Coming on really, really strong

[Left]

A girl came on really, really strongly to me on a dating site tonight. Usually I am the king of coming on strong. But this girl came on stronger to me than I ever have to anyone else. She made jokes about marrying me within 10 messages and asked to call me on the phone. I'm pretty certain she was actually real, it's just she didn't seem to understand social cues or something.

I wasn't sure what to do. On the one hand, these advances made me feel uncomfortable. On the other, I wanted to be respectful. In any case, I blocked her and said a prayer for both of us. Not sure if it was the right thing to do, but it's not something I could handle right now.

 

[Sketcher]

It was probably a dude.

 

[Left]

It was probably a dude.

I'll take it a step further and say, it was probably a male member of the Singles board.

Just kidding.

 

[Sketcher]

I'll take it a step further and say, it was probably a male member of the Singles board.

Just kidding.

Hmm, I don't know that anyone here wants to troll you that badly.

 

[Left]

Hmm, I don't know that anyone here wants to troll you that badly.

I know, but I now want to write a short story about if it was a male member of the forum and they tell me, then me getting all excited thinking that someone, male or female, cared enough to troll me like that, then me being let down upon realizing that it was all just a joke and they never had a secret crush on me when they were posing as someone else.

Yeah... I live a sorry life...

 

[.Mikha'el.]

A girl came on really, really strongly to me on a dating site tonight. Usually I am the king of coming on strong. But this girl came on stronger to me than I ever have to anyone else. She made jokes about marrying me within 10 messages and asked to call me on the phone. I'm pretty certain she was actually real, it's just she didn't seem to understand social cues or something.

I wasn't sure what to do. On the one hand, these advances made me feel uncomfortable. On the other, I wanted to be respectful. In any case, I blocked her and said a prayer for both of us. Not sure if it was the right thing to do, but it's not something I could handle right now.

I once had a local woman make a FB status telling the world she was in love with me and tell me she had wedding dreams about the two of us just because I made a couple of complimentary comments on her page.

 

[blackribbon]

I'd believe it. There are enough people that think "dating and exclusive" means we went on one date and they are talking about getting married after 4 dates (one month). They are crushed if it doesn't work out or "have been cheat on" if the other person talks to another person before they have decided to be exclusive. Then add in the people who are desperate to be "dating" and really don't have many more requirements than a pulse. Dating and social boundaries can be very fuzzy anymore....especially, if you are a person who has difficulty with them even when they are not so fuzzy.

 

[Left]

I'd believe it. There are enough people that think "dating and exclusive" means we went on one date and they are talking about getting married after 4 dates (one month). They are crushed if it doesn't work out or "have been cheat on" if the other person talks to another person before they have decided to be exclusive. Then add in the people who are desperate to be "dating" and really don't have many more requirements than a pulse. Dating and social boundaries can be very fuzzy anymore....especially, if you are a person who has difficulty with them even when they are not so fuzzy.

Don't get me wrong, I move crazy fast. So fast, that whenever a girl moves faster than me, chances are there is something wrong with them.

But this girl did move faster than me... a lot faster...

 

[blackribbon]

Don't get me wrong, I move crazy fast. So fast, that whenever a girl moves faster than me, chances are there is something wrong with them.

But this girl did move faster than me... a lot faster...

Consider how you felt...and maybe consider slowing down yourself. You will probably get a longer & better relationship out of it.

 

[Left]

Consider how you felt...and maybe consider slowing down yourself. You will probably get a longer & better relationship out of it.

Maybe you're right.

I still want to date a girl that's just super, super decisive though. I'm holding out for my Amy Fowler.

 

[drjean]

Maybe she was a foreigner looking for citizenship guy?

 

[blackribbon]

Maybe you're right.

I still want to date a girl that's just super, super decisive though. I'm holding out for my Amy Fowler.

It sounds like you are actually fishing in a pool of people who are super impulsive instead. Decisive people often take time to back their decisions with more than just emotions. Super decisive people also are more likely to walk away without looking back. If you are decisive, you might want to consider that maybe having someone a little less decisive might actually balance you a bit. I do not mean look for super indecisive but rather people who will take a moment to look over the fence before being decisive about jumping over it.

 

[Citanul]

I'll take it a step further and say, it was probably a male member of the Singles board.

I told you before - that was a complete misunderstanding on my part and I apologised profusely at the time. It can be very difficult to tell the gender of turtles from just a headshot.

 

[Left]

I told you before - that was a complete misunderstanding on my part and I apologised profusely at the time. It can be very difficult to tell the gender of turtles from just a headshot.

Bazinga!

 

[blackribbon]

Maybe you're right.

I still want to date a girl that's just super, super decisive though. I'm holding out for my Amy Fowler.

Amy Fowler is very aggressive and attempts to control the relationship. She actually sounds like your aggressive girl.

(Out of curiosity, are you okay with a girl who looks and dresses like Amy Fowler? .. not Mayim Bialik)

 

[Waddler]

There are so many reasons I avoid dating sites. Scammers and desperate people are far too common. I've been propositioned by women who want to start dating exclusively right away. I think you did the right thing by blocking her. In my experience, people like that are either desperate and lonely, a scammer, and/or mentally ill. I've seen women in the midst of mania who decide on the fly, "this guy is my husband."

You can't run away fast enough from that.

 

[Left]

Amy Fowler is very aggressive and attempts to control the relationship. She actually sounds like your aggressive girl.

(Out of curiosity, are you okay with a girl who looks and dresses like Amy Fowler? .. not Mayim Bialik)

Yes, I'm completely fine with it.

 

[blackribbon]

Yes, I'm completely fine with it.

Well, your post appears to be about an Amy Fowler.

 

[sundewgrower]

Maybe you're right.

I still want to date a girl that's just super, super decisive though. I'm holding out for my Amy Fowler.

I would avoid impulsive and find people who are more evaluative. It's better to be told no than an impulsive YES--like you're getting a more real answer and less bouncing around. I dated a future attorney--decisive and irresponsible. So don't think decisive is good without decency and responsibility. Past that--I would see why you move so far, and understand what you're really looking for. Evaluate yourself and see what happens.

 

[Toro]

There are so many reasons I avoid dating sites. Scammers and desperate people are far too common. I've been propositioned by women who want to start dating exclusively right away. I think you did the right thing by blocking her. In my experience, people like that are either desperate and lonely, a scammer, and/or mentally ill. I've seen women in the midst of mania who decide on the fly, "this guy is my husband."

You can't run away fast enough from that.

Just out crazy crazy..... thats all you have to do.

For example:

Crazy lady says "You're my husband" you say "Yes, we shall bathe in the blood of all that oppose us!"

If that is met with excitement..... run, change your name to Stan and move to Pakistan..... cause shes the type of crazy that will find you and will kill you..... then marry your corpse......