Coming Out With My Problem

[jesusxchick]

So I haven't been here very long, a few months, and I'm really trying to get my relationship together with God and my life pleasing to God.

I've been struggling a lot with self-gratification and fantasies. I never realized until the other day just how serious it was. I don't what it was, but something just snapped in me and made me realize that this isn't good and it just keeps happening over and over again.

I know that this has a lot to do with things of the past. When I was a teenager I would make out with different guys all the time. Looking for it to fill me, to find importance, anything that wouldn't make me feel empty. I haven't figured out if my sexual abuse as a child has anything to do with this.

After just realizing the other day that this was very serious, I came here immediately looking for something to take action with and I found the Setting Captives Free Course and I'm starting that now. I'm very serious about stopping this and drinking from the living water that Jesus offers.

I've never told anyone before anything that I've put here. Not about making out with guys or the self-gratification problem. The only time I've ever let it be known is through this course and I just had to put it somewhere. It didn't matter where. It's such a huge burden to keep that a secret and keep it hidden from others when it's tearing you apart. This forum is so understanding and supportive that I knew I could say something here about it. I plan on telling someone in real life too though. I plan on telling a mature Christian lady at my church who God has pointed me towards. I'm a little nervous, I won't lie, but I know that God will give me strength.

Up until this time I really thought that everything was okay, but it's not. I'm not doing what I should be doing in following God and to be honest, even though I know I've been on the wrong path, I'm glad it's come up so that I can get on the right path and not find fulfillment from things that aren't of God.

I feel better to get all of this off of my chest and just talk to others who understand what I'm going through and I'm going to keep working through all 60 days in the Setting Captives Free Course. I'm going to find fulfillment in God's word and only get my fulfillment from there.

I praise the Lord for encouragement like this course offers because I've just felt like giving up and not even trying because I couldn't get away from this, but now I know there is a way and that it can work because through God all things are possible. You just have to know the right direction. I praise God also for others encourage and understanding on this situation. I praise God for finding this forum and for being able to look here for a way to take action and learn on how to find true fulfillment. I praise God for all that I'm learning now on how to get away from this and to find true fulfillment from the word of God, the living water that Jesus offers.

Thank you for just reading this and God Bless.

 

[Sketcher]

Well, even if you hadn't gone through any of that stuff in the past it probably would have happened one way or another. It's a chronic problem with me and I never did or was subjected to any of that. So dwelling on the past is useless.

Good luck with SCF, I hope they actually treat you in a loving manner and you find it helpful. Their track record for that is not perfect.

 

[tapero]

Hi, I don't know what SCF is but www.settingcaptivesfree.com is supposed to be a very helpful place.

God bless you,
Tapero

 

[Sketcher]

Hi, I don't know what SCF is but www.settingcaptivesfree.com is supposed to be a very helpful place.

God bless you,
Tapero

SCF is an abbreviation for Setting Captives Free.

 

[tapero]

Oh...

 

[jesusxchick]

Thank you twistedsketch.

I know my past doesn't have to play a role, but you never know really how things work out. Dwelling on the past isn't good and I don't, but our past is our past and there's nothing we can do about it.

So far things are going well at SCF. My mentor is helpful and the lessons are helpful.


And thank you tapero.

 

[UnitynLove]

I will pray for you.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[BelindaP]

Your history of sexual abuse could easily have left you more prone to the problems that you are facing right now. When you are abused as a child, your sense of self-worth gets wrapped up in sex and your view of normal sexuality becomes warped and twisted. Many victims end up living a promiscuous lifestyle to try to numb the pain.

I expect that you may have to face some of your issues head-on as you try to tackle your addictions. I would strongly suggest that you put a support system in place including a counselor and mature Christians with whom you can share.

I think that it's wonderful that you are drawing closer to God. He will certainly reward you with some of the peace that you so strongly desire. It may be a bumpy ride, but we'll be here for you.

Blessings.

 

[*Rob*]

i know what its like for you, when i was younger i was constantly dragged into sexual things with girls, at parties and all sorts. Ive really struggled as a christian to forget my past and move on with God, but something keeps holding on.
Ineed to tell u all the honest truth, sometimes i really want to "do" stuff, but i know its not pleasing to god, i need prayer

 

[jesusxchick]

Hang in there sis. You'll get things figured out.

have you ever thought about counselling?

I have and I'm being patient right now with finding a mature Christian woman to talk with at church about all this. It's been something that's been recommended to me several times, so I'm going to go for it. I'm just being patient and letting God lead me. He knows that I need someone that I can fully trust and be open with; if I can't trust someone fully or be open with them then nothing will really get anywhere, so I'm just letting God lead me to someone so that I can start dealing with all this.

Your history of sexual abuse could easily have left you more prone to the problems that you are facing right now. When you are abused as a child, your sense of self-worth gets wrapped up in sex and your view of normal sexuality becomes warped and twisted. Many victims end up living a promiscuous lifestyle to try to numb the pain.

I expect that you may have to face some of your issues head-on as you try to tackle your addictions. I would strongly suggest that you put a support system in place including a counselor and mature Christians with whom you can share.

I think that it's wonderful that you are drawing closer to God. He will certainly reward you with some of the peace that you so strongly desire. It may be a bumpy ride, but we'll be here for you.

Blessings.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm fighting this as hard as I can, but like you said it can be bumpy. Satan is fighting me pretty hard, but I'm trying my best. I'm doing the SCF course and it's been helpful, a lot. Given me some good support and Scriptures to keep on hand at all times to get through this.

i know what its like for you, when i was younger i was constantly dragged into sexual things with girls, at parties and all sorts. Ive really struggled as a christian to forget my past and move on with God, but something keeps holding on.
Ineed to tell u all the honest truth, sometimes i really want to "do" stuff, but i know its not pleasing to god, i need prayer

Yeah, the world isn't too shy on bringing innocent children into things that they shouldn't hear or see. Kids are like the worlds main victims, it's sick. I never really thought about it as you put it, "something keeps holding on." Things get hard and sometimes it becomes too much or you just feel like giving up, but you just keep holding on. I've never really thought about that, but it's something to keep in heart and mind because it's actually true. Anyone could give up at anytime, but if you keep going then something is definately holding on. I'll be praying for you *hugs*