think about this. there are people here whom you will never see in this life, and yet they care for you. the only evidence that you have of their existance or their concern is the words they type to you.
These are flesh and blood, real, documented, alive people. And yet no matter how much they care, they cannot give you eternal life, and they will at some point fail to provide exactly what you need to hear to comfort and cheer you, or give you just the right answer to a dilema. they aren't perfect, their resources aren't endless, and they don't have all knowledge, or all the time in the world.
Only God has just what you are needing, it's always in stock, free for the asking, his line is not busy, and He's open 24/7/365 for all eternity.
faith is a heart thing, not a head thing. Faith isn't agreeing with what you know about something. Faith is built on trust, like believing that the sun will come up tomorrow.
In the middle of a snowstorm you cannot see the sun, but you can have faith that it is still there because you have previously experienced seeing it appear after the snow stops and the skies clear.
God's existance doesn't depend upon our acknowledgement or experience of Him. He could be silent for hundreds of years, and forgotten in the mind of men, and it would not change His existance or His plans. Those plans are eternal, and the last page in history is already written for us to see.
the only question that matters is where we are in those plans, not where He is, because where He is is already determined and fixed; He doesn't move and He doesn't change.
In your life He hasn't moved and He hasn't changed, and he hasn't stopped speaking to you or loving. but it is possible that you might need to open up and listen for Him, and give Him a chance to break thru the barriers that in the fear of pain and rejection, you have built around you.
try taking down one block at a time.

instead of saying "I don't believe" say "I'm willing to try to believe"