Dating & Disabilities

[Sketcher]

It really depends on the disability. I would not date someone with a mental disability or sickness. Just being friends with those kinds of people has been draining enough. I'm not talking about occasional spats of depression, mind you - I know what it's like to be depressed, I've had seasonal depression as well as a longer, suicidal depression (which I have not suffered from in years). As a rule, I get to know people before I decide to date them. If she's got a mental condition that drains me as a friend, why would I ask for more of that as a boyfriend?

Physical disabilities are far less serious. That's really no more than a health issue. She has to be attractive, though.

 

[waterbear]

I think it's a personal thing, but I would hope it would always come down to the person, and not a blanket rule regarding different conditions or ability levels. I mean heck, you could marry a sporting, strong, able bodied, fit body builder who could be in a car accident on the way home from the wedding and be instantly wheelchair bound for life. (This happens an awful lot, to Christians and non Christians alike, though not always so soon after the wedding). So heck, marry someone you can't imagine living without, and abilities will be secondary, whatever befalls either of you.

Blanket criterion, like stereotypes, exist because of the necessity of imposing discretion in our finite lifetimes. I certainly don't have the opportunity to get to know everybody - so stereotypes are used to decide whether or not it makes sense to invest more time in a person. For example, I, categorically, would not have a romantic interest in someone 50+ yrs old. There is absolutely no reason for me to have a first date with someone that old - I'll just lose time. The point being, people have some notion of what they want, and while I agree they don't have a perfect understanding people can reach enough understanding such that there is sufficient certainty that gathering more experience related to this quasi-certainty is relatively wasteful (e.g. work on modeling phenomena where you don't have a model that's working well, don't keep gathering data to verify well-tested models).

 

[JimfromOhio]

Before I married my wife Carole, she knew I was deaf (hard of hearing) and I have multiple sclerosis. Just about a month ago.. within weeks of our doctor appointments, we both got diagnosed with diabetes.

My wife says "we are a match made in heaven!!" We both are deeply in love and have a wonderful loving true intimate relationship.

We are very happy and learning each other's disabilities are fun, challenging and sometimes competitive. We have a great sense of humor and always think positive about our lives.

Jim

 

[JPPT1974]

Before I married my wife Carole, she knew I was deaf (hard of hearing) and I have multiple sclerosis. Just about a month ago.. within weeks of our doctor appointments, we both got diagnosed with diabetes.

My wife says "we are a match made in heaven!!" We both are deeply in love and have a wonderful loving true intimate relationship.

We are very happy and learning each other's disabilities are fun, challenging and sometimes competitive. We have a great sense of humor and always think positive about our lives.

Jim

That is wonderful for you both and that it is awesome and wonderful you both find positive thinking despite those setbacks. Making something good out of something bad.

 

[JimfromOhio]

Ken Tada: A True Story of Real Commitment (married to Joni Eareckson Tada)
From: FamilyLife.com

http://www.familylife.com/articles/article_detail.asp?id=756

 

[gunblayde]

If I felt that was the person God wanted me to be with, of course I would!

 

[lady_of_god]

Before I married my wife Carole, she knew I was deaf (hard of hearing) and I have multiple sclerosis. Just about a month ago.. within weeks of our doctor appointments, we both got diagnosed with diabetes.

My wife says "we are a match made in heaven!!" We both are deeply in love and have a wonderful loving true intimate relationship.

We are very happy and learning each other's disabilities are fun, challenging and sometimes competitive. We have a great sense of humor and always think positive about our lives.

Jim

I think that is just wonderful God did put you two together. I hope the Lord continues to bless the marriage

-Lady

 

[JimfromOhio]

That is wonderful for you both and that it is awesome and wonderful you both find positive thinking despite those setbacks. Making something good out of something bad.

Thanks !!

 

[JimfromOhio]

I think that is just wonderful God did put you two together. I hope the Lord continues to bless the marriage

-Lady

Thanks !!!