Depression Support

[newyorknewyork]

Don't have a lot of time to explain in detail but I could use a little support right now... just got back from spring break and I found out today about a bunch of things that are going to make this week stressful... it's more than a little overwhelming.

you've come to the right place.. this site is awesome

how can we support you? there are so many ppl here who all have amazing stories to share.. we can all be here 4 each other..

take care.. and feel free to share some more if you want.. tsuriyel <><

 

[newyorknewyork]

take care everyone

 

[AnointedPoetess]

Let's make this a thread where each day (or week.. or whenever).. we can all come on here and share with each other how we are going....

This can be a space for venting feelings, encouraging one another, sharing what we are doing each day, talking about how we are healing and coping, being accountable to each other, relating to each other, sharing what is working 4 each of us, listening, support and anything else!

I am 22. I'm on anti-depressants - Effexor XR. I was abused by my mother verbally, physically and emotionally. My dad took his life. I am healing from the lies I believe about myself because of the abuse from my mother. Obviously I miss my Dad too and grieve that he is gone. Each day I struggle with lies in my head about myself - they don't feel like lies, they feel like the truth because that is what I have been told all my life (by my mother). I struggle when someone is kind to me or compliments me - I get suspicious, I guess I wonder why are they being nice to me? I wonder if they have another motive? It's hard to believe good things about myself. When someone pays me a compliment, it feels like something inside me is rejecting what they are saying. I don't know why. I guess it's because its foreign or something.

I have to fight thoughts that tell me "I must be perfect" or "I am not good enough, because I am not perfect" or "I am worthless and unlovable because I am not perfect". My wonderful husband tells me these are all lies and I have to not believe them. They are maybe from the devil or something. Maybe the devil is using the abuse I experienced to torment me and hurt me.

But I am seeing a psychologist who is doing cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with me which is awesome! Its really hard work and I have to keep at it, but surprisingly, it really is working!! Ive been given exercises to do where I go back to the past (in my mind) and "visit" a memory.. a sad memory where I am being abused. Then I get the adult me to go and help the younger me (my "inner child"). It really works!! I was told how to do it and I must admit I was skeptical and pessimistic. It sounded all weird and strange and new to me, I wasn't sure how it could possible work??!! But it does!

I've also been told to keep a journal and write in it regularly. I've been told "its ok" that I don't have much energy and motivation some days- because that is all part of the depression illness. I have to learn to accept that.

I wish I was stronger. I wish I was happy all the time. I think I would be more lovable then. Probably sounds crazy. But thats honestly how I feel.

Anyway, enough babbling from me... lol

I'd love to hear from others.. please share about yourself.. what you are going thru.. it would be great to also hear from some people who had depression and got through it..

Hey, this is such an awesome idea! thanks for thinking it up and making it! I love it. Is CBT alot like DBT? bc im doing dbt and its cool but i like what u said about cbt and how its helping u. I journal too but alot of times im afraid to write down my feelings in fear of others reading them, ya know? I feel the same way u do when it comes to believing lies as truths, accepting pplz compliments, and when ppl are nice to me. Ive also been trying to get in touch with my inner child but its hard! Ive been depressed since i was 13 but its gotten worse since then and a few yrs ago i tried to end my life. I was molested as a child and have never healed or gotten over it but im trying too, im in counseling. Im a wk shy of my 23rd bday and i feel like ive wasted my life and can never get those yrs back, just hopelessness and fear!

 

[AnointedPoetess]

restored soul, i am listening to "blessed be your name" the sond you recommended! I have the version by the band Tree63

I thought I would share some books I have that I think may help some others too..

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0785273433/ref=sib_dp_pt/102-2983945-9481766#reader-link

This book (check the link above) is called "The Lies We Tell Ourselves".. its fantastic! its by Dr. Chris Thurman.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1590523318/sr=8-1/qid=1144103341/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-2983945-9481766?%5Fencoding=UTF8

"His Princess" by Sheri Rose Shepherd.. i bought this one just a few days ago.. I love it!! Its awesome! Its love letters from Jesus to YOU! The letters are all very Biblical.. so you can really hear Jesus saying those things to you!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446691097/sr=8-2/qid=1144103525/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-2983945-9481766?%5Fencoding=UTF8

JOyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind"

PLease share if you have any books or other things which help you or you think might help others

I read a book w/ my best friend about a woman who was fighting an ED, it was so good! its called A Monster Within By Cynthia Rowland McClure. I highly reccomend it for those of you who are facing this.

 

[Sonador]

Sonador, thanks so much 4 sharing.. what you wrote
is such a blessing to me (and Im sure to others as well) because I can relate to you so much!!

Its amazing (and really really sad) how many people have been abused in some form.

Its also interesting how many different forms of abuse there are. I never knew there was such a thing as emotional abuse (until I moved out from my parents house!)

I'm so sorry to hear that your step dad died of cancer. How are you dealing with the grief? I found in dealing with my dad's death that there are many different stages of grief and all sort of different feelings you experience! (Well thats what happened to me, anyways.)

no you are not a dork! you are completely normal!! i feel the same as you!! its hard to believe ppl wen they compliment me also!

You are young also. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Take care and drop back in here..so we can all chat.

Hi again Thanks, tsuriyel, you're very encouraging!!
Yes, it really is sad how many people have been abused in some form. I find it dreadful to see things on the news about parents actually beating their children, it's all so terrible to see the type of things people go through in this world. So many people need the Lord in their lives and don't even know what He did for them. It's all so sad.
I'm not really sure how I'm dealing with the grief. It's like an emotional roller coaster for goodness sakes.
Sometimes I'm really sad, then at other times I'm really angry. Seeing my mom hurt the way she does breaks my heart though. I wish I could fix everything some how.
So many people say that the pain is going to get better but that just makes me even more upset. They say that time heals, when it really feels like they're telling me that time makes me forget the pain. It's just better to close my eyes and pretend that they're all talking to someone else about something else.
But anyways... enough of my babbling.
It's nice to have things in common with people and nice to have people to talk to about them. Thanks, tsuriyel.
I hope all of you are doing very well!!

 

[newyorknewyork]

Hey, this is such an awesome idea! thanks for thinking it up and making it! I love it. Is CBT alot like DBT? bc im doing dbt and its cool but i like what u said about cbt and how its helping u. I journal too but alot of times im afraid to write down my feelings in fear of others reading them, ya know? I feel the same way u do when it comes to believing lies as truths, accepting pplz compliments, and when ppl are nice to me. Ive also been trying to get in touch with my inner child but its hard! Ive been depressed since i was 13 but its gotten worse since then and a few yrs ago i tried to end my life. I was molested as a child and have never healed or gotten over it but im trying too, im in counseling. Im a wk shy of my 23rd bday and i feel like ive wasted my life and can never get those yrs back, just hopelessness and fear!

hello thank you so much for the compliment! I am so glad I started this thread also! Thanks 4 sharing about yourself.. I think one of the most encouraging things is knowing we are not alone.. I come on here and read everyone elses stories and I am so encouraged! It makes me realise I must not be going mad after all! lol

I haven't actually heard of DBT.. I'd love to hear about it. I'm so sorry to hear you were molested as a child Thats terrible....

Sweety you are not to blame for what happened to you! You are normal and human and the pain you feel is real and valid, because of what has happened to you. Remember that it was out of your control. Don't blame yourself

Wow! Its almost your 23rd birthday! Me too! I am turninf 23 soon! Well .. a few months away yet.. but I'm looking 4ward to it already! lol

I really hope you find this site a blessing to you.. I hope especially that the people on this thread can encourage you and support you in every single step of your healing.

lots of love and hugs and prayers..

tsuriyel <><

 

[newyorknewyork]

I read a book w/ my best friend about a woman who was fighting an ED, it was so good! its called A Monster Within By Cynthia Rowland McClure. I highly reccomend it for those of you who are facing this.

thank you 4 sharing this! its wonderful to find books that deal with specific things such as eating disorders..

bless you !

 

[newyorknewyork]

Hi again Thanks, tsuriyel, you're very encouraging!!
Yes, it really is sad how many people have been abused in some form. I find it dreadful to see things on the news about parents actually beating their children, it's all so terrible to see the type of things people go through in this world. So many people need the Lord in their lives and don't even know what He did for them. It's all so sad.
I'm not really sure how I'm dealing with the grief. It's like an emotional roller coaster for goodness sakes.
Sometimes I'm really sad, then at other times I'm really angry. Seeing my mom hurt the way she does breaks my heart though. I wish I could fix everything some how.
So many people say that the pain is going to get better but that just makes me even more upset. They say that time heals, when it really feels like they're telling me that time makes me forget the pain. It's just better to close my eyes and pretend that they're all talking to someone else about something else.
But anyways... enough of my babbling.
It's nice to have things in common with people and nice to have people to talk to about them. Thanks, tsuriyel.
I hope all of you are doing very well!!

thank you! Im glad I could encourage you!

have a blessed week Sonador!

I know what you mean about an emotional roller coaster! Struth! In one day I can feel sad (and be crying) .. a little bit of strength gained and I'll feel OK.. then I'll end up wanting to piece my nose, cut my hair, have babies, move to the other side of the country! Its crazy!! lol

i hope that you continue to find your strength in Jesus..

lots of hugs and prayers be with you today.. drop back in soon.. tsuriyel <><

 

[Restoredsoul]

Hey lovelies - it's my 25th birthday today and i wanted to say that i am thinking of you all and prasying for you.

Please remember: 'Jesus said, "My grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

There is a line in the matt redman song 'when the music fades' that say 'though i'm weak and poor all i have is yours, every single breath.'

That's how i feel a lot but be encouraged God can work through our weakness we don't need to be sorted - we can just be who we are right now and God will use us to do his good works and he will loves us unconditionally.

There is nothing you can do to make God love you less - he adores you , he delights in you.

RS xxx

 

[Soulwings]

Soul ... happy birthday I hope its a lovely day for you. Ill be praying that it is.

Anointed Poetess - try not to feel that youve wasted your life so far, because you havent. All the stuff that youve been through has been a journey because of which youve grown stronger. Its just a precursor to the life you have ahead of you - the things youve learned in the past years, no matter how hard and awful they were, will help you in later years, be it here, supporting people and being able to empathise, or in real life, being able to be strong no matter the circumstances. I hope that makes some sort of sense. And happy birthday, even if it is a week early!

 

[Soulwings]

Don't have a lot of time to explain in detail but I could use a little support right now... just got back from spring break and I found out today about a bunch of things that are going to make this week stressful... it's more than a little overwhelming.

Ill be keeping you in my thoughts. Times can be rough, but there is always a reason to press on through. Just focus on living one day at a time; try not to get too stressed out about tomorrow or the next day or the day after that.

 

[Mayflower1]

Hello. I am doing better this morning. I don't like it when I get into those moods but hopefully when the antidepressant kicks in, I won't feel as sad a lot! Thanks for letting me vent! Lily00

 

[Soulwings]

Im glad youre feeling better this morning, thats great to hear. I know, mood swings can really suck. This thread is meant for venting, so come here whenever you feel like you need to talk!

 

[AnointedPoetess]

hello thank you so much for the compliment! I am so glad I started this thread also! Thanks 4 sharing about yourself.. I think one of the most encouraging things is knowing we are not alone.. I come on here and read everyone elses stories and I am so encouraged! It makes me realise I must not be going mad after all! lol

I haven't actually heard of DBT.. I'd love to hear about it. I'm so sorry to hear you were molested as a child Thats terrible....

Sweety you are not to blame for what happened to you! You are normal and human and the pain you feel is real and valid, because of what has happened to you. Remember that it was out of your control. Don't blame yourself

Wow! Its almost your 23rd birthday! Me too! I am turninf 23 soon! Well .. a few months away yet.. but I'm looking 4ward to it already! lol

I really hope you find this site a blessing to you.. I hope especially that the people on this thread can encourage you and support you in every single step of your healing.

lots of love and hugs and prayers..

tsuriyel <><

Thanks for the encouragement! i thought i was gonna b ignored for a minute there, lol but thanks 4 not overlooking me. Yup it is and im getting excited.. i hope its better than the yrs b4.. I know this thread will help me but im not to sure about the rest.. havent been getting the support i need but oh well. DBT is hard for me to explain but if u google it you'll b able to found out more about it.

 

[newyorknewyork]

happy birthday restored soul!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[AnointedPoetess]

Soul ... happy birthday I hope its a lovely day for you. Ill be praying that it is.

Anointed Poetess - try not to feel that youve wasted your life so far, because you havent. All the stuff that youve been through has been a journey because of which youve grown stronger. Its just a precursor to the life you have ahead of you - the things youve learned in the past years, no matter how hard and awful they were, will help you in later years, be it here, supporting people and being able to empathise, or in real life, being able to be strong no matter the circumstances. I hope that makes some sort of sense. And happy birthday, even if it is a week early!

Thanks and happy bday to u too!! I needed to hear that so thanks 4 the encouragement.

 

[newyorknewyork]

going to work today - childcare

just started this job last week

please pray 4 me as i need strength to get thru the day!

will come on when i get home from work and respond personally to all yr posts

have an awesome day

dont listen to the lies that you are crap or worthless or fat or bad person

we are all princesses !

lots of love tsuriyel xoxo

 

[Restoredsoul]

Hey hun,
You wil be fine today

'The lord your God is with you.He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love.' Zephaniah 3:17

Will hopefully log on later but i am off on a christian holiday tomorrow so won't be posting til i get back on the 12th - so don't think i have deserted you.

Thank you so much for all of my birthday gifts - you are too generous

Hugs
RS xx

 

[newyorknewyork]

Hey hun,
You wil be fine today

'The lord your God is with you.He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love.' Zephaniah 3:17

Will hopefully log on later but i am off on a christian holiday tomorrow so won't be posting til i get back on the 12th - so don't think i have deserted you.

Thank you so much for all of my birthday gifts - you are too generous

Hugs
RS xx

yr very welcome!

 

[Eponine]

you've come to the right place.. this site is awesome

how can we support you? there are so many ppl here who all have amazing stories to share.. we can all be here 4 each other..

take care.. and feel free to share some more if you want.. tsuriyel <><

Thanks. I'm doing a little better today; 1 swim meet and 1 essay down, 1 of each still to go (plus my chapel performance tomorrow! Eek! :o ) I still don't know how I managed to get through both the 500 free and the 200 free that I had to swim yesterday. I was going to have to swim 100 free on a relay too but one of the people going before me on the relay messed up and disqualified us, so I didn't end up having to swim the relay.