Crushed dreams

[Bruce Leiter]

regret
well, I was right.
My parents said no.
I wish I never asked. They lost it and I started crying.
I don’t know if I’m sinning by wanting to go to school.
I just don’t get it. I knew my parents were gonna say no yet I was stupid by hoping it to be any other way.
Maybe I’m a sinner for wanting this, am I loving the world?
I just want to finish my education. I do know two people there so that does help.
I’m so lost in confused.

Genesis 2:24 says that when God presented Eve to Adam, Moses writes that their oneness leads to the conclusion that a young adult must separate from his/her parents to lead the life that God calls him/her to live--in that case marriage. I think that the real problem is that your parents don't want to let go of you, and you have trouble letting go of them.

It appears to me that God's will may be different from your parents' will. Your saying here on the forum is "God's will only." If you have prayed a lot for God to guide you and that school is still your strong desire, I suggest that you tell your parents that you have prayed a lot about this decision and that you believe God wants you to go there. Of course, pray a lot about that conversation first. You might just have to announce that you have to follow God's will first to them during that meeting. I'll put you on my daily prayer list for God's direction in your life.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

I get the sense you’ve been very sheltered and don’t have a lot of autonomy. Given your previous posts I’d gather your parents (especially your mother) have very defined ideas about your behavior and how you should live your life. With the expectation you’ll adhere to them. Control is an issue and it won’t get easier.

If you experience heavy handedness in your choice of clothing, college and major. You should expect the same while dating. When parents map out their children’s life it leaves little room for self-expression and personal growth. OCD may be a result of repression. Something to consider when it occurs.

Paint me a picture. What does your mother want you to study? What are her thoughts on marriage and family? It would be better to view your situation in light of their influence. You’ll know what they’ll embrace and veto beforehand. If they have a certain end in mind, they’ll steer you towards it. You have to operate within that sphere to get them on board.

That doesn’t mean you set aside your hopes and dreams. There are many paths to the goal. What would do with a degree in history or science? What kind of art do you enjoy? Did your mother work outside the home?

Don’t let my questions scare you. I have something in mind to help.

~Bella

Yes I’ve been sheltered for my whole life- something I knew which caused some rebellion. Nothing bad- just knowledge of the outside world, which lead me to bad things, and now, good things.
My mother also wants me to study history- it’s something I’m good at.
My mother doesn’t really want me to get married, but if I do, she wants it to be the opposite of my father.
I was/am a painter.
My mother never worked outside the home.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Genesis 2:24 says that when God presented Eve to Adam, Moses writes that their oneness leads to the conclusion that a young adult must separate from his/her parents to lead the life that God calls him/her to live--in that case marriage. I think that the real problem is that your parents don't want to let go of you, and you have trouble letting go of them.

It appears to me that God's will may be different from your parents' will. Your saying here on the forum is "God's will only." If you have prayed a lot for God to guide you and that school is still your strong desire, I suggest that you tell your parents that you have prayed a lot about this decision and that you believe God wants you to go there. Of course, pray a lot about that conversation first. You might just have to announce that you have to follow God's will first to them during that meeting. I'll put you on my daily prayer list for God's direction in your life.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

 

[bèlla]

Yes I’ve been sheltered for my whole life- something I knew which caused some rebellion. Nothing bad- just knowledge of the outside world, which lead me to bad things, and now, good things.

Restriction often breeds rebellion or curiosity. It’s a delicate balance. It is better to use consequence as an incentive and allow the child to reason their way through circumstances to develop wisdom and prudence. It isn’t enough for the parent to say something is harmful. The child must grasp the same on their level and make a different choice. Fairy tales and moral stories are useful tools to reinforce that principle.

My mother also wants me to study history- it’s something I’m good at.
My mother doesn’t really want me to get married, but if I do, she wants it to be the opposite of my father.
I was/am a painter.
My mother never worked outside the home.

Read what you’ve written aloud. Its important you hear it yourself. Where is God in all of that? What do you want? She can’t live your life or live vicariously through you either.

How will a history degree help you in this economy unless you plan to teach? Science would open more doors if you go the STEM route. If you never married, would you remain at home? Do you write?

~Bella

 

[Blade]

I don't know how old you are.. but.. if on your own.. or like my kids 28/25 still at home. Oh they both finished Collage before out of collage got a job at 'lockheed martin".

So.. I would do what my heart wants. where do we think those desires come from? GOD!

Me? 15-16 day before Xmas.. dad (step dad since I as 3) said "your going to grow up and be a bum all your life. He also like to use a board..allot. In my case.. SOMETIMES parents don't mean well.

My mom always went to Church and would like to take me but my dad always said no. So her and others prayed.. one day he just stop saying now. So PRAY! I will also be praying for you! There is NOTHING your GOD your FATHER can not do

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I’m not clear on your age either. Are you an adult? If so, then going to the school of your choice, deciding for yourself what to study, and finding a way to pay for it that doesn’t involve your parents is one option. If not, then it soon will be.

 

[Junia]

Probably not. They want the other school like, bad.
They don’t want me to go off any curriculum unless it’s my own “free” knowledge, like cheap amazon textbooks, etc.
Until next year which we will decide of what school.

But surely, if you are over 18 then you aren't bound by your parent's rules anymore?

 

[Junia]

I do believe your parents wants whats best for you, even though this may not be easy to see sometimes. God wants us to honor our parents, and since you are still living in their house, you will need to respect them, and keeping to their rules.

Our dreams aren't always aligned with what God has in mind for us, so sometimes it may look like it gets crushed, when we don't get what we want. If this would be a part of what God wants for you, then it will work out at some point later on.

Right now if you want to do wisely; You listen to your parents and just obey them.

Proverbs 1:8

"Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching."

And pray to God for wisdom in this, asking for Him to put this all together as He sees it best fit for you at this time. As nothing will go against what God has planned, and in His timing everything will be put together for good for those who love God!

If we are under age then yes we have to obey. After I turned 18 I stopped obeying mine as best as I could and chose my own life.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

regret
well, I was right.
My parents said no.
I wish I never asked. They lost it and I started crying.
I don’t know if I’m sinning by wanting to go to school.
I just don’t get it. I knew my parents were gonna say no yet I was stupid by hoping it to be any other way.
Maybe I’m a sinner for wanting this, am I loving the world?
I just want to finish my education. I do know two people there so that does help.
I’m so lost in confused.

This is very hard. It seems totally unreasonable for your parents to not want you to go to school. Schooling is important, so that you can get a good job. What is the reason your parents don't want you schooled?

Education is not "loving this world", it is often a part of God's plan for us.
When I was uneducated I had very hard jobs, labour intensive, now I have an education I have a great job, that I enjoy.

I would say aim to be educated, try to go for your goals, but speak to your parents about the fact you feel it is important for your future.

To me, I would say, their resistance is based on ungodly principals, by that I mean, their fears are motivated by darker forces, not God. They may be very religious people (I don't know them, they may not), but that does not mean they have every thing right. Some time very religious people have a lot wrong.

 

[Junia]

This is very hard. It seems totally unreasonable for your parents to not want you to go to school. Schooling is important, so that you can get a good job. What is the reason your parents don't want you schooled?

Education is not "loving this world", it is often a part of God's plan for us.
When I was uneducated I had very hard jobs, labour intensive, now I have an education I have a great job, that I enjoy.

I would say aim to be educated, try to go for your goals, but speak to your parents about the fact you feel it is important for your future.

To me, I would say, their resistance is based on ungodly principals, by that I mean, their fears are motivated by darker forces, not God. They may be very religious people (I don't know them, they may not), but that does not mean they have every thing right. Some time very religious people have a lot wrong.[/QUOTE

]

yes, Jesus cam eto set us free from lists of rules which are hard to live under. It sounds like unBiblical theology of they say a daughter over 18 has to do what her parents say. the Bible says "children" obey your parents. not adult children.

My parents were religious but highly abusive. Turned me agianst religion and God.... now I have received Jesus and am a born again christian living for HIm as best I am able but I still don't trsut man made religion. at all.