Dating or Courtship

[JulySheMustFly]

Which did you do before marrying your spouse?
How did you determine that this was a person you wanted to date or court?

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

Well, our situation was unusual. We met while deployed. When we returned to the States, he left again for six months. Our relationship consisted mostly of letters and phone calls. When he returned, he proposed shortly thereafter and we married a couple months later.

One thing though, we knew immediately we'd marry. We were talking about how many kids we'd like and where we'd live within days of seeing each other.

God knew what He was doing and brought us together...no doubt of that My husband is truly my best friend and we've not had any regrets during our ten years together.

ironic though, our ten-year anniversary is this week and he is deployed again

 

[beehoney]

What's the difference between dating and courting?

 

[Jocristian]

exactly^.... courting is churchspeak for dating. Although I never casually dated around (herein lies the difference for most) , but I most definitely "dated" my wife if only to give the gossipers at church something to talk about.

"He's dating!" *shutter*

 

[ImaginaryVoyager]

Dated. I wasn't aware of the courtship model at the time, but even after hearing about it, I don't think the courtship thing is for me.

Some info on this can be found at:
http://family-topics.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/family_topics.cfg/php/enduser/std_adp.php?p_faqid=939

 

[Bay]

Explain the difference?????!!!!

 

[Bay]

nevermind. LOL

 

[HeatherJay]

We dated. I knew I wanted to date him because God told me I was going to marry him before he'd even asked me out. LOL, I figured that dating him was the quickest way to marriage.

 

[Oblivious]

Both.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

What's the difference between dating and courting?

I don't honestly know. I made the OP to see if the difference was really as prevelant as some of the church folk I know make it out to be. I also ask because my cousin whom I'm really close with is getting married from a courtin relationship and the whole way they went about it made me really nervous.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

I honestly don't see a difference between the two and I strongly disagree with debating the subject for many reasons. I just tell everyone that we dated since it's a more well-known term

 

[Carri20]

Which did you do before marrying your spouse?
How did you determine that this was a person you wanted to date or court?

We courted. Dating was too loose. We had both prayed for a spouse and were tired of messing around, so when we felt the Spirit nudging us to take our friendship to the next level we had a pretty clear goal in mind.

 

[HeatherJay]

I believe the difference between courting and dating is the goal in mind.

Those who believe only in courting tend to believe that the only acceptable purpose of dating is if you intend to marry that person.

Dating, I think, at least relative to courting, has a much less serious intent...i.e. you don't always date only that person which you hope to someday be married to.

Personally, I dated lots of boys...for no other reason than they were cute and it was fun. I had no intent behind dating them...especially not marriage.

Anyway, I don't know if I explained that very well, but that's the difference I see between the two terms.

 

[Carri20]

I agree with HeatherJay.. That's what dating and courting mean to me also.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

I guess we courted. Although when talking about that time in my life, I usually say we dated, just because, like Seattle Rain said, it's a more well-known term.

I guess what we did could be called courting because neither one of us was interested in dating different people while trying to find the right one. I dated in my teens, but after giving my life to Jesus at the age of 22, I thought you should be friends first and have some idea that the person is the right person for you before getting romantically involved at all. And that's pretty much how things worked for us.

However, our relationship didn't totally fit into the courtship model because our parents weren't involved in helping to choose the right person for us. We were already in our late twenties when we met, so having our parents involved in that way would have just been silly. Even for younger people, I don't think the parents should be involved in that way. I don't think it would have worked very well for my parents to have had any input in choosing my spouse. They don't have much wisdom or common sense when it comes to relationships, so if they'd been in charge of picking someone for me it would have gone very badly. I don't see how anyone can pick someone for someone else anyway. That makes no sense to me.

 

[ImaginaryVoyager]

However, our relationship didn't totally fit into the courtship model because our parents weren't involved in helping to choose the right person for us. We were already in our late twenties when we met, so having our parents involved in that way would have just been silly. Even for younger people, I don't think the parents should be involved in that way. I don't think it would have worked very well for my parents to have had any input in choosing my spouse.

Ya, this is the big problem I had with the courtship model. Of course, I seek my parents' counsel on such matters, but I reserve the right to reject it if I so choose. Shoot, my parents loved every girl I dated, and I was in the doghouse with my mom every time I broke up with a girl, or didn't call her for a second date, or whatever.

If I would've listened to my parents, I would have probably gotten married to the wrong person.

 

[Zoomer]

I say we dated before we married. And when I say dated, I mean that we were only seeing each other. I have never dated more than one person at a time. The whole courtship thing is a bit old fashioned for me, personally.

 

[TheAJKMan]

Mmm, kinda an odd one for me, cos the wife and I went on one date and started seing each other on a serious not pretty much from the getgo. I prposed to her about 5months after we first met. $ months after that we were married and that was 7years ago. Nothing in our courting was anything like I'd thought it would be and even less like I'd planned in my head.

As for courting, it is and older english word that doesn't seem to get used much anymore, dating seems to have replaced it in popular usage, which saddens me personally. I like HeatherJay's way of defining the two, nice and simple.

TheAJKMan

 

[sjdennis]

Both? Neither? How to define it?

We met, both felt other would be good to marry, lost touch.

Met again, didn't decide to start dating, just realised we were doing something when we managed to see each other every single day for 2 weeks! I had never had a previous serious girlfriend, she had had a couple of boyfriends but really wasn't the "dating" type.

Then we just were. Had arguments, had good times. Knew we would marry pretty much from the outset. 13 months - engaged, 6 months - married. Both flatting away from parents, so actually helped each other out a lot & spent much time together, had very few defined "dates". Almost family to each other before marriage, as sort of substitute family being away from parents I suppose, used each others cars & didn't worry about who paid for things.

What on earth am I supposed to call this? Dating? Courting?

I prefer to say God drew us together and we just were getting married, that was just how it was.

 

[Anwar]

when u start talking to a girl how can you tell the difference if its courting or dating