Come on in, the coffee's hot

[Judy02]

hi everyone! Is it ok to join this thread?

Kinda late I know lol

 

[lmarie23]

hi everyone! Is it ok to join this thread?

Kinda late I know lol

Certainly you can join, Judy. Everyone is welcome.

 

[Mask]

Hi Judy02 ...of course you can join this thread!! It's always nice to chat to new people! Welcome!! How are you doing today?

April...no need to apologize! Sometimes just venting, helps us sort things out in our minds, makes us feel better and sometimes even brings revelation !!

I just got back from having a late breakfast with my hubby, another couple and their kids (the guy fishes like my hubby) !! They both decided to call their wives and ask us to meet them for breakfast so we could have a little visit with them. It was nice! An extra hour with him is great...especially when he isn't falling asleep on me because he is so tired ! I told him he wasn't helping us save money by enticing me to go out to eat but he had a free breakfast card and I got the cheap special for $5.00, so I guess that's acceptable...once in awhile!

Have a good one!

Hi Lynne...how are you today?

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Welcome Judy.

Hi everybody, I'm just checking in, don't have much to say. Got no real news really.

 

[Soulwings]

Jude! *crash tackle hugs* Welcome to the thread - it's never too late to join. How are things going??

I've got no real news either.... it's been a quiet day, really, and tomorrow will be quiet too. I'm going to see my psych Saturday morning, though, and we're most likely going to discuss my going on lithium for the mood swings, since my current mood stabilizer isn't cutting it. But.... lithium makes you gain weight. And I don't see how this is possible for a vegetarian on a 1200 calorie diet........ how can you gain weight from eating tofu and apples and fat-free yoghurt and protein bars??

(the gaining weight part really scares me...)

 

[lmarie23]

Hi everyone.

Mask, that's nice that you got to spend some quality time with your husband. Sorry about the issue with your daughter. My brother's in high school and he never eats lunch, but that's just because he doesn't have time for a lunch period. He's too much of an overachiever. I think I eat less when I'm eating in front of my friends, but I still do eat.

April, I've struggled with weight gain and medications too. I don't really have an ansewr to that, but for me it seemed like the benefits of the meds outweighed the side effect of weight gain. My counselor, I saw him yesterday and he said I'm doing really well so he thinks I should try to get off one of my medications (Abilify) and on a lower dosage of my other med (Depakote). and though i think that would be nice, i dont' like being dependent on meds, at the same time it scares me, i'm doing pretty well now and i dont' want to jeopardize that. plus it's hard to get my psychiatrist to listen to me, he's pretty much in his own little world.

Mask, thanks for asking about my day. It's been... interesting. I saw my counselor yesterday, and he's trying to get me to see him less frequently because he says I'm too dependent on him (I wrote a thread about this). So we agreed to start meeting once every week and a half instead of once every week. I feel bad about the whole dependency thing, I know I should be dependent on God not people, but it's hard to put that into practice.

And now I have this new Bible study I'm so excited about and the Bible study leader is this great guy and I could easily see myself getting dependent on him if I don't watch out. I've already met with him personally to discuss some spiritual issues I have (he has a degree from seminary). So I wrote my Bible study leader last night and discussed some things about our last meeting, and some insecurities I have. well it was too personal an email, i said more than i should have, and i feel terrible about it. i'm so paranoid about how he's goign to respond. so i spent today in deep depression, compulsively checking my email. waiting for his response. and it hasn't come yet. i'm sure i've ruined everything with him and he probably thinks i'm really messed up now and i wish i had never sent that email. i spent a lot of today sleeping, because i just didn't want to get up and face the world and try to do things.

but there is some good news - i had written all the libraries in my area of Ohio and sent them my resume, and one of them sent me back an application and said that they have an opening for a part-time children's and young adult librarian. so that's nice. i hope i get the job. maybe it's just part time but it would be nice, sounds perfect for me.

and tonight i went to the singles potluck and game night at my church and i had fun eating food and playing apples to apples with a few guys. i actually sat at a table with like 7 guys for supper, it was amusing. it's just the way it happened. i'm becoming friends with one of the guys, but he's my parents' age. if only he was closer to my age, i could see him as a type of guy i could end up dating. it's just weird to think of him as the same age as my parents, when my parents never do things like hang out places with friends. my parents seem so much older.

haha, this is longer than i meant it to be. but oh well. i hope you all are well..... excuse my rambling.

Lynne

 

[Mask]

Good morning everyone! It's FRIDAY!! I guess that wouldn't matter to a lot of us who are home now anyways...oh well it's still nice to have the weekend. Nice for me not to have to help get kids ready for school for a few days. As for me for today, hubby is coming home around 11ish and we are taking a drive to go look at a workshop/garage/barn (whatever you want to call it) that is for sale. He'll go back to work when we get back but at least that an hour or so extra with him today too !

I called the library yesterday to see if they had in a couple of books I wanted to read about personal finances/budgeting but of course they didn't have either one ! I can fill out a library doner request but it will probably take 6 weeks to come!!! That stinks!! Who wants to wait 6 weeks...I WANT THEM NOW!!! Can you tell, I don't like waiting for stuff ?

Lynne-it is hard not to get to dependant on people...especially someone who is helping us and we admire but it's not healthy for you in the end. I know it must be scary thinking about not meeting with him as much or at all some day...but that is such good news!! It means that you are becoming well!! You should be really proud of yourself!! It is o.k though to need someone to talk to. We can and should talk to God firstly but I once hear someone say this about a friend, that they were "God with skin on". Sometimes we need someone in the physical, to listen, look at us, and hug us. You are doing great!! Don't let worry rob you of your success! Go ahead and take the lesser dosage of meds...if you find out they are enough, then just ask for them to be put back up to the original dosage. You will never know if you need them or not untill you try going will less.

April-I hear ya about gaining weight!! I'm not afraid of gaining weight...I just disgusted at gaining weight!! I've been trying to cut down on eating lately but I still haven't lost anything !!! I'm so sick of this yo-yo weight loss thing! I don't know how many times I've lost 25 pounds, just to gain it all back in a couple of years.. wah wah! Try weighing 165 and have a sister who weighs 90!!! I certainly would not want to weigh 90 but 130-140 would be nice. I'm so sick of dieting...bleck!! I'll shut up now!

 

[Soulwings]

Tracey - How are you doing this morning?

Lynne - Getting dependent on people is a hard thing to not do, especially if they've helped you out a lot. I think that that hasn't happened to me yet simply because I don't trust people enough to depend fully on them. Well, I guess in the case of my fiance, I do depend on him, but he depends on me so that's all good. But as far as professionals go... yes, they help a lot and it feels like we can't live without them, but that's the point of them being there - to help us get to where we can live without them. If that makes any sense.

I'm sure the email that you sent to your Bible study leader was fine. Try not to worry too much about it (oft-given advice that is much easier said than done, haha). Being self-disclosing really helps in some situations and I think that this might be one. And being paranoid about it isn't any fun, so... *snuggles* I'm glad you had fun at the singles' night though; meeting new people and making new friends is always exciting. And a good thing to do so you don't get stuck in the same old hole of having one or two friends and that's it.

Mask - Yes, it's Friday!! I'm glad too, even though it doesn't matter much anymore since uni is out. This weekend is actually going to be sort of busy, but today isn't, which is nice. I've even taken a 2 hour nap (*gasp*) because I didn't sleep well last night.... so non-busy days are the best. Hehe. I hope you're enjoying that time with your husband - I'm glad that you get to spend some more time with him!!

I hope those books come in soon - does the library have them and have them checked out, or is the only way for you to get them to go through interlibrary loan? Hehe, I'm impatient too, as far as ... well, as far as many things go.

And I get where you're coming from, Mask! I weigh around 160lbs now, although thanks to treatment I've lost ~25lbs of fat and gained the equal amount of lean muscle back... but that doesn't make the number on the scale go down much at all, and I'm aiming for 140lbs with my nutritionist's guidance. And my sister weighs around 115lbs so I hear where you're coming from on that (although 90 is really low, is she okay?). It's tough to not weigh as little as you'd like... although I always wonder if once you get down to that weight and stabilize there, are you really going to be happy? I don't know if I would/will be. Once I get to 140 it'll seem like too much..... that's where I got hung up with my ED; I got down to 130 and that still seemed like way too much, but I gained back a lot really fast once I ate more than 200 calories a day. Heh. So that freaked me out. I hope that doesn't happen again... and then lithium comes into the picture..... hopefully I can keep away from weight gain by being careful to not carb-cram and to drink diet drinks/water rather than sugary things. Neither of those should be a problem since that's what I do now anyway.


Other than that whole kadiddle, I'm doing okay. I didn't sleep well last night - again - got to sleep around 2am and up at eight thirty - so I'm wondering if my psych is going to be talking about putting me on Rozeram for sleep. But then again, once we start lithium, that's supposed to be a sleepifying med, so that'll work out nicely.

My goat really looks pregnant, and I milked her a few days ago ..... but we don't know how the heck she could've gotten bred, since the last time that she was exposed to a buck (to our knowledge, anyway!) was in February 2006. So...... I guess we'll just have to wait and see. It would be madly awesome if she actually did have kids!! More animals for the menagerie. *grin*


Do you all have plans for the weekend??

 

[Mask]

April-as for the books, they don't have them at all so the loaner thing is the only way to get them..bummer! I didn't make it in to the library yet to fill out the form, who knows when I'll actually do that?? I think it's open tomorrow, maybe I'll go then.

As for my sister, yes she is o.k. We are really only half sisters (that doesn't matter to me!), she has a different father. She is short, not even 5 feet , tiny and has a high metabolism...always has been small (though she did weigh 105 in high school). At one point, when she was stressing out to much, she only weighed 80 pounds! My mom is short and tiny too, I must have unfortunately took after my father (I'm not sure who he is). Can you say UNFAIR !! I usually can get stubborn and lose the weight but I can't keep it off!! I always tell myself that as soon as I start gaining, I will cut back and keep it off, but I don't! Why is weight such a struggle? The older I get the fatter I get, even if I weigh the same! I'm a big ball of mush !! I need exercise and muscle but I hate exercise!! I can't afford a gym membership, I won't walk around here because I'm afraid of dogs, I can't stay motivated working out by myself at home!! I'm just stuck!! Celulite....GROSS!! Enough of that...it's not helping me!!!

A new baby goat would be exciting! Are you going to call the vet to check her out?

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Hi everyone,

I'm doing okay today. Not much to report really. I'm glad its Friday, even though I enjoy my job I still enjoy the weekend. This weekend there's a big rugby match - its the final match between my province and another province. It was a big competition between provinces from Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. Normally teams from Australia and New Zealand go through to the finals because SA's teams are not quite as good but this year my province's team is at the top of the points table and its a home final. There has been so much hype about this match, I just hope we win!
The tickets sold out in less then 2 hours, thats how big this match is! I'm looking forward to that!

I should have loked at my Linear Algebra textbook tongight but I wasted time playing a coputer game. I've also got the church bulletin to do as well. Now I'm feeling a bit tired so I don't know if I can really concentrate on maths now, but I can't fall behind! Tomorrow morning I have a maths lesson.

Anybody got interesting plans for the weekend?

 

[Judy02]

Hi everyone. Thanks for the welcome!!

It's nice to see one of these types of threads up and running on the depression forum - they often seem to provide support for everyone.

Great to see you around here too april

I left a (very late) reply for you on facebook too hehe, on like a PM (finally worked it out).

I've just been feeling really down again lately is pretty much it really guys. For the first time in months, haven't been back to this forum very often for ages, but well yeah.

This wkend, I'll be working a few hours in my part time job. I've been on my holidays at work recently, as I've had exams on and needed the time off, but working sometimes helps take my mind off things and cheers me up sometimes. When I'm not busy, I tend to worry and overanalyse things more - which I think is a main thing getting me depressed nowadays, but its also really hard to stop - grr! I've got a lot of things on my mind lately, probably need to update my blog, but I feel it might bring me down more at the moment than being therapeutic.

Is anyone else up to anything exciting tonight or over the weekend? xxxx

P.S. April (sorry for slight derailment) remember 'restoredsoul' who used to post fairly regularly on CF on the thread 'depression support'? Have u heard from her at all this year? She seems to have disappeared, I haven't seen her for ages lol.

 

[Mask]

Hi Judy

I know what you mean...to much free time can be a bad thing sometimes! It can give you to much time to dwell on junk in your head and drive yourself nuts ! I like to be busy, when I'm not, I tend to feel depressed too but if I get to busy, that's not good for me either...can't win !
I'm not doing anything exciting myself !! Kinda boring actually! You guys got anything interesting planned?

I gotta go soon and drive my son's friend home and pick him up a video game.

Have a good night!

 

[Soulwings]

Jude - I got your message on FB, just haven't had the time to reply yet! With CF and LJ and FB and MySpace all to keep up on, as well as numerous emails, I get bogged down pretty quickly.

I'm sorry that things aren't going super great right now. :-( I hope that working this weekend helps some; I know what you mean about not being busy. Sometimes I love just having time to do nothing, but sometimes it makes me feel horrible because I tend to think wayy too much about depressing things. Where do you work??

And no, I haven't seen RestoredSoul in aaages... I remember about that, wasn't there a thread that we posted in a lot? As you can tell, there was a gap where I didn't come to the depression forums, heh.... I think that thread kind of died, sad to say. At least we've got this one up and running, though! And who was the other person in that thread? Tsuriyel? (I hope I spelt that right!) Haven't seen her either.... just kind of went POOF... I hate it how that happens here at CF. :-(


I've actually got a pretty busy weekend going. I just got back from going to the library then to my psych appointment - got some good reads at the library for the trip, from Jodi Picoult to Toni Morrison (my tastes are eclectic!) - and am doubling one of my anxiety meds, and will be starting lithium once we get back from the trip (two weeks). Eeek. And then this afternoon, my best friend is coming over to shear my two sheep - they need it as their wool is about six inches deep and it's very warm outside! - and check on my goat to see if she's pregnant or if it's a false pregnancy. And tomorrow's church in the morning, if we get up in time ( ), and then in the afternoon I've got a poetry circle that's meeting for the first time. Thankfully I know everyone in it - except for one person - so it won't be madly stressful. I've still got to print off poems for that though; I'd better not forget!!

How're you all doing today?? ♥

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Hi Judy, I hope you start feeling better, I hate feeling down. What are you studying?

April, you really do have a busy weekend, I hope you got it all done and I hope the poetry circle goes well.

Mask, I hope you're having a good weekend.

About the rugby match that was happening today - not that it means anything to you because you don't watch rugby. My team was leading most of the time and in the last few minutes the other team scored a try and beat us by one point! It was so disappointing but I thought they might lose, its one of those things. The Sharks will come back and win the next tournament.

 

[dnihila]

 

[dnihila]

 

[Mask]

Hi everyone!

We are having a long weekend here in Canada! It was nice sleeping in this morning! I stayed there a bit to long though...now my back aches ! I had a quiet weekend. Did some work around the house and hubby did some yard work saturday, yesterday we went to church in the morning and had a friend over for lunch, then took a drive with my hubby and then just watched t.v. Nothing grand or exciting...but still nice. I've got no plans for today, so far, any way.

What about you guys...whats ya all doing today?

dnihila..very nice poem you wrote. Sorry about your loss of a loved one.

So April...is the goat pregnant or not? When do you leave on your trip...I forget?

Sorry your team lost TLB...maybe next time they will win!

Well I guess I should go, it's 11:33 and I'm still in my nightdress!! Wouldn't that be cute if someone came to the door !!

Have a great day!

 

[Judy02]

Jude - I got your message on FB, just haven't had the time to reply yet! With CF and LJ and FB and MySpace all to keep up on, as well as numerous emails, I get bogged down pretty quickly.

I'm sorry that things aren't going super great right now. :-( I hope that working this weekend helps some; I know what you mean about not being busy. Sometimes I love just having time to do nothing, but sometimes it makes me feel horrible because I tend to think wayy too much about depressing things. Where do you work??

And no, I haven't seen RestoredSoul in aaages... I remember about that, wasn't there a thread that we posted in a lot? As you can tell, there was a gap where I didn't come to the depression forums, heh.... I think that thread kind of died, sad to say. At least we've got this one up and running, though! And who was the other person in that thread? Tsuriyel? (I hope I spelt that right!) Haven't seen her either.... just kind of went POOF... I hate it how that happens here at CF. :-(


I've actually got a pretty busy weekend going. I just got back from going to the library then to my psych appointment - got some good reads at the library for the trip, from Jodi Picoult to Toni Morrison (my tastes are eclectic!) - and am doubling one of my anxiety meds, and will be starting lithium once we get back from the trip (two weeks). Eeek. And then this afternoon, my best friend is coming over to shear my two sheep - they need it as their wool is about six inches deep and it's very warm outside! - and check on my goat to see if she's pregnant or if it's a false pregnancy. And tomorrow's church in the morning, if we get up in time ( ), and then in the afternoon I've got a poetry circle that's meeting for the first time. Thankfully I know everyone in it - except for one person - so it won't be madly stressful. I've still got to print off poems for that though; I'd better not forget!!

How're you all doing today?? ♥

No worries April! Don't feel you have to rush to reply, I understand things are busy anyway. I wasn't sure if it had worked you see, as thats the first time I've ever sent like a PM on facebook before! I'm still fairly new to that site.

Yeah, I remember you me and restoredsoul used to post on an old thread here for a while, we were often reporting back and trying to encourage one another. It was basically the same sort of thread as this. It's a shame it died, although it did continue for an impressively long time. It's good to see a similar one going again though I know RS was quite stressed out over stuff when she was last here though, and then after christmas kinda time she just stopped posting really. I emailed her not so long back, but she hasn't replied, but oh well. Hopefully she's ok.

Yeah I know what you mean Mask. I get really stressed out if I'm too busy. I'm not very good with juggling a job and school sometimes either. But also, if I have too much free time, I tend to worry and obsess over things more, lol!

TLB - I study a 'BA Honours: English Language and Literature' degree to be precise! I only have 1 exam left on june 1st, and it looks really hard, so quite scared! But its been 4 years at it now, I'm so sick of uni, I just want to leave and be done with this lol! And will be hoping for a slightly easier going life for the next year or so, the first year for absolutely ages (about 7 years!) where I won't have exams to worry about!

But yeah! Working this weekend did help I think with taking my mind off obsessive worrying which usually brings me down.

I hope you guys are all doing ok. I was just thinking we seem to be a quite diverse bunch. I've seen a couple of americans, a south african, a canadian and a brit (me!) so far. Ha, crazy!

I might be rather quiet from now until June 1st, only because things seem to be crazily busy and hectic. But I haven't forgotton you guys, and will still be praying for us, and checking to see how you're all doing! I might just be a bit quiet for a while and not posting quite as much, but its nothing personal!

Speak to you guys soon! xxx

 

[dnihila]

 

[Mask]

Hi to you too dnihila!

Well yesterday was extremely boring!!! I was so bored I drove to town to go to the bank...how exciting! I just got a call from my hubby, he is coming home in a few hours . We are buying a building and they called him to say that they are hauling it to our house today! He needs to come home and make sure the yard is ready. Please pray that all goes well with the move!

It's cold today!!! Very windy! Is the spring/summer weather ever going to show up? This weather is depressing!!!

I had to chase a racoon out of my compost garbage bin four times last night !!! I could not believe how bold he was! He was on the door step railing trying to reach the bin, but he was looking in the door window at my daughter and I!! He wouldn't move when I yelled at him...I had to go out and chase him away! I was scared...you can't really trust them, they can be quite vicious! I don't know what we are going to do to discourage him from coming back? Hubby wants to shoot him !! No way!! He's a pest but I don't want him dead ! Got any tips?

When is Hannah allowed back on the board? It's quiet without her here.

Have a good day everyone!