Communal vs Independent Living

[James_Lai]

You must be willing to take the hit for the greater good. The child doesn’t absorb it. You do and you explain how the absence is beneficial to the familial ethos. You begin using this verbiage by one-and-a-half and convey your preferences through mutual recognition and familial pride.

Thus, “I don’t like or don’t do this” is articulated as we don’t behave that way. There will be moments when the singular is necessary. But it should harken back to the source. By the time they’re five they can go anywhere with minimal upset.

How does that apply to gymnastics? My daughter began at 18 months in a tot tumbling class and was working with Dianne Durham by 3 1/2. She suggested she try out for the city all-around team. It provided visibility and competitive exposure. We agreed.

When I went to the gym I was uncomfortable. They were located at the rear of the facility. Way in the back with no parents present. There were two male instructors and 8-10 kids. Lots of twists and turns to find it. The training schedule was 4 days per week. They were Romanian and very firm.

Two thoughts crossed my mind as we left. The inevitable cessation of childhood due to the regimen and the impact parental absence has on their influence. Flash forward to the USA gymnastics sex abuse scandal. Few realize how much power coaches wield. They mold their body and mind. That’s the voice in their head. Not yours.

We discussed it and I told her we’d find a different sport that allowed her to enjoy her childhood and participate. I pulled her out and enrolled her in golf and tennis. There was no argument. She’s never regretted it.



Most Fortune 500 companies start that way. Few are bootstrapped.

I’ve seen it firsthand in my journey, my daughter’s, and through friends who are self-employed. Ease is the linchpin. When you’re spouseless, childless, debt free, and unencumbered the sky is the limit. Especially when you have help. It’s a different ballgame.

~bella

Wow you open a different level of parenting thought process for me. Deeper and smarter I’d say than the logic or instincts I use. As I personally had almost zero parenting - books and the street were my parent, survival was my teacher. It hurts a lot, then you come out scarred but strong. I don’t wish it on my kids though. My parents loved us dearly nevertheless… It’s just life put them in such predicament - they did tge best they could with what they had.

The gymnastics we attended was in a Uni kinesiology dept so the coaches were young ladies students? There was one man head coach I guess but he mostly oversaw it. We were present and with the youngest had to help in each of the exercises. So didn’t reach more older stages pulled out after 1.5years… So you make me feel good!

But I was talking of general principle. Hard choices. We cant predict actual outcomes…Weight of responsibility. Even if the path would be hard full of thorns but maybe it’s their path??

Yes the starting platform for a business and no burdens. But then there are cases like Ford? who started from selling papers as a boy? Or who was it. And worked his way up and up and up. Maybe the right place and the right time can also be key.

 

[Martinius]

So it did enter the public sphere to some degree, not sure if it’s in any way meaningful or purely formalistic, and so maybe Jews didn’t mind… Unless they were very Orthodox

But that was when I was a child. When my kids were in a public school the "winter concert" included secular songs of the season and several Jewish holiday songs. No Christmas songs. A complete reversal. I didn't like how it was done when I was in elementary school, and I didn't like how it was done thirty years later. I would prefer a middle ground where we recognize all faiths and traditions, or as many as possible.

 

[James_Lai]

But that was when I was a child. When my kids were in a public school the "winter concert" included secular songs of the season and several Jewish holiday songs. No Christmas songs. A complete reversal. I didn't like how it was done when I was in elementary school, and I didn't like how it was done thirty years later. I would prefer a middle ground where we recognize all faiths and traditions, or as many as possible.

Yes, it sounds like a farce. Trying to please everybody. Doesn’t seem to work so well. When there’s no single culture it becomes difficult

 

[Taodeching]

Yes, it sounds like a farce. Trying to please everybody. Doesn’t seem to work so well. When there’s no single culture it becomes difficult

I watched about Amish and Hasidic Jewish communities both have a single culture and are thriving now. In both they felt sorry for the world because of the stress, hate, and anxiety. If I was able to I would join the Amish and leave the world.