dating

[KruseKontrol]

AHAH!!! Caught you sneaking on here while you're at work... eh? Oh wait... I do that too.

NO NO NO...I'm on break...Really!!!!

Anyways... yah... just from the little experiences that I've had from chasing girls, observing yours, and the experiences of a few others... I think I've pretty much scared myself away from dating... that and I look inside the marriage forum and it's like .

Glad at least one person can learn from my mistakes!!!

 

[Apollonian]

Question: if we call "dating" the process by which we get to know a person in order to determine whether he/she is "significant other" material, then what do we call the process by which we get to know a person to see if he/she would be a good friend? And, aren't these things the same except one is romantic and one platonic?

I am beginning to consider the hypothesis that dating is socially necessary in order to really get to know someone indepth at all. I simply cannot identify very many other social avenues by which I can engage women enough to truly get to know them. (Please note that I don't consider a person a friend until I've either worked with them for a year day in day out, or I have have several conversations about personal philosophy and personal interests with said person)

 

[SDSUMarcus01]

.

 

[JPPT1974]

First you have to really be a friend first before you are considering a date. You have to get to know each other and really, really, know about your wants/needs, likes/dislikes, strengths/weaknesses, understanding of feelings and thoughts before both of you take it to the next level. Just some Christian advice.

 

[fishstix]

Question: if we call "dating" the process by which we get to know a person in order to determine whether he/she is "significant other" material, then what do we call the process by which we get to know a person to see if he/she would be a good friend?

I call it hanging out.

 

[90qzrblu]

If you dont date you'll never meet Mr.Right, by dating you determine what you want your partner to be like.

My fiancee and I were friends for 4 years before we even considered dating. All through her college years, I knew that I cared for her more than anyone, and my heart kept coming back to her. I had the feeling that there was something special about her, even though nothing worked out to date while she was in college. So, "the one" may be right in front of you, but God has a different time frame for something to happen.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

Just trust God

Chase God not dates

 

[KruseKontrol]

Just trust God

Chase God not dates

Nicely put, Beauty. We must keep our focus on God. Everything else will fall into place.

 

[Apollonian]

I call it hanging out.

You know, I really don't understand why I didn't think of that before. I just came to that epiphany today. "Hanging out" is the equivalent to friendship as "dating" is to romance.

Now I just have to figure out how to get people to actually talk about things that matter to anything beyond just video games and television!

Furthermore, I would venture to say that a great deal of people would almost immediately interpret a single guy "hanging out" with a single girl to be "dating" rather than "hanging out" ?!

Is it socially acceptable for me to ask a girl to hang out sometime even if I cannot find any other people to hang out with at that time? How would that be any different than a date???

 

[fishstix]

You know, I really don't understand why I didn't think of that before. I just came to that epiphany today. "Hanging out" is the equivalent to friendship as "dating" is to romance.

Now I just have to figure out how to get people to actually talk about things that matter to anything beyond just video games and television!

Just bring up those topics that you want to discuss. Especially if people are relaxed and just sitting around, the way that sometimes happens after a big meal.

Furthermore, I would venture to say that a great deal of people would almost immediately interpret a single guy "hanging out" with a single girl to be "dating" rather than "hanging out" ?!

True. But that's their problem. If they ask you about it, you just inform them that the two of you are just friends, nothing more. And if they don't believe you, once again that's their problem.

Is it socially acceptable for me to ask a girl to hang out sometime even if I cannot find any other people to hang out with at that time? How would that be any different than a date???

I think it's perfectly fine as long as both of you are comfortable with it. You probably would want to specify when you ask her that it is just as friends so that both of you are on the same page. And you wouldn't want to do something excessively romantic, like a candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant or a sappy romance movie. I would consider it different than a date due to the different motives behind it, which would result in a different sort of "feel" to the whole event.

 

[Tenorvoice]

I personally view "dating" as the worst way to get to know somebody. My reasoning on this is because you almost NEVER see the real person that they really are. Everybody is doing what they can to "please" the other person and would tend to do things that they would not normally do. Also when you are "dating" someone you have "blinders" on and you do not see the "faults" so to speak of the other person (ex. things that would not work together in a marriage). You are more willing to play games with people to impress them. And the sad thing is that we almost never realize that we are doing these things. We hurt the people that we love because of these types of relationships.

That is why I prefer the more traditional courting of the oppisite sex. You get to know them in a group setting (youth group, sunday school class get togethers and such). Everyone is more apt to be themselves in these settings. Then if you want to court someone you go to the father (if he is alive) and ASK for permission do court his daughter. (if no father then you go to the mother). You let them know that you are intending to marry this person and if it would be ok with them. If they say yes then great, start the courting relationship.

peace