Difficult situation with my baby daughter

[BenCollyer91]

My fiance who was carrying my child broke up with me in april

my daughter is two months old now, and I also have a brain condition from anti depressants for 7 years which has left me unable to feel emotions, bond or attach to anyone

I have faith that God will heal me one day, I feel he wants me to sincerely repent and start seeking the kingdom as my priority first

the bible says he who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever

but at the moment I do not feel fit to be a dad, to would i be sinning if I opted not to see my child? what could I do to ensure I dont fit the description of that verse while also being realistic about my current capacity to be a dad?

 

[seeking.IAM]

Children who grow up with missing parents always have questions, and often live with sadness and anger. Who is my dad? What is he like? Why isn't he here? What's wrong with me that he didn't love me? Why didn't he support me?

Better that your child should know you and have his or her answers even if the answers are that you are a flawed, imperfect being like everybody. Be a dad. Do that for your child.

 

[ripple the car]

Any amount of interest that you show in your daughter is valuable, and precious. You helped bring her into the world. You need to be a part of her life. This is not about your feelings, neurology, or self-pity.

Part of seeking the Kingdom means treating people kindly, being compassionate, being responsible, and taking care of your family as best you can. It is not just about going to church or studying the Bible, brother. You have to live this stuff out, too. Yes, you should see your daughter. It’s important. You’re her dad.

 

[ripple the car]

Even if you feel emotionally broken, or unfit, your presence is important. This is not about how you feel; it’s about what you do.

You had a child with this woman. If she will not marry you, you need to be the best dad you can be. Don’t compare yourself to other men. You’re in a unique medical situation, and have problems. You can and should still be a parent. Copping out of your daughter’s life will not please God at all, no matter how many Bible studies you join up with. Seriously. This will be a challenge, but trust in God, take it one day at a time, and be a dad. You owe it to your kid. And to the Almighty.

Sorry to be repetitive, but this is so important. Maybe you’re scared. That’s possible. Don’t be scared, Bob. You can be a good dad. You can. Be a part of her life, and you’ll be glad you did.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

My fiance who was carrying my child broke up with me in april

my daughter is two months old now, and I also have a brain condition from anti depressants for 7 years which has left me unable to feel emotions, bond or attach to anyone

I have faith that God will heal me one day, I feel he wants me to sincerely repent and start seeking the kingdom as my priority first

the bible says he who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever

but at the moment I do not feel fit to be a dad, to would i be sinning if I opted not to see my child? what could I do to ensure I dont fit the description of that verse while also being realistic about my current capacity to be a dad?

Welcome to CF. Are you so sure God did not send this child into your life to expand your ability to love ? I think He did. There is no earthly love greater than one's own child. Let your healing begin with unconditional earthly love that God has blessed you with. You will be just fine !
Be blessed.

 

[BenCollyer91]

Welcome to CF. Are you so sure God did not send this child into your life to expand your ability to love ? I think He did. There is no earthly love greater than one's own child. Let your healing begin with unconditional earthly love that God has blessed you with. You will be just fine !
Be blessed.

did you read my post? Im unable to feel emotions, brain injury

 

[ripple the car]

did you read my post? Im unable to feel emotions, brain injury

That’s ok, Bob. Sometimes love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice. I get angry at my husband, but I choose to love him. Not because I feel like loving him at the moment, but because I choose to just keep giving him his morning coffee and cleaning the bathroom, even if I don’t feel very loving just then.

You don’t have to be able to experience warm, gooey feelings to love. Sometimes warm, gooey feelings can de deceptive, anyway. Just show up, and hold your infant daughter. That would mean the world to her, even if she seems too small to understand.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

did you read my post? Im unable to feel emotions, brain injury

I did. I thought you were seeking God's help?

 

[aiki]

That’s ok, Bob. Sometimes love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice. I get angry at my husband, but I choose to love him. Not because I feel like loving him at the moment, but because I choose to just keep giving him his morning coffee and cleaning the bathroom, even if I don’t feel very loving just then.

Amen!

 

[Shane R]

Losing emotion, finding devotion. . .

Words from a song I heard years ago. Think about them.

 

[mama2one]

.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

My fiance who was carrying my child broke up with me in april

my daughter is two months old now, and I also have a brain condition from anti depressants for 7 years which has left me unable to feel emotions, bond or attach to anyone

I have faith that God will heal me one day, I feel he wants me to sincerely repent and start seeking the kingdom as my priority first

the bible says he who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever

but at the moment I do not feel fit to be a dad, to would i be sinning if I opted not to see my child? what could I do to ensure I dont fit the description of that verse while also being realistic about my current capacity to be a dad?

Ben with all due respect, there is quite a bit of feelings in your post. It is clear to me,( I know I am only a thread contributor and have no idea what you are going through ) , you love God enough to care about your spiritual condition. That must mean something.
Blessings.

 

[BenCollyer91]

don't wait for one day
seek out a neurologist now & see what can be done to heal

once you are on the path to recovery & can prove to your ex-finance that you are no longer a danger to her & child, then you can seek to be part of child's life

keep in mind your stated mistreatment of her, so it will be on her terms whether you will be given access to child

the condition i have is untreatable and incurable unfortunately, God is my only hope

 

[turkle]

but at the moment I do not feel fit to be a dad, to would i be sinning if I opted not to see my child? what could I do to ensure I dont fit the description of that verse while also being realistic about my current capacity to be a dad?

As the co-creator of this little girl, you have a responsibility to care for her to the best of your ability. You don't need emotion to be a good father, you need action. As long as you are not a danger to her, you need to step up and be present to care for her needs. You are responsible to her physically and financially. There are parenting classes and books you could study so that you can engage with her.

Opting out of seeing your child is absolutely not what God calls you to do. So the answer to your question is, yes, you would be sinning if you walk away from your child.

 

[Sketcher]

See her if you do not believe you would be violent or abusive, and if your ex doesn't have a restraining order on you.

 

[Nitsud]

I agree with turkle. Simply be her dad. Do the things that are good(that which is beneficial in their existence). Hold her, feed her, teach her, protect her. Let her know she is worth time, energy, attention: and most importantly let her know that God created her for a reason. If you give these things to her she will pass them on and love you for not neglecting her (Gods gift to you).

 

[Hazelelponi]

My fiance who was carrying my child broke up with me in april

my daughter is two months old now, and I also have a brain condition from anti depressants for 7 years which has left me unable to feel emotions, bond or attach to anyone

I have faith that God will heal me one day, I feel he wants me to sincerely repent and start seeking the kingdom as my priority first

the bible says he who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever

but at the moment I do not feel fit to be a dad, to would i be sinning if I opted not to see my child? what could I do to ensure I dont fit the description of that verse while also being realistic about my current capacity to be a dad?

Children who grow up without both parents being active and present in their lives are far more likely to drop out of high school and far far less likely to attend college. Many fatherless kids up using drugs or otherwise engage in illegal activity.

A father's presence in the child's life is essential to that child growing up happy and healthy. The ones who make it through the obstacle of an absentee father are outliers, exceptions to the rule and as a parent you can't just "hope" your child will turn out okay without you.

The fact you have a difficult time bonding is something you'll have to get counselling and help for, for the sake of your baby, and just do your best by her.

Parents don't always know how to be parents, it's not like there's a perfect guidebook, we all just do the best we can. Since you have issues with bonding, read parenting books, there's thousands you can read, and learn from other parents, especially older ones, those who made it through the gauntlet already and have grandchildren are best to speak to for advice.

Other than that, provide. Make sure your ex has enough money etc to care for the child, provide child support, make sure your daughter has all the clothes she needs etc. Help with various medical expenses etc.

In short, be a parent... she's your responsibility now, it's on you to step up to the plate and be there.

 

[Hazelelponi]

the condition i have is untreatable and incurable unfortunately, God is my only hope

I will pray for you... tag me in threads you need advice in and I'll do my best to give you good advice.

 

[Nitsud]

Oh and nothing is incurable with God on your side.

Ezekiel 37-38
King James Version

37 The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones,

2 And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry.

3 And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest.

4 Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord.

5 Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:

6 And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the Lord.

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.

8 And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them.

9 Then said he unto me, Prophesy unto the wind, prophesy, son of man, and say to the wind, Thus saith the Lord God; Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live.

Some may say this is a story or when will it happen or question the possibility.
I say question not.

Matthew 27
50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

If he can restore many who have been dead for years your disability is simple for him. If he chooses not to repair you it is for his reasons and you should rejoice he has chosen you.