Come on in, the coffee's hot

[Soulwings]

I do hope that you manage to get through! If so, you must let us know what she's like in person, cos she's pretty freaking amazing.

The walk was okay - it was in the rain; in fact we just got back. It was delayed by a surprise phone call from my fiance, which was lovely. ♥ I have only gotten to speak with him via phone four times this year, counting today's call. So we had a wonderful - and very amusing, at times - chat. Amusing because he was at a family gettogether, and there was, at times, a three way conversation going on, and people trying to figure out who Jarrod was talking with, and what I was like.

And then - I can't remember if I mentioned my struggles with deciding what to do about college in here or not - but the short version is that my fiance thinks that it may be a good idea for me to take a year off college - and my sister somewhat backs up the idea. I settled for planning on going parttime, 9 credits instead of 12. Well, turns out that my dad's insurance policy doesn't cover me unless I'm a fulltime student. And since I really, really need that insurance (treatment team appointments and 7 meds), I have to go fulltime, whether I can mentally handle it or not.

So ... that really... I don't know. There isn't any choice in the matter, really, since things are going to get worse as far as insurance goes anyway, and we'll need all the help that we can get. If I had to go off this family plan insurance policy and my parents had to pay for most of my stuff out of their own pockets... well, that wouldn't happen, because it couldn't.

So I'm stuck, rather, between a rock and a hard place. I can't do what Jarrod thinks would be best, and his opinion really matters. And I can't do what I think might be the best - even though I don't really want to do it - so I have to do what is most sensible, fiscally speaking, even if it is the most sanity-threatening.

And today was going pretty well until tonight. Something always has to happen, though, when I have a pleasant day. So I don't know. It's very frustrating and irritating and annoying and scary. And yep, I am using a lot of italics, something that Jane Austen would laugh at her heroine's sisters for doing. Heh.

I'm going to go down to my bedroom, I think, and read or write or something... I need to have some alone time, because I really don't feel like interacting with my parents. And since they're the only ones I see on weekends..............

 

[Mask]

Hannah...when I was young, I used to have terrible periods just like you but once I started taking the pill, I wouldn't even know I had started my period until I went to the bathroom! It certainly helped me a lot. It's worth a try if they don't have any other suggestions.

April...that really sucks! I'm sure your fiance will understand that you can't financially, do what he is asking of you. That's really to bad that you can't take an easier course load for a while and give yourself a bit of a break. It's really rotten to feel like you are stuck! I feel that way about some of my stuff too. It is very frustrating. You know what you need to do (for your health) but fianacially you just can't do what is best for you. How come you don't see anyone but your parents on weekends?? That must get rather boring! I hope you get a good rest and feel better tomorrow. At least it was nice to get to talk on the phone to your fiance.

Well we all got through the rabbit fiasco! I am proud of myself for not freaking out towards my daughter. I handled the situation calmy and I didn't blab on for an hour and make her feel crappy. We talked about it all and it's all fine. She was sorry for what she did. We told her she had to apologize to the boyfriends parents and take responsibility for the situation. I'm sure it was very hard for her, but that's life. She and I went shopping for clothes today so all is well between us .

Have a great evening all!

 

[HannahBanana]

April ~ I definitely will tell you what Julie is like. I hope I get to talk to her. The website says the following about the booksigning:

Each ticket grants the ticket-holder the opportunity to have two books signed without personalizations by Julie.

The "without personalizations" bit makes me think that the whole thing will be rushed and not much fun at all. Though I could be reading too much into it. I've just been picturing it in my head so often, and I hope I'm not setting myself up for a letdown.

Also, I'm sorry you're going through some tough times right now. I wish I could give you a huge hug in real life, but I guess "cyber hugs" will have to suffice for now: . Money is a tricky thing, that's for sure, as is insurance. I hope you can find some way to enjoy continuing to attend school full-time. That's my hope for you, anyways.

Mask ~ The thing with me and the pill is that I'm a huge hypochondriac (once I even had myself convinced that I had a phantom pregnancy, lol) and I tend to think that I have every single side effect possible. That's why I don't prefer to take OTC or prescription medications (though there are some times when it's unavoidable). I'm definitely looking into the pill, though, I just don't know how good of a choice taking it would be. Thanks for the recommendation, though.

Also, I'm glad you got the whole rabbit thing worked out. That's great that your daughter was able to be mature about it all...sounds like you've raised her well.

And now I shall head off to bed, as my thoughts are getting more and more incomprehensible by the minute and I don't want to end up typing nonsense. I hope everyone has a great night and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

 

[Mask]

Hi all, just popped in to say a quick hello and wish you all a happy day!! I gotta go get dressed for church. Not sure if we will be doing anything special after church today or just coming back home for lunch. It's kinda dreary outside! I hate that...I want sunshine! Hugs to you all!

 

[Soulwings]

Mask- I'm so glad that things worked out between you and your daughter! That's definitely good news. It would've been hard for me to manage it calmly, so kudos to you, and that's wonderful that your daughter handled it so maturely. Says much for your character and hers.

My family is rather anti-social, and I am as well, so I don't really do much with friends. I have two close friends but since we live out in the middle of nowhere, I rarely see them. The nearest one is 8 miles away, the other one is about 25. Although they both have their driving licenses (and I don't yet, haha, and I'm older than both of them :o), they're often busy with family/school/other stuff. And my uni friends are usually either busy or at home for the weekend. So... there you go. Hehe. It'll be nicer once Jarrod moves here; that way we'll be able to go on dates and such, and go to church, and have meals here at home often. Until then, I'll just have my books, animals, coursework, and online friends to keep me company.

Church today was good. The series of sermons that we're doing now is on marriage/dating relationships, and today's sermon was on "Marriage Myths." It was really quite interesting, and very useful for me, since (of course) I'm engaged. For those of you who are married, do you have any suggestions for things that those of us who aren't married yet should keep in mind??

Hannah - Thank you for the hugs, they're almost as good as real life hugs. And I send some back your way! I hope you slept well... sleep is so nice. And I doubt that you'd ever type incomprehensible rubbish. ;-)

Okay, off to have lunch... take care, everyone, and I hope you're having a fantabulous day!! *snuggles*

 

[HannahBanana]

Church today was fun. I was a bit apprehensive beforehand since the church I was visiting is an evangelical church and I am a bit "anti-evangelicalism," but my fears quickly dissipated once the service started. It was a special international service today and a few neighboring churches (a Haitian church, a Korean church, and a Hispanic church) joined us. The sermon, devotional, and worship songs were all in different languages (though thankfully, translations were provided). I really enjoyed it, though, especially since I got to see my friend there. I'm really glad I went...it was such a great experience, and it confirmed for me that I do want to remain a Christian (I had been questioning recently whether or not to de-convert). Ahh, what a lovely morning.

I hope everyone else had a good morning as well. And now I am off to do some homework and clean my pigsty of a room. Talk to you all later.

 

[jesusfreak220]

Hey guys. Haven't checked in for a few days and I'm too lazy to read all the old posts. So how're y'all? I'm so sleepy today! I had prom last night and I didn't get to sleep til 3!

 

[Soulwings]

Oh Hannah, I'm glad that you had a lovely time. And I'm glad that the service convinced you to remain Christian. Very wise choice there... Christianity is not an easy route to take, but the benefits are well worth it! (Plus, the retirement is infinitely beyond compare! ) That's really cool though, about the international churches. We don't really have any of those in the nearby area - although in the larger cities (there aren't any in the immediate area; I mean the ones about 70 - 90 miles away) there are Hispanic and Chinese fellowship churches, I think. Coolness.

Did you have fun at prom, Jesusfreak? I hope so... but wow, I don't blame you for being tired - I would be as well. Getting to sleep at 1am is enough to make me tired, much less three!

I think I'm going to go outside and enjoy the sun. We don't see much of it in the winter/early spring, so I'd better find pleasure in it while I can! ♥

 

[HannahBanana]

Hey everyone. I hope everyone's enjoying the last day of April. As for myself, I'm going to be heading off to the library in about half an hour, which should be fun. Just wanted to check in and bump this thread back up.

 

[Mask]

Hello all ! Hope you all had a good weekend! They sure do fly by so fast. I had breakfast and ran errands with my hubby today. He starts fishing tomorrow so we won't have that much time alone for a few months now ! Oh well we will still have sundays together. I'm gonna make supper early because I'm going to a scrapbooking get together tonight with some friends. Should be interesting. I'm not do a scrapbook yet but some ideas won't hurt to have ready.

April...my marriage advice would be to remember, men can't read our minds!!!! We think they should but they can't ! Express what you are feeling and thinking...don't just assume that he must know, because 99.9% of the time, he won't! It will save a lot of frustration on both of your parts if you both just communicate your needs.

Any wonder you were tired jesusfreak...3:00 is pretty late!! Especially for us old geezers !

Glad you enjoyed the church service Hannah. It does sound very interesting!

Bye for now!

 

[Jo1]

Hi everyone hope you all had a good weekend.
Half of mine was stressful. Had film show which went well but dave my husband had to work all day.
So it was all a bit of a stress and i felt miserable on my own.
Sunday was much better, helped in garden in morning. then we went to a lovely gardens where we saw mandarin ducks, my favourites, swans with black heads to their neck and white body. also you could get real close to flamingos. had a nice time laughing with dave looking at the animals they are very comical.
im excited today cos its my birthday tomorrow. but no birthday balloons coming up and no one seems to be able to help me! sob.. catch you all later.

 

[Soulwings]

Happy birthday, Jo. I'm glad your weekend got a bit better; that's always a good thing. And going to those gardens sounds lovely.... ducks and flamingos are amazing especially if you can get close!

I got to sleep at 2.30 last night... and got up at 6.... this insomnia is going to kill me....... I have to go behind my treatment team's back and use caffeine pills, because as much as I love and respect my psych, I can't follow her orders to not use them. Otherwise I would not make it through the day. And I have to be able to, because today is such a long day...... :-( And finals are coming up so I will need them then also, and this weekend too.



How is everyone else doing?

 

[HannahBanana]

Jo1~

I'm glad you had some fun times this past weekend and that you were able to find some sunshine amongst the dark clouds in your life.

April ~ I'm so sorry your insomnia is acting up again. This is the ultimate worst time of year for that to happen, and I hope beyond hope that you're able to get it under control again. I'll pray for you (unless, of course, you don't want me to, which is fine).

As for me, I'm disliking some of my so-called "friends" right now, especially the ones who are more than willing to post on others' Facebook pages but not on mine. (Don't worry, I'm not talking about any of you guys, just about some other people I know.) At least I know who my true friends are, right? Thanks, everyone, for being such a good friend to me. I really appreciate it. ​

 

[Mask]

hello everyone! Guess what I woke up to this morning?? SNOW !!!!! I can't believe it! I mean, the ground is covered, the trees are covered...SNOW!! Not a very nice day for hubby to have to start fishing in! Please pray that it stops and it warms up so he can do his work without freezing!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jo1!!!! Hope you have a great day and many more to come! Are you doing anything special to celebrate?

April, I would be very careful of those caffine pills! They aren't good for you heart! I can't imagine they help you in sleeping either....maybe that's some of the reason you don't sleep well, you body is all hyper on caffine?? That could be a very bad cycle to break. Please be very careful with your health! You should follow you Dr.'s advice.

Hannah, I wouldn't sweat it, with the people not signing your facebook. Don't let those things get to you! I'm sure it isn't bothering them so don't let it bother you!

Hope you all have a great day today!!

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Happy Birthday Jo!

I haven't been on here much because I haven't had anything to say really. I hope everybody's doing okay.

 

[HannahBanana]

Mask ~ Snow? In May? You've gotta be kidding me! I hope it melts quickly, at least. I do not envy you for that at all. I wish I could trade weather with you, so that you could enjoy the sun and the warmth. What a way to start your week, though.

And I've actually deactivated my Facebook account. It was causing me too much stress on the whole anyways, so I figured deactivating it was best for me.

Other than that, I am SOOOOOOOOO excited about tomorrow (the booksigning with Julie Andrews is at 6:30 PM)! You should've seen me in my classes today...I could not focus at all. I kept glancing at the clock every five minutes, lol. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 24 hours with this amount of impatience and excitement. I need some Valium or something, lol. Seriously, I'm so amazingly hyper right now.

 

[jesusfreak220]

Soulwings-I had an amazing time at prom! If anybody wants the whole story about it, PM me and I'll send you the link to my journal where I wrote it up. And if any of you have LJ let me know cuz I'd LOVE to add you!!!

Right now, I'm dealing with the monthly curse (cramps stink). It just got here today and thus it sucks. I was thinking earlier about what somebody said, I think it was Hannah, about how it makes them feel stronger to deal with cramps without medication. I've only taken one advil liquigel today instead of the 4 normal advil I would normal have taken by this point. (Heat+tea+my favorite blanket will be my course of treatment for the night. )

Is anybody else planning on seeing Dirty Dancing in theaters? It's showing tonight and tomorrow at 7:30. Two nights only for the 20 year anniversary of its premiere.

 

[Soulwings]

Hannah- I'm sorry that FB is being horrible for you. Hopefully you will be able to go back on it sometime, as that was a nice way to keep in touch with you (as well as on here, of course!). And your prayers are very much appreciated. How is everything else in your life going? Are you feeling better? How's uni and the end-of-semester stress?

Mask - I can't believe that you have gotten snow! That's crazy.... but I am sticking to the idea that it will snow on my birthday. (1 June. It's actually snowed every month of the year here, at one point or another, except for July I think it was.) I hope that your hubby got out okay without getting too frozen!!

I know I should stop using the caffeine pills... but honestly... I can't survive without them. I've tried replacing them with coffee, but I'd have to drink it super fast to get the caffeine at all as fast as I need it. As is, the pills take about an hour and a half to work. Coffee takes about three hours to get into my system enough to boost me, and anyway, I am horrible at drinking things... so it's difficult to get in more than a cup of coffee before I go off to uni in the mornings. But I'll try to stop taking them once classes/finals are over. Just another week and two days. Of course, then I'll probably be going on lithium, which is a sleepy med, and if I have to take it during the day, I will be balancing it out with the pills again... A neverending rather vicious cycle. :-(

I got three and a half hours of sleep last night, so I'm shattered today. The pills definitely came in handy, I'm sorry to say. :-( My psych is going to try Lunesta next (I've already been on Ambien CR and Sonata, so she isn't too sure that Lunesta will work, but right now I'm willing to give anything a shot). If it doesn't work or if my insomnia doesn't just clear up with classes ending (that would be a miracle), Rozeram (I think?) is the next one on the list.

Tonight is another crappy night. :-( But today has been passable - tiring, lonely, but okay. I've only spoken with one person today other than my parents, which is rather pitiful... all my friends seem to be too busy for me (friends or "friends", I'm not sure), which I guess I can sort of understand as it's so close to finals week. I just wish that my mind didn't twist it all around so I think that I've done something wrong. :-(

I think I shall email my fiance (he's going to get my ring resized, and then he will actually be able to put it on my finger on 28 May! [/random tidbit of information]), and then go off to bed to read for awhile. I started The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison today, and perhaps will finish it tonight if I don't get sleepy/to sleep until 1am or later.

*snuggles everyone and steals a mug of spiced chai to take with her*

 

[lmarie23]

Tonight is another crappy night. :-( But today has been passable - tiring, lonely, but okay. I've only spoken with one person today other than my parents, which is rather pitiful... all my friends seem to be too busy for me (friends or "friends", I'm not sure), which I guess I can sort of understand as it's so close to finals week. I just wish that my mind didn't twist it all around so I think that I've done something wrong. :-(

I think I shall email my fiance (he's going to get my ring resized, and then he will actually be able to put it on my finger on 28 May! [/random tidbit of information]), and then go off to bed to read for awhile. I started The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison today, and perhaps will finish it tonight if I don't get sleepy/to sleep until 1am or later.

*snuggles everyone and steals a mug of spiced chai to take with her*

i'm sorry you're having a rough night and having insomnia problems. i hope tonight and tomorrow are better. the bluest eye is a good book, i really liked it at least. i love toni morrison. i took an honors seminar on updike and morrison once and really enjoyed it.

Lynne

 

[HannahBanana]

April ~ I'm actually okay with Facebook now. I'm in a better mood than I was before, which helps, plus, I realized that without Facebook, I have no way to communicate with a lot of my friends (since I hate hate hate talking on the phone). So I reactivated my account, and have enjoyed messaging my friends on there tonight.

Everything else in my life is going pretty well. There's the Julie Andrews thing tomorrow, and then I'm going to be trying out a local church on Sunday (which I was too afraid to do before now, since it meant letting people I know know about my faith), and then next Thursday is my last day of classes. I have a TON of work to get done before then, but I'm trying not to dwell on that.

Emotionally, I'm having my ups and downs. It seems like everyone my age has actual things to do with their lives (rather than just sitting in front of a laptop all day like me), and that bums me out a lot of the time. Especially when I really want someone to talk to, and my mom is the only person around who isn't out having fun with their college friends. Sometimes I wish I were more into the partying scene...it seems like that's what most of my friends are doing in their spare time. Either that or clubbing. I wish I had more friends who liked to just go to the library and browse the books like I do. That'd be great.

Oh, and I totally hear you about being lonely. I, too, rarely ever talk in person with people other than my parents, and I, too, feel that my friends are neglecting me. I'm starting to wonder if they're friends with me because they honestly want to be friends with me, or if they're friends with me because they pity me. I certainly hope that's not the case for either of us.

Have fun reading, and good luck getting a full night's sleep tonight. You'll be in my prayers.