Did a traumatic experience make you unchurched?

I found the links for ya.

The Transforming Church: G12 Testimony
Part One www.banner.org.uk/apostasy/G12testimony.htm
Part Two www.banner.org.uk/apostasy/G12testimony2.htm

Reading all this stuff is heartwrenching to me. We didn't have the Government 12 but we had layers of leadership; homegroups; discipling---it was almost identicle.

We really need to pray for the condition of the bride- she has been raped, robbed, lied to and left to fend for herself. It's got to grieve the Lord.

Jane

Nflite,

Thank you so much for the sites. It is amazing to read some of the exact things that had happened to me.
I was one of the people that refused to go into this system. I was told I had to be "sat down" and I could not serve in that local ministry until I participated. I left.
I THANK GOD for protecting me and my family!
Thanks Again,
Because of the Cross
Newday

I am totally without a homechurch. I was forced out of mine when the pastor decided to dispose of me just last week. I am raw, hurting and have no idea where or what God wants to do with me.

I am afraid to trust again and feel that I cannot do so. I can't seem to hear God's direction over the hurt and trauma that has brought to the point I am without a church.

God Bless you.
NewSong

NewSong,

Even when man has rejected you, God has not.
I didn't like the way things came about in my situation BUT IT HAS worked out for my good.
Keep praying, keep reading the Word of God. Our Father said that He would never leave you nor forsake you.
HE WILL show you your next step.
I'm praying for you.
Because of the Cross,
Newday

newday said:

NewSong,

Even when man has rejected you, God has not.
I didn't like the way things came about in my situation BUT IT HAS worked out for my good.
Keep praying, keep reading the Word of God. Our Father said that He would never leave you nor forsake you.
HE WILL show you your next step.
I'm praying for you.
Because of the Cross,
Newday

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Thank you Newday... I was fortunate enough to be a PK and yes you are right that reading the word of God and knowing that HE will never leave me nor forsake me is exactly what is important. Thank you NewDay. Thank you for your prayers. They mean so much to me.

For anyone who needs it, please PM me, I have taken the address down for now.


please use it with love, the people are in all levels of healing. There are a few recovery groups there. I find myself mostly on the spiritual abuse forum. Jeff Vanvonderm coined the phrase spiritual abuse and there is much to read on his site.

The site is not like this one. Not everyone still considers themselves a christian (most do) but all have been hurt like many of you describe here. It is a site for people to vent, discuss, rage, cry, question and share with each other their experiences from spiritual abuse. Some spiritual abuse is very subtle some isn't so subtle. I guess it is run something like a 12-step program. You take what you need, share what you want. . . .

read around the site, and remember to tell me "hi" if you join.....

I am "jane" there too....

discernment- i am trusting you not to exploit them.....love, Jane

Newsong,

I don't know why you were just kicked out of a church but I know it was wrong. I know that the Lord will never leave nor forsake you. He found Saul, he can find you no matter where you are.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me and I'll give you my email address.

It sounds like you know who you are in Christ but that doesn't mean there are no battle wounds. I remember being told that some of the attacks that I was getting in my first church was just part of the "warfare" of being christian. Funny thing. When I read the bible, I read that Jesus stopped the people from stoning a harlot-- how much more would he protect us, his bride against assaults like I have seen? And the people throwing todays stones call themselves "HIS"..... interesting. Talk about a lion in sheeps clothing. Talk about incredible levels of cunning deception. Talk about subtle mind control and brain washing....all because people are desparate to please our Lord.

anyhow, please feel free to visit the site...or pm me.

Love,
Jane

Thank you all of you for your kind support. I can't say enough thank you's.



God Bless you and thanks so much for caring.



NewSong

NewSong said:

I am totally without a homechurch. I was forced out of mine when the pastor decided to dispose of me just last week. I am raw, hurting and have no idea where or what God wants to do with me.

I am afraid to trust again and feel that I cannot do so. I can't seem to hear God's direction over the hurt and trauma that has brought to the point I am without a church.

God Bless you.
NewSong

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NewSong, may I ask why the pastor did that to you? What a horrible thing to do! Sorry ... but when I read your post ... it left me speechless!

Honestly, does it matter?
We weren't kicked out of our church. After 9 months of agonizing trauma because we left; my husband asked for the tithes of just this year back. It was only $400. Compared to the thousands over the years....he believed that they were lying about where the money had been spent. He felt we gave it under misrepresentation.

Wanna know what happened (and this is AFTER all the abuse)???

The deacon, head of administration, (his childhood friend for over 20 years that brought him to the Lord) told him he was nuts! THat my he could now see my husband's heart and how evil it was (the bible says only GOD Knows the condition of a man's heart BTW). He screamed and hollered at him; told him that the only reason he was asking for it was to HURT THE PASTOR. HOW WOULD $400. hurt a man who has two children in top private schools, wears several different pair of $150-$200 shoes- goes on a month vacation to North Carolina every summer?????

We have been banned from the church property from that request.

All my husband did was ask for the money back.

There is never a good reason for a Pastor to kick someone out of the church. Most christians are against the death penalty because they believe that as long as there is breathe in someone, they can still be saved...

Just my opinion,

Jane

Hisrosebud said:

Honestly, does it matter?
We weren't kicked out of our church. After 9 months of agonizing trauma because we left; my husband asked for the tithes of just this year back. It was only $400. Compared to the thousands over the years....he believed that they were lying about where the money had been spent. He felt we gave it under misrepresentation.

Wanna know what happened (and this is AFTER all the abuse)???

The deacon, head of administration, (his childhood friend for over 20 years that brought him to the Lord) told him he was nuts! THat my he could now see my husband's heart and how evil it was (the bible says only GOD Knows the condition of a man's heart BTW). He screamed and hollered at him; told him that the only reason he was asking for it was to HURT THE PASTOR. HOW WOULD $400. hurt a man who has two children in top private schools, wears several different pair of $150-$200 shoes- goes on a month vacation to North Carolina every summer?????

We have been banned from the church property from that request.

All my husband did was ask for the money back.

There is never a good reason for a Pastor to kick someone out of the church. Most christians are against the death penalty because they believe that as long as there is breathe in someone, they can still be saved...

Just my opinion,

Jane

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If the money is not returned and your family contributed to a building fund , you could always take it to the courts . At the least , the process could find out what happened to the money and alert the community as to the tactics of the group . The precedent could also encourage others to bring cultish groups a wakup call that there are avenues to keep them accountable .

Well, it went to the general tithe fund, not the building fund. My husband and I discussed it.

I spoke to that friend; actually he called on me to "tell on my husband". He honestly believed that my husband was trying to take the money back from God. He said, you can't take money back from God.

My husband was more polite. During the conversation that he had with him, he felt like God only gave him a small window of space. He was to ask politely and that's it.

I am a little more angry--and vocal about that anger these days. When this man called to "tell on my husband"-- he actually thought I would go against my husband>

He told me that there was never a precedent before set-- that in all his years as a treasureer (Over 10 in the Aog and then over 15 in our church) NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED FOR GOD's MONEY BACK!

I told him, actually, my husband found a federal case where a family got their money back because they gave under false leadings....

He told me, go ahead and sue! (knowing how financially well off we are not) that the money went to church service and they could prove it. They do so many things for the community etc......


My husband and I prayed about it. We really did not feel released to fight for only $400. To go back years and get the thousands-- well, we would have to pay an attorney and we are using all of our funds to build "Hannah's Haven" and now to buy supplies to help my special needs 5 year old. We didn't feel God's release or grace to do that. We asked. They said no. We give it to the Lord.

I wrote about it manly because of the "not being allowed on church property because of it".

I don't believe non-profit churches should be able to do that. I don't believe it legally or morally. Trust me, we have no intentions of going there soon. We went once after we left for a child's birthday party that we were invited to and felt like we needed a shower after words. We felt condemmned, judged and didn't like how others who still belong to the church, were being treated in the name of love.

What do you think? Does a pastor have a right to kick you out of church?

I guess if his live was at stake, like you threatened to harm him, I can understand. Seems to me most people get kicked out for not compliying with the norms of that church group--for asking questions or wanting to be a little bit different. ( I don't mean in drastic cases; I mean maybe a woman wants to wear dress pants to church).

When Jesus was here- he walked amongst the outcasts not the religious experts of his day. He condemned the religious experts. Now I am not implying that all religious leaders are not following the heart of God--- but if we look to the way Jesus walked and talked and tried to be a little bit more like him--well, we would probably all be in Glory by then, right?

Just rambling. This is an emotional, heartwrenching subject for me these days. I am just trying to find my feet and get up and walk again- with the knowledge of who I am in Christ.

Jane

Ok . I thought that I would ask .

Every once in a while , I think about looking into the local groups . But , stories such as this bring me back to reality . I wouldn't "join" a group in the first place . So , it wouldn't do much harm . I also give in a way that doesn't have enough overhead to have the gift wasted . So , I wouldn't be giving to the group . Money , money , money ... they want it , they demand it , they take it ... and , you better do what those that you pay say to do . Interesting how hirelings in these groups call the shots instead of those that pay them .

Honestly, thanks for asking.

I hope I didn't sound antagonized...anything that came across in my letter that was stressful isn't towards anyone here.

It is towards all the ****, pain, and horrible things that I have been seeing done "in the name of Jesus"

In particular towards the pain that we recently went through, my husband and I are just now starting to recover.

We feel that recovering from spiritual abuse is more traumatizing than anything that we have ever experienced. It creeps into every crevice of your life. Trying to return to any "normal" church is difficult because even if they are healthy-- the very "christianeze" and scriptures that are used hit nerves with us as they were used to harm us and others.

Regarding tithing-- now we were faithful tithers to that church for over 8 years- plus for me churches prior. We didn't tithe every sunday perfectly- but close- and we gave in addition to building funds, visitors, and missions etc...

Only in the last year have I questioned tithing. Now I want to know why it is the only old testament law that we still follow....Not many have been able to answer me. They say, "Jesus tithed" and my answer always is; "and Jesus observed the sabbath on Saturday; went to jewish temple; followed jewish dietary laws etc... Do we do that?" and the answer often is, "no. we are under the new covenant."

"pastors have to feed their families" I am also told. But I read that Paul- he was a pastor, right? Was a tentmaker to not be a burden to his people. I know they helped him when he had need- but he did not take a salary.

It confuses me. Seems like a lot of people use docterine to suit their own needs.

Thanks for responding,
Jane

Hisrosebud said:

"pastors have to feed their families" I am also told. But I read that Paul- he was a pastor, right? Was a tentmaker to not be a burden to his people. I know they helped him when he had need- but he did not take a salary.

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Paul was not a pastor. Actually, there was no pastor in th first century. Pastor is an invention of modern man.

By the way, if "pastors have to feed their families" let them work. The problem is not with the pastors. The problem is with us, the laymen. As long as laymen are ready to give their money to them, there will always be pastors.

Count said:

Paul was not a pastor. Actually, there was no pastor in th first century. Pastor is an invention of modern man.

By the way, if "pastors have to feed their families" let them work. The problem is not with the pastors. The problem is with us, the laymen. As long as laymen are ready to give their money to them, there will always be pastors.

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You Know Count thats just so true

If we, the members of Christ's Body, the living stones, rose up into what God has planned for us and acted like we could , we would see the souls saved that we saw in Acts2. Instead we have one man giving us all his pet theories and doctrines in a dictatorship type setting.

We all have gifts that need so slot together like a jigsaw, no-one man has it all.

God Bless

Lismore