What if God's perfect mate for you has children?
I disagree with this. Unless she got divorced because the husband cheated or died then she shouldn't have kids and be a virgin, there would only be one exception to this rule but that happened 2000 years ago, but she was still a virgin.
I used to get depressed about this also... too much self value and worth into the hands of others - such as finding a soul mate who will validate me.
I agree with this but I would like to point out a massively important addition.
But yes a wife wont make you happy, nothing will. And when you put your happiness based on things that you can't control you set yourself up for failure. I don't want to sound mean but it IS possible that you could be alone for the rest of your life, and that would mean you would be unhappy all that time.
But there are no soul mates or one and only. God may have picked a person for you whether you believe in fate or w/e but you are compatible with MANY MANY MANY women, there is no magical soul mate. Some people think this idea is true and it only harms them. I mean what if you got married and your wife exploded, is that it? You wouldnt be able to find another woman ever? Of course you would, because marriage has nothing to do with soul mates thats just hallmark card nonsense.
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Waiting is not easy. I don't like waiting at all. But God's goodness is worth waiting for. Can you imagine just how precious this relationship that you've been waiting for, hoping for, praying for, comes along. God is going to bless your socks off.
No one likes waiting. Heres a joke. Why is patience a virtue? Why cant hurry the crap up be a virtue?
This is very important and cant be seen because you haven't experienced both sides. People who have rampant sex aren't happy and their relationships are shallow and full of baggage and mistrust not to mention STDs and unwanted kids. They aren't happy, why do you think divorce is so high, and that number is skewed b/c of Christians and people being divorced but not legally or not even getting married with baby daddies and that sinful stuff. Would you really trade a chance at a real Christian marriage where you love each other intimately like Jesus loves us? Its not even comparable to a secular marriage or sex because it is such a deep love thats real and not just sex. I wonder if a non Christian has ever said "in submission and obedience" and meant it (well non abrahamic). Its like sure there are lots of easy harlots but when you dig for a diamond you are going to find a lot of dirt and fools gold first. I mean do you really want to trade a wonderful marriage for cheap sex with a literal harlot by occupation? I know it won't make you feel better in fact if you did it you feel so depressed after if you are really a child of God.
And the second part is you MAY be alone forever. Who knows the world could end. You could die randomly. God didn't promise you a wife, He promised salvation. And if you woudlnt't give up sex or marriage for God then you need to rethink your priorities and what God means to you, because thats a much bigger problems then if you get married or not. I know its hard and it sucks because we humans see things in the scope of humanity. But are you going to trade eternity for a brief moment of experience (notice I didnt say happiness)? When we are in heaven we wont want sex. That love a husband has for a wife and jesus for us and a wife for her husband will be how EVERYONE feels about EVERYONE without having sex to ruin everything.
You know how stupid and annoying sex is? I hate sex. I wish it didn't exist. Seriously. All it is, is a temptation that causes problems, and I can't wait to be rid of it when I die. I mean what you get naked and wrestle for a while so you can get rid of some desire? Thats really really stupid. How absurb is sex. Yeh every so often I have to naked wrestle my wife because I just start wanting it. Its not even about kids, cuz you always want sex if you had a million kids or are sterile. Same for hunger, same for thirst, same for all the other nonsense we have to put up with.
Now don't get me wrong ladies I want sex, all the time, no matter what, because mmm women nom nom nom. I want sex like someone doesn't want green eggs and ham. And I hope I can not be depressed and get a wife and make us both very very sexually satisfied. I want to make my future wife happy in every way and although she may say she is attracted to men (liars, all of you, men are gross and hairy and don't even have BOOBIES) and is satisfied I don't believe it, nope never. No way a woman can be as satisfied by a man as a man can be by a woman, just isnt possible sorry (I jest). I think Im going to have to explain to my wife how we have to delay the actualy honeymoon trip unless she is ok with only seeing the inside of a hotel room for two weeks. I guess we could compromise and get one with a view...
Ok Im probably breaking some sort of rules sorry. But I felt really bad most of today and now its lifted so the relief is making me a bit silly.
Had to bump the thread to say that today was another one of those days. Broke down crying in the cafeteria during break time. If I knew that this endless suffering had some sort of purpose, that would be something. As such, I seem to have an urge for companionship that God doesn't seem to care about.
The companionship God wants you to have is with God not with a woman in marriage. If you can't be happy with just God adding a woman isnt going to help at all.
I have MDD and feel horrible often... ah man I just killed my happiness for you... but can you take care of wife and kids? We gotta take care of ourselves first. I look at it like I have a future wife and I love her so much that even now when I don't know who she is, I love her position as wife and work towards all the things I can do for when I find out who my wife is, if I have one. Because regardless of who my wife is there is always things I can do to be a better man for her and to love her now. And in this time where there is no reward for loving her, but I love her anyway, it only strengthens my future marriage because I am willing to love her before she loved me in a way. I may receive ridicule and despair and lonliness but these are sacrifices to God and to her. So when we get married it will be so nice and all the rewards of a wife will make it easy. Like how people who have sex with anyone and try to get married already have the rewards so they only get baggage and hate for the opposite sex or certaain behaviors and poison their minds and cant even keep a relationship with all the rewards of sex (but they don't have intimacy and real love).
...and on that note, I'll leave you with 2 awesome quotes:
