Considering Sleeping with this Guy and Not Feeling Guilty About It..

[jesus_freak_for_life]

oh and thank you to everyone that's sticking by me.. i know im difficult..

 

[Sunbeam]

She says its okay for her and it sure looks like she's looking for people to support her in this instead, perhaps liberal christians to Private Message her, who have probably already done this, and they are all over these forums too and are not hard to find. They don't have the guts to post in this thread and show who they are because well they know they are guilty and they also honestly will say that they wouldn't want to go against a person's conscience when displayed and in this thread her conscience was originally displayed, but in private they will say "oh it doesn't matter, we're under grace, and its love and not hurting anyone". Are they God? Jesus? The Father? The Holy Spirit? A trusted proven godly person? They are totally and completely wrong and are not your friend.

I was reading the Oral sex in marriage thread before and ran into a bunch of liberal christians who thinks premartial sex is okay as the conservation did flow into other subjects. They are in many other forums too. And we have also today the type of liberal christians that are close friends with pagans, and witches too and their lack of godly morals, and that is fine with these liberal christians if they are nice and "cool".

That kind of coolness is dead to God's word. Dead to ways of life.

God and no christian needs to be at your beck and call to come up with "the magic words" that satisfy your personal intellectual needs to not do something that you know is wrong. God's commandments and commonsense is all you need. You have plenty of good advice, and yet all you can keep visualizing is your pleasures, and what your liberal friends would think, and not the consequences and not what God says. Doesn't it concern you that you cannot control your mind? I would try to find peace instead of indulging in pleasures to rid myself of the awareness of my lack of peace and self-control.

Where do we find the "unsubscribe" button for these threads? I can't find it. I think I used it once though. But lately I cannot find it, and I have threads I do not want mailings on anymore.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

oh my goodness.. im looking for someone who will HELP ME GET BACK ON TRACK.. im not looking for someone to encourage me to have sex with him.. i want help.. what's wrong with you? you talk about being under God and this and that but you're being reallly hypocritical. im just being honest. im not getting helped and im continually reaching out but keep getting shut down! what kind of christians are these!?!

 

[Sunbeam]

christlike to give up on someone when they need help.. urgh..

__________________

When you display you don't care, it is Christlike to give up on you. And you have displayed that. Do you know how much time it has taken me and the others here to organize our thoughts and type out these posts? Probably several or more hours of time. That shows we care, doesn't it?

You changed your original intent and attitude, and Christ and his followers would change his attitude towards you as well.
You can't put me on a guilt trip. I know Christ is not a weak very liberal mother figure who will constantly be longsuffering to you even when you decide to do wrong. He is a Judge for those who do wrong and want to do wrong and defend wrong, and He is for helping those when they actually need help.

We have been empathetic. I bet nearly every one of us here has struggled with sexual desires outside of marriage, and some of us still do struggle if we are single. We aren't saying any advice that we don't tell ourselves. We haven't been rude. We have been as firm as how we talk to ourselves inside and which works.

 

[katelyn]

k so.. if i dont have intercourse with him.. oral sex and all the stuff that comes before it will more than likely happen.. and it wouldn't make that big of a deal since i've already experienced all these things..

It is a big deal. It grieves the heart of God to see his children trapped in sin when he offers you a way out and a second chance. God can redeem you from your past. It won't disappear from your memory, but he forgives you...but you also have to forgive yourself and see yourself in the cleanliness God restores to you.

We all make mistakes, but we are supposed to "go and sin no more" (John 8:11). When you make a mistake, it doesn't mean you are bound to do it again. God is always ready to give you freedom if you trust him. Please let him heal you and also restore your self-image so that you see yourself as a loved child of God instead of only seeing the mistakes.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

christlike to give up on someone when they need help.. urgh..

I think it's time to put the ball in JFFL's court.

JFFL, sex is for married adults. A big part of coming of age, is being able to answer for yourself and your actions. What do you plan to do to help yourself?

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

i feel bound.. i feel like i can't escape..

and sunbeam, you have a horrible idea of being christlike.. bleh. im TRYING TO ESCAPE THIS, and you're just walking away.. Jesus said He would never leave us.. so what are you doing? You're being hypocritical, that's what..

 

[katelyn]

i feel bound.. i feel like i can't escape..

That's exactly how Satan wants you to feel. He wants you to be blind to God's mercy and redemption.

But it's there. I'm going to give you a quote from Beth Moore's book, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things. It's an excellent book if you would like to read it, especially the 3rd section.

"Satan wants you to feel hopeless. He is a liar. You belong to God. Tighten that helmet of salvation around your head. Know that you know you are His and nothing has ripped you from His hand. If need be, take a pen and write in the margin several times, "I am God's."

"You may wish you could flee from God's presence...but if you rise on the wings of the dawn and if you settle on the far side of the sea, even there His hand will guide you, and His right hand will hold you fast (Ps. 139:9-10).

"...Somewhere along the way, the enemy talked you into lowering your shield of faith....Perhaps he came at you with the same words he used to seduce Eve: "Did God really say...?" Yes, He really said...Pick [your shield] back up and choose to believe He is who He says He is, and He'll do what He says He'll do."

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

JFFL, she's not trying to be hurtful. But you have just shrugged off a lot of what people said. We're trying to help you. What kind of help do you need? What can we do to help you?

 

[ceres]

Didn't read all of this, got to the part where someone said "women are the weaker sex" and threw the rest of the thread out the cyber window. By AOG I assume you mean Assemblies of God, I grew up in one of those churches.

JF, I think the fact you started this post shows you are having doubts. We are all built to want sex, but that does not mean it is the right thing to do. Listen to your doubts. Stop talking to this boy altogether, he's no good. Find a better way to use your time, what about a sport? Your name is what it is because at one point you must have cared.... so care now...
you're 15, got a long life ahead of you.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

Honestly, out all of all of the posts, I think you, Ceres, katelyn and loving mother have been the most helpful. Thank you for your heartful, understanding and compassionate posts.
And yeh ceres.. that post made me mad but I never responded to it for fear that I might say something to get me banned. I'm.. really feminist. And posts like those have gotten me in a lot of trouble. LoL.
And come to think of it, I actually believe that my whole feminism stand point really stands in my way. Cause guys sleep with whoever they want. And then I see things like "please your husband" and I get mad. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that I really don't understand the whole marriage thing just cause I love to have control and I'm not one to submit. Bleh.. maybe that's something you all can help me on. But if you do, please avoid the topic of women in the ministry, just because that is a very sensitive topic for me, and really upsets me.. anyway.
I know that I need to amputate this guy out of my life. Problem is, he's in my youth group. And the other problem? I REALLY like him. Plus it's a big pride thing for me. Cause my friends talk to him and stuff. And it'll make me upset.
If you can't tell, I'm incredibly sensitive..

 

[Sunbeam]

It's my godly option to walk away from a discussion when a person wills to do the wrong thing especially as a professed believer.

I'm not at your beck and call for compassion.
You said the magic words..you will to do the wrong thing. "oral sex is okay. I did it before." "I can't stop it" I'm going to do it" You have a few posts that are like that. That is what I read and responded to.

Read Rev.22:11. God tells us to leave people alone if they will to do wrong. I'm not the hypocritical one here, Jesus_Freak_For_Life .

God is only compassionate when people are doing or are trying to do the right thing and he tells us to do the same. If you were having problems dating and it didn't have to do with a salvation-breaking issue, you would have alot of help.

This is a salvation breaking issue though, with a guy that you also claim no relationship with, just sex, and you are trivializing the whole thing.

People have different temperments. If I'm offended by this, and I don't want to talk about it to someone who just indicated in a few posts that they have made up their mind adn that is what I did read in the discussion, then I am allowed to with a clear conscience end the discussion. God does not fault me for this. He tells me to do this in the bible.

So you conclude I have a horrible idea of being Christlike and hypocritical because I choose not to give you attention anymore in this thread? That's the only thing you can conclude at all the posts I have written out? You also accused me of bashing the AoG which was false. This new "hyprocritical and horrible christlike for wanting to walk away" post is mainupation and trying to put false guilt on me and I'm not taking the bait or being provoked into an argument with you.

Or answering your posts anywhere in any thread on the forum to avoid more "horrible christlike hypocrite" words, which is actually flamming.

(not responding any more to my mail on this)

 

[Dawn Marie]

Double standards suck.

Marriage is not just about women submitting to their husbands. I think that the husband and wife should submit to eachother. They should love and honour and cherish... and respect eachother. I don't think either should have more say on anything.

You might find a guy you fall in love with. Wait for him.

 

[msjones21]

The Bible doesn't say for women to submit themselves to their husbands and that's all. Men are calld to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Do you have any clue just how much that is? That's alot of love to strive for! Husbands and wives are to work together in a marriage. When the Bible says to submit to the husband it just means as the spiritual leader. It doesn't mean the husband can say you can never go to the grocery store alone or have friends. There are men, even so-called "Christian" men who abuse that command from God.

 

[mamaneenie]

And come to think of it, I actually believe that my whole feminism stand point really stands in my way. Cause guys sleep with whoever they want.

Yes, SOME guys sleep with whoever they want. That doesn't mean it's right. God doesn't like the fact that ANYONE male/female have sex before marriage.

And then I see things like "please your husband" and I get mad.

In a Christian marriage it goes both ways. The husband needs to love his wife, so then the wife will want to submit. LIke it or not, women have been made by God to submit to the men who love them. I have found in my marriage, that I don't mind pleasing my husband, if he makes it clear how much he loves me. When I think about it, guys have it harder, they are supposed to love as as Christ loves the church. (and lay their lives down for us)



I know that I need to amputate this guy out of my life. Problem is, he's in my youth group.

If he is in your youth group, does he want to sleep with you? Is he a Christian as well? What does he think about sleeping with you?

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

yes- he wants to.. last time we were together we almost did but we didn't have a condom..
and yeh.. he's a christian.. he's even on the worship team at church.. and you know what else is messed up? he's in love with another girl..

 

[LovingMother]

JFFL,

You really do know what you need to do. All you really need is the strength and motivation to do it and that is within you. You just need to ask God for His help to get it done and then do it.

And like some others here have pointed out, when you really fall in love, you will want to give yourself in submission to your husband. It's not about abuse or anything like that. It's about mutual submission "submit yourselves one to another" and, while it may be very difficult to understand or imagine now, you will want to submit to him.

If you really think about it, it is probably what you are doing now. You say you are doing these things because you really like this guy and you want to please him. That is what that submission is all about, but that kind of submission really should be saved for the man you really love and are committed to for life.

 

[mamaneenie]

yes- he wants to.. last time we were together we almost did but we didn't have a condom..
and yeh.. he's a christian.. he's even on the worship team at church.. and you know what else is messed up? he's in love with another girl..

I don't want to come across as trying to tell you what to do. I don't want to make you think that I look down on you either.

Ask yourself, why he wants to sleep with you when he is in love with another girl. If you really like him, he will (most likely) not like you any more just because you sleep with him. I watched a program on Dr. Phil a few months ago which was interviewing teenage boys about what they thought of girls who have sex with them. Even oral sex was talked about. The guys said they do not respect girls who do that, they even referred to them as words I will not write, but I think you get the message.

Not only that, you will lose the guy and your virginity. You will lose your virginity to someone who doesn't love you.

If he values his position on the worship team he should not be sleeping around with girls. That is one thing that is most likely going to get him kicked off the worship team. No matter how hard you try to keep it a secret, people still find out about it.

 

[LovingMother]

Mamaneenie is right, this guy doesn't respect you. If he did, he wouldn't be wanting you to do this while he really likes another girl. As far as he is concerned, you probably aren't much more than an easy score. But we know and you know that you are much more than that, so don't let him disrespect you like that anymroe.

 

[Warrior Poet]

yes- he wants to.. last time we were together we almost did but we didn't have a condom..
and yeh.. he's a christian.. he's even on the worship team at church.. and you know what else is messed up? he's in love with another girl..

Of course he wants to....and thank God for lack of condemns, and for your good sense not to proceed without one. Also whoever said Oral Sex=Sex, is IMO wrong.

i wont say he isnt a christian, i wont say it, i wont.........but this dude needs help, how old is he? Babygirl you need and deserve much better then that flat out. I am not condoning sex and am I huge advocate of sex doesnt=love and vice versa, but at if you are going to at least let it be in the name of love, with someone that means as much to you as you do to him. I still think you should hold out till marriage but if not......please dont give this guy what he wants. He is a top of the class loser, and In love with another girl, homeboy has more issues then you need to even handle.Messed up is an understatement. You are riding on your emotions, on your feelings, Im glad that there are a handful of christian women here that you have taken what they say to heart.....thank you ladies. I cant seem to stay away what you are saying has been heavy on my heart and I am praying for you.........drop dude like a bad habit, quickstyle.

Warrior Poet