Compatability Question?

[Stanfi]

A question for all of you married folks. Do you feel that someone who is a Protestant and someone who is Catholic could be married, and have a succesful marriage. Assuming that they are 100% compatiable in all other areas.

Thanks.

 

[DaveKerwin]

All things are permissible, but not all things are benefitial.

I see major theological differences are a big problem. One wants to baptize the infant, the other spouse wants to let the child make the choice later in life. One spouse wants to go to a contemporary exciting service with tongues and the like, and the other wants a more reverant approach to God with traditionalism. And so on, and so on. I would not advise that two people like this get married until they discuss a TON of issues that it brings up. The issue of where to attend a worship service is a monster in and of itself. Now if the people involved are not that much into theology, or even that decicated to the church body they are a part of, I suppose they could make it work. But like I said, it would take a lot of discussing and a lot of compromising.

 

[Christi]

Absolutely. Keep Christ in common. Respect and love each other. I think our differences tend to strengthen us, when it's all said and done. In marriage, there are many of those anyway.

 

[seebs]

One of my best friends is in a Protestant/Catholic marriage. She's Catholic, he's Protestant. They do okay. It's not always easy, but it works. He's considered conversion very seriously, but he's just not convinced. I think this is the right thing; better to be honest than dishonest.

 

[Mrs K 2004]

It wouldn't be easy; but then again nothing ever is!

Keep Christ as your centerpoint; and pray together alot! My family is of mixed denominations; although not catholic... and we had some struggles growing up (like which church us kids would go to!) but my parents stuck to it; and worked wonderfully! They just celebrated 25 years last month!

 

[SirKenin]

mrstace.. The Bible talks about not being unequally yoked to unbelievers in 2 Corinthians 6:14. The analogy comes from Deuteronomy 22:9, which forbade the yoking together of two different types of animals.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

I know Catholics that are born again Christians (and those that aren't). They just prefer the ceremonial routines of the Catholic church.

You would have to find out if she is a born again Christian or not. That's what matters as far as I can see. Paul is saying that Christians have no fellowship with those among the Christians that reject the true faith, according to Thayer's Lexicon. Strongs says the word for unbelievers, apistos (571), means unbelieving, incredulous, without trust in God.

The idea in 2 Corinthians is two fold:

1) Satan will walk amongst the unbelievers, so you will be associating with Satan. God and Satan can not walk hand in hand.

2) You should be in the world, but not of the world.

So, to me the answer is pretty clear.

Is this lady a born again Christian? Are you a born again Christian? Do you both believe in and serve God? If the answer to this is yes, then I can see no reason why you can't wed and have a successful marriage. It will just be a life of compromise and fun deciding what church to go to on Sunday.

 

[Flipper]

My mom is Catholic and my dad is Agnostic. They are still married and happy - 35 years.

 

[desi]

The only thing required for a successful marriage is for neither party to give up.

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

LOL. I was raised Catholic, became a saved Christian and married and Italian Jew who believes in the miracle of Jesus because of me. A mountain can be made out of the smallest differences, make Jseus the center and don't worry about all the relatives who want to use religion as a tool for separation, segregation and control.

 

[Stanfi]

Actually guys, I wasn't talking about me, but about a person I know. I has some concern about this because I was afraid the differences in belief would hinder them being edified. It would seem hard to me to grow together in Christ if you don't believe exactly the same. I know I had a cousin who is Methodist, and married a Baptist, and they had enough issues to work through. I don't the Catholic has accepted Christ as saviour.

I had heard they were going to counseling to work out their different beliefs. To me that would seem like compromising Christ. Allwoing someone else to tell you, what to believe instead of listening to God.

It seems to me that when we are in a dating relationship. We will do or say anything to keep it going. Then if we make it to marriage, that is when the rubber hits the road, and we see each others true colors.

Excuse my ignorance, just trying to learn here.

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

Again, that is the problem with organized religion from my standpoint. Too many must haves getting in the way of the message and complicating. Too many ways for mind control and judging. If it works for you then that's fine. If you find yourself mentally "categorizing" others as a result, that's where the danger comes in. Is this couple consulting with you or asking for your advice? I'd say it is for them to work out unless that is the case. My advice? If they are in counseling over it then they and their families may to too tightly wound up in organized religion. They may never make it out of the dark over it if that is such the case. I think of it as a boat. The faster one skims ver the surface and the slower one gets bogged down because the hull is below the water. The faster one is what they need. Depending on your mind-set, this could be an impossibility. I have a relative who subliminaly must test his faith constantly by pinning loved ones against himself in the name of organized religion. Do you know what I mean? Watch out for these people. They are always looking for a human sacrafice. Not to say this is the case and sorry for rambling on. But that's kind of the scenario I hope your friends don't end up in here. I mean using their religion to justify breaking up as if they think it may be a test of faith when there's no need for that. They could end up having a wonderful God Blessed life together if they don't get too bogged down in all the man made details in religion!

 

[Bookman]

The short answer is that if they're just Protestant and Catholic because that's the way they were raised and their faith isn't really important to them, then it may work.

But if either one is devout, it won't work.

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[Koop]

Spok, I'm with you 100% on the organised religion thing. I don't think it's all about the organised religion tho. I think it has a lot to do with personal beliefs and values. I think it could certainly work if they were willing to MAKE it work, but i don't know why they would want it. They could not share in so many things. They could still worship together and pray together, but so many things could not be shared. I don't think there is anything wrong with it really, but again from just knowing myself, the fact that a catholic has such views that completely contradict my faith is a turn off that make me just uninterested.

 

[Stanfi]

Thank you Bookman. I like the words that you have spoken, for I do believe they are true.

 

[seebs]

Actually guys, I wasn't talking about me, but about a person I know. I has some concern about this because I was afraid the differences in belief would hinder them being edified. It would seem hard to me to grow together in Christ if you don't believe exactly the same.

It would seem hard to me to grow in Christ near people who agree with me; what could I possibly learn from them?

I know I had a cousin who is Methodist, and married a Baptist, and they had enough issues to work through. I don't the Catholic has accepted Christ as saviour.

Then s/he's not a real Catholic, because the Church's teachings on the issue are pretty unambiguous.

I had heard they were going to counseling to work out their different beliefs. To me that would seem like compromising Christ. Allwoing someone else to tell you, what to believe instead of listening to God.

I think you've misunderstood that. It seems to me that they're taking a step that most people never do, and starting to think seriously about what they believe, instead of just assuming that "yeah, whatever that guy says on Sunday goes for me too". That seems likely to lead them towards stronger faith.

Any time you go to church and a guy talks for a while and you nod your head in agreement, you're allowing someone else to tell you what to believe, to some extent.

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

"It would seem hard to me to grow in Christ near people who agree with me; what could I possibly learn from them?"

This is my experience too. I get tired of the "philosophical/intellectual" minded that never seem to get out of the "questioning" hole at times. I must admit sometimes it is nice to be around believers. However, I don't need to surround myself around people who believe exactly the same as me to keep my faith.

"Any time you go to church and a guy talks for a while and you nod your head in agreement, you're allowing someone else to tell you what to believe, to some extent."

This is true although you hope they are filled with the holy spirit. I remember taking my wife to my brother's Christian-non denominational mass and the preacher was literally telling everyone to FLEE! FLEE!! from anyone with a different faith than you. What non-sense. If that we the case, my wife never would be saved.

 

[E-beth]

*MOD HAT ON!

Please refrain from making anti-Catholic statements on this thread. The topic is not asking anyone to give their opinion of the Catholic Church. Instead, keep the topic to "can a Protestant and a Catholic have a successful marriage."

*MOD HAT OFF

 

[Bookman]

Thank you Bookman. I like the words that you have spoken, for I do believe they are true.

Thanks, but apparently E-beth disagrees. My comments were apparently taken to be anti-Catholic, when my point was to point out that there are severe differences in doctrine between a Prostestant and Catholic. I could just as easily cited the doctrine differences in Protestantism that would be unacceptable to Catholics.

Lighten up, mods. No offense was intended. But in answering a question like this, it's important to understand what exactly is being compromised by EITHER party...not just the Catholic and not just the Protestant.

 

[Stanfi]

Thanks, but apparently E-beth disagrees. My comments were apparently taken to be anti-Catholic, when my point was to point out that there are severe differences in doctrine between a Prostestant and Catholic. I could just as easily cited the doctrine differences in Protestantism that would be unacceptable to Catholics.

Lighten up, mods. No offense was intended. But in answering a question like this, it's important to understand what exactly is being compromised by EITHER party...not just the Catholic and not just the Protestant.

... and that is exactly how I took your statment. Like I had mentioned, I have know a Methodist who married a Baptist. They had some major things to work through, and they still can have a good argument yet today. The teachings they were rooted in are just different. And those roots are their foundation.

 

[seebs]

Lighten up, mods. No offense was intended. But in answering a question like this, it's important to understand what exactly is being compromised by EITHER party...not just the Catholic and not just the Protestant.

Understanding this, I think, would have to start with an accurate description of the beliefs of both parties; as a non-Catholic, I found your description of the Catholic faith to be false, and offensively so.

I believe it would be very useful to learn more about what Catholics do and don't believe, or do. I have learned a lot about Catholics since I got here, and I'm very unlikely to ever convert, but I find that most of the descriptions I hear from non-Catholics are false.