Dealing With My Fundy Parents (Help!)

[Riddick]

I wonder why people get off on interpreting the bible the way they want. Like they feel powerful or something doing it. How cheesy.

Make the bible like Burger King - "Have it your way."

You might want to consider whether you'll lose financial funding from your parents if you go to college or whatever.

So you feel better saying there's no hell. Well go ahead, be that way. Whatever pleases you most. Never mind how things really are. Make sure you have things your own way.

You might also want to consider the merit of your parents opinion. They usually have a way of being right, don't they? I know mine do.

 

[Robby]

The only advice I have for you is to be grateful you're her kid and not mine.

What would you do?

 

[12volt_man]

Not our job to make sure he loves his mother. I think he has issues with his upbrining and he's concerned that they understand him. He probably feels they don't and that is a source of bitterness.

Obviously he has issues.

I don't think we should presume to understand the guy's heart after one post.

I don't presume to know his heart but he sure laid his attitude out there for us to see.

Bottom line is, if he doesn't like it then he should get out. If not, then he should respect them, their house and their beliefs.

 

[12volt_man]

What would you do?

I'd show him the door, especially if there are younger children in the house.

 

[Hydra009]

On this page, I'm sensing a very acute disconnect between what WaZoO actually said in her posts and what some other people say is going on.

She got her advice and hse says he's patched things up with his mom. Come on, people. There's no need to flame her out the WaZoO.

 

[CJ.23]

Well, on the whole, I think it's [pretty vital you don't fall out with your parents. Sure you may think their ideas are kind of wacko, and I am a bit on the liberal side myself, but 'Honour thy Father & Mother.' That's what the good book says.

Now I look at it this way. Your parents really amtter. Their theology may be horrible and repressive or wahtever, and they may be naive idiots - but I presume they love you? They have brought you up and been kind to you, and it would break their hearts if you decided to rebel against the core values they have instilled in you. If they are really fundamentalists, they may well believe you are going to hell for all eternity. Could you bear to have that happen to someone you love? In many ways questioning your sexuality, getting heavily in to drugs or alcohol or getting pregnant might be easier for them to handle. They are frightened of liosing you for ETERNITY.

OK, I'm an extreme theological liberal. I don't even believe in eternal punishment. However, I do believe taht at 18 you have loads of time to sort out your religious ideas, and going to Church with your folks, and quietly keeping your doubts to yourself, and maybe talking through them with a sympathetic pastor and letting your parents know youa re doing it will do no harm. Maybe you will convert the pastor. Maybe the pastor will persuade you of his or her position. Don't lie about what you believe , just do everything you can to reassure your folks and show them how much you love them and how much yo value their opinions and beliefs and love.

In a few years time you will probably be at university, and you may well have a place of your own. Then practice your beliefs as you like. However, one last warninmg - don't try and convert your parents to them. If theya re alrready Christians, but of a shade you don't like, unless you arwe convinced tehy may be missing out on salvation, then leave them alone. It's not easy for parents to take on new stuff, especially not from their kids. Being made to feel ignorant or unlearned never helps - and a simple childlike faith is probably much better left unsullied, than complicated with Redaction Criticism, Bultmann and Karl Barth.

At the end of the day you are all Christians - just show them you love them, and try to go along just a bit longer, and maybe God will find a way to reconcile you all.

with love
cj x

 

[HRE]

I'll spare you all the details, but we've basically just agreed that it's alright to disagree about smaller things as long as we both understand what Jesus wants for us.

And, if, for some wild reason, you would disagree with her on that? How would she react?

I'll spare you all the details, but we've basically just agreed that it's alright to disagree about smaller things as long as we both understand what Jesus wants for us.

That is lovely. Your child disagrees with you, calls you some names, so you kick him out?

I'm glad you are not my parent. Mine realize that sometimes things are said in the heat of an argument that are not meant, and I understand that, too. For instance, I was questioning my father's opinion of what he wanted me to do recently, and I said: "Just make it make sense to me, and I'll be happy to do it." He replied that "It doesn't have to make sense to you!"

That was the first time he said anything like that to me, and it was probably more painful than disownment to me. However, I understand (a few days later) that he was upset, I was being stubborn, and we both said things we did not need to.

We're healed.

With your response, I doubt you'd see the child again. For a long, long time.

 

[Robby]

WaZOO is a lady.

 

[Praxiteles]

Uh, for those people who keep referring to WaZoO with masculine pronouns, I think it should be drawn to your attention that that particular poster sports two X chromosomes. Not a Y in sight.

Thank you. We now return you to your regular viewing.

 

[Praxiteles]

And Robby beat me to it.

 

[Praxiteles]

I'd show him the door, especially if there are younger children in the house.

Why?

That doesn't sound like very loving behaviour to me. And what kind of example would you setting for these hypothetical younger children - that there is no love strong enough to prevent you from rejecting them?

 

[Hydra009]

Oops. I changed it.

 

[WaZoO]

Sheesh, 12volt_man and Riddick, you guys are way too harsh! I don't hate my parents or anything, I just had a quarrel with my mom, isn't that normal? We're all patched up now, I don't actually think my mom is a "nimrod" or anything. Just some just angry words, everything is fine for now. My dad will have to hear the story too, but I'm sure we'll get through it though.

I wonder why people get off on interpreting the bible the way they want. Like they feel powerful or something doing it. How cheesy.

Make the bible like Burger King - "Have it your way."

You might want to consider whether you'll lose financial funding from your parents if you go to college or whatever.

So you feel better saying there's no hell. Well go ahead, be that way. Whatever pleases you most. Never mind how things really are. Make sure you have things your own way.

You might also want to consider the merit of your parents opinion. They usually have a way of being right, don't they? I know mine do.

I'm not just interpereting it how I want, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and studying science. I look at the bible the way I do for a reason. I'm not just trying to make myself feel good by saying there's no hell, it's just that hell seems like a man made idea, not a Godly one. My parent aren't going to disown me because I disagree with some of the things they believe. If nobody disagreed, people would have never made any progress. What makes you so positive your interpereting the bible the way God wanted you to?

One more clarification, I'm not a male, why does everybody think that I am?

 

[Robby]

Post a pic and set us straight!

 

[12volt_man]

OK. I went back and read more of Wazoo's posts.

As much as i disagree with what she said in her OP, I will give her credit for trying to be more respectful toward her mother.

 

[CJ.23]

I don't think you are male! The little pink thingy gave it away!

BTW, as to interpreting the Bible as we choose - it is hard to get a consensus anywhere at any time on what the Bible actually says on any issue. You may appeal to the plain sense of Scripture, but there are whole passages I have not got the slightest clue as to what is meant, and others where only knowledge of history or some basic Greek lets me catch on at all.

I am afraid that is where the Catholics and the Orthodox Churches win hands down - they realised quite early that unbridled reading of the Bible and theological speculation would lead to chaos and anarchy. Please note that a literal reading of the Bible would result in Wazoo being taken down to the village elders to be stoned for disobedience to her parents, at least if she was male. Ditto in the case of drunkeness. If you don't think that bit applies anymore, what has happened to your plain sense of Scripture?

I find that most fundamentalists ultimately interpret the Bible just as much as most Liberals; it's just their interpretation that varies. The Catholic or the Orthodox has the Church lay down an interpretation, so at least heresy and true belief are clearly lain out for all to see. We all have to interpret the Bible; some interpretations may be closer to the original meaning of the text than others, though of course that is of dubious value when dealing with say Prophecy.

Nonetheless Wazoo, good on you for sorting it out with your mum!

cj x

 

[12volt_man]

Why?

Because if an eighteen year old, who should be out on their own soon, anyway, has no respect for the house or those in authority over them then it's time for them to go out on their own and to face the consequences of their behavior.

That doesn't sound like very loving behaviour to me. And what kind of example would you setting for these hypothetical younger children - that there is no love strong enough to prevent you from rejecting them?

Discipline is not rejection.

 

[Praxiteles]

Because if an eighteen year old, who should be out on their own soon, anyway, has no respect for the house or those in authority over them then it's time for them to go out on their own and to face the consequences of their behavior.

Disagreement with a belief system and an argument - is that having no respect? I wouldn't have thought so.

In any case, there's a difference between someone going out on their own and being kicked out.

Discipline is not rejection.

I'm sorry - discipline? Expelling someone from your presence is rejection.

And again I ask - what kind of example would be being set for the other youngsters?

 

[Robby]

edit!

 

[Robby]

I'm sorry - discipline? Expelling someone from your presence is rejection.

Well, you become like the god you adore.