Depression Support

[newyorknewyork]

Laureline, sorry to hear you've lost your voice!

 

[newyorknewyork]

Some of my friends are having ED problems, and ... it sounds awful to admit it, but I want to be back in a place where it was ME that had those problems. Not because I want to take away their pain and struggles - even though that's true too - but because I WANT it. I want the hunger pains, I want the weakness and shakiness and fractured vision back. But I can't. Because so much depends on my recovery.

Soulwings... maybe you are wanting those things back because there is a kind of comfort and almost a weird skewed sense of "security" when we are doing things that are familiar to us - even if they are things that aren't good for us. I hope you stay strong! Girl, your strength is encouraging to ME!! you can do this!! With God, you can move mountains!!

 

[newyorknewyork]

you will soulwings!! you will! you can do this!

 

[newyorknewyork]

hows it going being on different level of meds?

 

[Eponine]

Laurelin, I've been wondering, and I hope I don't offend you, but if you're Christian, why do you have the "other religion" icon up? Just curious

I understand how losing your voice would be frustrating, ESPECIALLY for singing. That's rough, hopefully it will come back soon.

Well... to make a long story short I have some theological issues with the Nicene Creed, and you have to accept that creed to be considered a Christian by this site's standards.

 

[newyorknewyork]

Well... to make a long story short I have some theological issues with the Nicene Creed, and you have to accept that creed to be considered a Christian by this site's standards.

didn't know that... I'm a christian and I've never heard of that stuff...

anyways.. hope you're all having a great day!

 

[Eponine]

didn't know that... I'm a christian and I've never heard of that stuff...

anyways.. hope you're all having a great day!

Thanks. I could be having a better one but I could also be having a far worse one.

 

[Restoredsoul]

Hey guys,
Am having troubles at work and feel like i am in a battle - i know that God is with me and i have my full armour on but i'm just feeling a little apprehensive today. Would appreciate your prayers.

Big hugs
RS xxx

 

[Soulwings]

Praying for you all.

Ahh, I see, Laurelin. That's interesting. I'd heard that you have to accept the Nicene Creed to be considered a Christian on here, but never met anyone that didn't go along with it. Cool. Thanks for clarifying. Sorry, lol, I'm a bit nosy. :o

Things on new levels of meds are going okay. I'm exhausted though, wonder if that could be the meds or not. Meh. *shrug*

Take care of yourselves. xxx

 

[zoesahm24]

Hiya

I was reading your post and thought wow she sounds just like me..... I too have a very low opinion of myself and have done since I can remember..... I dont even know what has caused this although my brother drowning in my bath whilst having an epileptic seizure has contributed alot to the way I am these days...... I mean this happened over 10 years ago but It could have been yesterday if you know what I mean..... So depression has been a huge part of my life since then really.... I am on three prozac a day and feel like I have been left to stew...... no counsiling just more and more pills but I still have feelings of insecurity constantly worried about losing my partner or my kids...... I too cannot take a compliment how can anyone see anything good in me when I fail to see it...... 2 years ago I found Jesus and began to feel really good about myself.... more confident but my husband saw this as me being "brain washed" and our marriage crumbled after that..... he drank more physically and emotionally bullied me and the kids so in the I ended it all for the sake of the kids..... I plunged deeper into depression and could not even ask the lord for help as I felt like I have failed him so for a year I prayed occasionally and stopped going to church..... "I had failed"
It was a vicious circle but recently I have been talking to the lord alot and I am starting to feel that same peace and funny feeling in my belly that I used to get when I first experienced the holy spirit in me.......I am new to this and I spose I am looking to share with others in my position I just wanna be happy and I hope that talking to others here in this forum willl help me become stronger and be a much happier person....... sorry for going on but your story inspired me to be brave and share it with you and anyone who wants to read this..... would love to hear from anyone and if there is anything I can do to help then just shout

Your in my prayers god bless
Zoe

 

[Soulwings]

Zoe, thank you so much for sharing your story.

I don't have time to respond in depth, but welcome to CF and this forum and thread. God bless you.

 

[newyorknewyork]

Hey guys,
Am having troubles at work and feel like i am in a battle - i know that God is with me and i have my full armour on but i'm just feeling a little apprehensive today. Would appreciate your prayers.

Big hugs
RS xxx

i hope things at work improve RS

big hugs coming your way...

tsuriyel

 

[newyorknewyork]

Hiya

I was reading your post and thought wow she sounds just like me..... I too have a very low opinion of myself and have done since I can remember..... I dont even know what has caused this although my brother drowning in my bath whilst having an epileptic seizure has contributed alot to the way I am these days...... I mean this happened over 10 years ago but It could have been yesterday if you know what I mean..... So depression has been a huge part of my life since then really.... I am on three prozac a day and feel like I have been left to stew...... no counsiling just more and more pills but I still have feelings of insecurity constantly worried about losing my partner or my kids...... I too cannot take a compliment how can anyone see anything good in me when I fail to see it...... 2 years ago I found Jesus and began to feel really good about myself.... more confident but my husband saw this as me being "brain washed" and our marriage crumbled after that..... he drank more physically and emotionally bullied me and the kids so in the I ended it all for the sake of the kids..... I plunged deeper into depression and could not even ask the lord for help as I felt like I have failed him so for a year I prayed occasionally and stopped going to church..... "I had failed"
It was a vicious circle but recently I have been talking to the lord alot and I am starting to feel that same peace and funny feeling in my belly that I used to get when I first experienced the holy spirit in me.......I am new to this and I spose I am looking to share with others in my position I just wanna be happy and I hope that talking to others here in this forum willl help me become stronger and be a much happier person....... sorry for going on but your story inspired me to be brave and share it with you and anyone who wants to read this..... would love to hear from anyone and if there is anything I can do to help then just shout

Your in my prayers god bless
Zoe

wow Zoe thanks so much for sharing your story.. I'm not sure exactly who you were talking about when you said "i can relate" and "your story inspired me".. whoever it was on here.. we are all here for you and each other..

I'd love to help you on your journey to recovery!

I can relate to a lot of what you were saying.. I hope you find some friends on this thread and lots of support!

lots of hugs and prayers... tsuriyel

 

[newyorknewyork]

Judy, how are you doing? Hope you are doing ok...

 

[newyorknewyork]

Hi,

I just visited suicide.com and it helped me. I was reading the first page when I read this:


"It's been 15 years now that my life stay

here on earth has been voluntary."​

and I burst into tears.​

I feel like I have been going through my entire life involuntarily.​

My will has been crushed. My spirit has been crushed. I don't know how to come back to life.

FallingWaters, how are you today? I hope you are feeling OK and I am thinking of you.

 

[newyorknewyork]

oh, Godschild, i know that feeling. i felt like an observer of my life at times, sitting behind my mask.

i hated myself, i hated my life and felt so guilty that i felt like this.
i felt like i was being choked by a fog that sat on me like a blanket, i survived i guess, no hope, no joy, no excitement about life.
i was so angry about things and kept that anger close to me and turned it inward, it made me so unhappy and ill.
i felt a failure because i couldn't cope, couldn't do everything i thought i was supposed to be able to do.
i didn't exactly want to die, but i didnt want my life to continue.
i was scared to go and ask for help, in case they told me i was just being pathetic, that there was nothing wrong with me.
but a friend pretty much ordered me to go to the doctor and i sat in the surgery and cried.
Medication helped temporarily, as did talking to someone, so many pieces of advice on these boards, find out which is best for you by trying them. But keep talking... sometimes its easier to write or type how u feel rather than actually talk.
its taken a while, but i can honestly say there is light at the end of the tunnel, i find i've pretty much got there, and you will too.

Eating well, and exercising and sleeping well are very important, and it's vital you get time that's just for you. You are important, you are worth the time spent on yourself.

be safe, hun i'll be praying for you.

-Rhylla-

thank you for this post.. its so encouraging!!

 

[newyorknewyork]

wow i just went thru this thread and had a look at who has come in here over the last few months.. its so awesome...

maycontainnuts
sonador
restoredsoul
soulwings
eryk
lisa_P2545
lily00
laurelin
judy02
fallingwaters
godschild
rhylla
youthwalk
darklegend28
zoesahm24
anointedpoetess
and me!

wow! its so awesome we have developed such a support network in here! that was my dream and prayer!

i hope you are all well! each and every one of you!

 

[Eponine]

Praying for you all.

Ahh, I see, Laurelin. That's interesting. I'd heard that you have to accept the Nicene Creed to be considered a Christian on here, but never met anyone that didn't go along with it. Cool. Thanks for clarifying. Sorry, lol, I'm a bit nosy. :o

Things on new levels of meds are going okay. I'm exhausted though, wonder if that could be the meds or not. Meh. *shrug*

Take care of yourselves. xxx

Don't worry about it; it was my pleasure to answer. I've met a few other non-Nicean Christians over in LT; they tend to be very considerate and compassionate people, as are the people here. *Sighs as she hears her brother's girlfriend saying goodbye to her dad* Trevor and Tara deigned to join us for a little this evening. I suppose I should tell Trevor just how much it hurts not to get to spend as much time with him; it's almost like I'm losing another brother, only this time it's almost worse in a way because he's right there working at my school and his girlfriend is my swim coach and he still chooses to basically ignore our family most days of the week. But I'm not the confrontational type, really; I suppose most of my reluctance in this case is because I don't feel I can or should ask him to spend more time with me. Still, it's playing right into my low self-esteem; no matter how much I know otherwise I can't help but feel like the reason he's abandoning me is I'm not good enough for him.

 

[Flatscan82]

well right now i feel like complete crap

i was feeling really low so i had a bubble bath.. thought that might help..

baths are nice and relaxing and all... but i still feel really really low.. kinda worse in a way.. because all i could do was lay there in the tub and think about everything..

i started knitting the other day.. its a new little hobby thing i have.. i just taught myself.. with the help of a lil book i bought as well.. im doing good.. its fun.. maybe i should go knit some more

the house is a mess

i hate housework

DH works fulltime im part time
so naturally i feel responsible for the house -cleaning etc.

its crap tho coz i hate housework so much
it was always a punishment when i was a kid growing up - you didn anything wrong and you would be given lots of housework to do. thats so wrong im not going to do that to my kids

i feel clucky lately but i dont think i should have kids.
i dont think im ready - not if i feel like this. i dont want to be a bad mother.

i hate feeling like i have to be perfect .
i hate all these voices i get in my head telling me im worthless and ill never be good enough.

maybe i shouldn't have gotten married. its good and all. it just means now i am a wife on top of everything else.

i dont know..whats wrong with me? why do i feel like this?

i feel like i am going crazy????

i hate this feeling!!!!!!!!

i dont feel suicidal.. which is good.

i just feel low... crap.. kinda annoyed.. though i can't pinpoint why..?

i feel confused.. i dont know what to do with my life..

i feel frustrated.. that i have no energy or motivation to do anything..

i wish i could be all by myself then i wouldn't have to worry about pleasing anyone.. i can just be me.. and even if that me is sad and depressed.. its better than feeling sad and depressed and feeling pressured to put on a happy face and pretend you are strong and perfect when you aren't

why do i have all these voices in my head telling me im crap and i must be perfect but im not (who is? no one!)

i dont understand????????????????????????

i tried praying in the bath.. all i could manage was "please help me Jesus" .. God must be real happy about that.. not! I feel bad for not spending more time with God but I feel so far from him right now and I feel so depressed and confused and hurt.. We haven't been to church in about 2 months.. if we don't go this week I think i will die. Not literally. Just spiritually. i feel so empty and drained. I have no fellowship. I hate it.

I need friendship and fellowship but we aren't going to church. we found a good church and started going 4 a while, but its lik 40mins drive each way.. which is ages!

i wish i could go on a holiday..

why can't i feel good all the time like i do when i drink alcohol? like i have a few drinks and it makes me really happy.. i dont know why.. but its an awesome feeling.

i have to go now

ohhhhhh i fee l so crap help

 

[newyorknewyork]

aww thanks so much!