Come Into The Deep End... with ImHisServant (3)

[jenrenee]

Week 3: Training our thoughts to defeat fear, worry & anxiety
This is a great topic!! I have that verse (Matthew 6:34) posted on my wall here at work. It's so easy to forget, sometimes, that we don't have to struggle through everyday difficulties on our own - that we can hand them over to the Lord and He will take care of them for us. I am definitely a worrier - I worry all the time about my family. My dad is an epileptic - he has seizures a lot and I worry that one day it will cause him to be in a car accident or something else. I worry about my parents and that someday their health will go down hill. I worry about my husband - he is a volunteer fireman and I worry that something will happen to him. I worry about my sister, who is pregnant - that something could go wrong. I worry about myself - and what would happen to my loved ones, if something were to ever happen to me. I worry that we won't ever be able to have children - and that if we try to adopt, it will take a long time. I constantly worry about things - and yes, it can definitely control your life if you let it. I lose a lot of sleep sometimes just worrying about something that will probably never happen. When this occurs, I have to remind myself - God has asked me to give my worries and my anxieties over to Him. All it takes is prayer - All I need to do is ask Him to take over - and He does.

A practical way to keep ourselves "in check" is to have an accountability partner. Do you have a fellow Christian in your life that you can call when you are feeling down?​

I never really thought about it - but I do have an accountability partner - my mom. She is a very strong christian and we talk about everything - including our faith. Sometimes when she's feeling down, I'll send her an email with some verses for her particular situation - or just remind her God is listening to her. Sometimes, it's the other way around - I tend to complain a lot of our lack of being able to have chilren - and she reminds me that God has a plan for us - we just need to be patient. I never thought about it, but we are very lucky to have each other.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

Week 3: Training our thoughts to defeat fear, worry & anxiety
This is a great topic!! I have that verse (Matthew 6:34) posted on my wall here at work. It's so easy to forget, sometimes, that we don't have to struggle through everyday difficulties on our own - that we can hand them over to the Lord and He will take care of them for us. I am definitely a worrier - I worry all the time about my family. My dad is an epileptic - he has seizures a lot and I worry that one day it will cause him to be in a car accident or something else. I worry about my parents and that someday their health will go down hill. I worry about my husband - he is a volunteer fireman and I worry that something will happen to him. I worry about my sister, who is pregnant - that something could go wrong. I worry about myself - and what would happen to my loved ones, if something were to ever happen to me. I worry that we won't ever be able to have children - and that if we try to adopt, it will take a long time. I constantly worry about things - and yes, it can definitely control your life if you let it. I lose a lot of sleep sometimes just worrying about something that will probably never happen. When this occurs, I have to remind myself - God has asked me to give my worries and my anxieties over to Him. All it takes is prayer - All I need to do is ask Him to take over - and He does.

A practical way to keep ourselves "in check" is to have an accountability partner. Do you have a fellow Christian in your life that you can call when you are feeling down?

​

I never really thought about it - but I do have an accountability partner - my mom. She is a very strong christian and we talk about everything - including our faith. Sometimes when she's feeling down, I'll send her an email with some verses for her particular situation - or just remind her God is listening to her. Sometimes, it's the other way around - I tend to complain a lot of our lack of being able to have chilren - and she reminds me that God has a plan for us - we just need to be patient. I never thought about it, but we are very lucky to have each other.

What a great subject! I have a tendency to worry as well. To want to take control of things I really should give to God. I try - I give Him things; then take them back. Give them back to Him and then . . . you all know the cycle I'm sure.

Having an accounatability partner is so important it really is. Not only to have someone to talk to; but to help you stayed focused on the things of the Lord; and just someone in general to lean on and "vent" (as women are in the habit of doing-which to me is a very healthy way of coping as long as it doesn't become habitual); but I think accountability partners should be very instramental in our Christian growth and character and should be made to feel like they can constructively criticize you without fear of us getting upset.

Myself and our ladies bible study leader tried to get this type of group going at the last church I went to (for 5 yrs) and it didn't go over well. It was at that point I realized I was in the wrong company -- and please don't take that out of context; I'm not being judgemental or mean I just wanted to be around people who were ready and able to hear the things they needed to work on as well as the good we are doing in our lives. And they just weren't there yet. So . . . I'm still looking for that person to help keep me accountable. Although I have my mother and sister to talk to -- they are in a different place than I am right now. Something to pray about for sure!

 

[Maharg]

Great topic! I try to turn worry into prayer, so that whenever I worry about somehing happening, I pray instead for God to give me strength or to stop the thing from happening. I don't always remember, as worrying is such a habit, but God is faithful, and even those quick prayers, said with little faith have been answered.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

here it is; today's Our Daily Bread

May 1, 2007​

The World Wide Web

READ: Proverbs 4:5-13

I saw that wisdom excels folly as light excels darkness. —Ecclesiastes 2:13

​

Brewster Kahle has a vision for the Internet. He dreams of universal access to all human knowledge. As Digital Librarian and Director and co-founder of Internet Archive, Kahle believes we have only begun to tap the vast potential of the Internet to change and improve our world. “My interest,” he says, “is to build the great library. . . . It is now technically possible to live up to the dream of the Library of Alexandria.” He’s referring to a huge vault of writings in ancient Egypt that was said to house all the world’s knowledge.
But knowledge is not the same as wisdom. King Solomon was a man of vast knowledge (1 Kings 4:29-34). In his better moments, he used his God-given capacity to collect information and insight from every corner of life. In unguarded moments, however, he showed that all the knowledge in the world does not keep a person from missing the purpose of life (Eccl. 1:16-18). In spite of his knowledge, Solomon married many women, and when he was old he built altars to their gods (1 Kings 11:1-11). His foolishness eventually led to his downfall.
Wisdom is the application of knowledge. Don’t get caught in a web of knowledge without true wisdom that comes from the fear of the Lord (Prov. 1:7; 9:10). —Mart De Haan
True wisdom is in living
Near Jesus every day;
True wisdom is in walking
Where He shall lead the way. —Anon.
​

Wisdom gives wings to knowledge.

Please discuss . . .​

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Thanks Judi for posting this.

i grew up knowing that Jesus died for me. I wore a cross around my neck for most of my life. I prayed.

BUT

I had no clue what it really meant. How to apply the knowledge to my life. How it all affected me.

Until one day someone REALLY explained it to me and then a lightbulb went off. That's when knowledge turned into wisdom in my life....when I finally truly understood why Jesus died and rose again...why I should even care.

I will live each day thanking Him for His sacrafice and for drawing me to Him.

 

[RuthD]

 

[cristianna]

Oh I need some time to gather myself for this one.

 

[cristianna]

here it is; today's Our Daily Bread​

May 1, 2007​

The World Wide Web

READ: Proverbs 4:5-13​

I saw that wisdom excels folly as light excels darkness. —Ecclesiastes 2:13
​

He’s referring to a huge vault of writings in ancient Egypt that was said to house all the world’s knowledge.
But knowledge is not the same as wisdom.

King Solomon was a man of vast knowledge (1 Kings 4:29-34). In his better moments, he used his God-given capacity to collect information and insight from every corner of life. In unguarded moments, however, he showed that all the knowledge in the world does not keep a person from missing the purpose of life (Eccl. 1:16-18). In spite of his knowledge, Solomon married many women, and when he was old he built altars to their gods (1 Kings 11:1-11).

His foolishness eventually led to his downfall.


Wisdom is the application of knowledge. Don’t get caught in a web of knowledge without true wisdom that comes from the fear of the Lord (Prov. 1:7; 9:10). —Mart De Haan
True wisdom is in living
Near Jesus every day;
True wisdom is in walking
Where He shall lead the way. —Anon.​

Wisdom gives wings to knowledge.​

Please discuss . . .​

I didn't even grow up knowing Jesus died for me. I didn't even know how Jesus, the Holy Spirit and God worked. How lame was that? I was so utterly confused and totally mislead at to what being a "Christian" was all about. Clueless doesn't even explain it.

Like LLHW I thought I was a "Christian". I thought all it entailed was believing there was a God. That was it. Oh yes, and that the bible was stories of how God worked and did things.

It wasn't until I found a church I really, really cherished, adored and fell in love with that I learned what being a "Christian" really was. And they, contrary to my fears, welcomed and embraced my like no one had-- the good and the bad, the ugly and the pretty, the tears and the praises. They truly became my "real" family.

The pastor at the time was borderline exceedingly unorthodox in his approach of teaching the bible. Don't get me wrong-- he taught the bible. He taught it so well our membership grew by leaps and bounds from under 200 to over probably 1500 in a short time. My heart still weeps over his leaving to pursue greater endeavors (of which I know he will succeed far beyond anyone's imagination). I equate him to a favorite school teacher that leaves such an impression you'd never, ever forget them your entire life.

It was that Pastor and congregation who fed me the knowledge, and it was God who granted me the wisdom to understand what I was being nourished with.

Now.... if only I could unravel the mistruths and nonsense dh has been fed so that he may believe and come to the "real" wisdom that awaits him.

 

[Criada]

here it is; today's Our Daily Bread

May 1, 2007​

The World Wide Web

READ: Proverbs 4:5-13

I saw that wisdom excels folly as light excels darkness. —Ecclesiastes 2:13

​

Brewster Kahle has a vision for the Internet. He dreams of universal access to all human knowledge. As Digital Librarian and Director and co-founder of Internet Archive, Kahle believes we have only begun to tap the vast potential of the Internet to change and improve our world. “My interest,” he says, “is to build the great library. . . . It is now technically possible to live up to the dream of the Library of Alexandria.” He’s referring to a huge vault of writings in ancient Egypt that was said to house all the world’s knowledge.
But knowledge is not the same as wisdom. King Solomon was a man of vast knowledge (1 Kings 4:29-34). In his better moments, he used his God-given capacity to collect information and insight from every corner of life. In unguarded moments, however, he showed that all the knowledge in the world does not keep a person from missing the purpose of life (Eccl. 1:16-18). In spite of his knowledge, Solomon married many women, and when he was old he built altars to their gods (1 Kings 11:1-11). His foolishness eventually led to his downfall.
Wisdom is the application of knowledge. Don’t get caught in a web of knowledge without true wisdom that comes from the fear of the Lord (Prov. 1:7; 9:10). —Mart De Haan
True wisdom is in living
Near Jesus every day;
True wisdom is in walking
Where He shall lead the way. —Anon.
​

Wisdom gives wings to knowledge.

Please discuss . . .​

I've had a tendency to be over-intellectual in the past - to spend too much time asking fruitless questions and arguing in circles.
God finally got me to give that to Him, and learn to just trust Him.
Sometimes you can know the truth in your heart, whilst your brain is still out looking for proof!

Wisdom comes when we manage to put aside our own reasoning, opinions and prejudices and just listen to the still small voice of God in our hearts.

1 Corintians1:
18For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19For it is written:
"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."



True wisdom is in listening and obeying - even though the world may think us foolish.
I'm not even close to being there yet - but I have stopped trying to work it all out by myself.
He is God - I am learning to rely on His wisdom rather than my foolishness!

Now.... if only I could unravel the mistruths and nonsense dh has been fed so that he may believe and come to the "real" wisdom that awaits him.

Praying with you for your husband!
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 

[cristianna]

Praying with you for your husband!
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Thank you Criada. There are times temptation to throw the towel is only miliseconds away, but I remain steady and faithful remembering (well honetly, making myself remember) God's time frame is not mine.

 

[Maharg]

Good topic. Yes, there is a difference between wisdom and knowledge. My own study last night was about wisdom 'Do not be complacent in your wisdom' Jeremiah 9:23. I felt that God was telling me not to be self-willed, not to miss out on the blessings He could give me by 'feverishly planning' my own direction rather than letting Him lead. True wisdom comes from God and we can only act with true wisdom when we are following Him; when we are trusting Him enough to let Hm direct us. I have had real problems with this lately. I have lots of planning to do as a teacher, and had planned to do 3 hours worth of planning last night despite my body telling me I had to rest. In the end, I ended up having to rest because my head hurt and my body would not do any more. As soon as I connected with God and asked Him to take control I became well, and instead of doing the three hours I had planned to do, I did one hour's work, and trusted God that he would help me get through the lesons today that were less well planned.

In theory, all of my lessons are supposed to be planned to a certain standard, but I simply cannot reach that standard and remain healthy. It's hard to remember sometimes that the world might expect things of us that are just simply not realistic and that we are not called to base our life around those standards but around God's.

 

[cristianna]

This is a copy and paste from an online bible study I joined. This particular lesson was just so great I decided to use it. I'm sorry it's a bit long, but it's really good!

I AM (So You Don’t Have To Be)
By:Lisa McKay

Lesson Two - Beautiful To God

Background reading:
Exodus 2, Acts 7 and Isaiah 53


Focal Verses:
"It was at this time that Moses was born; and he was lovely in the sight of God, and he was nurtured three months in his father's home." Acts 7:20 NASB

"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." Isaiah 53:2-3 NIV

"For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation." Psalm 149:4



What is your initial reaction when your husband, mom, or friend says, "You are beautiful!" Do you immediately believe it or is your response, "Sure, right. I am beautiful. You are obligated to think that. But thanks, anyway."

God says you are beautiful and in case you have forgotten, He does not lie! Thankfully, God does not judge by our society's skewed ideas of physical beauty. The Israelites were chief offenders when it was time to choose their king. Their confidence in Saul was based on his "head taller than anyone around" physique. (2 Samuel 9:2) What they could not see is that inside he was a quaking coward. Samuel also relied on appearance when he was to choose Saul's successor. When Jesse's sons were brought before him, he immediately saw Eliab's stature and said, "surely this is the Lord's anointed." It was during this scene when God reminded Samuel that man looked at the appearance of a man, but He looked at the heart.(2 Samuel 6:7) As the Israelites looked forward to the Messiah, no doubt they expected Him to be the next in a long line of lovely kings.

It seems so natural to deny our beauty, yet when we do so we often only have our outside in mind. Yet to reply, "Yes, I am quite stunning aren't I?" flies contrary to the humility Jesus exemplified. So where is the balance? What does God mean when He says we are beautiful and exactly what is the standard we should measure ourselves against?

One place we can look for wisdom is Acts 7:20. Moses was described in the NASB as "beautiful in the eyes of God" or in the KJV, "exceeding fair". It is not surprising that a newborn baby would be described in such a way. However, when you study the meanings of these phrases, it can be concluded his beauty was both on the inside and outside. In my studies I have personally come to believe Moses' physical attractiveness was a tool God used to arouse the compassion of the Egyptian princess. A high premium was placed on beauty in that culture and finding a lovely baby in the waters would have seemed a gift from the gods. A gift from God, maybe - straight to Pharaoh. What is most exciting is the word translated as 'beautiful' or 'fair'. I can hardly wait to tell you about it. You are going to love this!

The Greek word translated 'fair' is 'asteios' (Strongs 791) and is only used to describe Moses. This word is derived from a word 'astu' and means, "one who dwells in a city and by consequence is well bred, polite, eloquent, as the inhabitants of cities are in comparison of those in the country'.

Moses was from the city alright, the heavenly one! Do you ever encounter people and know by their countenance they are believers? A friend of mine went on a mission trip to Africa and while there came in contact with a tribal chief/witch doctor. During her groups' stay, the man was born again. She has 'before and after' photos of him and I am not exaggerating when I say you can hardly tell he is the same man! All of the hard lines of sin were erased and replaced with a gentleness that can only be described as angelic. How amazing that God Himself makes us beautiful! (Psalm 149:4)

We are told in God's word that when we are saved, we are seated in the heavenlies.(Ephesians 2:6) So spiritually speaking, we are like Eva Gabor in Green Acres - high society meets country living. We are City Girls, high-born daughters of the King and when people look at us they are to see peace and joy in our countenance in such a measure they will say, "Wow, she isn't from around here is she? That, girls, is the kind of gorgeous we are after.

As you let the implications of being a City Girl settle on you, read again the focal verse of Isaiah 53:2-3. The only way we can be beautiful to God is to accept the death Jesus died by which he bore the sin, shame, and disgrace which causes both a spiritual and visible ugliness. The Israelites looked for a handsome, physically inspiring man to be their Messiah. Jesus came as none of this. What would draw men to Him would be His Spirit.

The world still looks at our Savior and 'esteems Him not'. The Hebrew word for esteem was an accounting term and meant, "to count, inspire ideas." The description of the Suffering Servant should inspire in us a new line of thinking where loveliness and beauty are concerned. Let this passage be the seed that grows this radical idea in you, "Jesus became ugly, therefore I am not. What draws people to me will be His Spirit, not an outward attractiveness." The Jews counted Jesus as nothing because when they looked on Him, all they saw was one afflicted. Surely He must have been stricken of God instead of sent by Him. Practically speaking, we are still 'esteeming Him not' today by continuing the beating that He has already taken. Some examples of how we do this are: Negative self-talk when we look in the mirror or step on the scale, mentally abusing our own intelligence, nurturing toxic relationships, and engaging in self-destructive behavior are but a few. Remember, thinking lowly of ones self is still thinking of oneself more than God. Reverse pride is still pride and the most dangerous form of idolatry. Ask God to reveal areas in your thought life where He is not being esteemed. If you do not esteem yourself, you are not esteeming Him. God particularly convicted me on this one.



Oh how I wish we could go on. There is just not room! But, let's see how we can apply what we have learned so far.

Discussion Questions:
What is your initial response when anyone suggests you are beautiful?

Do you find you engage in a lot of negative 'self-talk'? How much of your thought life does this form of thinking consume?

Has it ever occurred to you that you are a City Girl? How do you plan to use this knowledge?

In what ways has your view of Godly beauty changed as a result of these Scriptures?

I pray when we look in the mirror, we will learn to see what God sees and love who He loves. Hear me well - You Are Beautiful!! You will act out what you believe - Let the world see your 'City Girl!'

 

[Smileyill]

I agree that people are beautiful simply because they have social graces. They know how to speak, how to dress, how to smile, how to make those around them comfortable - even when confronting a problem.

eh, I haven't shaved in 2 days, so I guess I'd better keep a big smile! hehe.

 

[magdiel]

Practically speaking, we are still 'esteeming Him not' today by continuing the beating that He has already taken. Some examples of how we do this are: Negative self-talk when we look in the mirror or step on the scale, mentally abusing our own intelligence, nurturing toxic relationships, and engaging in self-destructive behavior are but a few. Remember, thinking lowly of ones self is still thinking of oneself more than God. Reverse pride is still pride and the most dangerous form of idolatry. Ask God to reveal areas in your thought life where He is not being esteemed. If you do not esteem yourself, you are not esteeming Him.

When I was younger I had the worse case " no self-esteem". Even after being saved. Then really knowing what I am, a new creature, loved beyond measure, a daughter to God changed that.
But sometimes that comes back briefly, those feelings. And it is so wrong. God doesn't see us that way and for us to do so is wrong.
I never see someone as beautiful by what they look like in terms of what the world calls beautiful. I never did and I think that is a blessing from God. Beauty flows out of a believer. Light and loves shine through them. God shines through them!

You know I was feeling bad about myself last night, my oldest daughter and hubby were complaining and I started feeling bad about myself. I let them take what I know about me, and replace it with wrong feelings about myself. But it wasn't them that did that to me, it was myself.
Then I woke up this morning and they all left for work and school and those wrong feelings left also. I will remember all this. So when it starts happening again, I can stop "feeling" that way immediately because I "know" what and who I truely am.
And stop shifting the focus on myself when my eyes should always be fixed on God!

Thank you Cristianna Very well timed

 

[Criada]

You know I was feeling bad about myself last night, my oldest daughter and hubby were complaining and I started feeling bad about myself. I let them take what I know about me, and replace it with wrong feelings about myself. But it wasn't them that did that to me, it was myself.
Then I woke up this morning and they all left for work and school and those wrong feelings left also. I will remember all this. So when it starts happening again, I can stop "feeling" that way immediately because I "know" what and who I truely am.
And stop shifting the focus on myself when my eyes should always be fixed on God!

Thank you Cristianna Very well timed

I can relate to that!
I think my main self- esteem problem comes from feeling inadequate as a mother!
Every time something goes wrong for one of my children, I feel that I must have done something wrong.
But I know that's not true - and not what God says. And He has been teaching me to focus on Him, not myself.
So - I'm getting there. And mostly I can say "Lord, I know I've done my best, now they're in Your hands."
It's good to take a look at this - as I write, I can see how far He has brought me recently.
Because this happens a lot less than it used to. Which I hadn't really considered until now...
Actually - that third sentence isn't true any more! Occasionally, not every time! Thank you Jesus.

Thanks, Cristianna.

 

[JPPT1974]

We need to put the focus on God
Rather than on selves and that way
God will have His way with us!

 

[rosiecotton]

How's Your Love Life?, Part 10
Series: How's Your Love Life?​

When we think of sins we're often guilty of, does rudeness usually make the list? According to the apostle Paul, being rude is the opposite of showing love. What exactly does it mean to be rude?

Today we're looking at two characteristics of love. First, love is not rude. Or as another translation says, "Does not act unbecomingly." I think rudeness is one of the dominant characteristics of the era in which we live. Turn on the television today and watch prime-time programming. You're likely to get a healthy dose of rudeness. Think about some of the ways that people talk to each other. You'll hear crude, offensive language. You'll see crude, offensive behavior.

You see particularly women on television today who are loud, who are boisterous, whose behavior and words are suggestive. Certainly men and women both can be rude, but I think it's particularly unattractive in us as women. It's particularly important that we model in this world--and we model even to men--what it means to act in a way that is loving rather than rude.

Love has good manners. Love is sensitive to the feelings of others. Love is considerate. Now rudeness can come out in different ways. A lack of love can be seen in someone who is excessively shy. You say, "Well, that person is not rude." But that person may get into a group and out of fear of man, fear of what others will think, may just stay to herself. (She) doesn't reach out; doesn't extend conversation to others. That's rude.

Most of you think of me (Nancy Leigh DeMoss) as a very outgoing person, but I am actually rather introverted. When I get into a crowd of people I don't know, it's hard for me to start conversations and to introduce myself to people or to ask them questions. But being a good conversationalist, showing interest in others, is a characteristic of love.

Years ago I was speaking at a women's conference. During the lunch break--I was teaching in the morning and in the afternoon--I went and sat at a lunch table with several other women around the table that I did not know. My mind--and here is how I justified what happened--in my mind, I was mentally preparing for the next session. Being in that frame of mind, I was not much of a conversationalist at the table. At the end of that conference, I received a note from one of the women who was seated at that table. She said, "The way that you did not talk to us during that lunch break was so rude that I could not listen to anything else you said in the afternoon."

Now that was really a faithful wound. That happened years ago. But you know, I've never forgotten it. I realize that in every way I'm an ambassador of the God of love. Even in what, I think, are my obscure, behind-the-scenes moments where no one (I think) is paying attention--people are watching. They're watching you. The way that we deal with them is making an impact. The person who is loving and who is not rude will be tactful, will be sensitive, will be gracious, considerate, thoughtful and mannerly.

Again--and this has been true of so many of these characteristics that we've looked at--one of the areas where this is most important is inside the four walls of our own homes. Those words, Proverbs says, can be like a sword, like a spear, that goes in and cuts and wounds the spirit. There are those of us in this room who heard something when we were a child that was rude, inappropriate and unkind. It wounded us. But how many times do we use our own tongues to wound the spirit of a husband, of a son or daughter?

Thoughtlessly, carelessly saying things to those that we live and work the most closely with--that we would not say to guests or visitors or those that we don't know.
By the way, moms, this is an important thing to be teaching to your children. If you don't teach it to them, probably no one else will: the importance of appropriate behavior, of good manners. Manners matter. I know they don't matter to many people in this culture, but they do matter. The essence of good manners is doing what is thoughtful, what is considerate. Even table manners. If you go back and study how some of this evolved, it has to do with what makes the other person feel at ease. The children need to be taught respect for authorities, not only respectful behavior but respectful in the way that they talk about authorities.

By the way, more of that is caught probably than taught. If you are free with your mouth to say comments that put down your pastor or your husband or your boss, don't be surprised when you hear your children mouthing off about a teacher or another authority. It's important to teach your children to communicate. It's sad to me when I see teenagers who don't look adults in the eyes and won't say hello and won't carry on a conversation. Part of love is not being rude. It's acting in a way that is gracious.

Now we want to look at one other characteristic of genuine love. That is that love is not self-seeking. Love does not seek its own. I suppose if there were a mantra for our culture, it would be "Have it your way." That's really at the root of our fallen human nature, isn't it? A drive to have it my way. So we're so natural to seek our own rights, our own interests, our own glory.

The Corinthians had this problem. They wouldn't share their food at their love feasts. They were protective of their rights to the point of suing fellow believers in pagan law courts. They wanted the best spiritual gifts for themselves. They sought their own way.

But we do it, too. I heard just recently of the story of a woman who has left her husband and four young children to move to another coast so that she can further her college education. And not just for a short time--the couple has divorced. Now in this situation, there is culpability with the husband also. But here is the woman who is leaving her children. Why? So she can have it her way. So she can pursue her own interests and goals.

The apostle Paul says to us in Philippians 2, "Don't just look out for your own interests, but look out for the interests of others." Paul goes on to say, "I want to send Timothy to visit you, because I have no one like-minded who will sincerely care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 2:19-21).

Isn't Jesus exactly the opposite? He left His way, His interests, His glory in heaven so that He could come down to this earth (and) lay down His life for us. Would He have gone to the cross for us if He were seeking to have it His way? Jesus came, not to be served but to serve. He never sought His own welfare. He always sought the welfare of others.

So how are you on this test? Do you consciously look out for the welfare of others--the interests of others--above your own interests? Or are you self-protective? Protective of your time, your rights, your reputation, your way? Think about your relationships at work and at home. Do you insist that others do things your way?
I find myself so often in meetings having an idea of how things should be done. I can be like a pit bull to make sure that things end up the way that seems right to me. So many times these are not matters of really right and wrong. They're matters of preference. They're matters of opinion.

I think of some friends of mine that the husband--when he would work in the kitchen--he thought you should take out one thing at a time and then put it back before you got something else out to use it. The wife, on the other hand, liked to pull out all the ingredients, all the things to use. Well, the husband couldn't stand that, because that was very cluttered to him. But to the wife, his way of doing it was inefficient. Now how did that couple learn to walk together in love? They learned to say, "It doesn't have to be my way. Your way is okay, too." Learn to defer. Learn to yield and not to have to have it your own way.

 

[cristianna]

I know I'm very capable of coming across as rude, and sometimes it's just as much intentional as it isn't... if anyone understands that. But I do work very diligently trying to ensure every aspect of me-- facial expressions, tone and words, are saying everything except rude.
So this is topic is definitely one I need to really read over and absorb. This is like a smack in the face, but a healthy eye opening smack in the face. lol

My personality at times is get down to business then chit chat, socialize, etc. So I can fully empathize with Ms. DeMoss when she was at the table being "rude". I think I've done that! I'm going to have to be more observant and cautious.

I do feel as though I do a good job of putting many peoples needs before mine. And they can range from skipping out on my plans for the day to wait for the UPS man for my neighbor, picking up neighbors and friends sick children from school because it's quicker for me to get them instead of them waiting around for a parent to show up, I can't tell you how many meals I make that I cannot stand but is a favorite of everyone else in the home, etc. I know many consider me as the "go to" person and know I will drop everything to help them out.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

How's Your Love Life?, Part 10​

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Series: How's Your Love Life?​

So how are you on this test? Do you consciously look out for the welfare of others--the interests of others--above your own interests? Or are you self-protective? Protective of your time, your rights, your reputation, your way? Think about your relationships at work and at home. Do you insist that others do things your way?
I find myself so often in meetings having an idea of how things should be done. I can be like a pit bull to make sure that things end up the way that seems right to me. So many times these are not matters of really right and wrong. They're matters of preference. They're matters of opinion.

Excellent topic as always! And one I really need to give some thought to and search myself out. Keeping I Cor. 13 foremost in our minds is probably the key to overcoming wrong motives and to keep from coming across in a rude manner. More often then not, I too, am VERY guilty of saying things without thought to how it sounds or how it will be perceived and received. Thank you for bringing this up! I'll definitely be searching my heart and asking God to show me where I am wrong and to create a clean heart in me!

 

[cristianna]

When I was younger I had the worse case " no self-esteem". Even after being saved. Then really knowing what I am, a new creature, loved beyond measure, a daughter to God changed that.
But sometimes that comes back briefly, those feelings. And it is so wrong. God doesn't see us that way and for us to do so is wrong.
I never see someone as beautiful by what they look like in terms of what the world calls beautiful. I never did and I think that is a blessing from God. Beauty flows out of a believer. Light and loves shine through them. God shines through them!

You know I was feeling bad about myself last night, my oldest daughter and hubby were complaining and I started feeling bad about myself. I let them take what I know about me, and replace it with wrong feelings about myself. But it wasn't them that did that to me, it was myself.
Then I woke up this morning and they all left for work and school and those wrong feelings left also. I will remember all this. So when it starts happening again, I can stop "feeling" that way immediately because I "know" what and who I truely am.
And stop shifting the focus on myself when my eyes should always be fixed on God!

Thank you Cristianna Very well timed

Magdiel!!!! It just dawned on me you're here! Anyone's welcome to call me "slow". I'm glad to see you. And I'm glad this was beneficial for you.