How I react to advice from my parents advising me in love, which is mostly my father, even though he will be out of the loop until he finds out I'm going down the isle because of things as of late, I accept them, think about them, then I always just try in the relationship and see if they are right or wrong.
I don't really put too much stock into my family's opinions about the women I'm with. My mom lets me live and make my own choices. So far I have done ok in her eyes. My dad, nothing pleases him and I don't care to make him happy with this anymore. I care about myself first. My sister's opinion is probably the highest opinion in a way that I hold in extreme high regard. Her and I are really close, and my biggest fear is her seeing her big brother not being able to hold a relationship together because I am the only father figure she has, which is what she's seen thus far and she's more impressionable than my family. It really bugs me too while at the same time, it compliments me. I want her to have one example that she can look back on and say, that's a good relationship and since not by choice, I am the one she looks up to as a male/father figure where's her good example? It is no where. She doesn't have one example of me and a woman having a good relationship, just minut times of my ex and I being happy together, while apart she had to witness me crying over missing my ex, crying and angry over the ridiculous fights my ex and I got ourselves into, seeing me get upset quick because the relationship was a complete ruin and it angers me now that I think about and before my ex, it was useless and meaningless relationships. So now the future will be different. Her opinion is going to be in high regard, more than anyone, and the woman will have to wait to meet my family longer than before or at least she's going to have to be the one that asks to meet them.
Plus historically, I have no reason to. My parents never took into consideration what I thought of the people they were with. Everything comes back around right? Not by choice a lot of time either and this is one that isn't by choice. I do this naturally without even thinking about it. My dad is on his 5th wife, and my mom has had 2 marriages fail, and a lot of b/f's and 2 of them I was harsh with my warning, and she even admits that she should have taken my warning. I remember the guy that was trying to be "cool" and flipped me over his back and I landed flat on the floor. Freaking jerk! lol, and then the guy from Chicago [shakes head] and the pathetic cop I would still love to beat the crap out of. My mother has had some dandies. She also knows now, I simply stay out of her love life because of the last one she had here before she moved. She just finally learned that it is important what the child thinks...my sister. She knows me, I could careless at this stage and I think she understands why. I'm not a know it all, but if I warn someone and they don't take it time and time again, good luck and my mouth will be shut and get hurt or may it be a success and I always hope the best and I'll be there to listen to the tears fall but I will not give warning any more. As long as he treats her right, he'll be fine. I did briefly get involved with her recent man, but they've worked it all out now simply because when you see your mother hurting, at least for me, there comes a time I have to try to say the right thing instead of thinking about the past. If he doesn't, him and I will have problems, especially now that I'm going to be out in Harrisburg, PA soon. I just want her happy and to find my sister a man that she can look up to a father figure besides me. I know she always will but I want there to be more of a male figure in her life than me alone. So if she finds that, and he treats her right, I'll keep my mouth shut and get along with him.
My dad never sought my opinion on the one woman he was with that her and I clashed heads big time, and I still can't stand to think of her. He never asked my opinion of the women he dated, and his 2 wives. Plus with him and I, I simply do not care about his opinion anymore. He may have predicted right about my engagement ending, but the reasons why were so far from the truth. He is a very smart man, but recent events have led me to keep him out of my life and his opinion on matters of what type women I'm with, mean absolutely nothing to me. The only day it will matter is when I get married and I want him there for support and at the wedding. My dad and I's relationship have taken a new turn recently, and it isn't for the better, and things have changed permenately. So my view of father's opinion is skewed right now and may simmer down as time goes on, but at this point, I really don't know. Until then, I do not care to hear it, listen to it, no what it is in the future.
Yet as I get older, it gets a little bit more important in small degrees in a way I guess. It is just different now. My mom will be the same as she always has been, and I'm glad. I like how she just lets me live my life, and when she sees I'm happy, she'll support it. When she sees me hurting, she comforts and if there's a time, gives her opinion. My sister's opinion will be the highest that I take into consideration, and this is the very first time I have ever considered this and plan on doing this and my dad's opinion I am closed off to even considering because of how angry I am at him currently.
