Dating Websites

[sparkydave]

There are some tricks to getting results.

First, you need good pictures. Like it or not, this is a real thing. If you don't have good pictures of yourself, get some. If you don't look good in pictures, work on that.

Second, women on these sites get TONS of messages, particularly the really attractive women (many of whom are not actually scammers). I've talked to women who've gotten well over 100 messages within their first 24 hours of signing up. No human can be expected to filter through that much material. Not only do you need to stand out in some way, but you may also need to set your sites a little lower than the smoking blonde that absolutely every other guy on the site is angling for.

Third, you need to make your profile witty and brief; interesting, but not highly specific. People don't need a full autobiography, just something to pique their interest.

Fourth, make your initial contact email also witty and brief - address something in her profile, maybe ask a related question and leave it at that. Three sentences is pushing it. I like to just make a goofy comment about something in their profile and ask no questions: one, maybe two sentences. People can feel uncomfortable if they're asked questions right off the bat. At times, I've also decided to not initiate contact with women I found appealing merely because there was nothing in their profile that I could work with to make a joke.

Fifth, if you're not in a large urban area, pickins are going to be really slim. I do live in a large urban area, but I'm out in the burbs and had to change my profile location to just say the big city so that I wouldn't get filtered out by women who live in the city, but set their search radius to 5-10 miles. Putting my real town (which is only 25-30 miles from the center of the city) was enough to noticeably reduce traffic to my profile.



Yeah, you're pretty much the definition of the dating website creeper. Maybe in real life you're fine, but just in this post, you come of as really needy and overbearing. You poured your heart out to her after having had one unanswered email and zero contact? You deleted your account after being rejected by one girl? Come on. She may very well have been perfect for you, but based on your description, you probably wouldn't have been perfect for her. I felt uncomfortable reading what you wrote, and I'm a dude and you're not hitting on me.

Try toning it down. A lot.

Thank you for the tips, I had no idea 3 sentences would have been typical for an initial message. Maybe that's why I didn't have a lot of success. Guess I lucked out when I met my ex, we both tend to be very wordy.

 

[HorsieJuice]

Thank you for the tips, I had no idea 3 sentences would have been typical for an initial message. Maybe that's why I didn't have a lot of success. Guess I lucked out when I met my ex, we both tend to be very wordy.

I don't know if it's typical or not, but it's been reasonably effective for me.

It makes sense if you think about how you'd go about meeting someone for the first time in real life: you wouldn't walk up to them and share your life story uninterrupted. You'd have some sort of initial question or statement for them, then they'd respond, and then you'd respond back - it would be a series of short turns, not one long monologue followed by another.

 

[nick garai]

Never used one. Do you find it difficult to approach women in real life? Just curious

I do. I find it very stressful approaching women in real life but I can speak with them on the internet. It is less stressful.

 

[Jess7737]

Dating websites are a sham, they never worked for me. All I've ever met where crazy people who were far from what they said they were. My opinion stay away from dating sites they do more harm then good.

 

[HorsieJuice]

They're not a sham. I'm on one, as are a few of my friends, and I've met plenty of decent women on there - not many that I would personally be interested in dating (though I've got something in the works at the moment), but not bad people by stretch. It may be tougher for women, since they're more likely to attract the crazies, but there are plenty of decent people on these sites. You just have to learn the tricks to filtering them.

That said, I wouldn't pay for any of them again. The free ones are plenty good.

 

[miss-a]

One of my best all-rime experiences with online dating: A guy messaged and said, "Why has a pretty girl like you never been married before. Are you grumpy or do you just not like real men?" And this was a "Christian" site.

Charming, don't you think? And just one of many ugly stories.

I think there are probably plenty of fine, upstandng folks who use dating sites. But I also believe there are many who use the site as if the people they contact are not real people with real lives and real feelings. In other words, if you're mad at your ex-spouse but don't dare to appoach her, just say nasty things to the lady online. She's not real anyway. I think there's a lot of that sort of thing that goes on. I wouldn't recommend these sites to anyone. Nor would I judge someone who opted to use one. But, I do need to say they are not for the faint of heart. Wear your thick skin. Them thar folks can be mean.

Having said that, I did meet actually very nice men, three different times. But with one we found we had irreconciliable doctrinal issues. HIs theology depressed me, but I believe he was truly a good man. The other two just weren't over their divorces yet, and that made the thing fall apart.

So I'm done with online dating sites.

 

[miss-a]

I've never used one and I never will. I don't want to get attached to someone online only to find out they are entirely different in person.

Smart.

 

[TwistTim]

Have you used one? What do you think of them?

I'll give you my story real quick. They've been nothing but trouble for me. I click and click and click and click on women I'm interested in, but never once have I gotten a response of any kind from one. I clicked on one today to try to IM her, and she replied, "I'm busy" and disappeared. They won't even bother to look at my profile! Apparently my face is enough to scare them away.

I occasionally get a click from a girl, but I've never gotten one I was interested in. It makes me feel like a jerk, because my not responding is as bad as what happened to me.

And the other thing that always happens to me on these sites! The spam bots. It seems like I get messages from spam bots that are trying to lure me to inappropriate contentographic websites or steal money from me.

To summarize: dating websites have been nothing but a horrible experience for me for over 10 years now, and I keep coming back for more.

I've never used one, as dating websites are not mentioned in scripture, they are therefore not something we as Christians should believe in.
</logic rant over>
Serious Answer....

I've never used one... I just like to believe that if/when I do find the love of my life, she will be here near me. That I will marry her and her friends and family will still be near for her....as will mine

 

[Jupiter Drops]

If any of you ever want to get rich from online dating sites, you can go to the one where there are plenty of Sugar Daddies just waiting to spoil you with materialistic goods.

 

[HorsieJuice]

If any of you ever want to get rich from online dating sites, you can go to the one where there are plenty of Sugar Daddies just waiting to spoil you with materialistic goods.

I've got a good 12 months of serious training to go before I'm hot enough to attract a rich cougar.

In the mean time, I'm scoping out Benzes. I really dig the new SL Class, but I think I might have to start a little smaller than that, like the E Class Cabriolet. I think I'd need to work my way up to the SL.

 

[Jess7737]

They're not a sham. I'm on one, as are a few of my friends, and I've met plenty of decent women on there - not many that I would personally be interested in dating (though I've got something in the works at the moment), but not bad people by stretch. It may be tougher for women, since they're more likely to attract the crazies, but there are plenty of decent people on these sites. You just have to learn the tricks to filtering them.

That said, I wouldn't pay for any of them again. The free ones are plenty good.

I've met way too many crazies and very few nice guys on Christian dating sites. I do hope that they work out for you and others. Just not for me, I've found people like to play to many mind games for my liking on dating sites. Not all do this I know, but there seems to be far and few between who are actually genuine in my cases with Christian dating sites. It's why I stay away from them now.

 

[HorsieJuice]

I've met way too many crazies and very few nice guys on Christian dating sites. I do hope that they work out for you and others. Just not for me, I've found people like to play to many mind games for my liking on dating sites. Not all do this I know, but there seems to be far and few between who are actually genuine in my cases with Christian dating sites. It's why I stay away from them now.

Ah.

I don't trust anything that slaps the adjective "Christian" in its description.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gye8ukFO-9s


He has a 26-year-old wife.


Classic.

 

[drummingbyfaith]

I've met way too many crazies and very few nice guys on Christian dating sites. I do hope that they work out for you and others. Just not for me, I've found people like to play to many mind games for my liking on dating sites. Not all do this I know, but there seems to be far and few between who are actually genuine in my cases with Christian dating sites. It's why I stay away from them now.

What do you mean they play mind games on you? Care to elaborate?

 

[covered4god]

i have tried christian and non christian dating web sites and all say no fatties( i am not fat i am a curvy size 14/16) and a guess i dress to modest for any guy( dresses skirts and headcoverings). was told on christian mingle that they need to try before they buy. part of my profile said no sex before marriage. So i just pray and let god do what he does best.

 

[2bituser]

i have tried christian and non christian dating web sites and all say no fatties( i am not fat i am a curvy size 14/16) and a guess i dress to modest for any guy( dresses skirts and headcoverings). was told on christian mingle that they need to try before they buy. part of my profile said no sex before marriage. So i just pray and let god do what he does best.

Too modest for some, not modest enough for others.

Can't you just make friends with single Christian guys in real life rather than trying to sell yourself on dating websites?

 

[covered4god]

i am not nor have i ever been "for sale"

 

[Messy]

Too modest for some, not modest enough for others.

Can't you just make friends with single Christian guys in real life rather than trying to sell yourself on dating websites?

If you put on your profile you don't want sex before marriage, you're defenitely not trying to sell yourself. Most won't buy it. You're maybe just naive and finding out datingsites are stupid. But I guess there are couples who did find the one God had for them, using a datingsite.

 

[HighwayMan]

Signing up for them was the biggest mistake and embarrassment of my life. Never again.

 

[Lavone]

I never had any luck. Maybe I'm just god ugly I don't know. Or maybe women want unreally things.