Confused

[skipper]

I grew up in a bad way divorce, abuse, sexual abuse, alcholism, a drug using step parent. I went to church every sunday morning, evening and wendsedays they used church as a babysitter. I went to an Assembly of God Church I learned a lot but have always been confused about what I am supposed to do to be a good Christian.

I left the church as soon as I moved out of my moms house as soon as I turned 18 my senior year. I had been forced to go so I rebeled. I married at 21 lucky me my husband is great. I didnt want children for at least 5 years and when we tried it just never happened. We decided to become foster parents about 6 years ago.

My husband thought we should start going back to church at that point we had only been occasional church goers [holidays]
I started to go to an Apostolic Church were the congregation had been there forever and the Pastor tried to call me out like he knew I was the unsaved one in the fold. Everyone knew it was me, so I stopped going there. Then
I started to go to a Brethern Church and found a wonderful Pastor who was helping me figure things out I got saved and Baptised. Things were going well and the Pastor decided to leave I never felt comfortable with the new Pastor so I stopped going. We soon started going to a Church of God I liked the church but it seemed to commercial they were always asking for money and it really dosed my faith. I have so many questions about faith, church, God, Jesus but have no clue were to start.

We have since adopted a little girl who has lots of questions that I cant answer but I dont know how. I believe in God but dont understand why.
I want to help my daughter but cant figure how can I answer her questions when I have so many of my own.

Someone tell me where to start to figure this stuff out before I give up on trying.

 

[Daughter of His]

Hi Skipper !

There are a lot of churches that offer classes to help us on our way to understanding the Bible more, and help us mature in our faith. It's not at all unususal to have to look around a bit before you find a church that meets your needs. You can usually call and get a general idea or make an appointment with the Pastor or Minister and chat with them too.

You can also start reading your Bible a little daily. It doesn't have to be much, maybe just a chapter a day and give yourself time to think on what you have read. Make sure to get a Bible you can understand, I recommend the NIV, it's helped me so much. One more thing, you can ask God to help you find the best church for your family. I pray God will bless all of your efforts.

 

[anunbeliever]

Sounds like you are focusing more on the people in the Churches than on God himself. You believe in God, so many of your answers should be available via prayer and Bible reading. You know about this forum, so i'm sure there are many here who could answer just about any question you wish to ask.

 

[Jody7818]

It sounds like you lack a Biblical education. You can get one by simply studying God's Word. There should be several study guides at a Christian bookstore. I don't have any to recommend, but maybe somebody here or at the bookstore could tell you. Also, there is a good website you may want to consider. It has a large "question and answer" database that answers alot of questions according to God's Word and not man's word. You can also ask a question to someone, and they will reply back with a good Biblical answer. The website is below. Good luck on your journey.

www.biblequestions.org

 

[DIVA_for_Christ]

I grew up in a bad way divorce, abuse, sexual abuse, alcholism, a drug using step parent.

I experienced the same things growing up with the exception of the drug using step parent, but he was an alcholic. God was with you the whole time, He is the one that carried you so that you could make it through. That's why you are still here. The things you survived, others have killed themselves over - always remeber that for you are more than a conqueror.

I went to church every sunday morning, evening and wendsedays they used church as a babysitter. I went to an Assembly of God Church I learned a lot but have always been confused about what I am supposed to do to be a good Christian.

I wasn't raised in the church. I was just told there was God and that was the extent of my knowledge. What I understand now is that we are the church. So it's takes more than simply going to the building we label as a church. We need to develop an intimate relationship with God. There are plenty of people who go to church and have no relationship with God.

I left the church as soon as I moved out of my moms house as soon as I turned 18 my senior year. I had been forced to go so I rebeled. I married at 21 lucky me my husband is great.

It's okay that you left, forgive yourself and understand that God wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to reveal who He is to you. He wants you to know Him as your Father, best friend, comforter, provider, protector, etc. You are not lucky - you are blessed so rejoice!!!

I didnt want children for at least 5 years and when we tried it just never happened. We decided to become foster parents about 6 years ago.

My husband thought we should start going back to church at that point we had only been occasional church goers [holidays]
I started to go to an Apostolic Church were the congregation had been there forever and the Pastor tried to call me out like he knew I was the unsaved one in the fold. Everyone knew it was me, so I stopped going there. ThenI started to go to a Brethern Church and found a wonderful Pastor who was helping me figure things out I got saved and Baptised. Things were going well and the Pastor decided to leave I never felt comfortable with the new Pastor so I stopped going. We soon started going to a Church of God I liked the church but it seemed to commercial they were always asking for money and it really dosed my faith. I have so many questions about faith, church, God, Jesus but have no clue were to start.

The void that is deep within you can only be filled and healed by God. People whether they are Christian or not will always disappoint you, but God never will. Don't get caught up relying on people as the only source for you getting an understanding. God will put His people in your life to nuture your growth in Him, but He is the source, not them. When we place our focus and dependence on man and not God we get disappointed and hurt. Also understand, everyone in the church is not of God. Just like there are good and bad people outside of the "church", there are good and bad people in the "church", because remember we are the church. None of us is perfect. So don't allow your disappointments with people shatter your faith.

We have since adopted a little girl who has lots of questions that I cant answer but I dont know how. I believe in God but dont understand why.

Continue to seek Him and pray to Him and He will reveal Himself to you more and more. He will instruct you on how to raise your little girl.

I want to help my daughter but cant figure how can I answer her questions when I have so many of my own.

Don't try to figure it out - let God show you. When she has a question and you don't know the answer, be honest with her. Start a prayer journal with your daughter, write the question(s) down and the both of you pray together asking God to reveal the answer to you. Remain open in your heart and mind and you will be able to realize when God answers. When He answers, write down the anwer and every time you start feeling down and think God isn't hearing you, read over your journal for the encouragment to see - He always answers us.

Someone tell me where to start to figure this stuff out before I give up on trying.

No matter what - DON'T GIVE UP. Let go and let God.

Also, your little girl is watching you, if she sees you giving up, that will be a trait that she will learn.

God Bless!!! Be Encouraged and Stay Encouraged!!!!

 

[heron]

Using church as a babysitter...I've heard people admit that and laugh it off! Putting you in the building didn't give you a better relationship with God, or respect for His ways.

People at church now might hold onto their memories of your family, your reactions to this neglect and abuse, or might link you in with abuse. Man has condemned you and made you feel undeserving, but God puts you on an even plane with all of us sinners that He has redeemed and called His children. Our past is not held against us if we accept His forgiveness.

Jesus can heal the damage that has restricted your life year after year. He can pull you out of this never-good-enough mode, and consider you his apostle, his teacher, his counselor--fully respected with a purpose in His kingdom. He has given his believers authority to do many exciting things.

We will pray with you to find a congregation that supports you and brings deeper understanding of God into your life!

There's a download for in-depth Bible study at http://www.e-sword.net/ with gobs of free resources at http://www.e-sword.net/usermods/
although probably something like the link above will be less overwhelming, and fit into your time limitations better.

If you have some spiritual issues to sort through in your own mind, like things that seemed off balance at certain churches, there's a set of leading questions at http://www.josiahnews.com/faith/topics.htm with Bible verses to shed light on the subject.

And yes, keep talking with us here at CF!

 

[brotherjim]

. . . We have since adopted a little girl who has lots of questions that I cant answer but I dont know how. I believe in God but dont understand why.
I want to help my daughter but cant figure how can I answer her questions when I have so many of my own.

Someone tell me where to start to figure this stuff out before I give up on trying.

Hi Skipper.

First, we must always remember that the internet is not the most reliable source for information. It will most always be a mixture of truth and error.

Denominations, too, are not the most reliable source. Each of course has their own take on things, and yet each believes they have the truth and the others not, so obviously there's a lot of error there as well, mixed in with some truth.

Like you, Skipper, my background is a mixture of charismatic like "your" AoG, Anabaptist like your brethren, pentecostal holiness like your CoG---as well as, for me, "Wesleyan," fundamentalist, Evangelical, and whatever other I cannot now recall. Each had something profitable to offer, and which I inc. into my waklk, and each had some garbage that the Holy Ghost had to regurgitate out of me.

I, too, was brought up by Christian parents, and rebelled. I was 26 when the Lord finally grabbed me from self-destruction. But there were a couple of attempts along the way, once when I was 10 and again as a teen. We must not think of our Christian life as a one time big event (such as the New Birth or HG "Baptism" (charis.) or entire sanctification (Wesley); but rather one intended by God to be a series of mountain-top experiences perpetuated by Him until the time we leave this present evil world.

One disadvantage of being children of Christians, is that we attempt to piggy-back (hyph.??) of of their spiritual experiences, most often becoming either rebellious like you or me, or what I term "Pharisee children," i.e., attempting through worksd of our flesh, to feign and duplicate that which our parent(s) experienced with God. But each of us cannot inherit from our parents, other than--- Well, that is too in-depth here. Suffice it to say that just as all children must make it on their own materially, if they are to be real people, we also all must make it on our own with God---as you likely know.

Insofar as your little girl, while I've written a couple tracts that expalin it in greater detail, simply explaining to a child that this is not the world God had in mind, and He is in the process of creating a New World ruled by Love and Peace, is a good start. Then, since not all people can live in this New World, since many simply do not want to Love God with all parts of them they have control over (the 1st & Great Commandment), neither do they want to Love all people in an unconditional, charitable (only giving) Way, God has to sort them out in this world so that only the obedient ones are able to enter the New World. And since people cannot, by themselves, do what is needed to Love this Way, they need God's help, His Graces, His miracles that Christ Jesus, His Son, made available when He came and paid the price . . .

Then it may require a brief explanation of how blood sacrifice evolved through history, and the concept of it paying (atoning) for the evil things people do (even the King Kong movie illustrates this).

God bless you in your journey and quest for Truth, Skipper, brother jim (e-mail on file in my bio.)

 

[heron]

It's wonderful that you are hoping to bring your daughter into a better understanding of God. How old is she? Some children find things out very quickly on their own, so don't be afraid to admit things you're not sure of. You can say, "let's look that up." There's a precious connection when your child is part of your discovery process.

 

[Scholar in training]

Hi, Skipper!

I'm sorry to hear about the rough time that you've had, but I'm glad that you're interested in learning more about God. If you have some extra money, a study Bible might be helpful, since they provide a little background commentary on each book and on many verses in each book.

I have found that tektonics.org is also a good resource for research, but it's less organized than a study Bible would be. I would recommend checking out both options and see which (if either of these) is best for you.

 

[Johnnz]

See what else is there church wise. The spiritual well being and destiny of a young child is way too important not to seek out something really satisfactory for you and her.

John
NZ

 

[skipper]

thank everyone my daughter and I are going to do her bible study from her homeschool cirriculm together this year its on DVD and it looks pretty neat, Iam trying to remain hopeful put please keep me in your prayers.

 

[give2live]

Hi skipper...
Have you ever read 'Journey of Desire' by John Eldridge? I think it would answer alot of your questions. It's been a huge source of inspiration for me ever since I started wondering what life (God) is really all about. Take care...

BTW - Diva... Right on!

 

[heron]

DVD study--that sounds fun. I wish we had those when I was young and memorizing Luther's catechism!

 

[Windmill]

I grew up in a bad way divorce, abuse, sexual abuse, alcholism, a drug using step parent. I went to church every sunday morning, evening and wendsedays they used church as a babysitter. I went to an Assembly of God Church I learned a lot but have always been confused about what I am supposed to do to be a good Christian.

I left the church as soon as I moved out of my moms house as soon as I turned 18 my senior year. I had been forced to go so I rebeled. I married at 21 lucky me my husband is great. I didnt want children for at least 5 years and when we tried it just never happened. We decided to become foster parents about 6 years ago.

My husband thought we should start going back to church at that point we had only been occasional church goers [holidays]
I started to go to an Apostolic Church were the congregation had been there forever and the Pastor tried to call me out like he knew I was the unsaved one in the fold. Everyone knew it was me, so I stopped going there. Then
I started to go to a Brethern Church and found a wonderful Pastor who was helping me figure things out I got saved and Baptised. Things were going well and the Pastor decided to leave I never felt comfortable with the new Pastor so I stopped going. We soon started going to a Church of God I liked the church but it seemed to commercial they were always asking for money and it really dosed my faith. I have so many questions about faith, church, God, Jesus but have no clue were to start.

We have since adopted a little girl who has lots of questions that I cant answer but I dont know how. I believe in God but dont understand why.
I want to help my daughter but cant figure how can I answer her questions when I have so many of my own.

Someone tell me where to start to figure this stuff out before I give up on trying.

The place to start is.... the bible, of course! Have you ever looked into your own beliefs... or have you just taken what others have told you blindly, and chosen to believe it?

The bible has answers. Get online, take some lessons in it, talk with people etc. I have questions, I only figure out the answers by finding the answers. The bible has them, but if you do not know your way around the bible off by heart like most don't, seek help

EDIT: Oh wait, I see you're doing so, thats great!

Also, remember, the church = meh. Just because a church may not be that great, doesn't mean the denomination as a whole isn't that great! For me, the denomination as a whole is a backbone to my faith, not the specific church I attend. Whats mainly the backbone is my personal experience. But yeah, remember not to judge a denomination by a church

 

[GreenPartyVoter]

Skipper,

It is wonderful to find a church where you feel you "fit in". However there are benefits to going to churches where you stick out a bit too. I do that because my husband is a conservative and I am a liberal and we go to the church of his choice.

In going there God has taught me: tolerance, patience, love for people who are different from myself, trust. That last one is very important because I was picked on a lot all through my youth. I have a chip on my shoulder about being called out for my liberalism, esp since my hubby has issues with it.

However, the church we attend is full of people who love me. At worst they will nudge me and joke that it's good that I am there to learn the right stuff, to which I feel comfortable enough to tell them I am glad to be there to tell them the right stuff too.

So, I say figure out what you believe. Then figure out what you want in a church as far as worship style, compassionate miinistries, child programs and such. As you sort that information out you will be able to narrow down the list a bit.

I have some belief quizzes on my website that might be worth looking at in terms of helping you to think of questions to ask yourself. (The results from the tests can be a bit funny, but that is all right. It is still a good starting point. You can research the denominations after that, then see if there are any churches from those denoms in your area.)

I wish you much luck and hope and pray that God directs you to where you and He need you to be in a loud clear voice.

 

[heron]

A church doesn't stay healthy unless each individual is able to use their gifts and contribute their strengths. If you feel this strong contrast, I'd guess they need you to balance them out!


About liberal, or democratic, or green viewpoints:

values, observations, thoughtful compromises, negotiations, and policies

seem to get lumped together these days into mass political stances.

 

[dodad91]

Skipper,

I believe that brotherjim made a very good point when it comes to the internet. This cyber world is filled with very good information, but it's also filled with deceptive information. Without relying on the Spirit to discern those things that are profitable for our soul, versus those things that can damn our soul, we will find ourselves even more confused than when we began our search for understanding the truth.

Too much change without understanding is can be damaging for us. What I mean is that sometime we seek change without fully knowing why we're changing. For example, we can sense sometihng is hurting us when it makes us uncomfortable. But before we fully understand why it makes us uncomfortable we change. It could be that we might be under conviction by the Holy Spirit, but before we understand this we make a change.

So how do we gain this understanding, by reliance upon the Spirit of God for us to study His Word.

II TIMOTHY 2:15. Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to by ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth.

When we seek God EARNESTLY He will reveal Himself to us. Don't rely on head knowledge...but heart knowledge. We'll be praying for you and your daughter.

 

[-Frank-]

Start with the Bible.

Read it every day, pray over what you read, study it, meditate on it. It is God's word. Without this bread, you will die of starvation.

 

[VCman]

call me a history geek or whatever, but I have a fascination with the past. I always want to look back to the roots of things because it gives me a chance to see what the end result should be like, not what it currently is. I know some of those churches you talked about...I've been to my fair share of churches like that. I encourage you to look back to the beginnings of the Christian Church. Reading the writings of the Church fathers is so encouraging. Let me just give you an example of an inspirational quote, this particular one from John Chrysostom. This guy knows what true persecution is...living through the Roman persecution period. This quote is on interpretting God's divine will and passing judgement on current situations. I know I deal with this, questioning why God does this, but this quote reminds me I really dont know what God is working, and to have faith in Him because he wont let me down. I am the observer and ocean dweller, He is the farmer and artisan.

"If people uninformed about the purification of metals should observe a goldsmith at work, would they not think the artisan was destorying his gold by mixing it with ashes and chaff? If someone born and raised on the ocean were suddenly transported to land and saw a farmer cultivating his land, casting his seed into the muddy earth, wouldnt he think the wheat was soon to be destroyed? Wouldnt he pass judgement on the farmer for treating it in this way?"

hopefully this helps in some way. God bless.

-VC

 

[rocklife]

Most little kids can really talk and ask about stuff, but they aren't mature enough to grasp the answer. Some kids talk and talk, but ask them what some of the stuff they say means, they dont' even know. So, try to be wise about not telling them something they can't really handle yet anyway, sometimes they will just have to learn later. Personally, I pray for God to answer all their questions that I can't. I silently pray when I can't answer, sometimes, my son will answer his own question. Other times, I get out the dictionary or tell him, let's look what the internet says, and look it in up. Sometimes I look up in the dictionary for my son, and of course he still doesn't understand, but really the main principle is to learn to dig for answers, research is half the battle.

I also recommend get some bible tapes, bible cartoons, bible books. There is Cherub Wings, and Beginner's Bible, these are really good for my family, and there are bible on tapes, also bible movies. You can find some really great ones at Vision Video (request a free catalog online). The 2 cartoons I mention are my favorite, and a good starting point for kids.

The bible says seek, you will find. Start digging around the bible, prayerfully, if you are persistent, it will start to make sense to you.