- Jan 31, 2019
- 3
- 12
- 30
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I’m only a few months into my faith journey, and I would say I’ve already changed a lot, and I’m trying to be better - I’m more conscious of the things I say, and not using profanity, I stopped watching certain television shows that seemed to really clash with my faith, and I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about sin. I struggle a lot to know the difference between knowing ‘this is wrong’ and ‘I’m paranoid, because I suffer with ill mental health, and worry too much’.
For example, I feel guilt when money is spent on me, or at the thought of going on vacation or anything like that - I feel like it’s wrong of me to have things or do things, when people have so little. I’ve also been telling myself that television (in moderation, especially compared to the amount of time I used to spend watching) is okay, as long as I’m not devoting my life to it, or taking lessons from it, but I do find myself worrying about things like the shows/films I watch, too.
I spend a lot of time feeling anxious about sinning, or doing the wrong thing, which I assume isn’t a healthy way to be! Do these things become clearer in time? Should it be obvious whether or not I’m being guided by God or my own worries? I constantly feel like I’m doing things ‘wrong’, those aren’t the only two instances - it’s almost as if I’ve chosen to start obsessing over what is or what isn’t a sin, and though I feel at peace when I pray, the worry seems to come back quite quickly.
I hope this is an okay thing to post/the right place to post it! I just need a little bit of guidance, if anybody has any. I love God, and I think my biggest fear is not being good enough for Him, especially after 20+ years of not having faith. Hope this makes some sense. Thank you in advance!
For example, I feel guilt when money is spent on me, or at the thought of going on vacation or anything like that - I feel like it’s wrong of me to have things or do things, when people have so little. I’ve also been telling myself that television (in moderation, especially compared to the amount of time I used to spend watching) is okay, as long as I’m not devoting my life to it, or taking lessons from it, but I do find myself worrying about things like the shows/films I watch, too.
I spend a lot of time feeling anxious about sinning, or doing the wrong thing, which I assume isn’t a healthy way to be! Do these things become clearer in time? Should it be obvious whether or not I’m being guided by God or my own worries? I constantly feel like I’m doing things ‘wrong’, those aren’t the only two instances - it’s almost as if I’ve chosen to start obsessing over what is or what isn’t a sin, and though I feel at peace when I pray, the worry seems to come back quite quickly.
I hope this is an okay thing to post/the right place to post it! I just need a little bit of guidance, if anybody has any. I love God, and I think my biggest fear is not being good enough for Him, especially after 20+ years of not having faith. Hope this makes some sense. Thank you in advance!