Defining and Refining our needs

[Stanfi]

I have been doing some reading and thinking. Many times we pray for a companion or spouse, saying that we "need" them. However is this our real need for just a mask covering our real need?

Is our real need, our need to be loved, and feel that in our heart, or perhaps it is to love someone else? Or is it to have a feeling of belonging, self worth, that we matter to someone?

Perhaps we think these needs can be meet by having a significant other in our lives.

I have come to the conclusion in my life, that I need to realize my true needs and ask God to fill them, and not ask him to fill them with what I think will supply them.

 

[Greenriser]

I think we all have needs. Boundaries are a great way to enforce those needs, but we always have to ask ourselves the question "Do we really need this need?". Sometimes people may find if they have too many needs, these needs are really insecurities to hide behind. The key is to live with fundemental needs. That is the needs of food, clothes and shelter. And the most important which is love, whether that be from the past in a memory, the present, or the future. Keeping your emotions separate to your needs is the key to knowing your true needs too. God loves us though, he can influence us to know real love in our lives.

I hope I didn't go off track or generalise, but anyway there it is.

 

[Stanfi]

I will just add, sometimes I think we focus on physical needs as being the only true needs. i.e food, clothing, shelter. However, me must accept that we are emotional creatures, and we also have basic music needs, such as the need to be loved, and the need to belong.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Sometimes "needs" get confused with "wants". I can say that I need a spouse but in truth, I just really want one. I can live the rest of my life without one. My living doesn't depend on me having a spouse, like it would my need for food, water and shelter. But I think that we do have a need for love in our lives. That love comes in different ways, from family, from friends, from that special someone, from God. It's easy to fill that need with things that we have no business filling it with if it isn't filled in it's proper way. I have a cousin who, in my opinion, needs God in his life. He knows that he needs something, that he has this constant "hole" that he is trying to fill. He has tried filling it with material possesions, and that isn't satisfying that ache. He has a wife and 3 children, that isn't satisfying that ache. He won't be satisfied until he fills that need with what it is intended to be filled with-the love of God.

I am been guilty of the same thing. After being hurt in the past by someone I loved deeply, I was looking for another person to heal the wounds, fill the ache left by someone else. It wasn't until I realized that only Jesus could heal that hurt, that I started to heal. I was expecting another human to heal only what my Savior could.

 

[songz777]

Well Mrstace,
Ive been a Christian for ummm 20 yrs, in that time Ive gone from needing a companion because I felt incomplete to now being very close Jesus and still knowing that deep down in side I really need a dear spouse to PRAY & SHARE with. Share in joy & Sorrow, share in prayer for a work that we would do together. Share in human intimacy. At the moment my life I share with God, as if He were my Spouse (reverently I say this) but He knows (because Hes my best Friend) what I need, having a spouse is not an idol want, to satisfy my emotional needs etc (God does that) its deeper than that Mrstace, we are talking about the verse that’s says Its not good for man to be alone (even with a crowd you can still be lonely) Its the verse that says "Let every one have their proper gift ie: gift of Celibacy. Which I definitely aint got lol. Its about God bringing and leading us to each other, and sharing with Him as a three fold unit yet as ONE, God, She and then me. If having a spouse did not satisfy any emotional needs, mental needs, companionship needs, spiritual needs and physical needs, What would the point of us needing each other? You see, it is God who puts the desire into our hearts for a spouse, He says “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”. You see if God completely and utterly fulfilled all our needs emotionaly etc, we would have no need for companionship, love etc, but thats not how He wants it. Yes He satisfys my needs 90% time ( i never be perfect) but even when I am happy, OH how i would long to share and give all this love that God has given me to her ...How I would long to share how good God is to me with her, pray for her and with her ..do you see where I am coming from?
God satisfies me emotionally yes, but I know when He guides me to His choice that I will truly begin a new chapter in my life, and start a new ministry and new blessing.
Take care John