Daycare

[tonya]

So...are their any other parents out there that HAVE to use DAYCARE??? My daughter goes to daycare b/c I HAVE to work...I wish I could stay home with her until she starts school, but at the present time that is just not an option..my mother HAS to work so she can't stay home with her and my Grandparents(who kept me and virtually raised me) are just too old to handle her ALL day...She goes to a wonderful daycare that a lady has inside her home...she has about 12 kids..maybe a little less and a helper..she and her helper are wondeful christian women and I know Macy is well taken care of and that she is loved and she loves going there. I just feel guilty that she has to go..are their other parents out there that have gone through this? I pick her up as soon as I get off of work and she is ALWAYS with me unless I am at work or her NANA wants to spend quality time with her. Just wanted to hear from others that are in this difficult situation.

 

[LadyDJ]

being a single parent, I had no choice but to rely on a daycare before my kids started school. And I feel very fortunate to have found one that provided excellent care. To this day my daughters will go up and hug one of their old "teachers" from the daycare when we run into them while out and about.

 

[Messenger30]

So...are their any other parents out there that HAVE to use DAYCARE??? My daughter goes to daycare b/c I HAVE to work...I wish I could stay home with her until she starts school, but at the present time that is just not an option..my mother HAS to work so she can't stay home with her and my Grandparents(who kept me and virtually raised me) are just too old to handle her ALL day...She goes to a wonderful daycare that a lady has inside her home...she has about 12 kids..maybe a little less and a helper..she and her helper are wondeful christian women and I know Macy is well taken care of and that she is loved and she loves going there. I just feel guilty that she has to go..are their other parents out there that have gone through this? I pick her up as soon as I get off of work and she is ALWAYS with me unless I am at work or her NANA wants to spend quality time with her. Just wanted to hear from others that are in this difficult situation.

I understand this is hard for a while I did take my children to daycare (my older ones years ago) but now I have a licensed daycare in my home that I have had the past 9 yrs. The kids love it here and I love them. They miss their parents when they first leave but then they get busy with their friends, breakfast, cartoons, outside, preschool time, lunch, nap, snack and before they know it mom/dad are back. They love interracting with the other children and I think it gives them even more self-confidance that I love them...I am not their relative and I still love them. Kids actually get something more by going to daycare if they have one with loving caring people. My 4 year old on Saturday mornings misses the daycare kids and the fun they have together and our preschool. Kids love being home with their moms but their is only so much they can do with mom....at daycare they have all their little buddies. It is great to see mom when she comes back and sometimes it is sad to see her leave but it is fun for the children to be together and have the love of their daycare provider.

Love and God Bless,
Messenger

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

So...are their any other parents out there that HAVE to use DAYCARE??? My daughter goes to daycare b/c I HAVE to work...I wish I could stay home with her until she starts school, but at the present time that is just not an option..my mother HAS to work so she can't stay home with her and my Grandparents(who kept me and virtually raised me) are just too old to handle her ALL day...She goes to a wonderful daycare that a lady has inside her home...she has about 12 kids..maybe a little less and a helper..she and her helper are wondeful christian women and I know Macy is well taken care of and that she is loved and she loves going there. I just feel guilty that she has to go..are their other parents out there that have gone through this? I pick her up as soon as I get off of work and she is ALWAYS with me unless I am at work or her NANA wants to spend quality time with her. Just wanted to hear from others that are in this difficult situation.

I'm just going into this phase with my baby. Like you, given the choice I would be at home right now, but I have to work for now.

I'm going through a roller coaster of emotions right now. I've gradually introduced it to her last week which went well and put hers and my mind at peace. The place is really really nice and their approach with the kids are the same as mine at home - very loving and lots of fun. So last Friday I was quite positive about it.

But today, I just feel like crying. I'm looking across at my little one sleeping peacefully in her crib and .... I dunno.... it's hard. I guess it doesn't help me dealing with a bereavement in the family and thinking about the fact that our time on this earth is fleeting. But I know that L-rd is our rock and He only places on us what we can bear. Today I just wish she could be with me at work but that would be hard since I work in a High school.

So right now, I know that she'll be ok but it hitting me today that I won't be with her for possibly 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. It will be the longest she's ever been away from me.

 

[cinni]

I used daycare with my daughter before she started school it defeniatly did not have any residual effects on her in fact it was good because it gave us both a break and I think she appreciated it as much as i did at the time although I didn't work I had to use daycare because i needed the rest (my daughter has adhd - which makes her very full on all the time).

I had my son in daycare for a short time to but he got upset something chronic and it just seemed kinder to take him out of it although i will prolly end up going through the same thing again when he starts kindy.

cinni

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

My son was in daycare part time while I finished my Bachelors and M.S. Fortunately, I found a temporary job where I get to keep my two kids with me and I feel so blessed.

Just make sure you've found the best daycare provider you possibly could find. I had a problem with one lady and it was awful and I never would have known if I hadn't 'stumbled' across the problem.

Sounds as if you are doing the right thing and your daughter is blessed to have you as a mother.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Thanks OreGal

 

[Crofter]

Lotuspetal_... in the UK if you work 15 hours a week you can supliment your income with family tax credit and live off a decent wage without having to put yout kid in care for so long. I don't know if you've considered that option.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Lotuspetal_... in the UK if you work 15 hours a week you can supliment your income with family tax credit and live off a decent wage without having to put yout kid in care for so long. I don't know if you've considered that option.

Thanks Crofter, yeah I have but my problem is my profession limits me to working part time hours (very few vacancies like that). All the female teachers I know had the same problem in terms of the hours they work. Our typical work day starts at 8am but doesn't realistically finish until 5pm if we're lucky not to have detentions. I felt for one lady last term, who had the same hours as me but who had to leave her 12 week old in the care of others. I was blessed to have left the profession and then fall pregnant while I was at home. It's only due to unforeseen circumstances as to why I've had to return to work full-time.

I'm currently applying for family tax credit but I think it will only serve to offset the nursery costs.

G-d bless and thanks for your help.

 

[Kokopelli]

Luckily my wife is an assistant supervisor and teacher at the child care center our daughter goes too. So the idea of sending her to a child care center because of necessity is not dreadful.

 

[Manna]

I'm struggling with that as well. I can really relate to what Lotuspetal_uk vbmenu_register("postmenu_9041075", true); said about being just...sad...about having to do this. I have always been so firm in the idea that when I had kids, I would stay home and take care of them like they should be taken care of. However, I never anticipated being a single mother. And, as another poster stated it, as a single mom, you don't have much of a choice. I don't have retired parents that can watch my daughter, and my friends all have jobs themselves!

However, in my situation, God has truly blessed. He provided a job for at least a few months that allows me to make a decent income in order to get my feet under me (my divorce was very sudden and threw me for a loop!) and I am able to keep my daughter with me. But I still know that the day is coming where I will have to leave her with a daycare during the day while I work, and it breaks my heart. My deepest sympathy goes out to all of you who are having to do this yourselves. It's not fun. I can't even imagine doing this if you didn't absolutely HAVE to. But those of you that are doing it out of necessity, I applaud you for being good parents and doing whatever possible to take care of your children.

Anna

 

[Crofter]

Thanks Crofter, yeah I have but my problem is my profession limits me to working part time hours (very few vacancies like that). All the female teachers I know had the same problem in terms of the hours they work. Our typical work day starts at 8am but doesn't realistically finish until 5pm if we're lucky not to have detentions. I felt for one lady last term, who had the same hours as me but who had to leave her 12 week old in the care of others. I was blessed to have left the profession and then fall pregnant while I was at home. It's only due to unforeseen circumstances as to why I've had to return to work full-time.

I'm currently applying for family tax credit but I think it will only serve to offset the nursery costs.

G-d bless and thanks for your help.

Are you a teacher then...?

I had this problem teaching 13 years back and wanted to work part time... but the head told me there was only the option of full time or nothing. I later found out that I had the right to whatever hours I wanted as a job share but that it would have to have been in ant school the council selected for me. Anyway.. I gave up my job and cos my partner was in work we got buy ( just! )

The tax credit for nursery care is well worth going for... every little helps and it gives you the freedon to use quality care which wasn't available so readily when my kids were small.

Anyway... no matter how hard things seem you will get buy and you are a good mum because you are doing your best for your child in your situation and that is what counts and don't ever feel you need to make things up to your child because you've had less hours together than you'd like to but just know you do your best and relax and enjoy all the time you do get together and enjoy hearing about all the good times and the tears and so on during the day at nursery that are all part of any childs day be that with they at home or nursery.

My son just spent a six week shock stunt at nursery when he was going on 3 and although he was there for long days ( 7am - 6 pm ) )he loved it so much and so I didn't feel I needed to rush home to get him and could relax while I set up class for the next day.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Are you a teacher then...?

I had this problem teaching 13 years back and wanted to work part time... but the head told me there was only the option of full time or nothing. I later found out that I had the right to whatever hours I wanted as a job share but that it would have to have been in ant school the council selected for me. Anyway.. I gave up my job and cos my partner was in work we got buy ( just! )

The tax credit for nursery care is well worth going for... every little helps and it gives you the freedon to use quality care which wasn't available so readily when my kids were small.

Anyway... no matter how hard things seem you will get buy and you are a good mum because you are doing your best for your child in your situation and that is what counts and don't ever feel you need to make things up to your child because you've had less hours together than you'd like to but just know you do your best and relax and enjoy all the time you do get together and enjoy hearing about all the good times and the tears and so on during the day at nursery that are all part of any childs day be that with they at home or nursery.

My son just spent a six week shock stunt at nursery when he was going on 3 and although he was there for long days ( 7am - 6 pm ) )he loved it so much and so I didn't feel I needed to rush home to get him and could relax while I set up class for the next day.

Yeah, it's still pretty much the same now in that you have to find a school offering job-share or a Head teacher flexible enough to allow you to work part-time but they are still few and far between unfortunately.

But praise G-d I went back to work this week and with the exception of yesterday, I wasn't close to tears. Yesterday I was just coming to terms with the long hours away from her when my mom commented on how long a day it would be for her. I was a little short with my mom asking her what other alternatives she'd like to offer and then driving my little one to nursery, I felt myself welling up again. But the people at the nursery are great and I even think that one of the women is a Christian too. It also seems as though my baby is closest with her .

So with each trying milestone, the L-rd strengthens us and continues to mould us and for this I am grateful .

Hope you guys have a blessed weekend.

 

[E-beth]

I had to put my son in day care when he was about 5 months old. I found a nice home-based babysitter, who only kept my son until school let out. Still, the "mommy guilt" I had when I left was almost unbearable!

I have worked in a daycare before and it really isn't so bad if you find a good one. In a good one, your child gets better care than they do at home sometimes! In most ceneters, they do not watch videos while you do the dishes, etc, and someone watches them at all times. Plus they get to do projects and play with toys that you might not have at home. I always fell in love with my day care/pre-school classes.

The only time I felt a parent was NOT doing the right thing was when they would leave their children all day every day, even when they got off work or when it was bad weather. Some parents do use daycare to just get rid of their kids.

 

[tonya]

I had to put my son in day care when he was about 5 months old. I found a nice home-based babysitter, who only kept my son until school let out. Still, the "mommy guilt" I had when I left was almost unbearable!

I have worked in a daycare before and it really isn't so bad if you find a good one. In a good one, your child gets better care than they do at home sometimes! In most ceneters, they do not watch videos while you do the dishes, etc, and someone watches them at all times. Plus they get to do projects and play with toys that you might not have at home. I always fell in love with my day care/pre-school classes.

The only time I felt a parent was NOT doing the right thing was when they would leave their children all day every day, even when they got off work or when it was bad weather. Some parents do use daycare to just get rid of their kids.

That is sooo true E...I too worked at a daycare and was in shock at the way some parents were..and it was the ones you'd least expect to do it..like leaving their little fellas there long after they had gotten off of work, bringing then there even if they were off of work..etc.