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Differences in age.....
- Thread starter BrokenGhost
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I think that if two people are both "of" age, then the number shouldn't figure in. But I do think that there has to be spiritual, mental, emotional and physical in common. That's not to say that a person, for instance, might not be physically able to walk, so they shouldn't be with someone who can. Same with a blind person marrying someone who has their eye-sight.
Just some thoughts off the top of my head,
Just some thoughts off the top of my head,
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- Apr 30, 2012
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memoriesbymichelle
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The only time I have a problem with "the numbers" are when I see someone with someone else that is considerably older than they are. So like if one is 20 and the other is 50 than when the 20 yr old gets to be 40 the other person would be 70 and it gets worse from there and it's especially questionable (in my mind) when the older person is the female. It doesn't matter to me at all what other people do, I just know that for ME, I'm almost 54 and I don't want to be with someone younger than me, but if I DID, then I would be worried as I got older that they might wander, so I personally wouldn't do it, but whatever floats your boat doesn't affect me much. JMHO.
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dayhiker
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I don't have a problem with ages till it gets personal, then I'm attracted to younger ladies. I have two close lady friends and I'm not really attracted to them sexually. Also when I go to dances, I ask and dance with older ladies but the ones I want to get close to are all younger.
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dayhiker
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Other people can date who ever they want to, that doesn't bother me.
By younger I'm just referring to younger than I am. I meet a lady on the ship that was your age and I was attracted to her. I have an friend I see a few times a year and she is late 60's. We have great conversations, but I'm not really attracted to her, tho she tells me she is attracted to me.
This seems to be something that I'm just learning about myself.
By younger I'm just referring to younger than I am. I meet a lady on the ship that was your age and I was attracted to her. I have an friend I see a few times a year and she is late 60's. We have great conversations, but I'm not really attracted to her, tho she tells me she is attracted to me.
This seems to be something that I'm just learning about myself.
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Personally...I think anything post-menopausal...or in the same age group (for men) is really basically the same peer/age group....they are all in relatively the same stage in life.
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Doctor Strangelove
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The whole issue of life stages gets interesting once you are in your late forties on up. People can be at very different places in life even if they are of a similar age. Last year I met a woman who was just a little bit older than me, she was single, and she was about to retire early and do things like visit a lot of countries around the world. Now, I am nowhere near being able to retire. It really won't make financial sense for me to retire for many more years. We had some interests in common but I immediately could tell that we were really in very different life stages just over the issue of work. And even if I were rich and could afford to retire right now, I would not. There are a lot of things with work I still want to do.
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You are correct that there are many variations in the post 50 crowd. However, it is fairly likely that it is a given that none of them are planning to start or add to an immediate family (unless a pet)...and most are starting to think about retirement even if they are not anywhere implementing it...or maybe the plan is to never retire. (Most 20 years old aren't thinking about this beyond "making their first million and retiring by age 40" type of contemplating).
I have no issues with wide age spans IF children (as in new babies) are not part of the picture. I believe that the children get the short end of the stick when they have "older" parents because of health and genetic issues. Yes, life offers no certainties...but grand majority of these kids get the short-end of the stick...either losing a parent at a young age or caring for a parent at a young age...or a their own health issues related to "old" genes. There is a reason why in OB, we call a 35 year old woman an "elderly" pregnant woman. The healthy issues start even before Junior leaves the uterus...and if it is Dad that is older, there are many risk issues that we are just now starting to understand...(many psychiatric related)...
I have no issues with wide age spans IF children (as in new babies) are not part of the picture. I believe that the children get the short end of the stick when they have "older" parents because of health and genetic issues. Yes, life offers no certainties...but grand majority of these kids get the short-end of the stick...either losing a parent at a young age or caring for a parent at a young age...or a their own health issues related to "old" genes. There is a reason why in OB, we call a 35 year old woman an "elderly" pregnant woman. The healthy issues start even before Junior leaves the uterus...and if it is Dad that is older, there are many risk issues that we are just now starting to understand...(many psychiatric related)...
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Doctor Strangelove
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Blackribbon, you bring up some interesting points. Well, some people say I am impossible. I guess I am also an improbable person! You see, my mother was 39 years old when I was born and my father was 46. There are a number of people I know about in my family history who lived somewhat unusually long lives. Of course, you don't know what you will "win" in the genetic lottery.
Being born to "old" parents has its good and bad points. My parents never tried to be my "friend" and somehow I felt differentiated from my parents so I did not really go through a rebellious stage to prove my independence - at least nothing extreme. I think the age difference helped. I wasn't a "nice" little angel but I became independent without a lot of drama. I was exposed to a lot of things. My parents had a lot of interests and they encouraged me to have a lot of hobbies and interests. On the bad side I spent my thirties helping to take care of my father while working long hours and I did not have much of a social life and I was pretty much stressed out and burned out with everything that went on.
Being born to "old" parents has its good and bad points. My parents never tried to be my "friend" and somehow I felt differentiated from my parents so I did not really go through a rebellious stage to prove my independence - at least nothing extreme. I think the age difference helped. I wasn't a "nice" little angel but I became independent without a lot of drama. I was exposed to a lot of things. My parents had a lot of interests and they encouraged me to have a lot of hobbies and interests. On the bad side I spent my thirties helping to take care of my father while working long hours and I did not have much of a social life and I was pretty much stressed out and burned out with everything that went on.
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memoriesbymichelle
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Blackribbon I disagree with you that if you have an "older" parent you would get the short end of the stick. There are alot of people that are raised by their grandparents because the parents are drug addicts or in jail or dead or whatever. I don't consider that they got the short end of the stick. We get what we are supposed to get IMO, and of course in our case, we "get" to be widows.
Dr....If I were ever to get into a relationship I also would want "alone" time. I think partly because I'm so used to doing what I want when I want, but the other part is just because I think it's healthy to do things separate as well as together.
Dr....If I were ever to get into a relationship I also would want "alone" time. I think partly because I'm so used to doing what I want when I want, but the other part is just because I think it's healthy to do things separate as well as together.
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dayhiker
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Michelle ... I'm shocked ... alone time is the 1st step to saying you want a relationship but have limited interest in being married again! 
I'm running into this all the time as I meet more people!
I'm running into this all the time as I meet more people!
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memoriesbymichelle
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Michelle ... I'm shocked ... alone time is the 1st step to saying you want a relationship but have limited interest in being married again!
I'm running into this all the time as I meet more people!
elaborate? I don't get what you are saying. I think I WOULD like to be married again, but I want my own time in that relationship. I want alot of things and I am perfectly fine spelling it out for someone that was interested in me, of course I haven't had any takers so far.
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These kids have parents who are in jail, drug addicts, or dead...and you don't think they got the short end of the stick?
Yes, they were lucky enough to have great grandparents who stepped in to the parental role...but the best scenerio is always going to be having great birth parents who love each other, love their kids, and love God.
Regardless of the good, these kids will always have some psychiatric issues that come from not being chosen over the drugs or crime....and yes, my kids miss their dad regardless of my parenting skills-both the good and bad. Kids deserve two parents...
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Dr S.
Honestly, I don't consider your parents to be "old" yet, even if we consider them higher risk pregnancy for real reasons...at those ages, the risk is only minimal.
My patient this week was 40 years old and her baby (her 4th) was perfect in every way that I could see...
However, I think there is a real reason why God did not design women to be fertile to the grave.
However, these are my opinions only...and they are just that...opinions.
Honestly, I don't consider your parents to be "old" yet, even if we consider them higher risk pregnancy for real reasons...at those ages, the risk is only minimal.
My patient this week was 40 years old and her baby (her 4th) was perfect in every way that I could see...
However, I think there is a real reason why God did not design women to be fertile to the grave.
However, these are my opinions only...and they are just that...opinions.
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memoriesbymichelle
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Well if I thought that way, then I would also believe that alot of people get the short end of the stick since I was not born into weath and power. It would have appeared in the beginning that Joseph got the short end of the stick, but in the end it was because of HIM (and God of course) that his family and the country didn't starve to death.
We are all born into whatever circumstance God allows. It's His plan and I have no idea what His total plan is, so who am I to say anybody got the short end of the stick? just sayin'
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dayhiker
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Well, of course I was having some fun with you. But its an easy step from I want my alone time, to you keep your place and I'll keep mine and since we only see each other on weekends why get married.
elaborate? I don't get what you are saying. I think I WOULD like to be married again, but I want my own time in that relationship. I want alot of things and I am perfectly fine spelling it out for someone that was interested in me, of course I haven't had any takers so far.
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