Dealing with difficult people...the Lord's way

[Shulamite]

Okay. Just a quick note here. (Possibly someone else can share their experiences too??? hint, hint!) LOL

My week this week has been very challenging. My job has been challenging and also I dealt with a very unexpected and uncomfortable situation with someone I work with and it caught me so off-guard that I struggled to get through the day without feeling melancholy and awkward.

The Lord has shown me time and time again that when we "use a soft answer to turn away wrath", it DOES work! Our flesh wants to respond back to a person's rudeness or impatience, but He commands us not to.

Proverbs says that if we treat a person kindly who is being unkind, we will "heap burning coals on their heads."

That is what happened yesterday. I still feel "off" about facing this person at work today, but the Lord is in control of that.

Anyone care to share any experiences you've been through in life where even if YOU were unduly mistreated, (without cause) and you obeyed the Lord and responded in kindness and a soft answer, it made the other person feel ashamed of their bad behavior? Boy, our flesh wants to "give as good as we get", huh??? but when we don't, the Lord is honored.

 

[Michele B]

Sorry no one responded yet to you, Shulamite.

I would like to share that I understand dealing with difficult people! Your attitude often determines theirs! Meaning that "soft answer" stuff really DOES defuse a situation!

I am actually dealing with a somewhat "difficult" person as well. It's a bit complicated, but it's a teen from our church. Our church is very small, and our youth group and church are all blended together. I know that sounds like a good thing, but the problem is it seems like there are more "youth" than - well, let's just say "older" folks (like me!). Don't get me wrong, I love youth, I have always been in youth work, love to see them grow in the knowledge of Christ, etc. It's just that - well, I guess I really disagree with the way this "youth group" is being brought along.

The young man who is leading it (AND our church) is very soft-spoken and undemanding in his ways. I feel like there's just too much "freedom" with the youth. I can't really explain. The youth kind of act like they just know so much (I know, I know - that's their AGE talking!), but it's deeper than that. They act like they KNOW so much about the Bible. KNow what I mean? Almost like we're all too OLD to teach them anything!

They act like they've got it all figured out, and they can teach us stuff, and sometimes, well - what they teach US, or seems like what they are understanding is off, somehow. And yet they don't want to be taught. It's like they look to him (their 'leader') to tell them what is right or wrong, rather than get it from anyone else. This bothers me, cause lately, it seems like his teaching is taking a little turn off base, too! I don't want to be a part of any teaching that is not totally Bibllical, but he doesn't seem to realize or want to hear that he's not right. ANy time we try to discuss it, he confuses things with scripture to prove his way, and then wiggles around our way, until everything is MORE confused.

I don't know. I just don't seem to think things are where they should be, and I think the youth are getting a wrong message, but can't really put my finger on it. They just seem arrogant and - almost belligerant - if you try to teach them something against what HE has said. One girl, in particular! Most of the other two or three I've had issues with, we've been able to work out.

But this one girl, she seems like she's playing a ROLE. I don't believe she's saved at all, and if you try to correct her, she acts all like, "Well, *I'm* not like that! I love Jesus sooo much! I wouldn't do something agsinst Him." Meanwhile, I KNOW she isn't walking a christian walk!

What to do?

 

[SeraphimsCherub]

The Goodness of the LORD always leads us into situations of humility,and contrition in one form,or another. Though it hurt's our flesh in the proud moment of the god of this world,where as of now in this realm of life the LORD has given us shortly to dwell. The eternal rewards our spirit's in CHRIST reap,and how HE causes us to even cling unto HIM more...are exceeding great,and priceless.


Blessings...
SC

 

[Shulamite]

Thanks for sharing Michele B. That is a tough situation. Thankfully when we become frustrated over a circumstance or with difficult people, we know that He "works all things together for good"...even these frustrating situations with others. He is teaching me this daily!

Yes, SeraphimsCherub, the Lord uses people, perfectly-timed, to humble us! I Love His Sovereignty! ( oh boy, don't get me started on THAT, right?

 

[If Not For Grace]

We must learn to act rather than react. Not everyone you will encounter will be a christian and our policy whoudl be one of attraction. The non-christian should look at the christian and say "I want a life like that", we should be happy, joyous and in good spirit.

When we encounter hostility we should QTIP (Quit taking it personally). I have some "pre packaged" responses that I use to diffuse certain situations--One is:

"You may be right, I'll have to think about that" this will usually bring a arugmentative situation back down from a boil to a simmer.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is another.."If I have offended you, I assure you it was unintentional, please forgive the offense, how can I make it up to you?"

You know the people you will likey encounter on a regular basis..Think of some things you might say in advance.

A compliment goes a long way with those in public service, like cashiers, waiters, and those who work in "complaint" departments..

I can not worry to much about the opinion of others if they are determined to be negative. I do also believe in expressing opinions, if you have hurt my feelings I may choose to tell you just that.

Or if you are being rude I may say "your behavior is uncalled for even if your opinion may be valid, can we not be reasonable at least", or "could we use our indoor voices, please"...

I also tell some "I do not speak to you (curse you,etc) like that, and I would appreciate it if you would return the courtesy".

Sometimes I just say " I can see you are in a difficult time and I will come back/see you later"..

Remain calm and there is seldom a need to raise a voice...You can't plan for every occasion, but you can get a general attitude about dealing with difficult people that will aid you as you encounter them. Sometimes I just have to keep quiet and say to myself..."This battle is not mine"..smile an go on.

Practice helps

 

[Shulamite]

We must learn to act rather than react. Not everyone you will encounter will be a christian and our policy whoudl be one of attraction. The non-christian should look at the christian and say "I want a life like that", we should be happy, joyous and in good spirit.

When we encounter hostility we should QTIP (Quit taking it personally). I have some "pre packaged" responses that I use to diffuse certain situations--One is:

"You may be right, I'll have to think about that" this will usually bring a arugmentative situation back down from a boil to a simmer.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is another.."If I have offended you, I assure you it was unintentional, please forgive the offense, how can I make it up to you?"

You know the people you will likey encounter on a regular basis..Think of some things you might say in advance.

A compliment goes a long way with those in public service, like cashiers, waiters, and those who work in "complaint" departments..

I can not worry to much about the opinion of others if they are determined to be negative. I do also believe in expressing opinions, if you have hurt my feelings I may choose to tell you just that.

Or if you are being rude I may say "your behavior is uncalled for even if your opinion may be valid, can we not be reasonable at least", or "could we use our indoor voices, please"...

I also tell some "I do not speak to you (curse you,etc) like that, and I would appreciate it if you would return the courtesy".

Sometimes I just say " I can see you are in a difficult time and I will come back/see you later"..

Remain calm and there is seldom a need to raise a voice...You can't plan for every occasion, but you can get a general attitude about dealing with difficult people that will aid you as you encounter them. Sometimes I just have to keep quiet and say to myself..."This battle is not mine"..smile an go on.

Practice helps

Exactly. I agree. The Lord has had me do the same. Last week I made a judgement call while on the job and the person I worked with was VERY impatient and rude, and it came out of no-where. My response was, "Well, thanks for showing me. I apologize. At least I've learned from this experience and won't let it happen again. Have a good day." and the person actually became quiet and after a half hour or so said, "Sorry"....in a very sheepish voice! Even if I felt "awkward" for the rest of the day, the Lord used it to show me that kind answer does indeed turn away wrath and He humbled me greatly, which I need.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Once you have made the appropriate reply (or done your best) be content with yourself. There is no need to feel awkward for someone else's inappropriate behaviors. We can be at peace when we have disengaged from conflict or strife.

 

[Martinius]

Exactly. I agree. The Lord has had me do the same. Last week I made a judgement call while on the job and the person I worked with was VERY impatient and rude, and it came out of no-where. My response was, "Well, thanks for showing me. I apologize. At least I've learned from this experience and won't let it happen again. Have a good day." and the person actually became quiet and after a half hour or so said, "Sorry"....in a very sheepish voice! Even if I felt "awkward" for the rest of the day, the Lord used it to show me that kind answer does indeed turn away wrath and He humbled me greatly, which I need.

That was a great response and a good lesson. In my decades of experience in dealing with the public in various situations and having responsbility for providing services to people, I learned that arguing with a person (even if they are wrong) and raising your voice will not diffuse the problem, but only intensify it. If someone raises their voice to you, you lower yours. It is rare that someone will continue to yell when everyone else around them is speaking normally or softly. They will usually calm down. It is not easy to continue a one way fight.

Second, as you did and others here have suggested, responding neutrally will usually help calm the situation. To deny the problem or that is "our" fault will only escalate the matter. You handled that one situation quite commendably. Sometimes it is just a matter of acknowledging what the other person said and letting them know that you take their advice or complaint or concern seriously.

For those on the receiving end of what seem like only problems or complaints, it is important they get positive feedback once in a while. Two personal examples:

Several years ago I was driving home from a conference and stopped at a McDonald's along the freeway. The young lady who served me was the most upbeat, friendly and personable fast food employee I had ever met. After I was served, I asked to speak to the manager. The woman who came up looked at me like "Okay, here's an unhappy customer who is going to complain about something." But when I simply told her that her young employee had provided the best service I had ever received at a fast food place and would have hired her away in an instant if my workplace was not 200 miles away, she beamed and thanked me. In effect, I was also complimenting her, since she was her boss and likely the person who hired and trained her.

Another time at a car rental place at a large airport, the service was way above the norm, very professional and efficient. On my way to the car, I saw a person behind a desk who seemed to be "in charge". When I approached him and asked if he was the person I should talk to about my rental, he too changed his expression and demeanor to one of preparing for a barrage of complaints. Then I told him that the service I had just received was fantastic and I would use his agency again, he relaxed, smiled, thanked me and shook my hand. Total change of demeanor.

In these and other situations where I was on the receiving end, I have found how important it is to respond rationally and calmly, no matter what. I think you have the right idea.

 

[stormdancer0]

When I became a pastor, I had one man in our church get me alone, and rail at me for 45 minutes about how evil just the idea of a female pastor was, and how I was absconding with a man's authority, and had obviously been listening to the devil and not God because God didn't call women to pastor. It went on and on. He even said that women were useless to lead a congregation for one week of the month, due to PMS.

I disagreed politely, but left very upset. Against my own feelings, I dropped the matter.

A year and a half later, he came and acknowledged my calling, and my authority as pastor. I never said anything about it to him, but just let him observe. I don't know what he saw that made him change his mind, but I'm glad I let God take care of it.

 

[Shulamite]

That was a great response and a good lesson. In my decades of experience in dealing with the public in various situations and having responsbility for providing services to people, I learned that arguing with a person (even if they are wrong) and raising your voice will not diffuse the problem, but only intensify it. If someone raises their voice to you, you lower yours. It is rare that someone will continue to yell when everyone else around them is speaking normally or softly. They will usually calm down. It is not easy to continue a one way fight.

Second, as you did and others here have suggested, responding neutrally will usually help calm the situation. To deny the problem or that is "our" fault will only escalate the matter. You handled that one situation quite commendably. Sometimes it is just a matter of acknowledging what the other person said and letting them know that you take their advice or complaint or concern seriously.

For those on the receiving end of what seem like only problems or complaints, it is important they get positive feedback once in a while. Two personal examples:

Several years ago I was driving home from a conference and stopped at a McDonald's along the freeway. The young lady who served me was the most upbeat, friendly and personable fast food employee I had ever met. After I was served, I asked to speak to the manager. The woman who came up looked at me like "Okay, here's an unhappy customer who is going to complain about something." But when I simply told her that her young employee had provided the best service I had ever received at a fast food place and would have hired her away in an instant if my workplace was not 200 miles away, she beamed and thanked me. In effect, I was also complimenting her, since she was her boss and likely the person who hired and trained her.

Another time at a car rental place at a large airport, the service was way above the norm, very professional and efficient. On my way to the car, I saw a person behind a desk who seemed to be "in charge". When I approached him and asked if he was the person I should talk to about my rental, he too changed his expression and demeanor to one of preparing for a barrage of complaints. Then I told him that the service I had just received was fantastic and I would use his agency again, he relaxed, smiled, thanked me and shook my hand. Total change of demeanor.

In these and other situations where I was on the receiving end, I have found how important it is to respond rationally and calmly, no matter what. I think you have the right idea.

Thanks for sharing. Yes. I have done the same with fast food workers or restaurant workers and personally complimented them to their boss/manager. It's a good feeling to compliment someone when they are expecting a complaint. I can relate to your experiences. It's the Lord's Spirit in us doing that and it's wonderful. Thank you for the encouragement, I have noticed that when we respond calmly and with a smile, the other person feels ashamed of their behavior, if not right away, then perhaps later. If we respond the way we hate in others, we will soon adopt the same behavior.

 

[Shulamite]

When I became a pastor, I had one man in our church get me alone, and rail at me for 45 minutes about how evil just the idea of a female pastor was, and how I was absconding with a man's authority, and had obviously been listening to the devil and not God because God didn't call women to pastor. It went on and on. He even said that women were useless to lead a congregation for one week of the month, due to PMS.

I disagreed politely, but left very upset. Against my own feelings, I dropped the matter.

A year and a half later, he came and acknowledged my calling, and my authority as pastor. I never said anything about it to him, but just let him observe. I don't know what he saw that made him change his mind, but I'm glad I let God take care of it.

God will indeed put us where He calls us and if it's His decree for you and His plan, then no one can stop that. God ordains all of our lives from before we were born (Psalm 139), so His plan will be carried out. Deborah was not in leadership over Israel by her own doing. God appointed her otherwise she would not have been there. She certainly did not usurp her authority, it was God given. Although, I do not fight either with men in the churc over leadership roles because the most important thing is our love relationship with Jesus, not striving over position, but if God decides in His will to put me somewhere for Him, and it's His work, then it will happen. I leave it in His hands, as you said, to take care of it all. Meanwhile, I enjoy my secret place with Him every day, knowing that itself is the highest calling: To be in intimate fellowship with our Bridegroom and to receive those personal touches from Him!

 

[x141]

We respond according to the image we bow down to ... whether from without or from within, this is the process. Every wandering (between our ears) due to an image that comes from without has it's purpose, and this is to bring us to a rest which is the expected end.

I am amazed at the process from the height I see it from. Multiple times a day I am given a chance to deal out my bread/manna to the poor. They must eat of it until they are freed from the bondage of this great poverty we have laid on ourselves, I/we are not complete without the one that was lost in all Gods children.

The snare can cleary be seen in the garden secnario (and by the mechanics of this throughtout all things including scripture), any separation with God makes him our adversary which brings confusion of face.

God does not except anything less than himself and this is the essence of the relationship between the father and the son ... our mother, who proceeds from the father as the commandment of life (when He is come), not any longer being separated from him, her law finding rest in the son who is equal with the father whom as three feasts are summed up as the person of God.

To borrow a passage from a book never finished ... This is a dance that is as old as time itself ...

 

[x141]

We must learn to act rather than react. Not everyone you will encounter will be a christian and our policy whoudl be one of attraction. The non-christian should look at the christian and say "I want a life like that", we should be happy, joyous and in good spirit.

When we encounter hostility we should QTIP (Quit taking it personally). I have some "pre packaged" responses that I use to diffuse certain situations--One is:

"You may be right, I'll have to think about that" this will usually bring a arugmentative situation back down from a boil to a simmer.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is another.."If I have offended you, I assure you it was unintentional, please forgive the offense, how can I make it up to you?"

You know the people you will likey encounter on a regular basis..Think of some things you might say in advance.

A compliment goes a long way with those in public service, like cashiers, waiters, and those who work in "complaint" departments..

I can not worry to much about the opinion of others if they are determined to be negative. I do also believe in expressing opinions, if you have hurt my feelings I may choose to tell you just that.

Or if you are being rude I may say "your behavior is uncalled for even if your opinion may be valid, can we not be reasonable at least", or "could we use our indoor voices, please"...

I also tell some "I do not speak to you (curse you,etc) like that, and I would appreciate it if you would return the courtesy".

Sometimes I just say " I can see you are in a difficult time and I will come back/see you later"..

Remain calm and there is seldom a need to raise a voice...You can't plan for every occasion, but you can get a general attitude about dealing with difficult people that will aid you as you encounter them. Sometimes I just have to keep quiet and say to myself..."This battle is not mine"..smile an go on.

Practice helps

If we don't agree with our adversary, this disagreement sends us before the judge where we are measured and found wanting. This all happening between our ears, where we become captvie to till we pay to the uttermost farthing. It's not about that which is without, good or bad, it's about the reationship with our father which is within whereby we become a tree of life to others.

 

[stormdancer0]

If we don't agree with our adversary, this disagreement sends us before the judge where we are measured and found wanting. This all happening between our ears, where we become captvie to till we pay to the uttermost farthing. It's not about that which is without, good or bad, it's about the reationship with our father which is within whereby we become a tree of life to others.

Surely you do not advise that we are to agree with someone, even when they are, for instance, teaching false doctrine, or lying? There are ways to disagree with courtesy and tact, and that will calm a situation down without going to the extent of agreeing with a lie. Even Jesus was confrontational at times, and there are times when we are called to tell the truth even if it causes friction. I would rather state my disagreement and walk away from a situation than to accede to a lie.

 

[Shulamite]

Surely you do not advise that we are to agree with someone, even when they are, for instance, teaching false doctrine, or lying? There are ways to disagree with courtesy and tact, and that will calm a situation down without going to the extent of agreeing with a lie. Even Jesus was confrontational at times, and there are times when we are called to tell the truth even if it causes friction. I would rather state my disagreement and walk away from a situation than to accede to a lie.

Agreed.

 

[x141]

Surely you do not advise that we are to agree with someone, even when they are, for instance, teaching false doctrine, or lying? There are ways to disagree with courtesy and tact, and that will calm a situation down without going to the extent of agreeing with a lie. Even Jesus was confrontational at times, and there are times when we are called to tell the truth even if it causes friction. I would rather state my disagreement and walk away from a situation than to accede to a lie.

No, this is the perception you have of what I said.

Let me ask you ... by it's fruit, what has the teaching that is born out of the church as a whole for the last 2000 years birthed, unity or division.

What does an enemy do ...

Shall I judge the bride of Christ to be an enemy of God, and if I do, based on the fruit that I see, is my judgment true or a lie.

The image of that which is without becomes our adversary and our thoughts the prision we are held captive in till we have fully paid , regardless whether someone is offering praise or an insult, makes no difference.

Let your words be God's words, not driven by the image that is without, and these words will become the life of those who hear and unburden them of the lie they have covered themselves with being spoken in Love from wherein you are now seated.


I have heard it said, some twentyfive or so years ago at Elim, that, If you are one step ahead of everybody your are a leader, but if you are two steps ahead of everybody you're a heritic.

 

[stormdancer0]

You said,

If we don't agree with our adversary, this disagreement sends us before the judge where we are measured and found wanting.

I do not think my perception is off in saying that the above words indicate that if we disagree with our adversary, we will be found wanting by the judge.

And I don't think you have the authority to judge the Bride of Christ.

What you say is double-speak, and makes no sense.

The image of that which is without becomes our adversary and our thoughts the prision we are held captive in till we have fully paid , regardless whether someone is offering praise or an insult, makes no difference.

Nothing I said mentioned images, prisons of thought, or anything else in this quote. You offer all this high sounding gobbledygook, and sound all spiritual, but your words make no sense, and offer no truth that is discernible. How can anyone learn from it?

 

[x141]

To answer the question, whether my judgment would be true or a lie ... it would be a lie.

If you have not begun to understand the process of the garden/time, then you will not understand the parable of the adversary.

To learn from anything that is eternal, we must obey the commandment of our father and not eat of our own reasoning, it is in becoming desolate that we bring forth.

 

[x141]

Every encounter becomes a garden secnario, good or bad, or indifferent. The Bible teaches the mechanics of this secnario, a sending forth, a point in time, and a returning, which is the testimony of Jesus Christ, and the sum of the whole being the end and beginning of this realm we live in.

Here is some of the ways nakedness is revealed, concering the two weeks of a woman's labor ... in picture.

1Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying,
2"Speak to the children of Israel, saying: ‘If a woman has conceived, and borne a male child, then she shall be unclean seven days; as in the days of her customary impurity she shall be unclean.
3And on the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.
4She shall then continue in the blood of her purification thirty-three days. She shall not touch any hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary until the days of her purification are fulfilled.
5‘But if she bears a female child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her customary impurity, and she shall continue in the blood of her purification sixty-six days.

One week for a male child plus thirty three days to complete forty days of impurity. Or the introduction of the first forty being masculine.

Two weeks for the female child!! Plus sixty six days to complete eighty days of impurity. Revealing the second forty as feminine.

Now look at (some of ) the various times of forty days and forty years to see the same revealing.

Moses goes up to Mount Sinai during the whole ten commandments thing and fast forty days and forty nights. As we all know the children of Israel corrupted themselves rebelled against God because of the golden calf and Moses has to come down and bring order to the camp.

If one reads the account in Exodus, Moses destroys the golden calf and the Levite's go into the midst of Israel and kill three thousand of their brethren.

If one reads the Deuteronomy account Moses comes down from the Mount breaks the two stones and falls down and fasts another forty days and forty nights. A total of Eighty days of fasting.

So we see the literal application of the forty and eighty days explained in the Word. The idea that forty days is masculine and eighty days is feminine will be seen more clearly...
It is at this time that when the Children of Israel sin with the golden calf that the Levite's go throughout the camp and kill three thousand people.

Had the Children of Israel not sinned with the golden calf then there would have only been forty days of fasting and therefore the first born would have remained as God's choice or the revealed masculine, but they sinned and Moses fasted another forty days a total of eighty days and the firstborn was rejected and the Levite's were taken or chosen instead of God's firstborn son which is feminine because this act introduces the system of religion that one must perform to please God ...

Let's look at another example ...

When the Children of Israel went to spy out the land of promise they looked over the land for forty days. We all know this story... The spies came back with a bad report and convinced the people not to go into the land, God was very angry as one can imagine ...

The first forty days was the time of impurity for a son... But they rebelled and were forced to roam the wilderness for forty years ... Eighty, the time of impurity for a girl ...

We see here the introduction of the feminine ...

Remember when Adam needed a helpmate? God opened a door with a rib and revealed the woman, not another person but duality in Adam his mind will and intellect cast down into this worldly realm. As this begins to open up we begin to see that the first forty is masculine, but if there is rebellion then the second forty is revealed which is feminine and reveals our nakedness...

When the Children of Israel refused to enter into the land after forty days of spying, a door was opened. (Something much bigger is going on here. You must read the preceding chapters in Numbers before the Children of Israel refused to enter into the land. They complain before God and God sends them manna which is bread from heaven and quail which is meat that flies in the heavens, before they refused to enter into the land. I don't want to get side tracked.) Let's go back to a door being opened. They rebelled, they rebelled, they rebelled... Rebellion reveals the second forty!!!


As previously stated the first forty is masculine and the second forty reveals the feminine.

Our first known forty is with Noah when it rained for forty days and forty nights. So far we see the masculine, because there is no rebellion, or is there? After the flood all get off the Ark and Noah becomes a farmer and plants a vineyard and gets drunk. Ham uncovers his father's nakedness... I explained previously.
Look what is happening here. From Adam to Noah we have ten. Noah has three sons, masculine. However one son (Ham) uncovers his father's nakedness, just like Adam and Eve's nakedness was uncovered. Just like in the Book of Revelations a third of the stars have just been cast down, two sons didn't see their father's nakedness and one son did, so here we begin to see the introduction of the feminine. Ham's son Canaan is cursed or we have the revealing of the forty and this gives birth to the line of the feminine or the immoral woman. Eve?
The next time we see a forty is when the Children of Israel come out of Egypt/Israel/flesh... They were in captivity for four hundred and thirty years.

God rebelled against all of humanity by separating out a people unto Himself or as God called them His firstborn son, singular. The thirty is a number that is one tenth of three hundred ...

Remember the Ark? Three hundred cubits long? Thirty is one tenth of three hundred. Enoch walked with God three hundred years or can we say that Enoch walked (three hundred) the perfect will of God and the thirty is the tithe of our individual walk to reveal that perfect walk/revealing in us.

Enoch walked out the revealing of one forty, for God took him.

So now the children of Israel are in the wilderness... Moses fasts on the mount for forty days and forty nights. The Children of Israel rebel and worship the golden calf, a door is opened. Moses comes down from the mount and fast another forty days and forty nights... We see the woman being revealed ... God rejects His Firstborn son whom He delivered out of the bondage of Israel and takes the Levite's, the priesthood, and the law instead. But it gets a little better ... Because hidden in the dimensions of the Tabernacle of Moses is the revealing of the sixty six. Or the number left over from the first two weeks of uncleanness of a woman who gave birth to a daughter.

Each time we see two forties we see a casting down.
So while in the wilderness the spies spy out the land for forty days, masculine ... But they rebel and out of fear they don't enter into the land, so they spend forty years in the wilderness revealing the eighty or feminine.

So now the Children of Israel enter into a land peopled with the curse of Canaan from the first round of forties with Noah ... etc. etc. etc.

When Adam went into a deep sleep and his rib was taken that was a forty ... When they, Adam and the woman ate from the Tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil, their eyes were opened that was the second forty... Revealing their nakedness ... Noah's son Ham as well.

The summary is this ... If you have not had the son revealed in you, then you don't really know your father, a father is known by his son ... things are much bigger then our little insights into this realm we have always been in, and am coming to see. A verse like " those that do not have the son do not have the father" ... is meant to separate you, in this your nakedness is revealed and the need because of this thought, a redeeming of the thought, or the one that was lost, or what we thought that we lost, we opposed ourselves, by taking thought, and not obeying the commandment of the father, but this is how it was supposed to be ... though he slay me, yet will I trust in him, he has wounded us and he will heal us, this is learned, every seed begins in death or the eve ... ning.

Hope this helped ...