Hello,I know that i dont post threads on here very often,but i feel like this is something that i need to share with everyone.
15 months ago the devil and his cronies attacked me while i was out of church and weak in my faith and spewed constant blasphemous thoughts into my brain.It was terrifying and i just knew I was guilty of the unpardonable sin and therefore there was no hope for me.
I felt like i was the ONLY christian in the world to have this problem.i felt like crawling into a dark hole and staying there forever.
A few weeks later however i happened upon a webpage discussing the unpardonable sin.I discovered that i had NOT commited it.I was filled with joy.I returned to church and thought that my struggle was over and that i wouldnt have bad thoughts anymore........big mistake.
The thoughts returned and i was consumed by fear once again.I began to have thoughts such as these.
"what if that webiste was wrong?"
"what if they dont have the the truth?"
"what if they lied?"
So i decided to find a secong opinion.......bigger mistake.I soon found 3rd opinions,4th,5th,10th,20th.i listened to online sermons,read books,looked at testimonies of people who had actually been through the SAME struggle.
They all said the same thing.This process continued for 4 months.It was very depressing.I began having thoughts such as these.
"what if their relief is false,and they really did commit it?"
"what if im different?"(what a common thought)
By January ,however it appeared that i finally had braved the struggle.Everything was good,but i knew that i needed to return to God and be thankful that he helped me,and to recieve blessings that i thought were once impossible.But i didn't and became lukewarm........HUGE mistake!
By May i started to have a few bad days dealing with the thoughts and i didn't understand why.So i just ignored it......another small mistake.
Then by July i had found myself in the same situation 1 year earlier.Out of church.Once again weak in my faith,the somewhat expected happened.The struggle returned.I felt completely hopeless because i had already tried every method possible and knew that there was nothing else i could dr was there?
While i was in the shower 1 month later, i was weeping to God.i was worn out,frustrated,hopless and didn't know what to do.As i was weeping i said."Jesus, I've tried everything!".
Then i heard a still,small voice(no doubt from God)say something i will never forget.
"Not everything".
I knew what i had to do.Return to God and become refilled with the Holy Spirit.Since then i have been praying almost daily,going to church,and putting full faith in Christ.I have had a few setbacks,but i always pop right back up.
I will reveal my strategies for delivering the final blow to scrupulosity in my next posts as my laptop battery is almost out.I will return soon but until then.
Don't give up.
God Bless!
15 months ago the devil and his cronies attacked me while i was out of church and weak in my faith and spewed constant blasphemous thoughts into my brain.It was terrifying and i just knew I was guilty of the unpardonable sin and therefore there was no hope for me.
I felt like i was the ONLY christian in the world to have this problem.i felt like crawling into a dark hole and staying there forever.
A few weeks later however i happened upon a webpage discussing the unpardonable sin.I discovered that i had NOT commited it.I was filled with joy.I returned to church and thought that my struggle was over and that i wouldnt have bad thoughts anymore........big mistake.
The thoughts returned and i was consumed by fear once again.I began to have thoughts such as these.
"what if that webiste was wrong?"
"what if they dont have the the truth?"
"what if they lied?"
So i decided to find a secong opinion.......bigger mistake.I soon found 3rd opinions,4th,5th,10th,20th.i listened to online sermons,read books,looked at testimonies of people who had actually been through the SAME struggle.
They all said the same thing.This process continued for 4 months.It was very depressing.I began having thoughts such as these.
"what if their relief is false,and they really did commit it?"
"what if im different?"(what a common thought)
By January ,however it appeared that i finally had braved the struggle.Everything was good,but i knew that i needed to return to God and be thankful that he helped me,and to recieve blessings that i thought were once impossible.But i didn't and became lukewarm........HUGE mistake!
By May i started to have a few bad days dealing with the thoughts and i didn't understand why.So i just ignored it......another small mistake.
Then by July i had found myself in the same situation 1 year earlier.Out of church.Once again weak in my faith,the somewhat expected happened.The struggle returned.I felt completely hopeless because i had already tried every method possible and knew that there was nothing else i could dr was there?
While i was in the shower 1 month later, i was weeping to God.i was worn out,frustrated,hopless and didn't know what to do.As i was weeping i said."Jesus, I've tried everything!".
Then i heard a still,small voice(no doubt from God)say something i will never forget.
"Not everything".
I knew what i had to do.Return to God and become refilled with the Holy Spirit.Since then i have been praying almost daily,going to church,and putting full faith in Christ.I have had a few setbacks,but i always pop right back up.
I will reveal my strategies for delivering the final blow to scrupulosity in my next posts as my laptop battery is almost out.I will return soon but until then.
Don't give up.
God Bless!