To the last comment you made, I think you should! LOL

 

[Athene]

Feeling . . .. . rage . . . . . . . building . . .. . . .10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1, . . caaalllllmmmm

Sadly if you want to breastfeed this attitude is very common, breastfeeding is seen as disgusting, animal like and one person seriously informed me . . . un-natural. When I breastfed my older two (not at the same time) I had to sit in a corner at church so as not to upset anyone . . . I still resent that even now, though at that time I was considerably shyer then I am now.

Try not to be discouraged, if these people don't want to see you breastfeed they don't have to look at you. They have the right to look somewhere else .. . is there anyone in the church you could get support from other then your husband, I could imagine that if everyone in your church was anti-breastfeeding it would be quite stressful. But if there are more of you then you could band together and conquer the forces of ignorance.

Jesus would have been breastfed you know, didn't have formula 2000 years ago.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I just don't get this from Christians. Breastfeeding is God's design for feeding babies so how can it be disgusting? Was it disgusting that Jesus was breastfed? I would just say to them that I'm going to feed my baby the way God planned for us to and if they decide to go against God's plan that's their decision but to not encourage you to go against something God has clearly put forth in scripture.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

Oh, and the other thing, why do you need to "protect" other people? It's not like you'll be flashing your breasts so if they actually do end up seeing something it's because they were looking to see something! Most people who've never breastfed can't recognize a mother who's breastfeeding her baby.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

How very sad. Doesn't even sound like you were talking about "where" you are going to breastfeed, but just that you were going to give it a try.

I'm very shy so I don't mind going to another room to breastfeed. When I was at church, I would go in a Sunday School room and prop my chair against the door to nurse my daughter. Me and DD had plenty of privacy and normally she went to sleep.

 

[Leanna]

Wow!! If this is the prevalant attitude in your church, I'll be honest... I'd get another church! Of course it may be amplified for me because the people who are against breastfeeding like that also tend to be against everything else I do too-- gentle discipline, respectful parenting, not throwing my child in a room they call a nursery and letting him scream until he realizes mommy won't come and call it parenting.... okay, now I am rambling. But that really annoys me Linnis and I didn't even get to breastfeed last time. Next time you can bet your buns I'm going to breastfeed whereever I am, modestly, and if they don't like it THEY can leave. Rights to breastfeed in public are protected in all 50 states.....

 

[Linnis]

How very sad. Doesn't even sound like you were talking about "where" you are going to breastfeed, but just that you were going to give it a try.

I'm very shy so I don't mind going to another room to breastfeed. When I was at church, I would go in a Sunday School room and prop my chair against the door to nurse my daughter. Me and DD had plenty of privacy and normally she went to sleep.

Exactly. I never once said I'd do it in church, I'd go to another room alone. With all my medical probelms, I am up against a lot to breastfeed to begin with but if I could, I'd like to. Apprently even in another room, with the door locked from the outside or in the nursery covered with a receiving blanket...people will know what I'm doing even if they don't see it and be grossed out.

Spoke to my friend from church and she said while it may be the opinon of some of the body, the church would not refuse to let me breastfeed there, besides the fact it's illegal, they understand it's a parents choice on how the child is fed.

When I'm farther along I'm going to ask the church and see what they say. I don't think any of the Pastors would say anything, they are a pretty easy going bunch. I also think the nursery staff should be pretty used to it, I mean they change other kids diapers.

 

[katelyn]

Wow, I'm sorry. I hope that just because the ones who are against breastfeeding are making the most noise is not a reflection of the thoughts of the majority of the church. I definitely think if nowhere else, it should be perfectly fine for you to go to the nursery to do it. I think the suggestion that you should have to go to the bathroom to do it is

 

[CrystalBrooke]

people in church shouldn't be worrying about what others are doing around them..they should be paying attention to the sermon first of all...second of all if you use a blanket and make sure that your breast is covered you shouldnt have to run and hide to do what is natural.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I said I was going to try breastfeeding and hopefully it may work. I've had surgery on one of my breasts so we're not sure if it'll work at this point.

I forgot I wanted to respond to this. You can successfully breastfeed using only one breast. So if you find that the breast you had surgery on produces little or no milk using the other breast only can produce enough milk for your baby.

 

[Linnis]

I forgot I wanted to respond to this. You can successfully breastfeed using only one breast. So if you find that the breast you had surgery on produces little or no milk using the other breast only can produce enough milk for your baby.

Yes, I was told this from the woman I met who's a lacation consultant from WIC. Which is why I'm so hopeful now I just have to try and keep my fibromyalgia from coming out of remission.

I feel I have to put 100% into this because if I give it some half attempt it's less likely to work. If my medical limitations make it impossible to breastfeed I'll know I gave it 100%. Formula is made for women like me who want to but can't...hopefully I won't feel too guilty if I can't.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

How smart of you to already be talking to a lactation consulant. I was so clueless with my first baby and I didn't read anything about breastfeeding. I had told DH that I would give it a try for him but that was it. My Mom didn't breastfeed and I knew nothing about it. Well ... needless to say, I fell in love with it! My little girl was so healthy and it was so great to see her thrive under Mom's milk! BUT, I ran into problems to start with because I wasn't educated. I was engorged and she couldn't latch on and I had NO CLUE until I took her to the Dr. and they watched us nurse. They gave me the info I needed and we successfully breastfed for 17 months. So I say, educate yourself. Read, read, read!

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

Yes, I was told this from the woman I met who's a lacation consultant from WIC. Which is why I'm so hopeful now I just have to try and keep my fibromyalgia from coming out of remission.

I feel I have to put 100% into this because if I give it some half attempt it's less likely to work. If my medical limitations make it impossible to breastfeed I'll know I gave it 100%. Formula is made for women like me who want to but can't...hopefully I won't feel too guilty if I can't.

Even in best case scenarios women need to give it 100% really to be successful. I knew nothing about breastfeeding when I had my daughter and it was by luck alone that I was able to successfully breastfeed her.

And I would totally not feel guilty in your position if I had to swicth to formula. This is what formula is for in my opinion - women who can't breastfeed not women who won't. But that's a whole other soapbox... You also have the option of combifeeding so the babe gets some breast milk.

But good for you for giving it a try!

 

[krilliekat]

I am a firm believer in breastfeeding and it has picked up a lot of popularity over the years and I am really surprised you got this reaction from other pregnant women!!!

Go for it, and do it wherever you like. A nice nursing sling might give you the privacy you need. Nursing seems hard at first, but it really isn't...it is how God designed us to be!

And another thing...it is against the law in many states to approach a nursing mother and ask her to stop nursing or go to another place. I think La Leche League website might have these laws listed, state by state. It is always a nice comeback to have handy if you are in a protected state!

 

[RoseofLima]

I have found that most people most of the time don't even really have any clue that I am nursing my babies. Infact people have walked right up to me to "pet" my babies while they were nursing .

In the early weeks after the baby is born --first learn how to nurse lying down (this is in my opinion the single most important skill to learn as a mommy!) ANd also practice nursing in front of a mirror!

I highly recommend the clothes from www.Motherwear.com. They are a bit pricey, but are well made and discreet. Ijust wear regular clothes mostly now--but I have like 8 years of nursing experience at this point!

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

Do you have a cry room in your church? that is where i will nurse when this baby is born. It is dark quiet and soundproof.

They shouldnt have commented like they did. that was wrong.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

Do you have a cry room in your church? that is where i will nurse when this baby is born. It is dark quiet and soundproof.

They shouldnt have commented like they did. that was wrong.

Good for you for trying to nurse again

 

[Linnis]

Thank you ladies for all your comments.

I think this just confirms I make friends better with older women. All my in person friends are easily 8 years older than me.

According to the church(Yeah I said I'd wait a month! hehe ) they have no desire to deny my right to breastfeed and can do so in the nursery, the senior pastor even offered this walkie talkie like device so I can continue to listen to the sermon.

 

[marciebaby]

Thank you ladies for all your comments.

I think this just confirms I make friends better with older women. All my in person friends are easily 8 years older than me.

According to the church(Yeah I said I'd wait a month! hehe ) they have no desire to deny my right to breastfeed and can do so in the nursery, the senior pastor even offered this walkie talkie like device so I can continue to listen to the sermon.

That's great that your pastor is supportive. I had both of my children in Colorado, and public breastfeeding was common. I breastfed everywhere and never thought anything about it. Then again, the hospitals all had midwives and jetted tubs for laboring women as well, so the attitude was just different.

Now we live in South Carolina, and it is actually very rare that I will see a woman breastfeeding. I think that bottle feeding is more common, and also women who do breastfeed will pump a bottle so that they don't have to risk exposing themselves in public.

I'm not shy, I will be breastfeeding baby #3 in public, so these southerners will just have to brace themselves.