Depression Support

[lmarie23]

thanks for sharing that, Jessica, that's really good.

Lynne

 

[Abstract Devotion]

ok.. now that i have a few minutes to myself i can sit and tell you my story....


Im 27 yrs old and a preschool teacher at my church's preschool. Ive been dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide since i was in the eighth grade ( 12) Mom thought it was just me feeling sorry for myself so she never really got me the help i needed.... the school even tried to tell her... they showed her notes that i had written about when where why what and how i was going to take my own life. was tested.. but i figured out how to make myself normal on the test.... it kind of disappeared in highschool a bit.... but by my junior, senior yr... it was getting worse... it was always up or down... i lost interest in a lot of things... i know it affected my school work during college.... they put me on meds for a while.. but i stopped... three yrs ago this july14th I attempted suicide..... was almost successful.... but God made sure that i wasnt... still nothing was done after that.... i got out of behavioral health center because sis said i wouldnt do it anymore.... so they let me go.... during this time i was raped, sexually assualted.... my self esteem was just at its lowest.... even though i was trying to serve God.. that wasnt going well either.... I was into drinking and other things... my life was just a big mess. I keep saying i attempted because of a friend.. but i think deep down that wasnt the case... the issues were piling up..... but a year after that I was in service and i really felt in my heart that God had set me free from the depression. there was a change.... and people noticed the change.... three yrs later.... im here fighting it again.... its harder this time... cause its almost inevitable that it will happen?! I am in counseling, and back on meds for now.... counseling seems to help... i love my counselor... the meds i just started to take.. im just sick of it all though.. i want to be done with it once and for all ya know? its hard...i have to keep telling myself that i gotta stay around for my neice.... no one else in this fam will share Jesus with her.... anyways... thats the short version.... im here if anyone needs someone to listen... to ya all....

 

[keirberos]

So many times, I find myself wondering the same thing, Abstract Devotion— is this meant to be?

Does anyone else ever feel like it's an endless cycle? The depression leads to doing, thinking, feeling things that I shouldn't, which in turns leads to more depression, and feeling like I can't ever be a decent Christian. I try so hard; I want to stay out of this vicious little cycle, badly. Prayer, fellowship, it helps a lot; yet, I always find that I keep slipping back into a depression. Is this common?

 

[lmarie23]

Does anyone else ever feel like it's an endless cycle? The depression leads to doing, thinking, feeling things that I shouldn't, which in turns leads to more depression, and feeling like I can't ever be a decent Christian. I try so hard; I want to stay out of this vicious little cycle, badly. Prayer, fellowship, it helps a lot; yet, I always find that I keep slipping back into a depression. Is this common?

I definitely agree, Keirberos. So often it feels like an endless cycle. Yes, it's exactly the way you describe - you described it so well! I'm so tired of the vicious cycles. My counselor is trying to have me do a 90-day pact to free myself from some things that are continuing the cycle, maybe I should take his advice and try that.

Lynne

 

[Restoredsoul]

I think it's so easy to feel trapped with depression - as though when you take a few steps forward you then end up making a huge sprint back.

From experience i think it is so important to recognise the steps you are taking every day and to celebrate that.

It's a battle and sometimes we get so tired that it's an effort to fight - but it's worth it.

Hugs
Rs xxx

 

[nicolezoeydafney]

i am a person who hides her depression. if you were to know me you would think i was the happiest girl alive. i am not ashamed of how i feel, its just i feel like i have to be a certain way because i was depressed for so long, that people expected me to get better. my mother took her life four years ago. i was 18, and she was all i had. my father, and mother divorced when i was 10. he was never a really good dad. he was very proud of his achievments, and lived them out through my sister and i. i was a dancer, cheerleader, vp of my class in junior high, and freshman year of higschool. he was so hard on us girls. i remember he would make me sleep in my splits before any of my competitions. it was a difficult childhood to say the least. i never felt good enough for being me. and my mom dying did not make me feel good enough once again. i cannot blame myself for her death, but part of me thinks only if i was a better daughter. i have had tons of boyfirends, but once they get to close, i do something terrible to make them not want to be with me, or i will just stop calling them. i dont understand why i am afraid to let people in, i hide from the world. i wish i could just feel like i am good enough.

 

[Judy02]

Judy02, you should seek a doctor's opinion. Maybe, though, the extra stress put on you by searching for a job is what's making you tired, which of course, the frustration of is only more stress. You're right on the mark, though— a doctor can diagnose any problems better than anyone here can. Just try to get some more rest until you can find out what's causing it, and trust that things will get better, and He won't let you suffer if you ask for help.

Thank you

I think a lot of it is stress and depression, hopefully once I get a job and a fresh focus, things will look up more, and il have slightly better energy levels. Been a bit better recently xxx

 

[Soulwings]

Wow, it's been awhile since I was in here. I've missed you all.

Judy, Phil. 4:13 has been a verse that's helped so much for me lately. I'm glad to see it in your sig.

I'm not doing too great. I hate how there are days now when I feel so awful and not even cutting can help with it. It's just like ... I sit there and feel AWFUL and there is nothing that makes it better.

 

[keirberos]

nicolezoeydafney, girl, do I know that feeling. Hiding depression, not able to let people help in or let people help you. But, even if people can't help, let Him help. Or, help others. I don't know, maybe I'm being hypocritical, but I like to try helping people. It gives me a sense of purpose, it makes me feel a lot better, and most importantly, that I'm growing closer to God by doing his will. Since you're over 18, there are probably a lot of volunteer opportunities open to you. Maybe through your church? I don't know, it's the only advice I can think of to give at the moment. And don't worry about going through relationships— God has one person picked out for us. You'll find him one day, and you'll know then.

 

[livingdeadgirl07]

I think that's a fabulous idea.

I've struggled myself with depression for many long years. I've been through sexual abuse by trusted people, my father left when I was 9, after he'd been admitted to the mental hospital a couple of times, and our relationship has never really been repaired, my 20 year old brother died when I was 12; leaving behind his pregnant girlfriend, and the son he never got to meet. I've been through loss of personal relationships, one of which I am still greatly struggling with. I suffer from depression and am currently on Zoloft, OCD (which the zoloft also helps), self injury, and anxiety/panic disorder. I was raised in a Christian lifestyle by my mother, but walked away from it. Only last year did I fall so hard that I decided to come back to Jesus. That meant quitting drugs, smoking, sex, lying, cheating...the list goes on and on. I have a lot of guilt over things I have done in the past, and though I have repented, have a hard time believing I am forgiven. I feel dirty, tainted, and unlovable, which makes my depression so bad that some days I can barely get out of bed. I have a lot of trouble connecting with other Christians because I'm so afraid of what they will think of me because of my past. If anyone has any suggestions/ Bible verses to hold on to, or anything at all, it would be greatly appreciated.

-Brit

 

[Soulwings]

Brit, sounds like you have been through A LOT. Know that God forgives everyone... He loves you so incredibly much. You are clean in His eyes now that you've asked for forgiveness, and man is He glad to have you back in His arms!! I'm so glad to hear that you've taken that step, because I know that it must've been such a huge step to take, and scary too.

What helps me a lot when I'm fretting about "stuff", even though it sounds childish, is Psalm 23, the Lord is my Shepherd... He's with you at all times, no matter where you've been or what you've done. And He loves you no matter what. If other Christians judge you, then they aren't being true Christians, at least in my mind. You've done some bad things, but you've "repented" and are safe in His arms again. We all do bad things. And we all struggle. And it is because of this struggling that we need to be a huge support network for each other.

I'm here for you anytime you need or want to talk. Please don't hesitate to get in touch with me.

Hopefully that wasn't all just blathering. God bless you, girl, and stay strong. Life is hard right now but keep hoping and aiming for better. It WILL get better. Keep holding on to that.

xxx April

 

[livingdeadgirl07]

Thank you April

 

[nicolezoeydafney]

thank you for all your advice, and kind words!!

 

[Soulwings]

You're welcome.

 

[trinitygrace]

I am recovering from depression that began this time last year. It was spurred on from a bad breakup with my fiance. Things are a lot better now. After counseling from two different counselors and being on two different anti-depressant medications, I feel like I am back to being my old, happy-go-lucky self again.

I love to read self-improvement books by Christians. I just ordered one today called "Straight Talk on Insecurity" by Joyce Meyer. Has anyone ever heard of her? She is so awesome! She puts the Word into real-world perspective and is not afraid to voice her mind. She really does "keep it real"!

I ordered this book because all of my life, I have felt insecure about myself. I suffer from VERY LOW self esteem. It has negatively affected a lot of my relationships with past ex's, my current boyfriend, my family and friends. I hope with God by my side, and by reading this book, I can gain confidence in myself and not be insecure anymore. Please pray for me. Trinity

 

[newyorknewyork]

looking forward to seeing your wedding pics RestoredSoul Hows married life?

How is everyone else going? Hope you're all well... I look forward to getting to know you better...

AnnointedPoetess *big hugs* for you....

 

[newyorknewyork]

I came off my anti-depressants recently and was off them for about a week or so... but I'm back on them now because it doesn't seem to be the right time to come off them... I had such huge lows when I was off them.. I was suicidal several times in one week.. it was AWFUL

anyways.. good news = God is in control and is helping me by giving me an awesome husband to care for me and support me through this and a fantastic doctor to look after me and a great friend who is a counsellor that can give me great advice.

THANKS SO MUCH JESUS

 

[Judy02]

Hey everyone. Just thought I'd recommend a book on depression that's particularly been helping me at the moment. It's called "I'm not supposed to feel like this: A Christian self help approach to depression and anxiety." It's been given that title, because I think it addresses how a lot of us have felt about being depressed at some time or other, they don't condemn depression, or say it's automatically a sign of spiritual failure. Anyway, it's written by three comitted Christians, from the UK. They are also knowledgeable in psychiatry. It draws upon the CBT approach (Cognotive - meaning "thinking" Behaviour Therapy), by helping people to get out of unhealthy thinking styles which we are more vulnerable to doing when we're depressed, and also frequently directs you to scripture, and what God says about you, to alter unhealthy thinking styles. It's an easy read, and not too hard to follow, and also contains practical advice on what to do day to day to help depression. It has a loving, compassionate tone to it, it doesn't seem condescending, or feel ur just being talked down to if ya get me. I'm just starting to work through it now, but have had this recommended to me. They seem experienced in dealing with this problem, and to some extent I'd say, know what they're talking about. But it's had quite a few good reviews on amazon.co.uk if anyone would like to check it out: I hope anyone who tries it finds it helpful!

www.amazon.co.uk (UK).

www.amazon.com (US website).

Just thought I'd mention this, in case anyone was interested xxx

 

[Judy02]

I came off my anti-depressants recently and was off them for about a week or so... but I'm back on them now because it doesn't seem to be the right time to come off them... I had such huge lows when I was off them.. I was suicidal several times in one week.. it was AWFUL

anyways.. good news = God is in control and is helping me by giving me an awesome husband to care for me and support me through this and a fantastic doctor to look after me and a great friend who is a counsellor that can give me great advice.

THANKS SO MUCH JESUS

Aww I'm sorry you've found it hard huni! But don't beat yourself up over it, depression takes time to get over. Just keep giving yourself small targets each day, and progress is progress, no matter how big or small, we're moving forward. I'm so glad you have people around you to love and support you as well. With that, and your tablets, you're well on the road of "onwards and upwards," and to recovery. Just take everything one day at a time, give yourself small targets and you'll win this xx

 

[trinitygrace]

Aww I'm sorry you've found it hard huni! But don't beat yourself up over it, depression takes time to get over. Just keep giving yourself small targets each day, and progress is progress, no matter how big or small, we're moving forward. I'm so glad you have people around you to love and support you as well. With that, and your tablets, you're well on the road of "onwards and upwards," and to recovery. Just take everything one day at a time, give yourself small targets and you'll win this xx

Great encouragment to Tysuriel, Judy! I am checking out that book you recommended on Amazon.com. With that Joyce Meyer book I ordered, I may also order the one you recommended. If I can learn something new with how to combat low self-esteem, depression and insecurity, I will be better off and a stronger person because of it. God Bless you for your helpful advice!