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Noooooooo, not McD's! A date should not include a dollar menu.
I do agree that thrifty dates are not a bad thing. A walk through the local (and free) wildlife sanctuary would be uber-romantic, although not in our current snowstorm.
Interesting. Do you tell them this in advance? And "it bad?" Could you elaborate?
OK. I thought you meant that the girl's approval was the only thing that mattered on the date, not in pursuing the girl in order to the get the date. Although, I do know guys that have attempted to pursue a girl when she is very clearly uninterested.
Although I disagree that men paying for a date is a desperate ploy for the woman's affections (although there are some that pay in order to the play the 'I paid, so now you owe me something" card). Many of my male friends were simply raised on the idea that the men pay for the date, regardless. It's considered polite behavior. Now it's ingrained. They feel like they're being rude if they ask a girl to pay. It's an act of social respect in their minds, the same way these same men will always open a door for a lady or pull out her chair.
I'm not discrediting the post you quoted - b/c her thoughts are her own and are to be respected. But, I find it pretty disrespectful that you quote her and say she's wise just b/c she agrees with the way you think. There isn't a right and wrong answer to the issue of paying for a date - and implying so is judgemental, at best.
My apologies.
But wouldn't you agree that paying for her food isn't using money just so to get her approval or her to like you? Wouldn't you feel like "I owe him something" after you let him pay for two dates with nothing in return, except for your presence? Call me a fool but i'm not going to pay a girl to be in my presence, or to somehow show my respect. I'll do that in a conventional way, one that doesn't involve throwing money at her.
In the beginning of a dating relationship, I assume that the guy I am dating is on his very best behavior, that he is putting his best foot forward and trying to make the best first impression possible. When a guy pays for a date, it shows me that he is trying to be courteous, respectful, and generous, that he has somewhat traditional values regarding dating, and that he had at least some interest in making a good impression.
That being said, I have no problem with free or low-cost dates. When I go out on a date with someone, I am trying to decide if I enjoy that person's company and if I feel a connection towards them, if we have things in common, etc. Some of the best dates I have ever had were simply hanging out with someone, talking, playing video games, walking around a park, or watching a movie on TV. I don't expect a man to break the bank trying to impress me, and I understand that especially in these tough economic times that he may not have a lot of money to spare for dating. Also, I certainly wouldn't want a man to extend himself beyond his means just to impress me.
However, when a guy asks me out to dinner or a movie, I expect that he should be willing to pay if he was the one who extended the invitation. If he doesn't have the money to go out to dinner, that's fine... ask me to do something else that either costs less or is free. It makes no difference to me how much money a guy spends on a date, but I think it is in poor taste to invite a girl on a date if you have no intention of picking up the tab. Going back to the whole "first impression" thing, I assume that the first date is someone's very best behavior- if "going dutch" or paying the whole tab is his best behavior, what will things be like a few months down the road?
Once a relationship has been established, I have no issue with splitting the bill more often or even paying for some dates. At that point, I think it becomes more about communication, partnership, and "give and take" so that the relationship does not become one-sided.
lemme explain it this way...
who'se a girl gonna see again?
the guy who paid for her lunch a couple of dates and treated her o-so-well?
or the guy who made her buy her own lunch and had some heart and got to know her straight up.
see.
it's a communication thing. it's called swagga. learn it son.
What's your position on paying for dates? I'm generally somewhat old fashioned and believe that I should pay for most things, if not everything during a date. Some women I know love it, some will argue about it. Wondering what your peoples opinions are vis-a-vis who pays on a date.
I don't see paying $50 on a dinner for two is "throwing money at her" at least I don't consider it throwing money at me - not for a ecent priced meal. Now if you're broke and the girls have really low standars they may feel $25 is throwing money at them but I doubt most WOMEN would.
No, I don't see it as a way for a guy to get my approval and it's not going to make me like a guy any more or less.
flnativegrl said:I don't feel like I owe a guy anything for taking me out on a date - and if he feels like I do b/c he pays our way, then he will get kicked to the curb quickly.
flnativegrl said:You aren't paying the girl to be in your presence. You requested her presence, so it is courtesy to pay for her, IMO. The way you keep saying "throw money at her" makes it sound like you are literally handing her money to be with you. If a guy had the attitude that he was "throwing money at me" by paying for our date, I would be completely turned off that he viewed me so cheaply. I'm not some money-hungry, gold digger that expects a guy to max out a credit card just to be graced with my presence. But, I do appreciate being treated to dinner, movies, whatever - to me, it says the guy likes me enough to show that he wants to be more than just friends.
What's your position on paying for dates? I'm generally somewhat old fashioned and believe that I should pay for most things, if not everything during a date. Some women I know love it, some will argue about it. Wondering what your peoples opinions are vis-a-vis who pays on a date.
I always pay, it just donsn't feel right to say "lets go to dinner friday, bring $20 for food" if I invite , I pay.
Alright, so then it doesn't matter if he splits the bill, since it's not going to make you like him more or less.
You don't? He just gave you 25+ dollars for nothing.
Well, you request her presence, but that doesn't mean you have to pay for it. A date means getting to know each other, why should only the man invest in this? To put it in business terms, both parties can make a profit, but both are also taking a risk, financially if you will.
Don't you think a guy's actions should define that he wants to be more than friends... like perhaps a love poem, a romantic card, flowers, anything. If he has to pay for your stuff for it to become clear to you that he likes you, then i think that's pretty materialistic. How often does a guy want you to pay for his stuff so he knows you like him?
Well i don't know about you, but if the guy spends $50 for a dinner with her, and she pays $0 for it, then i think it's pretty clear what's going on. And this is JUST to be with her! I have a lot of respect for women, but i don't see them as some kind of Godess who should have their bill payed because you're lucky to be with them, or something.
I'd see the first again. Just because he wants to be a gentleman, that does not mean that he will not get to know the girl "straight up" too. And he would obviously have some manners to boot.
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