I just feel far from god and have done some things. I feel very guilty and have asked for forgiveness many times. I just CANT read the bible anymore or spend alot of time in prayer. I feel like God has gave me up to my own disires like he says he would do....
Greetings and may God bless all who read. Dear MFG, you are not alone in how you are feeling. I have been there and many of our other brothers and sisters in Christ have been there also. All of us who are born again, continue to battle spiritually in some way or another. This is why we thank and trust in Jesus for our continued faith, strength and salvation. It is the grace of God that truly proves to be sufficient for all.
Yes, we do have do be careful of the enemy's deception, however, the one thing I would not do, no matter how you are feeling, is to let the enemy deceive you into not praying to your Heavenly Father or in the studying of His Holy Word through guilt. Go to God in spirit and in truth. Confess your faults and ask sincerely for forgiveness. God cares.
It is the physical man within you that can stand to miss a few "material" meals, not your spiritual. I know that you might have heard of these scriptures before but I am led to present them before you and pray that God will release this hold of grief and guilt upon you. Here is a spiritual meal for you.
It is written in Ephesians 6:12, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Amen? God is aware of this, why would He abandon you?
Even through all of this adversity that every child of God faces, you must understand that your only defense is God, salvation given through Jesus, prayer and God's Holy Word. It is written in Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Amen?
Repent, stay humble and believe the Word of God. The Lord loves you. Make a conscience effort to stay away from what you know that is wrong and continue to pray for God's divine strength and wisdom to remain obedient to His will for your life. This should be a daily practice for all. Continue to read the Word of God.
I encourage all of us as the children of God, to continue praying for one another, for God's mercy, love, forgiveness and strength, to continue to rest upon us all in Jesus name. Amen.