Dealing with Religious Bullies

[singlecandle]

Hi!
My parents have a friend who is very religious and believes that
attending church is wrong. Among many things she really
believes that if you attend a church you are in danger of losing
your salvation.

We use to be friends and used to talk on the phone often about Biblical
things and we never had a disagreement.
Well, about a year ago, I was going to move away with a part of my family but really wanted to stay in the same town in order to go to college. This friend had been friendly enough so I thought it would be okay
to ask if I could stay at their house at least until my parents could find a house back in town(rent is really high in this town so we couldn't find a place and our landlord's daughter wanted our house back because she couldn't afford her apartment anymore).

So...I asked her if I could stay with them-I had spent the night with them several times because I'm also friends with her daughter, so I felt fine asking. After I asked her(I was also in tears because I had to give my cat away)she coldly replied," Well, if I knew you were repentant and that you would seek God instead of worldly things I would let you, but because you aren't-then no. You just keep seeking all these worldly things."

First of all she has been to college and she hopes that her daughter will go to college, but when I told her my hope was to go to college she said I was "unrepentant".
There are a lot more discrepancies in her behavior and inconsistencies that I cannot mention but both my mom and I are starting to get the feeling that for some reason she just has decided that she does not like me very much.

She talks about people losing their salvation all the time. She has never apologized to me for what she said(even though I apologized to her for telling her she was wrong in her assessment of me) because I think she honestly still believes that I am not holy enough, and I don't really know why.

A lot more has happened like she has refused to pray with me and my family, she claims, because I told her I was a Calvinist, and she believes
that the Bible says you cannot pray with someone if you are not united on everything.

Is there anything I can say to her to show her that what she is doing is wrong and not just to say "You hurt me". That point is inconsequential and moot.

What is a smart answer, not cruel, but smart-intelligent way to say
"look, you're wrong and I hope you see that someday" or even just to show her that she is not God and that she needs to leave me alone?

Sorry for such a long post!
Thank you!

 

[WisdomTree]

Huh? This is the most confusing thing I've read ever, not criticising your writing, but more the character you are speaking is... how do I put it, strange?

Where does it say that one can only attend church if they are in danger of losing salvation?

 

[tturt]

are you living with her and her family? I did read the post - missed that part.

 

[Ark100]

OP,
Just let this person be. We are not forced to like or be friends with everyone really. Jesus even though being perfect had many who criticized Him. They even called Him a drunkard and friend of sinners.
Anyone who continuously hypes on about how more righteous they are than you is being self-righteous which is against what The Lord is for. Self righteousness dont cut it with Jesus. He is our SOLE righteousness. If we were perfect, there wouldnt be a need for Him to have died and redeemed us.

Do i want to be perfect? Absolutely not. Why? Because I have a LORD who is already in that position in my life.
Jesus is perfect and righteous therefore I am perfect and righteous. On my own i am not, but because He lives in me and I in Him, I am who He is.

I think you should stand firm on who you are in Christ and dont associate too much with people who continously put you down. Trust me there are many 'self-righteous' people out there that will try to. They are not being led by the spirit of GOD.
the Lord says "Do not give your pearls to pigs, lest they trample on it"

going to college is NOT a worldly thing. Its a great thing. JESUS didn't die so we would live like we are in the backward ages. He died so we would have everything IN ABUNDANCE. HE has paid it all.
Avoid extreme and fanatic religious people. As soon as they start to make you feel like you are in bondage, run away.

Church is not bad. even though many churches(and some people in it) have turned many true children of God away from church with their attitude, i still believe there are many good churches out there. It cant make you lose your salvation if you know who you are in Christ and what He says about you in His word.

Choose your friends wisely. goodluck

 

[singlecandle]

Huh? This is the most confusing thing I've read ever, not criticising your writing, but more the character you are speaking is... how do I put it, strange?

Where does it say that one can only attend church if they are in danger of losing salvation?

LOL...that's okay.
She quotes a lot from Revelation and claims that all churches are a part
of the "harlot of Revelation" and that is how they will lose their salvation
she says.
If it helps you understand: they were once teachers in a church
and then got really involved with discernment ministries and left-not to say that discernment ministries are bad.

are you living with her and her family? I did read the post - perhaps missed that part.

No, I don't live with them, but sometimes have to see them because
they try to invite themselves over to our place periodically, so I hide out
in the backroom-not very dignified for me to do.

 

[WisdomTree]

LOL...that's okay.
She quotes a lot from Revelation and claims that all churches are a part
of the "harlot of Revelation" and that is how they will lose their salvation
she says.
If it helps you understand: they were once teachers in a church
and then got really involved with discernment ministries and left-not to say that discernment ministries are bad.



No, I don't live with them, but sometimes have to see them because
they try to invite themselves over to our place periodically, so I hide out
in the backroom-not very dignified for me to do.

Is she an Adventist or something? Cause she sure sounds like one of them Restorationists who believe the whole Church went throught he Great Apostasy during the antiquity...

 

[Prayer Circle]

Matthew 7:21
Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

I don't think you'll ever talk that woman into realizing it's she who has the problem here.
Maybe this is God's way of showing you what not to fall into when you make your personal walk with Christ. Maybe she's an example of someone who needs salvation, because at this point she's misled, prideful to the extreme, and in need of prayer.

It could be worse!
You could be her daughter. :o Imagine the fun fun in that one.

God be with you as you find better days ahead.

Hi!
My parents have a friend who is very religious and believes that
attending church is wrong. Among many things she really
believes that if you attend a church you are in danger of losing
your salvation.

We use to be friends and used to talk on the phone often about Biblical
things and we never had a disagreement.
Well, about a year ago, I was going to move away with a part of my family but really wanted to stay in the same town in order to go to college. This friend had been friendly enough so I thought it would be okay
to ask if I could stay at their house at least until my parents could find a house back in town(rent is really high in this town so we couldn't find a place and our landlord's daughter wanted our house back because she couldn't afford her apartment anymore).

So...I asked her if I could stay with them-I had spent the night with them several times because I'm also friends with her daughter, so I felt fine asking. After I asked her(I was also in tears because I had to give my cat away)she coldly replied," Well, if I knew you were repentant and that you would seek God instead of worldly things I would let you, but because you aren't-then no. You just keep seeking all these worldly things."

First of all she has been to college and she hopes that her daughter will go to college, but when I told her my hope was to go to college she said I was "unrepentant".
There are a lot more discrepancies in her behavior and inconsistencies that I cannot mention but both my mom and I are starting to get the feeling that for some reason she just has decided that she does not like me very much.

She talks about people losing their salvation all the time. She has never apologized to me for what she said(even though I apologized to her for telling her she was wrong in her assessment of me) because I think she honestly still believes that I am not holy enough, and I don't really know why.

A lot more has happened like she has refused to pray with me and my family, she claims, because I told her I was a Calvinist, and she believes
that the Bible says you cannot pray with someone if you are not united on everything.

Is there anything I can say to her to show her that what she is doing is wrong and not just to say "You hurt me". That point is inconsequential and moot.

What is a smart answer, not cruel, but smart-intelligent way to say
"look, you're wrong and I hope you see that someday" or even just to show her that she is not God and that she needs to leave me alone?

Sorry for such a long post!
Thank you!

 

[singlecandle]

Is she an Adventist or something? Cause she sure sounds like one of them Restorationists who believe the whole Church went throught he Great Apostasy during the antiquity...

As far as I know she isn't Adventist.
She was never clear about when she thought
the apostasy happened. I personally don't think it has happened yet.
She says that the churches are a part of a "diapraxis movement"
which I really disagree with.

Matthew 7:21

Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

I don't think you'll ever talk that woman into realizing it's she who has the problem here.
Maybe this is God's way of showing you what not to fall into when you make your personal walk with Christ. Maybe she's an example of someone who needs salvation, because at this point she's misled, prideful to the extreme, and in need of prayer.

Yes, I was beginning to believe a lot of what she said and began fearing
for my life. You're right-God doesn't want that for me!

[QUOTE}It could be worse!
You could be her daughter. Imagine the fun fun in that one.[/quote]

Her daughter is just a miniature version of herself so they get along
quite well.

God be with you as you find better days ahead.

Thank you, and I'm attending church again.

 

[Pal Handy]

Hi!
My parents have a friend who is very religious and believes that
attending church is wrong. Among many things she really
believes that if you attend a church you are in danger of losing
your salvation.

We use to be friends and used to talk on the phone often about Biblical
things and we never had a disagreement.
Well, about a year ago, I was going to move away with a part of my family but really wanted to stay in the same town in order to go to college. This friend had been friendly enough so I thought it would be okay
to ask if I could stay at their house at least until my parents could find a house back in town(rent is really high in this town so we couldn't find a place and our landlord's daughter wanted our house back because she couldn't afford her apartment anymore).

So...I asked her if I could stay with them-I had spent the night with them several times because I'm also friends with her daughter, so I felt fine asking. After I asked her(I was also in tears because I had to give my cat away)she coldly replied," Well, if I knew you were repentant and that you would seek God instead of worldly things I would let you, but because you aren't-then no. You just keep seeking all these worldly things."

First of all she has been to college and she hopes that her daughter will go to college, but when I told her my hope was to go to college she said I was "unrepentant".
There are a lot more discrepancies in her behavior and inconsistencies that I cannot mention but both my mom and I are starting to get the feeling that for some reason she just has decided that she does not like me very much.

She talks about people losing their salvation all the time. She has never apologized to me for what she said(even though I apologized to her for telling her she was wrong in her assessment of me) because I think she honestly still believes that I am not holy enough, and I don't really know why.

A lot more has happened like she has refused to pray with me and my family, she claims, because I told her I was a Calvinist, and she believes
that the Bible says you cannot pray with someone if you are not united on everything.

Is there anything I can say to her to show her that what she is doing is wrong and not just to say "You hurt me". That point is inconsequential and moot.

What is a smart answer, not cruel, but smart-intelligent way to say
"look, you're wrong and I hope you see that someday" or even just to show her that she is not God and that she needs to leave me alone?

Sorry for such a long post!
Thank you!

Give her some scriptures to read....
Look up scriptures on love...

Tell her that God loves you and that you do not need to perform to earn God's love but
it is God's choice to love you and you can never deserve His love but because you believe in and
receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior,
you are in right standing with God. (see my signature line below).

I would give you scriptures but you need to find and read them for yourself.

Read the gospel of John and 1-3 John.

You need to know where you stand in your relationship with God in
Christ so that you will not be swayed by others who want you to follow themselves.

The best of preachers and teachers will always point you to a personal
relationship that you can have with Jesus Christ.

The worst will point to themselves as the ones you need to follow.

All the disciples of Christ, pointed others to Christ and encouraged them that they
too could have a relationship as real and as personal as they have through
the power of Holy Spirit.

Good preachers and teachers point to Christ but it is up to you how deep
you want to go in growing closer to God in Christ.

Forgive your friend and pray for her and grow closer to the Lord.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm confused as to why you would've been such close friends with this woman in the first place... or why you'd want to remain friends at all.

I have a feeling your background is so vastly different from anything I can relate to, that my perspective might not be helpful at all.

But just from what you've described, I would keep away from her. Permanently. I wouldn't try to argue or debate her or prove her wrong. I'd walk away and fill my life with true Christians instead of mean-spirited religious zealots.

 

[singlecandle]

I'm confused as to why you would've been such close friends with this woman in the first place... or why you'd want to remain friends at all. My brother was in the hospital and she was the only person I had to turn to-she told me that if my family got our doctrine and theology right then my brother would no longer be sick-I believed her.

I have a feeling your background is so vastly different from anything I can relate to, that my perspective might not be helpful at all.

At this point, I welcome anyone's opinion.

 

[Sketcher]

Tell her she sinned against you. Know the Bible so that when she comes at you again, prove her wrong Biblically. I'm not saying she will listen, but she deserves a chance to know the truth of her error. If she doesn't repent, and that is likely, then she'll just destroy herself. Either way, move on. Be strong, be unmoved by what she says unless it is an apology to you. Because you have not described someone who bears good fruit.

 

[BFine]

She's not friendship material...in need of prayer?
Most definitely!

Be on the lookout for a new friend with whom you
have more in common with.

 

[sdowney717]

If you still hang around with her, don't be afraid to tell her the truth, If she does not want to listen, move on and have nothing more to do with her.

You got to be on your guard against her. She sounds like the friend of the enemy, not the friend of God. She wishes to drag you into her fantasy life regarding the church and I bet she would make a good cult leader.

Jesus told His disciples when you go into a town to preach the gospel, and they refuse to listen, leave the place and even shake the dust off your feet.

Jesus does not expect you to be forced into a continual spiritual confrontation. Thank God for that!

 

[WisdomTree]

You could accuse her of heresy, but it probably won't help...

 

[fdsfndls]

Love her. As you judge so will you be judged. I don't go to church - doesn't mean I hate everybody. Churchs can destroy you, so can not forgiving.
She might just have lost her way.

 

[MercyandFaith]

Wow- I've never heard the view that attending church is wrong!

 

[WisdomTree]

Wow- I've never heard the view that attending church is wrong!

You and me both!

 

[Inkachu]

My brother was in the hospital and she was the only person I had to turn to-she told me that if my family got our doctrine and theology right then my brother would no longer be sick-I believed her..

That is SAD, and complete emotional manipulation!! I don't know if I even buy that SHE believes what she's saying, or if she's just figured out that she can manipulate people with her religious talk. I can much more easily believe that she uses her "knowledge" as a means to gain power over people. After all, if she can make someone believes SHE'S got their answer, they're going to do just about anything she suggests. Anytime someone takes their eyes off of God and puts them on someone claiming to be a prophet or someone who's really "in" with The Big Guy... it's a disaster waiting to happen.

I'd just steer clear of her, altogether.

 

[Inkachu]

Wow- I've never heard the view that attending church is wrong!

You and me both!

BUT if you were someone who wanted to control and manipulate people using a false Christianity, wouldn't you want them to NOT be in church, where they'd learn the truth, and probably figure out they needed to walk out of your life? Isolating people from sources of truth is one of the main hallmarks of a cult leader. This lady has some of those traits IMO.