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Solomons Porch

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Here's one that made me laugh .. One night reading the bible where Peter left the boat and walked to Jesus on the water then sank .. I envisioned Jesus and the disciples siting around a fire that night
when Peter spoke up laughing and said Lord now I know why you call me rock , because I sure sank like one when I turned you loose .. I imagined them all having a good laugh and I was giggling too .. ^_^
You guys have NO IDEA how much I needed this right now, LOVE IT
 
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Solomons Porch

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My daughter, at the age of 16 went into a clinical depression for two years. She heard voices and had panic attacks as well. I prayed intensely for her (not in her presence) over that two years. She did cognitive therapy, consulted with a psychiatrist, went on a course of anti-depressants, spent seven months in rehab, and came out of it to be a strong, resourceful and confident woman. She is still on anti-depressants as a preventative measure. I suggested to her that some of her depression may have come from a spiritual influence, but she stoutly told me that it was a mental sickness and not demon activity! I didn't push the point, but I do suspect that the effects of being bullied at school and the trauma associated with that might have opened the way for a depressive spirit to oppress her. That's what I tell God anyway.

Dr Neil Anderson wrote a book called, "Finding Hope Again" which deals with depression and its causes. It is a great book that gives a lot of teaching about when depression is a sickness and when it could be demonic influence. Anyone in Christian ministry dealing with people with mental health issues should read that book.

Anyone wanting to get into the deliverance ministry should read Dr Ed Murphy's book, "The Handbook of Spiritual Warfare"; and Dr Neil Anderson's book "The Bondage Breaker". These are the best books I have ever read on the topic, and have strongly influenced my view of the deliverance ministry and how it should be practised.
I MUST read this book, seriously
 
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Grandpa2390

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By contrast, my first experience in a church was where the preacher used up the whole stage to act out his message about David and Goliath, and it was one of the main things that influenced me to receive Christ as my Saviour that night. He showed excitement and passion in his preaching and I thought that if the gospel meant that much to him, then it should mean that much to me.

My good friends and I would often put on skits for illustrations. I think skits can be a very good vehicle for teaching. But everything in its order :)
 
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Grandpa2390

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Here's something else to make you laugh. My flatmate had an elephant as a pet, but he mislaid it. It is in the house somewhere...
did he check the living room? :)
He also had a dog, but spilled spot remover on it, and it is not there any more.
I bought some powdered water, but I am not sure what to add ;)
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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Here's one that made me laugh .. One night reading the bible where Peter left the boat and walked to Jesus on the water then sank .. I envisioned Jesus and the disciples siting around a fire that night
when Peter spoke up laughing and said Lord now I know why you call me rock , because I sure sank like one when I turned you loose .. I imagined them all having a good laugh and I was giggling too .. ^_^
Hahahaha! So he was a rock but he sank like a stone!!!
 
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did he check the living room? :)

I bought some powdered water, but I am not sure what to add ;)
You've been watching Stephen Wright too! I think he is the best comedian I have ever seen. He doesn't use foul language nor does he deal in smut with his jokes. I also like the Far Side cartoons, which contain much the same sense of humour.

I think that injecting crazy jokes like this into a thread where some are getting a bit nasty and personal is the best way of neutralising that sort of behaviour.
 
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You guys have NO IDEA how much I needed this right now, LOVE IT
The Embezzlers' Society couldn't have their last monthly meeting because of the treasurer's unexpected trip to Brazil.
And the Peacemakers' meeting broke up because of a fight breaking out between the chairman and the secretary.
No one attended the compulsive liars' club meeting because nobody believed that it was going to be held.
The guild of Procrastinators haven't had a monthly meeting for years because it kept on being put off until next month.
 
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Solomons Porch

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The Embezzlers' Society couldn't have their last monthly meeting because of the treasurer's unexpected trip to Brazil.
And the Peacemakers' meeting broke up because of a fight breaking out between the chairman and the secretary.
No one attended the compulsive liars' club meeting because nobody believed that it was going to be held.
The guild of Procrastinators haven't had a monthly meeting for years because it kept on being put off until next month.
LOVED the 3rd and 4th one !!!
Just got thru chatting with the guys over there in theology about there is no hell, so yeah i needed a laugh...............
 
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LOVED the 3rd and 4th one !!!
Just got thru chatting with the guys over there in theology about there is no hell, so yeah i needed a laugh...............
I remember the newspaper cartoonist came up with a brilliant cartoon when the Roman Catholics decided that their people could now eat meat on Fridays. The cartoon depicted a demon in Hell standing before the devil with a great crowd of people behind him, and he asked, "What shall we do with all these people who ate meat on Fridays previously?"
 
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Solomons Porch

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I remember the newspaper cartoonist came up with a brilliant cartoon when the Roman Catholics decided that their people could now eat meat on Fridays. The cartoon depicted a demon in Hell standing before the devil with a great crowd of people behind him, and he asked, "What shall we do with all these people who ate meat on Fridays previously?"
wow u r on a roll.......
 
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GTW27

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LOVED the 3rd and 4th one !!!
Just got thru chatting with the guys over there in theology about there is no hell, so yeah i needed a laugh...............
I remember back a few years ago I was sent here to give a few words from The Lord to a member that had many demons and was playing with those that were still on the milk and sowing seeds of doubt. I do not remember what the words were but they were powerful. So I just dropped them off for all to see. A little while later there was two swirling black shadows in my living room. So I said, "you must be here for the reading, Is the gospel of John OK? Needless to say they left.LOL
 
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Solomons Porch

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I remember back a few years ago I was sent here to give a few words from The Lord to a member that had many demons and was playing with those that were still on the milk and sowing seeds of doubt. I do not remember what the words were but they were powerful. So I just dropped them off for all to see. A little while later there was two swirling black shadows in my living room. So I said, "you must be here for the reading, Is the gospel of John OK? Needless to say they left.LOL
lol, glad they left
 
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Grandpa2390

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You've been watching Stephen Wright too! I think he is the best comedian I have ever seen. He doesn't use foul language nor does he deal in smut with his jokes. I also like the Far Side cartoons, which contain much the same sense of humour.

I think that injecting crazy jokes like this into a thread where some are getting a bit nasty and personal is the best way of neutralising that sort of behaviour.

I like Brian Regan too
 
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wow u r on a roll.......
I wonder what would happen if you were scared half to death twice?
Anywhere is within walking distance if you had the time."
 
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I remember back a few years ago I was sent here to give a few words from The Lord to a member that had many demons and was playing with those that were still on the milk and sowing seeds of doubt. I do not remember what the words were but they were powerful. So I just dropped them off for all to see. A little while later there was two swirling black shadows in my living room. So I said, "you must be here for the reading, Is the gospel of John OK? Needless to say they left.LOL

You could be like Smith Wigglesworth the great English healing evangelist who woke up in the middle of the night and saw the devil standing at the end of his bed. He said, "Oh. It's just you." And went back to sleep. He had no fear of the devil or demons at all.
 
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Solomons Porch

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hahahahahaha you sharpe my friend
Its a term for nowadays......slang
Like a boss = they way a bossman would walk into the office with confidence and everybody straightened their posture, cause the "big man" was on the scene = CONFIDENCE

With your bad self = Meaning look at you, you cool, strutting around, like the term "cool cat" = I GOT THIS, NO DOUBT

You aint lost your touch thats for sure. Whats your secret to the sharpness of your mind and skills there huh ?????

As you can see by the way i talk im a pure ole country gal......and i dont act my age, hopefully i can keep up with you at your age, Kudos !! :bow::clap::oldthumbsup:
 
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Daniel Marsh

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Yes! It can be anything you received from someone involved in occultism even if the item itself is innocent. The same guy was talking about how he was contacted by a lady being oppressed and when he asked her if she had anything in the house given to her by anyone who had any sort of involvement in occultism she said she got a bible from a lady who she thinks used to practice witchcraft. When she threw away that bible the oppression ceased.

So, it is greater is demons in the World, than Jesus and Holy Spirit in You? How can a demon have power over God' Word?
 
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Grandpa2390

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You aint lost your touch thats for sure. Whats your secret to the sharpness of your mind and skills there huh ?????

As you can see by the way i talk im a pure ole country gal......and i dont act my age, hopefully i can keep up with you at your age, Kudos !! :bow::clap::oldthumbsup:

Now if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore...

But at last, I shall reveal my secret to the world. The way I keep my mind sharp, is by never using it so that it never gets dull... ;) Amen? Sharp things go dull quicker when you use them?

All seriousness aside, however, I cannot say that I can take any credit for whatever good I am. Only the bad...

I am who I am due to nurture or nature.
In the Greek, that means the way my parents raised me, or the way God created me.
... or both... ;)

What am I? I am someone who likes to watch documentaries, listen to lots and lots of podcasts and sermons and audiobooks, and get on the internet and just randomly read about different topics on wikipedia and elsewhere. Wherever my immediate interest takes me. I also like to listen to clean comedy. (Brian Regan, Steven Wright, and others)

Add to this that I seem to have a wonderful memory for everything except for schedules... I expose myself to a lot of ideas, critically think about them, and I tend to remember them. I try to apply the ones that ought be applied.

How do I keep my mind sharp, by only using it on nontrivial things? And always sharpening it... something like that... maybe?
 
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