crying....

[Musician4Jesus]

First off, you don't need to point out sin I'm already aware of in my own life. Second, you all keep making assumptions about my life based upon past actions. Okay you have no idea what my walk with God is like. You don't what I've been through in it. You don't have a right to try and "read my heart" because you're not God and only he has such an ability.

You want to know assumptions I've received?

My motives for serving God are impure
I'm doing nothing to repent of my sin
I'm not trying to prepare myself for the blessings God has given me

All of these ARE WRONG!

When you keep trying to force the situation to change that is wrong. It's not trusting God. We're supposed to prepare ourselves for the blessings God is going to give us with the resources he's made available to us. After that, there is nothing we can do except pray. Pray for provision and pray for patience in waiting on his timing. If he wants us to wait after we've done everything we can, then STILL trying to change the situation is implying lack of trust. If you cannot trust God enough to provide for your needs he willl not.

Oh, and fyi, I'm trying to reconcile things with my friends. However, this isn't an easy transition for a number of reasons. One, they're my brothers and sisters in Christ. Two, I once enjoyed close fellowship with them. Three, they were a huge source of support in my walk with God since my biological family isn't saved. Now, I go from all this to the relationships drifting. I really don't appreciate being treated like I don't exist by them.
Do they have their own lives? Yeah, I'm aware of this. However, you're not supposed to become so selfish with your own life that you fail to think how your actions affect others. I'm trying to reconcile with them. God has already revealed to me that they haven't done this delibarately and they probably don't realize they're doing anything wrong. When you fail to think how your actions affect others that is sinful. It violates what Scripture says because Scriptures teaches to love your neighbor as yourself. This passage implies that you're supposed to think of how your actions affect others and that you're supposed to think of others before yourself. Why? Because loe is selfless. This is NOT me being angry. This is simply God revealing to me why what they've done is wrong. I'm not condemning them. Scripture says that if you see a person in a sin you're supposed to rebuke them lovingly.

 

[Musician4Jesus]

In a way I'm still angry with them. However, God has already softened my heart and I'm trying to cooperate with him on this.
I've actually been open to him revealing to me why they're doling what they're doing.

Yeah God is teaching me that relationships change and people are basically unreliable. However, this is extremely difficult because these major changes that happened in my relationships happened when I'm already going through a difficult time. This exacerbates an already difficult situation.

 

[Irascible]

So once again, I am going to ask that you stop rideculing her.

rid‧i‧cule 
–noun
2.to deride; make fun of.

It hasn't happened.

The first comment I ever made to her in another thread, one that I had considered very carefully and that had no ridicule whatsoever (even by your liberal definition of the word), was responded to with a PM that said shut-up moron. "Moron" was in the title. I was impressed. :\ I did not reply in kind but rather persisted as best I could and was met with hostility. I wasn't the only one dealt with in this manner. If that's not anger, you and I speak different languages. As I have alluded to, wearing rose colored glasses is the opposite of love.

Having said that, I lack context - your context. You know a very different M4J. I may very well be dealing with that M4J all wrong. But as you say, that's for her to reveal. I can't comment on a person I don't know. I can only comment on what she reveals.

Of course, it is our Father that understands all of this best. I'll leave it in His and your hands and not comment to her, either of the hers, again.

 

[joanna1]

There are times when you feel so bad that you just don't know what to do - and however fed up people are of hearing complaints I think they should thank God for the strength he has given them and show compassion for the weak. I do not feel compassion in your posts, Irascible. And I also feel your whole judgement philosophy is based an a complete misunderstanding of the verse you keep quoting, but that's another story.

I went through a time of looking down on complainers and feeling very confident in my ability to cope with life, and a few years on I'm often left in the evenings nearly convulsing with emotionnal and physical pain - praying and pleading God for mercy.
I can relate to what M4Jesus says - although she will probably find out with experience that in those cases it's best to go and post in the "women who struggle" board than on the singles one.
Readers should remember that posting on a board is often a wise way of letting free all the stuff you don't want to burden your immediate friends with.
I particularly understand when she talks about thinking God has provided an answer only to wake up and find out it's nothing of the kind, and the situation is only getting worse.

I don't know an answer - I havn't found a solution. I too end up racking through my brain trying to think of unresolved sins to put right, hoping it will help mend the barrier between me and God, although i know it's not te point.
All I can think of to say is read Lamentations 3 and God did say he won't give his child something bad when you ask for something good. That's all I can think of....

 

[VictoriousSpirit]

There are times when you feel so bad that you just don't know what to do - and however fed up people are of hearing complaints I think they should thank God for the strength he has given them and show compassion for the weak. I do not feel compassion in your posts, Irascible. And I also feel your whole judgement philosophy is based an a complete misunderstanding of the verse you keep quoting, but that's another story.

I went through a time of looking down on complainers and feeling very confident in my ability to cope with life, and a few years on I'm often left in the evenings nearly convulsing with emotionnal and physical pain - praying and pleading God for mercy.
I can relate to what M4Jesus says - although she will probably find out with experience that in those cases it's best to go and post in the "women who struggle" board than on the singles one.
Readers should remember that posting on a board is often a wise way of letting free all the stuff you don't want to burden your immediate friends with.
I particularly understand when she talks about thinking God has provided an answer only to wake up and find out it's nothing of the kind, and the situation is only getting worse.

I don't know an answer - I havn't found a solution. I too end up racking through my brain trying to think of unresolved sins to put right, hoping it will help mend the barrier between me and God, although i know it's not te point.
All I can think of to say is read Lamentations 3 and God did say he won't give his child something bad when you ask for something good. That's all I can think of....

I agree with you and wanted to add my "Me too". Well said.

 

[Musician4Jesus]

First you're once again basing it on past actions. This is the here and NOW, NOT past tense. God forgives us our sin we commit in the past. So why should you keep bringing up how I've sinned in the past? God doesn't do that, so why should you? True, we have to suffer the consequences of our sin. However, I'm trying to repent of my sin. The more I ponder on reconciliation with my friends, the more God lays it on my heart and convicts me of it. The more he does this, the more he softens my heart. As a result I have a desire to forgive them and I'm horrible with forgiveness. That is not attempting to repent from sin? That is making no attempt to let go of anger? I beg to differ. Trust me I'm trying to repent of this sin, but this is a gradual process for me. It's like Jesus said, the spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak.

 

[Irascible]

The "past" was precisely two weeks ago. Those lovely PMs... two weeks ago. You make it sound like I'm dredging up ancient history.

Nevertheless, you've acknowledged the problem and are apparently dealing with it. That seems like more than what was happening two weeks ago.

I'm sure you won't believe it, but if it's real then I'm truly happy for you. I wallowed in my own pit of self-pity and despair for a long time. I know what a difference it makes to emerge from it. And yes, it is an incredibly hard thing to do. I still struggle with forgiveness.

 

[VictoriousSpirit]

The "past" was precisely two weeks ago. Those lovely PMs... two weeks ago. You make it sound like I'm dredging up ancient history.

Nevertheless, you've acknowledged the problem and are apparently dealing with it. That seems like more than what was happening two weeks ago.

I'm sure you won't believe it, but if it's real then I'm truly happy for you. I wallowed in my own pit of self-pity and despair for a long time. I know what a difference it makes to emerge from it. And yes, it is an incredibly hard thing to do. I still struggle with forgiveness.

I thought you weren't going to comment on anymore.

 

[Irascible]

That was based on the assumption that further chat would be worthless. (Yes... I know. It turned worthless long before that. ) It was a bad assumption.

I did not see, or perhaps more accurately stated, I did not believe that she had truly acknowledged the anger and bitterness was at the heart of her problem. Having been on the receiving end of it for completely unwarranted reasons two weeks ago both publicly and privately, it was a human reaction to put her in that box. We are to of course rise above our humanity with His help. But as M4J will tell you herself, that takes time. It's only been two weeks. It's hard to believe she's changed that quickly. And it's hard for those whose only exposure to her has been a bitter one to believe it that quickly.

But of course it hasn't been that quick. The changes that she professes to be working on started long ago and will continue. So as I say, if they're real then praise God. If they're real then that means I failed to see it soon enough. For that I'm sorry. Forgiveness and change are just as hard for me as her. Tough love was the right prescription for the caricature I saw two weeks ago. Not necessarily so for the one being portrayed now.

Incidentally, "caricature" is no insult. These online personas are all caricatures. You'd be shocked if you met me in person. In some respects I'm nothing like you see here. I've never even owned an eagle. The same goes for M4J I'm sure. But it's all we have to work with on a forum.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I thought you weren't going to comment on anymore.

His last post clearly shows he was reaching out to M4J-

 

[Weasel7711]

Maybe you are trying too hard to earn God's blessings and love. Maybe He just wants you to trust Him.

 

[JPPT1974]

Just trust in Jesus is all that
You really need to do
Don't try too hard!

 

[Musician4Jesus]

Why do people think I'm trying to earn God's love?! I'm NOT trying to earn his love. Look I KNOW that salvation is through grace alone, accepting what Jesus did for you on the cross, and accepting and confessing that you're a sinner who cannot save yourself. I've already DONE this AND ACCEPTED it in my heart.

Why do people keep making the assumption that I'm doing this to glorify myself? That I'm doing this to try to earn the love of God?! I'm not! Do you want to know my motives for serving God? LOVE. Love for him and a desire to pleae him. I want to show him how thankful I am for what he's done in my life and continues to do in my life. I express this through service. It's how I show my love to others AND GOD. I already know the love of God cannot be earned.

 

[Musician4Jesus]

And I know faith without works is dead but that doing good works isn't how you receive salvation and eternal life.

Ephesians 2:8-9....

 

[Asherz]

Why do people think I'm trying to earn God's love?! I'm NOT trying to earn his love.

I hope its okay for me to be posting in here. If its not, please, delete my post, and I'll quietly move back into the wings.

M4J, from what I've read on this thread and one other, I don't think you are trying to earn God's love or salvation. Is it possible, however, that you might be trying to earn His blessings by saying, "God, I did a, b, and c for you just as you wanted, so why don't you bless me with d, e, and f like I asked for?"

 

[Gardener101]

"...having to wait on his timing just exacerbates the desire."


I'm not really one to rely on such a sentiment. I believe that God has given me the authority to go out there and grab what I want. If you believe that God is with you, then who can be against you? Then you have to go out into the world and make YOUR OWN waves. Chase after things that you desire, dream dreams, WORK HARD to make them come to fruition, all the way claiming Gods blessing in your life.

There are, I believe, very few situations that requires waiting on the Lord. If you are a tither, you should be taking risks (e.g. quiting a low paid job and looking for a better paid job) without fear or trepidation about your future or how you are going to cope without a job during the time you are searching for another one. Yes, you got that right. Quit the old job first and spend your notice period looking for the new job. I have done this more than once and God has never failed me.

Christians should be STRONG AND VERY COURAGEOUS because God commanded us to be that way.

Blessings.

 

[Irascible]

I like your attitude Gardener in the sense that it's the counterpoint to the way many go about trying to attain blessing: They sit in their chairs, think deeply religious thoughts and wait for Him to plop what they want into their laps. They do next to nothing on their own and call that "waiting on God".

However, for those who live check to check it's absolutely foolish to quit a job prior to attaining a new one. My entire working life I could get a job at the drop of a hat. That had nothing to do with my faith. It had everything to do with being in careers where employers are perpetually wanting of good help. If you've read M4J's posts in this thread and others, it's pretty apparent she doesn't have such an advantage. She may need to step out in faith and take some risks. But faith is no excuse to act foolishly.

 

[sgrimsley]

This past year has been one of the hardest I have ever been through, but never has God been so real to me. I no longer ask Him for anything, I just thank Him. The tribulations he has given me, and many others as we can see, are only there to either bless us or chasten us. God never gives you anything you can't handle, and the tougher things get for me, the more thankful and flattered I am that God knows I can handle it. Just say to God, "Thank you! I love you!" Instead of asking Him for anything just thank him for what He has given you and tell Him you'll accept whatever He feels is right for you. If you truly believe this in your heart, watch what happens. I promise you won't regret it. God is great! Make a joyful noise! And remember, we're just passing through. God bless you and keep you.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

From this point on, if you don't have a word of encouragement for M4J, please refrain from posting. A way of showing love is to pray for our brothers and sisters when they are hurting.

 

[JPPT1974]

Sorry if you felt that we were being
Hard on you M4J as that wasn't our intention
Really we are very sorry!
You will have my full support and understanding and only hope that you can accept your apology and forgive us
We all need to learn.