crying....

[Arclight610]

Sigh. More vacuous usage of the word "judgement". As Christians we are supposed to judge one another. I'd quote you scripture, but then I already have.

An unfortunately huge percentage of Christians receive the gift of salvation but never realize its power. They relive a pattern over and over again. They have the same laments. They get the same advice. They hear the same solace. They may feel better for a time. Then back down they go. Sound familiar?

There are good solutions. You've heard them over and over and declared them to be judgemental. So you've opted for the bad solutions. I know of at least two commonly played out bad solutions. I've tried them both in my own life:
1) You'll go on this way for some interminably long period of time. Life will pass you by. Then at some point, after so much potential is wasted, you'll finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Then you'll embrace the advice from people you use to call judgemental.
2) Something really horrible will happen, perhaps worse than you've already experienced. Or perhaps it'll be on par with past experiences, but this time it'll be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. You'll spiral down and finally, out of utter desperation, give up this pattern for something new.

There are of course many other ways it can play out. However it plays out, from what you've posted it's apparent that at this time you're choosing a hard path. If that sounds bleak, it's meant to. I see no hope for you until you choose to embrace that hope. You can't embrace hope until you let go of anger and bitterness.

I also love how people call me judgmental. They use it way out of context. If none of us were "judgmental" then we would all be dead or hurting. The context it is used in is suppose to be used in the terms of judging thier eternal soul, which we cannot.

Wow. I'm going to come to M4J's defense here. Seriously, if you can't type something nice... then break your fingers.

Your response was mean-spirited.

So was yours. Maybe you should be the one breaking your own fingers.

you know everytime someone tries to help you-- you state they are judging you.

UNTIL you are ready to see what is really going on, and stop saying poor me-- YOUR life will never change.

So true. People rant about how bad thier life is going and how much they want to improve it. You give them useful advice and tell it like it is "JUDGMENTAL! How dare you!!!! And you call yourself a Christian!!!!"

look up past threads and you might get what is trying to be said here.

I too get tired of the bitterness and pity me parties.

Yep. There are always people that are far worse off.

-TJ-

 

[Musician4Jesus]

But not in a condmening way. You don't know how hard I've TRIED to make my life better. I'm trying to make my situation better with the resources God has made available to me. Unfortunately, I end up right back where I start when God provides an opportunity to get me out of this mess.

I'm NOT doing this to earn my salvation! I'm NOT serving to glorfiy myself! WHY am I serving? I'm doing so out of love for God and a desire to please him and love for people.


Fyi, I'm trying to find joy in God! I DO NOT complain about everything! I'm trying to have a realistic out look on my life and take the good WITH the bad. I'm counting my blessings and thanking God for them! Last time I checked, that IS not being negative! You don't have any right to accuse me of not trying WHEN I AM! If you want to know how, then I'll tell you how.

 

[Musician4Jesus]

Oh and fyi, with how condemning you all have come off, you're making it sound like it's sin to be in pain and sorrow! Well I'm sorry, but when I'm being screwed so much with hours at work that I cannot make enough to provide for myself, IT'S FRUSTRATING!

 

[Musician4Jesus]

As for needing to forgive, yeah I know I need to. I already know I suck with it. However, relationships in my life have been a nightmare. My relationship with my family and parents continues to become worse. This is because they're not saved and I am. Thus we clash on everything. It's really hard to forgive when I keep receiving ridiculous accusations from them on a regular basis. God is softening my heart regarding forgiving my friends. However, this transition is rough to begin with. Then it happens in a difficult time in my life and it exacerbates a difficult situation.

I'm NOT trying to feel sorry for myself! I'm doing the best I can!
I'm trusting in God's timing and that eventually things will get better. This is NOT EASY TO DO when you're in a difficult situation!

 

[covenantwmn]

I know what it's like to try everything and nothing seems to work. I pray you will hang in there, really dig into the Word and stay in fellowship with other believers. People generally are sympathetic and want to help if they are aware, if you're attending a good church. My heart goes out to you, it is very hard and scary when you don't know how you're going to survive. I pray you will be encouraged, the LORD is faithful. Blessings.

 

[Blank123]

Oh and fyi, with how condemning you all have come off, you're making it sound like it's sin to be in pain and sorrow! Well I'm sorry, but when I'm being screwed so much with hours at work that I cannot make enough to provide for myself, IT'S FRUSTRATING!

no its not a sin to be hurting or frustrated, but it is wrong to be bitter and angry all the time... the Bible exhorts us to be joyful and praising God in every situation which would include when we're getting 'screwed' with work hours. Maybe you can't help the situation you're in but you most certainly can help how you react to it.

 

[Musician4Jesus]

I'm also praying for provision and resting in God's peace. I know if you worry this is implying to God that he cannot provide for you needs. I already know that if you cannot trust God enough to believe he'll provide for your needs he will not.

 

[Tink]

...wow.

 

[Princess Pea]

Musician - I am sorry that you have experienced so much pain and sorrow in your life. I am also sorry that no one here seems to be able to provide you with what you're looking for. Although, I wonder ... can you describe what you are looking for here? What is it that you want, Musician?

You do realize, don't you, that every person on the planet has experienced, or will experience, pain and sorrow? I don't say this to minimize your pain and sorrow, but to try to remind you that you are not alone after all. You have not been specially singled out by God for punishment, or even by the devil for torture. You are experiencing the human condition. It's hard sometimes. Even for believers.

As to finding someone who can give you what you're looking for, or even help you figure out what it is you're looking for - have you considered looking into counseling at all?

 

[Deliberatetourist]

I'm also praying for provision and resting in God's peace. I know if you worry this is implying to God that he cannot provide for you needs. I already know that if you cannot trust God enough to believe he'll provide for your needs he will not.

Musician. A good friend of mine gave me some advice once. He said "Jason, even a blind squirrel gets an acorn every now and then. If you're not getting anything then maybe it's time to take a breather, sit back and ask yourself if in fact someone just might be trying to tell you something". Trust me I have been in the position where you are now and even worse. Sometimes drastic situations call for drastic measures and major changes in our lifestyles. When the doors are all closed do we really think that they are gonna open when we stand there all day and scream at the top of our lungs? It just might be high time to take some major innitiative and look at some options for yourself that you haven't ever considered.

 

[A2597]

Wow guys...

is this how we shall treat someone in need of encuragement? She's our sister in Christ, and she has her head on right. She is going through an incredibly hard time and needs our prayers and our support, not ridicule.

There are times I am very proud to be a member of this community, and there are times I am reminded that we are all sinful creatures prone to judge and assume the worst in everyone.

As Christians, we are called to Love, and support our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (And everyone else for that matter)

Musician4Jesus came here for that support, and I've seen very little given, but much ridicule and assumptions about her being doled out. I can say that after many conversations with her, that she needs support right now, and that she is a very solid Christian who is going through a very very difficult time in her life.

So my siblings in salvation, let us help our sister in need any way that we can through these limited means. Pray for her of course, because she certainly needs that. But offer up kind and uplifting words of encuragement, for those are needed as well.

 

[covenantwmn]

Wow guys...

is this how we shall treat someone in need of encuragement? She's our sister in Christ, and she has her head on right. She is going through an incredibly hard time and needs our prayers and our support, not ridicule.

There are times I am very proud to be a member of this community, and there are times I am reminded that we are all sinful creatures prone to judge and assume the worst in everyone.

As Christians, we are called to Love, and support our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (And everyone else for that matter)

Musician4Jesus came here for that support, and I've seen very little given, but much ridicule and assumptions about her being doled out. I can say that after many conversations with her, that she needs support right now, and that she is a very solid Christian who is going through a very very difficult time in her life.

So my siblings in salvation, let us help our sister in need any way that we can through these limited means. Pray for her of course, because she certainly needs that. But offer up kind and uplifting words of encuragement, for those are needed as well.

What he said.

 

[Irascible]

Musician4Jesus came here for that support...

So my siblings in salvation, let us help our sister in need any way that we can through these limited means.

If a drunken relative came to you and asked for support but refused to put the bottle down, would you invite him into your home? Would you pay for rehab the after the first time he dropped out? The second time? Would you over and over tell him about love as he tipped the bottle yet one more time? If so then you don't know what love is.

M4J is no drunk. In fact, she appears to be in many respects an upstanding Christian. But she grasps hold of anger and bitterness and refuses to let go. Perhaps you need to read her other threads to understand that. She tells those that point that out that they're being judgemental. Anger is her bottle. She won't put it down... yet. I'm certain that one day she will. But in the mean time the never ending message of permissive love only comforts her in her anger and reinforces her belief that she’s entitled to it.

I have helped her in my limited means as best I can. Offering a solution is support. Pointing out the truth is love. Reinforcing self-pity is the exact opposite of love.

 

[soda]

big hug all the way to you...

 

[sherri]

If a drunken relative came to you and asked for support but refused to put the bottle down, would you invite him into your home? Would you pay for rehab the after the first time he dropped out? The second time? Would you over and over tell him about love as he tipped the bottle yet one more time? If so then you don't know what love is.

M4J is no drunk. In fact, she appears to be in many respects an upstanding Christian. But she grasps hold of anger and bitterness and refuses to let go. Perhaps you need to read her other threads to understand that. She tells those that point that out that they're being judgemental. Anger is her bottle. She won't put it down... yet. I'm certain that one day she will. But in the mean time the never ending message of permissive love only comforts her in her anger and reinforces her belief that she’s entitled to it.

I have helped her in my limited means as best I can. Offering a solution is support. Pointing out the truth is love. Reinforcing self-pity is the exact opposite of love.

What he said but I would have been a lot more abrupt.

 

[VictoriousSpirit]

Wow. I'm going to come to M4J's defense here. Seriously, if you can't type something nice... then break your fingers.

Your response was mean-spirited.

I agree.

 

[VictoriousSpirit]

What he said.

Me too.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

If a drunken relative came to you and asked for support but refused to put the bottle down, would you invite him into your home? Would you pay for rehab the after the first time he dropped out? The second time? Would you over and over tell him about love as he tipped the bottle yet one more time? If so then you don't know what love is.

M4J is no drunk. In fact, she appears to be in many respects an upstanding Christian. But she grasps hold of anger and bitterness and refuses to let go. Perhaps you need to read her other threads to understand that. She tells those that point that out that they're being judgemental. Anger is her bottle. She won't put it down... yet. I'm certain that one day she will. But in the mean time the never ending message of permissive love only comforts her in her anger and reinforces her belief that she’s entitled to it.

I have helped her in my limited means as best I can. Offering a solution is support. Pointing out the truth is love. Reinforcing self-pity is the exact opposite of love.

Great post Ras

You can still support a person without surgar coating everything.

Like Ras said the rest of the people who think posters are being harsh should look up posts, and see the trail.

victim mentality is something we overcome with maturity.

 

[A2597]

Well guys, I've been talking to M4J through AIM for ohh...2-3 months now? So I know her situation well. (And I know she doesn't tell me everything that happens, if she were a pity seeker I have a feeling I'd be hearing ALOT more than I do, and that she'd have alot more topics running than she does)

There isn't alot of anger in her.

Frustration? Definatly.
Depressed? Yes.
Tired? Certainly.

And I think all with good reason. Comparing her to a drunk is incredibly mean, even if it was well intended. And you have to be aware how much that responce is going to hurt her.

Sherri, I've seen alot of your post here. And generally I agree with you on things. In this instance however, I cannot. You are all so quick to judge, and unfairly in this case.

I can understand your fears from some of her previous post, and I am here to come to her defence and tell you that you are wrong. You are mistaking frustration for Anger. (And a large dose of sadness in there, at the way her life has been going. The way people have been treating her, and on and on).

I can understand loving rebuke, and I've done my share of that in the past. But this is not the case for M4J. I said earlier that she has her head on straight, and she does.

She is not angry that others around her see their dreams fulfilled and she is left waiting, she is disheartened that she is left waiting.

Frankly my friends, I am of the impression that Satan is attacking her, and hitting her hard. I've experianced spiritual warefare in my past, and I've helped others through it. And recently I've become convinced that this is the case with M4J.

Emotionally, Physically, through her relationships. People go through hard time, and M4J is one of the stronger people I've met, but she keeps getting knocked down, with little in the way of a break. I could go into detail, but this is her story to tell, not mine. But Satan knows how to hit people the hardest, and he's throwing ALOT of things at her. (More than any of you here know).

So once again, I am going to ask that you stop rideculing her (Which, while well intentioned, is the oppocite of help in this case). She needs our love and support. And I am well aware that in some cases love means being tough, but that is not the case here, and doing so only exhuberates the situation.

 

[covenantwmn]

John 13:34, 35: "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
Blessings all.