Coping

[quartzy]

I sort of feel that I am coping in life. But lately I know I am not and am just kidding myself. I need to be truly responsible for all of it and I am not. I find it very hard to love myself completely and do good things for myself, my diet, exercise, smoking, odd sleep patterns and even looking after skin has all gone to pot.

How can I get myself together I have been like this for some years now, I do study and do a voluntary job but that looks like it is coming to an end, due to having an op and needing many weeks off for rest. I also try to stick to a budget but am nearly maxed out on the credit card.

I need a tidy clean home, but again it still needs work to it, painting and curtains made and put up, as I have moved in here 6 months now. I am just generally feeling sorry for myself, after all I cannot blame abusers any more they are out of my life. It is all down to me, and that is the hardest.
I am negative and realise it, but there is no way to remove the dooming cloud that comes over me. I need support and do not know how to get it. I live in the UK, I could go to Mind but then again find it difficult to get washed and dressed in the mornings. I am not depressed just worn out from life. It is a struggle and I cant seem to get it how I want it, not even with Gods help. I do not attend church for the same sort of reasons, getting washed in the cold and out of the flat early enough. I dont want to be a couch potato, please if anyone knows how to break these cycles, do pass it on.

 

[turkle]

I sort of feel that I am coping in life. But lately I know I am not and am just kidding myself. I need to be truly responsible for all of it and I am not. I find it very hard to love myself completely and do good things for myself, my diet, exercise, smoking, odd sleep patterns and even looking after skin has all gone to pot.

How can I get myself together I have been like this for some years now, I do study and do a voluntary job but that looks like it is coming to an end, due to having an op and needing many weeks off for rest. I also try to stick to a budget but am nearly maxed out on the credit card.

I need a tidy clean home, but again it still needs work to it, painting and curtains made and put up, as I have moved in here 6 months now. I am just generally feeling sorry for myself, after all I cannot blame abusers any more they are out of my life. It is all down to me, and that is the hardest.
I am negative and realise it, but there is no way to remove the dooming cloud that comes over me. I need support and do not know how to get it. I live in the UK, I could go to Mind but then again find it difficult to get washed and dressed in the mornings. I am not depressed just worn out from life. It is a struggle and I cant seem to get it how I want it, not even with Gods help. I do not attend church for the same sort of reasons, getting washed in the cold and out of the flat early enough. I dont want to be a couch potato, please if anyone knows how to break these cycles, do pass it on.

I understand how you feel, because there was a time in my life when I did the same thing. I would stay up till dawn, and sleep past noon. I became lazy and lethargic, and I had no accountability. I was circling the drain.

My mother was the same way. She would not dress if she wasn't leaving the house, so she would stay in her pajamas for days sometimes. She became very depressed, and started hoarding. She was a mess.

My grandmother, on the other hand, was up before dawn every single day, until she could no longer do so in her 90s. She did her makeup and hair, even though her failing eyesight made it difficult. She was a very elegant lady.

I had to choose which way I would go. Left to my own devices, the path of least resistance was to continue to be lazy. But I hated it, and I didn't want to end up like my mother. So I made some choices.

I changed my habits. Now I get up at 5:30 every morning, even though I don't have to. My husband and I do our God time for an hour. Then, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday I go to the gym. On Tuesday and Thursday, I am showered with hair and makeup done by 7am, at which time I get to work. On Saturdays and Sundays I sleep in till 6 or 6:30, and then I'm up and spending time with the Lord.

You need to start small. In your shoes, the first order of business is to get up in the morning, get washed up and dressed, even if you have nowhere to go. Something happens to your attitude when you are looking sharp and clean.

Then, do housework for 15 minutes a day. That's it. Give yourself the ability to stop and pat yourself on the back. You need small victories. Once you get them regularly, you will want to do more. Notice how you feel when you accomplish something...it's marvelous. So accomplish at least one thing every single day. The more you do, the more you will want to do.

My mother died a miserable, lonely, angry person because she never took charge of her life...she just waited for life to happen to her. It never did. Don't be like her! We have the opportunity to do God's work, so let's get on with it. You can do it!

 

[quartzy]

Thank you so much for your post, it is very encouraging, that you were like it and chose to be different, and that I should do one thing at a time. IT is encouraging and I hope to make a start. God bless to you

 

[1watchman]

It is entirely possible, quartzy, that you have a biological depression, and that can be helped by a mild medication. I recommend you talk to your Physician. You can also help your situation by realizing that God made you as a special vessel in this world; so, live for Him and help build up other people ---that will improve your self-image and give you some satisfaction, peace, and purpose. Reading your Bible daily will help much ---begin at John 1; John 3; John 14; then pray for God's leading and help, and make Bible reading and prayer a daily practice and you will see much improvement.