Dating Websites

[brixken7]

I'm thinking of signing up for Christian Connections or Christian Mingle, but I was wondering if anyone out there had any experience with these or any views on dating websites in general, or these Christian specific ones.

They seem pretty expensive, but maybe it's worth it? Anyone got any ideas? : )

I met a fabulous spirit-filled Christian woman on "Senior People Meet" and would not trade her for all the money in the world.
(We've been married now nearly 4 years.)

 

[GillDouglas]

Wrong thread. Sorry.

 

[MehGuy]

I get a decent reply rate on online dating sites. I never dare mention my height though.

If you're into different types of relationships online dating is sometimes the only feasible way to make that happen.

 

[Audrey61]

Yes, I have tried both in the last 2 years - waste of time and money. There are online scammers on all dating websites, even Christian ones. I always insist on meeting face to face in a very public place for coffee after one or 2 emails. 90% of the time, they make excuse or don't reply. Those that replied tend to be scammers. That's when you know they are either scammers or not genuine. I also found that I hardly get anyone writing to me first. To get your money's worth, you have to spend time searching, writing etc. when no-one replies (and I am not ugly), it can get very depressing and you can start to wonder what's wrong with you that no-one even bothers to reply and say 'No, thank you'. I found online dating very demeaning after a while and if you are not an extremely self-confident person, can be very bad for people with low self-esteem. I have promised myself that I will not myself through online dating again. If God wants me to have a partner, then He will have to get that person to initiate it first, otherwise I am preparing myself for a life on my own. so be it. I am not saying it won't work for you. It is just my personal experience. There are a few things you have to say NO to - the person does not live in the same city as you, he makes excuses why he can't meet you in person, happens to be flying overseas suddenly on a business trip when he said he will meet you, widower with a child who lives overseas/with grandparents, own their own business and the minute he asks you for money in any form (maybe only $100 to support charity), dump him straightaway!!

 

[LoveDivine]

I have tried several online dating sites in the past, and I dated several guys that I met from those sites. I think online dating sites are a tool or a vehicle for meeting people just like anything else. Sure, you will come across your share of crazy people or scammers online, but there are lots of legitimate profiles. Online dating has become fairly mainstream and all kinds of different people try it out. I never met anyone from those dating sites that was my perfect match (thus I'm still single, lol), but that doesn't mean that online dating is bad or a waste of time. I think one drawback of online dating is that many users of the site treat it like online shopping. I think some people don't give others a chance (that might be a good match for them) because they think there are hundreds of profiles to pick from. I would say that I think online sites such as ChristianMingle that require you to pay are better. I think that having to pay makes people take the process a little more seriously.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Yes, I have tried both in the last 2 years - waste of time and money. There are online scammers on all dating websites, even Christian ones. I always insist on meeting face to face in a very public place for coffee after one or 2 emails. 90% of the time, they make excuse or don't reply. Those that replied tend to be scammers. That's when you know they are either scammers or not genuine. I also found that I hardly get anyone writing to me first. To get your money's worth, you have to spend time searching, writing etc. when no-one replies (and I am not ugly), it can get very depressing and you can start to wonder what's wrong with you that no-one even bothers to reply and say 'No, thank you'. I found online dating very demeaning after a while and if you are not an extremely self-confident person, can be very bad for people with low self-esteem. I have promised myself that I will not myself through online dating again. If God wants me to have a partner, then He will have to get that person to initiate it first, otherwise I am preparing myself for a life on my own. so be it. I am not saying it won't work for you. It is just my personal experience. There are a few things you have to say NO to - the person does not live in the same city as you, he makes excuses why he can't meet you in person, happens to be flying overseas suddenly on a business trip when he said he will meet you, widower with a child who lives overseas/with grandparents, own their own business and the minute he asks you for money in any form (maybe only $100 to support charity), dump him straightaway!!

From what I hear the ladies often gets a ton of messages to them on online dating sites. The hard part is picking and choosing which guy they should respond to.

Do you get a lot of profile reads? If you don't, that means you have to find a better picture of yourself as your profile lead picture.

If you are getting a lot of profile reads but no message, then perhaps you need to rewrite your self description.

 

[sundewgrower]

Ain't that the truth! I have a profile on OKCupid and found someone in my area who is a Christian and has a 96% match. We got in touch to exchange 2 messages and that was it. She'd obviously been on this site for a long time and hadn't found anyone yet, and still decided to ignore me even though we had a pleasant couple of exchanges. Sounds like the too high standard you were talking about. I guess being 96% matched (the highest throughout the entire region) isn't good enough to even stay in contact with.

I got sick of OKC since nothing was working there and sorted the whole world by match percentage. Somehow I've got a really good friend out of the mix, and we still joke that I should have been deleted since she was getting 100+ messages a week with her very modest photos.

When I first started online dating years ago I was having a huge crush on the Caucasian ladies. It was very tough for me since I am Asian and 5'8. For that first year I had like zero replies and went on zero dates. I got discouraged and stopped going online for over a year.

Looking back it seems that Caucasian ladies would only be interested in Caucasian men. That is ok it is their free choice. And given how hard it already was for a Caucasian man to find a Caucasian lady online, it actually shouldn't be a surprise that an Asian guy like me got zero replies.

.....

When I returned to online dating last year, I no longer want a Caucasian lady. In fact I am against it since they wasted a whole year of my time (once again not their fault. But they did waste my time). Now I aim for Asian ladies. And I had much more success.

I went on multiple dates and found my very first GF. We dated for a few months but that ended in a break up. I was devastated but hey I was 31 years old and it is about time I get my very first heart break. And nothing regretful happened so I passed the test.

After a break I went back online. Since then I had dated multiple ladies. Some has ended totally. Some has become casual friends with me. Got to keep trying. =)

I'm weird that way. Maybe it's because I've felt burned.. But I'm one who appreciates Asian ladies more provided there is culture present. My sister doesn't care for Caucasians at all, whilst my sentiments aren't as strong but exist to a point... I've been told "you can find an ABC (American Born Asian) when you move to Texas" by my Taiwanese friend who was saying they will be closer and probably more attractive than her. But really when it boils down to it if your culture is different, or you look different people usually don't want that since it's not as easy or straightforward.

From what I hear the ladies often gets a ton of messages to them on online dating sites. The hard part is picking and choosing which guy they should respond to.

Do you get a lot of profile reads? If you don't, that means you have to find a better picture of yourself as your profile lead picture.

If you are getting a lot of profile reads but no message, then perhaps you need to rewrite your self description.

Ladies get tons unless they're scary in their profile pics. It peeved me and annoyed me but my best friend (that I always mention of course) kept fishing for more friends on OKC. She got a LOT of creeps since they automatically think Asian girls are easy or some stupid concept so she eventually got sick of it. She was getting 100+ messages a week, but only a few % of them were worth replying to. But I bet girls have a good sucess rate with messages unlike guys.

 

[pax4all]

I'm thinking of signing up for Christian Connections or Christian Mingle, but I was wondering if anyone out there had any experience with these or any views on dating websites in general, or these Christian specific ones.

They seem pretty expensive, but maybe it's worth it? Anyone got any ideas? : )

My answer would be no don't do it. Sadly my own husband set himself up on this dating site and lied about being single. Although they will shut the liars down in a heart beat once found out. The problem is, in the meantime how many hearts will be broken before they are found out? Many churches have singles ministry's try one of those. At least that way the participants are affiliated with the church and the likely hood of them being married is very slim.

 

[Messy]

Oh and with the free ones watch out with Nigerian princes and other scams that come up with a sad story after a while to get money. Better pay for a dating site.

 

[dayhiker]

The site I prefer to meet ladies on is meetup.com .... its not a dating site, its an activity site. One of my favorite things to do is dancing, hiking as well. So I join groups that dance of hike.
Get to meet real people in a group. People are friendly. Have got 4 GFs thru there and many friends that I see pretty often.

 

[redblue22]

there are lots we don't know about each other. for example, yankeegirl. You push for more than she is ready to respond. the rest of us are safe in our silence.

 

[Elizabeth8393]

I'm never using one again. In fact I'm only ever going to marry someone I've initially met face to face.

That said, just because it's not my cup of tea doesn't mean it's not yours. Just be very careful, don't ignore red flags, and stick to your standards.

 

[redblue22]

I still think there is a knee-jerk response to some religious beliefs. I would expect some of you to be eating out of your hand. For example, YankeeGirl.

 

[Elizabeth8393]

I still think there is a knee-jerk response to some religious beliefs. I would expect some of you to be eating out of your hand. For example, YankeeGirl.

Explain

 

[redblue22]

reply.

 

[Elizabeth8393]

reply.

I don't understand

 

[MiniEmu]

I'm thinking of signing up for Christian Connections or Christian Mingle, but I was wondering if anyone out there had any experience with these or any views on dating websites in general, or these Christian specific ones.

They seem pretty expensive, but maybe it's worth it? Anyone got any ideas? : )

Dating websites can be interesting, and you can meet people who you'd otherwise never had the pleasure of interacting with. If you're dedicated, focused and have a goal I think they can work out quite well.

They are not magical solutions to dating though, you still need to find someone you click with for the sparks to fly. If you struggle in face to face situations, you can find yourself struggling online. Some of the stories about people who meet online are beautiful, and my colleague married the man she met on Christian Connections last year recently, but that does not mean they're necessarily going to make it easier to meet someone.

My personality is not suited to it, I take too long to reply, I am not too good at casual chit chat and honestly I'm not focused enough to want a relationship to develop. I float into relationships, and you can't really float if you're on a website aimed at dating.

Wrapping it up: go for it. All you have to lose is a bit of money, maybe some time, perhaps some pride if you have a particularly unlucky streak.

 

[LoveDivine]

I still think there is a knee-jerk response to some religious beliefs. I would expect some of you to be eating out of your hand. For example, YankeeGirl.

?

 

[KandiJo]

I hate online dating. I have been on christian mingle, okcupid, christian dating for free and plenty of fish and it honestly sucks. You start talking to a guy who says hes a christian, and then he starts asking you inappropriate questions. Or you like someones profile, and send them a message but never get a response. It's constant rejection and people basing their opinions of you on a short profile and a couple pictures.

You'll get more response from guys from other countries. Unless your hot and willing to hook up.

 

[miss-a]

Two thumbs down on dating sites for me. I especially hate the deceptive nature what seems to all the sites, where they keep up the profiles of folks who are no longer accessible. They allow you to look at the site for free, you see people in your area you'd like to contact, pay to have access and then find out those folks are no longer paying members and you can't contact them. Not okay.