Dating and guys.

[relientKchic]

hey I need some advise. I know I jsut posted a diffrent post about a guy bugging me but this is kindda diffrent.

I am 17 year old, I have never been on a date or had a boyfriend. I don't have that much of a problem with that, because I wasn't ready for a boyfriend before it would have sidetracked me from God and I really didn't need that. but now I have gotten a lot closer to God, and I have a desire for a boyfriend. someone to hang out with that will protect me and be there for me. I have best friends but two live in Spain and one lives in CALi. and the other one that lives close to me is really busy all the time. so I never have anyone to hang out with. I'm not saying tha tI want a boyfriend jsut to say I have one. and I know now that if I had a boyfriend I wouldn't use him like I would have used a guy earlier in my life. but the only people that have ever told me that I was cute or that I was a great friend or someone they would want to date, were either online people that had never seen me, or mentaly sick people (literaly not figuratively) or my friends that are girl (for the things other then they would go out with me of course) anyway, I feel that the guy should ask the girl out, but I don't show my interest very well. and I hate to flirt. now I did know one guy a couple of years ago that I liked and that liked me back, but he was on my brothers baseball team and after a season of baseball I never saw him again. after that guy left and I didn't see him I missed him. and there was a song that always will remind me of him. I used to annoy my best friend becaus eI would talk about him all the time. and all the fun we had while at baseball games. so I finaly stopped talking about him. and I moved on finaly. I will never forget him or at least I won't foget him for a long time, but I'm ready for something more meaningful. I'm going to be starting college next fall and I know that there will be a lot of guys there, my best friend thinks that I'll find a guy my first week at college that I will want to date, but I'm not sure. and my mom is hopeing that I get a boyfriend so that I will stay in Md and not move back to Cali. so now I"m confused if I'm ready to see a guy or not. but it's something that I really want. now I know that God knows the desires of my heart and that he will fulfill them, and I'm a pretty patient person. but I'm wondering when the right time for me to date is.

if anyone has any encouragement or scripture for me please share it! I'm getting a little down in the dumps about this, because I have all this exciting stuff going on but pretty much no-one to share it with. and that's what I really desire is someone to share all these things with!

thanks

Je-JE

 

[desi]

Dating tends to get serious fast. I'd advise against it until you are ready to marry.

 

[Caelum]

I disagree, live and make mistakes as we all do, just do it safely, don't get too attached to the wrong people.

 

[Rafael]

I'm sure some Christian sisters will come along and give you some good advice and an ear to share with.
I can only add that in life, if we seek first the Kingdom of God, all the other good things in life will follow in the right order for us. We should always remember our first love, Jesus, and to obey God as best we can. Sin can ruin our lives with regret, so as a young person, you have a chance to do things right if you will trust God first.
Be sure and find a Christian boy to date. We are to not be unequally yoked in marriage. And since marriage is the end result of dating for Christians, that would be important to follow from God's Word in the Bible.
Another thing to avoid is sexual activity until you are married. I know that most of the world doesn't follow this, but great blessings in life are in store for those that will obey God in keeping themselves pure.
God bless....

Mt 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

2Co 6:14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?

Eph 5:3 Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.

 

[Lilly of the Valley]

I think you should first form good strong friendships w/ boys and if it's in the Lord's will for more, He will allow it to blossom.

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Do not begin dating untill you are serious about it or need that type of emotional fill. The purpose of dating in a loose term is to encourage brothers and sisters, keeping them off non Christians, which can destroy one's faith. This is best done as groups doing fun activities. Dating as in serious dating is reserved only for when you are really seeking a marriage relationship. Hang out with the opposite sex yes, but do not get serious until you really are ready to. Youth is something to cherish.

 

[Addaperle]

I had never dated until December of last year (so when I was 18), and I really regret it. I was in no way ready, and as a result, the relationship could never have gone anywhere.

I have friends who are much older: 26, 29, etc... who have never dated, or even kissed a guy. And I have the utmost respect for them. They are waiting until God sends their future spouse, and when that happens, they are gonna be so glad that they waited!

Don't be so worried about it now! Loneliness is awful, but remeber, Jesus is always with you- you are never alone! And that wonderful Holy Spirit is just waiting to give you the patience you need to get through this, as well as the Joy of the Lord!

God bless- I'm praying for you!

Clare xxx

 

[spoony]

hey relientKchic, hang in there dude, i know what you're on about (down to the type of people who are the only ones who call you cute and annoying your mates by talking about the same guy alot...) and all i can say is pray and hang in there, God knows his timing and when the times comes he'll let you know and you'll know it too. and it can be difficult to wait, or know what to do, i get confused all the time at what I'm supposed to be doing, but just pray about it and talk about it, get as much advice as you can, youll find loads of others are in the same situation. but you get my sympathy for knowing how confusing it is. im praying for ya!
' I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plan to bring about the future you hope for' Jeremiah 29:11

 

[christdriven]

Well, in my experience, dating is a waste. I used to be very obbessed with dating and relationships. My whole testimony is practically full of stories of my heart being broken by guy after guy, after guy. Very sad, i know. But very educational. Ive found in my own life, that i want to wait until Im in the right place in my relationship with God and until im ready to marry someone, before i become involved with them in a relationship. And even than, i would consider it "courting" and i would never become physically involved. Never again, do i want to persue someone with whom i dont feel a future, or who doesnt have the same or similar calling as i. You see, i got into relationships that were never based and solid in Christ. And thats the worst mistake you can make while starting to date a guy. If the relationship isnt solid in Christ, than how can it ever succeed? What i am trying to say, is that if you want to date, pray about it. Wait until God is calling you into the relationship, he has planned for you. Maybe you will have your heart broken many times like i have before you realize exactly what you want out of a relationship. Or maybe at this moment you know exactly what it is you're looking for, in that case, just paitently wait until the Lord brings Mr. Right into your life. But i beg that you dont get physically involved. Lust, is a horrible, nasty and hurtful thing to be consumed by. I would know, I allowed it to consume me. Everyone has a different dating life and a different plan in their life regarding relationships. God has someone picked out for you, so dont settle for anyone less than the guy that will be your Mr. Right. If the Lord is number one in your life right now, than he will bring someone at the right time. I like it best said that, he will surprise you at just the right time.
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
pray! just keep praying God will be faithful!

 

[AChildOfGodWithIronFaith]

i know i'm young, but i can safely echo what mostly everyone else is saying.....hold on. check out barlowgirl.net.....being a barlow girl is saving yourself entirely for your future mate and God. it's hard not dating.....but it's worth it.

i haven't yet kissed anyone--i'm nearly 16. dating brings attachments that can hurt your relationship with God, take from your future spouse, and hurt you. true love waits. i have a ring that says that. and it's true....i want a bf....but more than that i want to honor God and my future spouse. i don't want a lil fling. i want something that is so beautiful and lasting. so i'll wait. i'll be praying for you.

Dueteronomy 6:5- "Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength."

I Corinthians 7:27- Are you loosed from a wife [husband]? Do not seek a wife [husband].

I Timothy 2:12-15-"Treat guys as brothers and girls as sisters."

Psalm 138:8-"I will perfect EVERYTHING that concerns you."

I Corinthians 13:4- "Love is patient, love is kind..."

Song of Solomon 2:7b, 3:5b, and 8:4b-"Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases."

Ecclesiates 3:1-"To EVERYTHING there is a season, A time for EVERY purpose under heaven."

Matthew 6:24-"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."