comparing.

[drifter5]

I find it really difficult not to compare myself with others in an unfavourable light. I also seem to put myself down almost constantly. I find it very hard to think positively. I have Asperger's Syndrome. I find it hard to accept myself as i am. Has anyone any helpful advice please ? I became a Christian 1 month ago, and i really want to live for The Lord, and to be the person that He wants me to be. Thank you so much dear sisters and brothers in Christ.

 

[uniquetadpole]

hi drifter... I am sorry I haven't been around too much. I would think that it is because you have not had too many people accept you as you are and probably not had alot of compassion for understanding you over the years...so you have picked up on those negative ways. It is hard to break away from a habit like that... and that in a sense is what it is... but it is possible...and that is where to begin... believing that there is a possiblitiy to perhaps maybe do something different and make a change...that is like having faith as small as a mustard seed.

What I work at doing is finding small ways to affirm myself and my capabilities. SOme people do better with words others touch and people like me do well with pictures... so I am working with my T to make picture affirmation cards. I connect to animals better than I do with people and words... so my picture cards are going to have a picture of an animal...and I will have at least one affirmation on the back that that picture might represent to me. I have to make one for my next visit...then each visit I will make one more... that way I can build myself a deck of animal affirmation cards... one baby step at a time.

SO what I suggest you consider doing...is finding something you connect with. Something that give you a good feeling... it might be music... a song from Mary Poppins or something LOL... a picture you relate to...could be out of a magazine...an old photo... or something you draw or paint... find something that just creates a good feeling inside. and then go with it... and if you have trouble figuring out what to do with it...tell us what it might be and maybe we can help you come up with ideas of how to take the next step.

Because when we take the time and nurture ourselves and we feel good...that will open the flood gates of being able to truely share Christ's Spirit with others. That something that you find and opens that channel inside of you... that is a form of prayer...cuz what is prayer...but communicating with God... and what better way to communicate with God than with a smiling heart.

Tad

 

[drifter5]

Yes i agree with your posts. Thank you so much for replying. I just do not think that i have anything positive to contribute , or any gifts that i am aware of. Yes i am good with children and animals ,too ,Tad dear. I used to work as a nanny for 7 years and i enjoyed that. I am praying that God will guide me to the type of work that He wants me to do next. I do not drive , i am overweight and i have a prolapse-( collapsed pelvic floor- caused by muscle weakness after an operation). I am a mother now. With my A.S diagnosis, as well, i feel that my confidence is at rock bottom. In the world's eyes i would be seen as a failure in so many ways.

 

[drifter5]

Hi. I have been in the same shoes for about 2 years now since i got dignosed with AS. Having trouble accepting myself for who i am and hate the condition i have. Do you have a particular intrest? Im obessed with sci fi fantasy and RPG Video games. And thriller/non satanic horror movies. Is there anything you do in your spare time to chill out? if you do which i hope you do you may have a talent that you have not noticed. When i found out i had AS at that time i had no confidence couldent make friends and suffered depression and anxeity attacks. Now jesus has helped me to overcome the side effects of my medication and given me confidence to talk to people to make friends and go out more to the cinema (for eg) more idenpendently. Helps that i now go to a special needs school. Its time that you learn about yourself and know who you really are and what you are capable of. Hope this helps...God bless

Thanks Jed. I hope that you had a lovely birthday. Thank you for your helpful post.

 

[drifter5]

Hi. I have been in the same shoes for about 2 years now since i got dignosed with AS. Having trouble accepting myself for who i am and hate the condition i have. Do you have a particular intrest? Im obessed with sci fi fantasy and RPG Video games. And thriller/non satanic horror movies. Is there anything you do in your spare time to chill out? if you do which i hope you do you may have a talent that you have not noticed. When i found out i had AS at that time i had no confidence couldent make friends and suffered depression and anxeity attacks. Now jesus has helped me to overcome the side effects of my medication and given me confidence to talk to people to make friends and go out more to the cinema (for eg) more idenpendently. Helps that i now go to a special needs school. Its time that you learn about yourself and know who you really are and what you are capable of. Hope this helps...God bless

Thanks .

 

[drifter5]

hi drifter... I am sorry I haven't been around too much. I would think that it is because you have not had too many people accept you as you are and probably not had alot of compassion for understanding you over the years...so you have picked up on those negative ways. It is hard to break away from a habit like that... and that in a sense is what it is... but it is possible...and that is where to begin... believing that there is a possiblitiy to perhaps maybe do something different and make a change...that is like having faith as small as a mustard seed.

What I work at doing is finding small ways to affirm myself and my capabilities. SOme people do better with words others touch and people like me do well with pictures... so I am working with my T to make picture affirmation cards. I connect to animals better than I do with people and words... so my picture cards are going to have a picture of an animal...and I will have at least one affirmation on the back that that picture might represent to me. I have to make one for my next visit...then each visit I will make one more... that way I can build myself a deck of animal affirmation cards... one baby step at a time.

SO what I suggest you consider doing...is finding something you connect with. Something that give you a good feeling... it might be music... a song from Mary Poppins or something LOL... a picture you relate to...could be out of a magazine...an old photo... or something you draw or paint... find something that just creates a good feeling inside. and then go with it... and if you have trouble figuring out what to do with it...tell us what it might be and maybe we can help you come up with ideas of how to take the next step.

Because when we take the time and nurture ourselves and we feel good...that will open the flood gates of being able to truely share Christ's Spirit with others. That something that you find and opens that channel inside of you... that is a form of prayer...cuz what is prayer...but communicating with God... and what better way to communicate with God than with a smiling heart.

Tad

Thanks Tad for your helpful advice.

 

[drifter5]

I had a wonderful birthday thank you. Hope you will feel better about yourself soon. Ill be sticking around in theese forums quite a bit now so if you have any worrys or anything you need to ask ill be delighted to help. Take care
God bless

You are so kind . Thank you . I too find these forums to be such a blessing. PRAISE THE LORD!

 

[uniquetadpole]

well one thing to say for being at rock bottom... is you have no place left to go but up... and it isn't the world's eyes we need to look at things through... let God show you how to see with your own eyes. Like I said start small.

You love animals...does seeing apicture of one particluar animal stir something in you? If so which one(s).

And lets start there...

Tad

 

[drifter5]

Thanks Tad. Well, i love cats. i am unsure of how looking at cats will help my confidence though ? Would it not be best to write Bible Verses down and put these on the fridge, etc, instead ? Thank you for your help dear.

 

[uniquetadpole]

Thanks Tad. Well, i love cats. i am unsure of how looking at cats will help my confidence though ? Would it not be best to write Bible Verses down and put these on the fridge, etc, instead ? Thank you for your help dear.

It isn't about just looking at cats to build your confidence... it is about using the good feelings that are already there when you see a cat to enhance the words. I am working on helping you in stages okay? The next step would be to...depending on your choice of media... collect pictures of Cats... whether it be out of magazines... or online cliparts... drawing them...photos of them...etc.

Once you have a good number of them together... see if you can take one or more affirmations and match it to the picture. .. like this...

I walk with God in everythiing I do, for me.
​

You can do this by pasting magazine pics to index cards, or fancy them up on the compurter and print them out and paste them to index cards... take the cards and put them in places you see everyday...your purse/backpack, the refridgerator, bathrrom mirror, on top of your clean clothes in the morining...whatever will help you remember to take a quick look at them... don't make them long winded...just quick things...you can use bible verses too... whatever will work for you.. You could even create a picture quotes journal... something you look through everyday.

After a while you can expand your pics if you feel you need to... don't just include domestic cats...use wild ones perhaps... and any other animals.

I hope this begins to make more sense now... and that it may help.

Thanks for giving me the chance to explain my idea.

Tad

PS this is what I am beginning to work on...because just reading the words to myself in a bathroom mirror wasn't doing the trick... it just got me more upset and frustrated because it wasn't working... so I adapted something that would make me feel good if even for a brief moment. I use frogs... surprised... but I am going to use more than frogs once I get them going.