Difficulty dating.

[CodyFaith]

Hmm.

You say your prior life issues and current held biases get in the way often.

I'm wondering if maybe you're coming on too strong on first, second dates. The first few dates are the time where you try to show the best parts of yourself (in a natural way), and see the best parts of that person and see if you match. It's a weeding out of people who would not be compatible with them over major reasons, or because that person does not have their act together. It's a chance to see if your personalities respond well to each other.

You are not obliged to share all your life story on these dates. Most people have pasts, and especially at your age a lot of people have been through one thing or another (or multiple), done things they've regretted, been hurt, etc.

Admittingly I don't fully know what you mean by your "extreme biases"... but even those words alone are intense. Intensity right off the bat freaks people out... and rightfully so, we all have enough on our plate and the last thing we want is to carry another person's weight whom we don't know. We don't want to hear extremes... we want joy, happiness, light-hearted conversation and good feelings.

Just some things to think about.

 

[bèlla]

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[CodyFaith]

k w/e, guess that's what comes for trying to help people

 

[bèlla]

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[bèlla]

Several years ago I read a book by Derek Prince called God is a Matchmaker. It's his testimony and he reveals how the Lord led him to both of his wives. The first was much older than him. But his obedience resulted in the creation of his ministry and its foundation. They sowed. When she passed away he was directed to another in time. And they built on the things he'd begun with his first wife and the ministry flourished. Millions are impacted every day by his efforts and he's no longer here.

Neither were his first choice. But his reward was great. I received something today that I will share. Love covers and overcomes. Most of the things we're seeking are unimportant. God can provide what is lacking. I hope you have an opportunity to read the book. It's very inspiring and a testament of faith and its fruits. God bless.

 

[Maxsteel]

Several years ago I read a book by Derek Prince called God is a Matchmaker. It's his testimony and he reveals how the Lord led him to both of his wives. The first was much older than him. But his obedience resulted in the creation of his ministry and its foundation. They sowed. When she passed away he was directed to another in time. And they built on the things he'd begun with his first wife and the ministry flourished. Millions are impacted every day by his efforts and he's no longer here.

Neither were his first choice. But his reward was great. I received something today that I will share. Love covers and overcomes. Most of the things we're seeking are unimportant. God can provide what is lacking. I hope you have an opportunity to read the book. It's very inspiring and a testament of faith and its fruits. God bless.

That's good.

 

[blackribbon]

As someone who has watched her spouse die....much too young on top of it (41 years old). I cannot imagine going through this grief without the confidence that he is with God and I will someday see him again. This is why I do consider marrying a Christian a must though only our basic beliefs need to be a match. To lose my love and know that we are permanently separated would be too much.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I am sorry to hear that. It isn't easy making connections. Know that upfront. When you add in faith and other preferences the options narrow. I've never dated a Christian and I'm uncertain if that will come to pass. I'm a Jewish believer and I'm beginning to think I'll settle with someone Jewish.

Much like you, I've encountered someone that ticks a lot of my boxes but he's an atheist. I've met others who are non religious and the same holds true. I'm drawn to a specific temperament that doesn't seem plentiful in Christian circles. I'm trying to reconcile that issue now.



You shouldn't give up if the desire exists. You're criticizing yourself without realizing that we each have imperfections that we're wrestling with. The qualities they find unappealing may be of no consequence to someone else. I can accept certain quirks to get what I want and require things that many women don't ask for. But I know I won't be happy without them.

You're not alone. Keep your head up. ;-)

Amen! I recently posted something in regards to finding the "Goldilocks" zone in a partner. SOmeone who meets all your tick marks, but yet, there's one deal breaker.

Yay, he's Christian and walks with the Lord, but is he 6 feet tall? or "Great she's Christian, but tends to brag about it too much".

I keep meeting women that cannot answer a normal question without adding a God angle to their answer.

 

[bèlla]

I keep meeting women that cannot answer a normal question without adding a God angle to their answer.

God can become a comfortable get-out-of-jail-free card that many fall back on. Oftentimes it isn't Him. It's us but we can't admit it.

Perhaps you're attracting the pious ones. ;-)