[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Before I became a true Christian, I looked at God with the thought that if there were a God, then my life wouldn't be so bad. He would take from me all that was wrong, and plant only goodness and happiness. After all, isn't that what God does?
So I tried ' the God ' thing when I was sixteen. I read the bible, I listened to the sermons, I heard the words, and played the part, but that was all it was. It was a part, an act, a sham. I wasn't any different that I was before. I was just as messed up on the inside as before, probably more so, because now I knew that wasn't the answer. There wasn't an easy fix that would free me from depression, that would take away the suicidal thoughts, nor the harm that I did to myself. And once again, more hope was gone from my life.
That is the trouble when we try to classify God. When we put Him in this neat little box, and close the lid, saying this is the way it should be. Our lives just don't work that way, and as we hear from the lips of our beloved brother David, it's not the way God works either.
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]What God has done for me, is not [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]take [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]from me my depression, but He's taught me to [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]give[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif] it to Him. He's not cured me of the mental illness that I suffer, but He's showing me how to overcome it through prayer, through fasting, and scripture. He does not destroy you and create a new person when we turn to Him with our whole hearts, He restores the old, and ineffect, bring new life to that which was dead, ' restores my soul. '[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]There's an awesome poem I found a while ago, called Savior Words:[/FONT]
[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]The Saviors Words[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never felt pain,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Then how would you know that I'm a Healer?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never went through the darkness,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you know that I'm a Deliverer?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never had a trial,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How could you call yourself an overcomer?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never felt sadness,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you know that I'm a Comforter?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never made a mistake,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you know that I'm forgiving?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you knew all,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you know that I will answer your questions?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never were in trouble,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you know that I will come to your rescue?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never were broken,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Then how would know that I can make you whole?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never had a problem,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you know that I can solve them?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never had any suffering,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]then how would you know what I went through?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you never went through the fire,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]then how would you become pure?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If I gave you all things,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you appreciate them?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If I never corrected you,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]How would you know that I love you?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If you had all power,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Then how would you learn to depend on me?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]If your life was perfect,[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Then what would you need Me for?[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]
What a perfect way to put our questions beside God's answers. During my deepest depressions, I've cried out, and asked, ' why Father, won't You just take this from me? ' During the darkest times, I've questioned, not His Love, but His Timing. Yet those times, when the darkness is upon me, when the depths of the despair is overwhelming, I feel His Presence the most, because those are the times when He 'restores my soul'. Those are the times when He brings me Hope and Wisdom, Peace and Understanding. Those are the times when He Strengthens me, showing me that it is not my might, but by His that my depression is overcome, that my anxiety will fade away. He restores my soul.[/FONT]