Dearest brethren, I am the father of nine wonderful children, may I speak?
There are lots of philosophies out there, lots of books, lots of "feelings," about spanking. BUT, what did God say?
Prov. 13
[24] He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
If someone does not spank a child, in a loving way, that needs a spanking, they actually hate their child because they are teaching them that life has no bounderies, or consequences. I can hear the skeptic, "You cannot spank in a loving way!" Perhaps, you cannot, but if you have prayed for this child, nutured Momma for nine months, prepared your heart, dreamed of this beautiful child, yes, you can lovingly apply chastisement. God does to us, doesn't he?
Heb. 12
[5] And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
[6] For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
[7] If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
[8] But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
When God, as a loving Father, sees you have gone too far, he sends chastisement into our lives. We know it when it comes. He does this out of love. He does this because we are sons, (and daughter,) of the King. Despise not the spanking, it is given for our good, likewise is our spanking of our children.
Prov. 22
[15] Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Who wants a fool for a child? Not me.
Psalm 14
[1] The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
So, what shall we do when we see the sin of foolishness coming up in our child. If God be true, (AND HE IS,) we spank our child. We want God to drive foolishness far from our children. You say, "But, let me reason with my child about their foolishness." Sorry, God said, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child..." You cannot, try as you may, you must spank sometimes.
Prov. 23
[13] Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
[14] Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Here's a doosie, who wants their child to die. . . and go to hell!?!?!? NO ONE here, surely! So, if my child is developing habits, tendancies, patternes that God has said are destructive, then IF I LOVE MY CHILD, I am going to spank him/her. God will use it to save them from dying as the wicked die, and from going to hell.
Prov. 29
[15] The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
One poster said, "Don't spank, just forgive, he/she will grow up to be a bully." No, sorry friend, that is bad counsel Yes, don't ABUSE you child. Don't smack him/her in the face in anger. Don't strike them with the broom! BUT, if they need a spanking for VIOLATING GOD'S ETERNAL PRINCIPLES, then, lovingly, do the following:
1. Take them aside. Your not trying to embarrass them.
2. Teach them. Literally open God's word and show them, like this
Tommy has an anger problem with little Suzie, who took his favorite toy. So, you show Tommy:
Prov. 16
[32] He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Prov. 19
[11] The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
Just two of MANY you could use.
"Tommy, he that controls his temper is STRONGER that Uncle Dave," (whom everyone knows is a giant Moose of a guy!) And, "Controlling your anger shows that you are a wise man, (a man of descretion.) Do you understand, son?"
3. Apply the rod. Spank him. Not, two little swats. Spanking is used to bring out something he will need the rest of his life, a spirit that WANTS to repent, when Father has brought attention to sin! Amen?!?!? Now, in the old days, and old timers, (just ask Grandma,) they would bare them buns! This isn't wrong, but if you are worried about it, just bare their undies. Blue jeans, and such are TOO thick, they'll just cause you to waste your time. As an older Christian told me, he'd "Rosie them cheeks!" You want it to smart. You want them to see the negative consequence of their actions.
4. Now, love them up! Yes, that's right. When God corrects his children he does it for one reason, the restoration of sweet fellowship. When you are backslid, do you sense the sweet closeness of God and his approval? Of course not. Is there anything sweeter? Of course not. Give this same privilege to your child. They'll bless you for it, one day.
I have a 24 year old, big ol' strappin' boy. I love him. He's a man's man. He loves me and Momma and calls us "Blessed." We used to wear him out. Lord! He had a strong will That's what you want to control. Spanking is NOT to break the spirit, but the will. You want this:
Prov. 23
[26] My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.
5. Pray with them. They will learn how to approach the throne of grace FROM YOU.
"Father, me and Tommy come to you in the name of Jesus. Tommy now knows that anger is bad and will harm him. Forgive him, Father, and help him to be a godly boy that everyone will appreciate. In Jesus' dear name, Amen."
Take that precious heart. Shape it. Point it to Jesus. Train it.
Prov. 22
[6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Psalm 127
[3] Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
[4] As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
[5] Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Look at these precious jewels. They are the heart behind the spanking.
Prov. 1
[5] A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:
[6] To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings. [dark means, deep and mysterious.]
[7] The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
[8] My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
[9] For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
[10] My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
Can you hear the heart of a parent in those instructions? When you do what's right, GOD'S WAY, you will have a child that get's to wear the ornament of wisdom. His life will be an ornament that will say, "His parents taught him right."
You must do the work! Are they worth it?
So, if they kick and flail about, you and Momma, hold him/her down, and SPARE NOT. You want that spirit gone anyways, right? Of course. No child is going to WANT a spanking, but if you do it right, you just might notice this:
Do you remember the story about, about Tommy, who had a bad temper? Well, it's two hours later. Tommy and Suzie have been playing sweetly, it';s quiet in the house, except for occasional laughs and sounds of children at sweet play. You look over at your spouse, and thank God, because he knows what a child needs.
Do you love them? Then spank them if they need it.
May God give you grace and wisdom.
Ben, a brother